Is the virus making anyone reassess their life? What positive changes do you hope to make after?

[Canyoutellilikrchocolate]

DH and I both work in the City. Well paid. But long hours. Long commute. Toddler in childcare 4 days per week (mix of family help & nursery).

Normal life is so rushed. Everything is rushed, online shopping, quick & easy food all the time, etc etc. we both have hobbies we are passionate about but don’t spend enough time doing things we enjoy. Because we are always working / commuting. Most importantly family time is limited.

Although the virus is horrible and tragic, I have to admit it’s been nice actually having DH around in the evening and all spending more time together at home.

The virus has just got me thinking on so many levels.
Eg, I want to spend more time as a family.

I want to spend more (proper) time with my parents who live the other side of the country while I still can. They are 70s and we currently only manage occasional weekend visits. The virus has really brought this home to me.

I’ve wanted to sort out my garden for ages. We’re so lucky to have a large garden and I’ve always dreamed of growing my own fruit & veg, and never had the time, but this crisis has actually made me realise it’s something I should prioritise.

I want to cook better more nutritious meals instead of relying on convenience foods and wasting loads

I want to prioritise my health and fitness more instead of always being too tired for exercise.

I’m also not happy at work and totally fed up with ridiculous office politics and this crisis is making me question why I would want to be in that toxic environment. It’s also making me realise I’d like to do a job which is actually helping people.

Like most people, we do need to work to live so I can’t just quit my job and spend my days playing with my toddler and growing tomatoes. And I’m also realistic about the fact that - politics aside - I used to enjoy my job and have never seen myself as a SAHM.

Just wondered if the virus has put a few things in perspective for other people and is making them reconsider things?

Our plan has always been to pay off all our debt and get a deposit together and move to the seaside. The plan was that that would take 3 years. However we are now reevaluating what is 'essential' and are hoping to reduce it to 2 years. I dream of a lovely house with chickens in my garden and my children playing and the beach all summer.

Also that my family are so important to me and I should spend more time with them.

Another one is that my girls are so happy to potter about and not wanting days out and expensive things just us as parents to play with.

I am definitely going to spend less. I work PT as a support worker and I love my job but the pay sucks. However I have realised I dont help my poor wages by spending so much if it on stuff I dont really need.

I have s good work life balance, but I am enjoying not being so busy. I want to spend less time rushing around because I have realised it's okay to not be busy all the time.

The last three years have been an absolute hEglish roller coaster of divorce and loss. However I survived. I got a permanent NHS job and bought a house just before this all kicked off so I'm secure and it's such a relief after scrabbling for pennies and going from place to place.
My cat who has been by my side throughout was very ill and was going to be PTS twice has also made it through and is well again.
I'm going to take care of my spiritual life now.
After this is early I'm going to walk and walk and woke and really explore the countryside and lose the rest of the weight. It's time to get fit.
I'm going to put 100% into friends and family.

I've realised I spend money on stuff that I don't need and I've enjoyed spending next to nothing-I want that to continue.We have enough.
I'm going to continue working for the NHS until this is over and then hand my notice in immediately because I never want to be put in this position by an employer again.

I would like us to downsize to a cheaper house (if the property market ever recovers). And just cut back on our living costs generally in order to pave the way for Dh to retire at 60 - he’s a hospital Dr and was exhausted and stressed even before all this kicked off!
And pps are right the NHS does not look after its staff very well.

I dreamt last night that we bought a little flat in Vienna.

This was a long forgotten dream DH and I had when we first met 20 years ago.

Might resurrect it.

I am also working insane hours as my workplace put 60% of staff on furlough and expect us to keep the show running.

When all this is over I want to go part time.

I thought my kids (who are 6 and 4, both autistic with learning difficulties) would really hate being at home all the time, miss school/nursery and their routine. Turns out they love it!

So our change is that we need to spend more time at home, take the pressure off ourselves.

Definitely a new job ,my kids are off to college uni so now I want to do something I can really get me teeth into.
See lots of people I haven't seen in a long time,prioritise relationships.
I want to keep walking I have been walking an hour a day and feel physically do much better.
Appreciate the small things,I'm generally positive but really want to savour somethings more.

