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Original poster

Children going to stay with grandparents

39 replies

Jourdain11 · 28/03/2020 21:46

My gut reaction is that this wouldn't be allowed or okay, so I'm not going to give a really detailed scenario, but just asking for others' instinctive reactions also.

Say one parent is non-Corona ill and likely to be in hospital for periods, and it would be almost impossible for the other parent to look after the children at home at the same time. The grandparents (who live in another town and are in good health, not in vulnerable groups and so on) are happy to have the children to stay for a few weeks. Could this be acceptable?

Yes - it is okay, to save the kids from a distressing situation and the parent from wearing themselvea to a frazzle
No - because, just no.

OP posts:
Figgygal · 29/03/2020 08:31

Did you just say your dad would have to come from Cornwall to London to pick them up be worried about your dad being stopped by police on the journey

Original poster
Jourdain11 · 29/03/2020 08:38

Yes, I have thought through this and it is like there are no good options!

A little bit of me is worried, what if it did end up to be for 6 months....? What if the restrictions are in place until the years end, or even longer?

But I'm just terrified about the effect this will have on the kids. Already DD6 is in tears every night because she can't give me cuddle before going to bed and DD7 is coming out with a lot of awkward questions, mainly in front of her siblings!

OP posts:
Original poster
Jourdain11 · 29/03/2020 08:59

And I know there are people dying and worse things happening, and this is a hard time for everyone. I don't want to be selfish - but I am so worried about the kids and DP.

OP posts:
MaudebeGonne · 29/03/2020 09:06

What is your DP and the Grandparents saying? Does your partner want to be seperated from the children at the moment? I know you are trying to do the best for everyone, but it is a lot on your shoulders as well as the stress of awaiting a definite answer on the diagnosis.

I hope you can work out a good solution between you all. I hope you get good yon your blood results.

Original poster
Jourdain11 · 29/03/2020 21:41

No, he doesn't want to be, but think he's worried about the risk that he gets he virus badly (or one of them does) and they are caught short.

I'm also worried about the kids being stuck "in the situation" without any normality to escape to - no school, no playdates, no activities, limited time to go out to the park and so on, even.

But my concern about going to the grandparents is, what if these restrictions are like 6 months and they are remaining all that time? It would be like evacuation in WW2 Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Jourdain11 · 01/04/2020 18:52

My blood results were unfortunately as expected, so the question becomes now little more urgent about the kids. I'm still in two minds!

Firstly, I'm worried that it's not really going to be what they want.

Secondly, I'm worried that if it has to be "for the duration" that could be for rather a long time!

Thirdly, a few people IRL have given me the "are you out of your mind, spreading germs up and down the country?" spiel. And I do recognise that it's a valid concern!

Not sure not sure Confused

OP posts:
Ratbagratty · 01/04/2020 19:17

I'm sorry to hear about your results. This is an emergency situation, send your dad an email with some documents to print out for the journey.

Pack the kids up with plenty of clothes, provisions and toys say for two weeks to make it a bit easier on GP washing and monies. If you can maybe pay for some paid for tv too.

No decision has to be made on when this ends and you can be reunited. It will depend on how you feel, how treatment goes and on how UK restrictions are. Concentration on what you can do now to prepare them and tell them it is until you are better/ready/ when drs say/ whatever you want to tell them, without giving a time.

Unmumsnetty hug

Inkpaperstars · 01/04/2020 19:33

I'm so sorry to hear about your results. Have you had any advice from your doctor about the dc and household measures?

Ignore the people worried about spreading germs around the country...this is definitely an exceptional situation. Hopefully that also means that in a stricter lockdown the dc will be able to travel home at any time if that is needed.

Wishing you all the best with treatment x

Original poster
Jourdain11 · 02/04/2020 19:29

Thank you so much for the advice. They are going - my FIL will pick them up Sunday. It feels so awful and weird - perhaps a bit like it was to evacuate kids in the war. Although at least we have internet and facetime and know where they are going - so I should be counting my blessings really!

OP posts:
SE13Mummy · 02/04/2020 20:30

Sorry to hear about your results. Have you been able to talk through likely treatment options with a doctor yet?

At the moment, you live in a flat with one bathroom, have three young children, are in London i.e. densely populated city and UK epicentre of the Covid-19 pandemic, and have a new diagnosis of leukaemia. When you start treatment, your children won't be able to visit you in hospital, because of restrictions everything including school is unavailable, it will be hard for them to be kept away from you in your flat (which only has one bathroom) and will be hard for them and you to know you're there but unavailable.

Grandparents who are in good health, do not have increased vulnerability to Covid-19, who live in a house in a less densely populated area, have a garden and can be 100% available to your children are in a position to care for them, keep them safe, give them cuddles, more space and facilitate lots of contact with you. They will also offer your children stability and lots of reassurance that you're being well looked after by your partner and medics.

You'll miss them, and they you, in both scenarios. Find out about treatment options, talk to your doctors about what they recommend, talk to your partner and to the grandparents. Whatever you go for, the next little while is going to be extra hard for you so you need to whatever feels right.

SE13Mummy · 02/04/2020 20:31

Aargh! Posted without refreshing the page first. Well done for making a decision.

maleficent53 · 02/04/2020 20:37

Wishing you all the best take care you are doing the very best for your family. Hope your treatment goes well,thinking of you x

Loveatortie · 02/04/2020 21:10

Your children have been off school/nursery for nearly 2 weeks. If they have no symptoms they should be fine to go to their grandparents. If fil is showing no symptoms, gets in the car, drives to pick them up and straight home. Sounds ok to me. You will all miss each other terribly. Hope your health improves and you are all home together soon. Take care Flowers

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 02/04/2020 21:17

Nothing to helpfully add but just wanted to say I’m so sorry to read about this. This is clearly an emergency and you are doing the right thing for you all flowers 💐

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