WWYD friend been attacked tonight

[cherrytreeblossom]

My friend has been physically hurt by abusive ex tonight (taking advantage of the vulnerability of being isolated)

Police involved etc

I'm strictly following isolation rules

But feel desperate to offer support

Would going to see her at her door but standing well Back to at least show her a friendly face and be able to vent ? Discuss what she does best fit in to visiting a vulnerable person.

Or no ?

Dont go. You will put her and her son in danger. The last thing she needs is to catch a virus. Skype her

Yes, do phone her if she can take the call safely.

@freddiethegreat

As someone who is currently at risk a domestic violence daily, I would be very very grateful under these circumstances if a friend came. It feels like the situation has set me up to be beaten at present. I can absolutely see why I am being left to get on with it as best I can now, but if the threat becomes reality & I get hurt, I do hope someone will come.

Can you not contact a friend for help? It might sound flippant but you need to leave.

So sorry to hear this :(

@slashlover there are complications which the agencies involved understand, even if they don’t necessarily endorse.

I'd go. This is giving care to someone who is vulnerable - we can't stop being humans and having compassion during this crisis.

However humanitarian the reason it doesn’t make it any less risky. The virus doesn’t give a toss for compassion.

There are government guidelines regarding this situation, you obviously have internet access,

It's a tricky one, but I think you have to follow the lockdown rules

For the love of god. Half the country is still going to work and (key workers aside), doing jobs far less important than comforting an abused woman. Unless one of you is in a medically-vulnerable group who should be shielding, go.

@freddiethegreat
At risk or actually experiencing it?
Only trying to help.

Astonished by all the people saying go and see her - NO, NO, NO.
Skype, call, stay online all night.
Do not break the quarantine.

@samtsirch nothing physical this week. But this thread wasn’t about me, so I will step out now. Was just saying - if & when it’s me, I hope someone will be brave & come. Call me selfish, but there it is.

If this was my friend or sister there would be no question. I would be there in a heart beat. This is definitely an exception and your friend needs you.

Everyone I know is still going to work. Everyone I know is still catching public transport, and/or going round the shops. Half of the people I know in my area still send their children to school despite only one parent being a key worker and the other ones at home. I don’t know anyone with Coronavirus, let alone someone who has died. For the love of god, please don’t ask Mumsnet for advice on visiting a friend and child who have been battered by the husband. Follow the guidelines and use common sense. Imo a friend who has been battered by her husband meets the criteria of essential reasons. I guess that’s open to interpretation but I wouldn’t give a fuck if it was my friend. Trust your own judgements and instincts

If she was happy for me to come over knowing my job/exposure level etc I'd go in a heartbeat. Or if I had the space/resources have her and her kid stay with me.

@MrsNoah2020 only just read your post, but yes! The tubes, trains, taxis and buses (by me) are still full. Factories, warehouses and building sites are still full. Never mind the whole nhs (plus 750000 volunteers) and carers, emergency services, anyone who ones a restaurant, cafe, butchers, or anyone who works in a supermarket or any kind of food shop. Obviously police, but also traffic wardens and council workers are still everywhere. I went through my local town yesterday. Poundstretcher, wilkos, Poundland, b&m’s and home bargains was open despite selling mostly crap. All the local newsagents, post offices and off-licences are open. But don’t you dare ask on Mumsnet to look after your battered friend and child

I would absolutely go to her in a heartbeat

@freddiethegreat
Thought so
😏

Things worsened last night, ending in him strangling her. and he has spent the night in police custody.

She had cctv installed recently to feel safer and he's cut the wire.

It's so scary and sinister and the isolation on top is just awful.

The police responded quickly thank goodness.

Was he let out last night??

This is appalling however he has shown his true colours very vividly, I hope this despicable person gets exactly what he deserves.

I posted in initial post police involved - turns out she hadn't yet called them at that point.

When she did they arrested him and he's still there now

Is he still there? I would encourage her to see if there are any charities locally, there are an amazing team of women still working (harder than ever) to support other women in this crisis, and can offer more than the police can. Have you been in contact with her today? What would she like you to do?

We've spent a lot of the day on the phone.

I haven't been to see her.

She's in touch with woman's aid and children's services now.

He's due to appear in court in the morning

I hope they keep him in custody and don't bail him! It's all very well telling someone like him to stay away, but quite another thing to making him comply.

If he's released, she needs to be alerted and found a refuge with her child.

You've been a staunch friend, Cherry.