Love love this thread

I’m at a crossroads. I have made huge changes to my life already - we live more rurally and I work P/T

I don’t feel remotely useful to society in my job. But it fits around the kids. I am lucky to have a job though.

Lots of common themes like realising kids are happy mucking around at home and spending less money.

My DC is only little but has been happy running around the garden. She didn’t want to go out the other day when I tried to take her on a daily walk!

I’m spending less money, partly from not wasting any food, but also not going to coffee shops or clothes shopping. I’m not missing either TBH (although might after a few more weeks )

I was very lucky before this as I only worked four short days so I already had lots of time with my son.

A few things where I originally thought “no it’s too soon” are no longer too soon as in reality I thought other people might think things were happening too quickly.

I’m going to up my rugby training, I was only going once a week before which really isn’t enough.

But I feel very lucky that I don’t feel the need to change a great deal as I was generally very content before.

Being honest with myself, I feel that for a long time I've been buying things to make up for deficits elsewhere in my life. Before corona I was too tired and wiped out to even attempt to think about this properly, let alone do something about it.

Like another PP said, I feel I'm at a crossroads and, once things get back to being more normal, there's a choice I have to make. Do I carry on this road? Or do I actively chose to change direction.

I can really get into practise with the not buying stuff now beause I've next to no money!

For a long time I've wanted to spend ore time at home, so I've got my wish for a little while!

Change of job and cut down to part time.

Great thread. Covid actually made me want to speed up the process of changing my profession. I am dreaming of becoming a software developer and I am feeling motivated to do it as soon as I can. Also, I would like to work more on my financial security. Spend less time worrying about people and stuff that don’t matter. Look even more after my health, be more creative in the kitchen cooking healthy meals for me and my other half.

Yes absolutely.

1. I want to get healthier and fitter
2. I want to finally leave the job that is making me miserable. My dream career is something completely different to what I do now and it's something that you have to be relatively fit for so it ties into point number 1!

Yes I feel exactly the same !

Be the same antisocial, grumpy,miserable sod since I've discovered the lockdown has barely had any effect on my life.

Going to assess my relationship ( again ) with my husband. He has been quite emotionally abusive to me the past few days.
That took a lot to write that. And breathe.

I have realised how much he treats me
like a doormat and that he probably loves me a lot less than I love him.

Also his family- I have actually realised that not one of them gives a toss about me. At all.

I've enjoyed the lack of pressure to do stuff and be content being at home. Will definitely wfh more in the future.
DH and I haven't been getting on for a long time so not enjoying being around him as much. There are difficult conversations to have but I'm not sure I can face that right now.

I was already on the path to changing my life due to being unemployed for some time, but this has just reaffirmed that change. I've learnt that buying stuff is mostly meaningless and I can be happy with much less. After spending over 40 years doing administration work I want to do something totally different, even if I get paid less. Also, it's time to maybe look for part-time work rather than full-time. There is more to life than doing something I don't enjoy to earn money to buy things I don't need.

Confirmed changes made in the past.

I was right to focus on the positive.

I was right to disengage from workplace and "friendship" group and individual drama in all forms.

My mother is an absolute narcissist and deeply unpleasant black hole of a person.

Social distancing and lockdown is an introvert's paradise.

The only change really is spending less because everything is closed and grocery shopping is so anxiety inducing. It's a weird but nice feeling to have savings. Not just coping but actually enjoying life more while spending less.

PippaPegg, food shopping makes me anxious too! I am worried that I won’t get the stuff that I won’t. I am probably being overreactive, but I am running out of laundry powder and I am already frightened that there will be none left in the shop. Probably it won’t be this bad, but I won’t relax until I’m done with my shopping for 14 days.

*that I want, not won’t

We already have quite a slow pace of life (I had a nasty experience of chronic illness for the last 18 months). As a family we are used to spending quite a lot of time at home, cooking, playing games etc. So that hasn't been a big shock.

I do want to continue using local butchers and Farm shops for food deliveries in the future. The quality is much better than tescos.