The rise in the hero complex

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

There has been a certain rise in people claiming they are or thinking they are heroes. "We are saving lives".

That basically involves an avid desire to report anyone that dares to leave the house, police everyone else, dismiss the worries and concerns of others, ridiculing, attacking,bullying and emotionally blackmailing anyone who struggles, some kind of irrational fear/hate of children and gleeful virtue signaling about how much better they are at staying home. Abusing key workers that in their eyes are not doing their job,for doing their job, following guidelines(made up or official) ,not following guidelines,in the wrong clothes etc.

There are people who are seriously struggling right now, emotionally,financially,mentally,physically etc. People that are becoming more and more vulnerable as more restrictions and public policing come in. People that have killed themselves due to the situation we are in.

They are not heroes,they are not saving lives.

As long as you don't breathe in the direction of anyone else, you should be fine.

Just dont tweet about your breathing and u should be good

@isabellerossignol,

I might start posting on Facebook about how my 13 year old is #savinglives by locking herself in her bedroom for 23 hours a day to watch Tiktok videos.

My 18 yo has been unknowingly saving lives for the last year then

I'm so glad I found this thread as I thought it was just me.

I've been feeling like scrooge with my opinion on the clapping, FB oneupmanship, policing of other people's actions, etc.

Am glad that this thread exists. Am also glad I'm not on FB because, going on what I've read on here, I'd have gone totally mad by now if I was.

We don't hear about the genuine altruists, the genuine do-gooders. All we seem to be hearing about are the superficial eejits and we know that when this over those virtue signallers will restart their slagging off of public services and voted Tory in December! Save your clap (means something entirely different to me. Can't help but smirk) and have a think about the world you live in rather than puffing your chest out on SM. You don't really care. The hypocrisy is breath taking (no pun intended).

I have wine, steak (live in a predominately Muslim area so there's lots here) and chips and I'm a coward rather than a hero.

@FrangipaniBlue Thank you feeling much better after that, husband just back from Aldi with a bar of chocolate, steak and cheesecake for tonight will enjoy all while thinking of everybody out there just doing what they can to get through this without having to bring down other people to make themselves feel worthy. Xxx

Maybe we should up our game if even seagulls(feathered ASBOs that they are) can do it.

I really don't like gin. I feel like I'm missing something, as it's so popular, but to me it smells like turps 🤔
I'm trying to decide if finances will allow a bottle of rum though..Pina Colladas!
That'll cheer us up.

Ohhh god.....I could murder a Cuba libre with a really nice rum. Right now, and I barely drink. Dont think I have ever fancied a drink at lunchtime before.

Unfortunately I have dont have rum, coke or limes at the moment! 😭

This will be a long one...but I’m hoping you sane wonderful people will just let me rant - so I can go back to my deranged smiling & not smashing my head on the keyboard.....”Details slightly changed owing to the fact Princess Virtue (Fuckwit) is on MN somewhere”.

I have in my extended family someone who excels at virtue signalling but quite seriously does fuck all for anyone ever. Just says on repeat “oh I’d do anything for anyone”....so often that people actually believe them 🤣

They are the sort of charming individual (oh yes they even have that thin lipped perma fake smile) who in normal times state that if people are struggling they should set a clear budget, sell their TVs and stop their phones, and only buy essentials.....oh yes this is the person who will be most definitely on the judgy judgy pants threads.

Well I contacted Princess Virtue the other week - as I lost my flaming mind and thought it was the right thing to do..- just a gentle how is everything going? No response.

Roll on a week, I’ve had Princess Virtues elderly DPs on the phone frantically worried that Princess hasn’t been in contact. They were also running low on food, terrified to go out & are struggling to get in contact with the doctors, they can’t work out how to order online.....etc. Having a right panic.

Princess Virtues DPs are actually lovely lovely sweet people, so for them to call me.... so I’ve done what any normal person would do.... sorted the meds, and added them to my weekly Pac-Man shopping trip, and set up some deliveries for them..including the essentials of wine and cheese.

And of course promised I’d try to get hold of their DD. At this point I’m actually starting to worry a bit myself, maybe I’m being a horrible person and something has actually happened.

I sent a message to Princess Virtue literally just stating “ hi, just wanted to check you are ok, a bit worried we haven’t heard from you, it would be really appreciated if you could reply so we know you are ok”. Love BringtheGin

I just got a response - Basically how dare I give her only a week to respond, everyone was on her list to contact when she got a moment..she is super super busy, just so much cleaning and laundry to do now as her darling darling child has come home. (They are fucking adult for crying out loud...who normally lives elsewhere)...this is an incredibly stressful time for her - it was a full on A4 page of her describing all the jobs she now has to do, folding the laundry, ironing, cooking meals...she doesn’t work btw & has zero financial or health issues. She is just a fuckwit.

Just waiting until she finds out I sent her DPs wine 🤣

I’m opening the Gin and breathe.

Similar situation here, @SmileyClare, @Greysparkles, my oh won't get any help from the government even though his invoicing has dropped by 60% overnight, and it's expected to just keep getting worse.
He's wfh now and will have to keep going on and hope he can ride it out and rebuild. As he's still trying to do what he can (ie still working, chasing invoices/jobs,etc) we don't qualify for UC either, and tbh, it wouldn't cover the mortgage let alone anything else.

We're in a state of panic and don't have any savings as every spare penny was accounted for with essential bills/loans,etc. I'm a sahm so no income there either.
I'd actually gotten myself an interview for some temporary work and then on the day of induction I woke up with a high fever, cough, etc, so I had to cancel.
I did send a message to explain and apologise, but I've heard nothing back so assume that that opportunity has gone. I'm very limited in what I can do, so not likely to find much else that's suitable.

Things would've gotten better for us from the summer if this hadn't happened.
Our business loan, etc, would've been paid off and we'd have finally been able to start saving for our retirement, etc.

Now we could lose everything including our house.

To see people gloating about other's misfortune has been really eye opening and quite sad.

We've always tried to treat people how we'd like to be treated, always paid our dues, etc, so all of this feels like a slap in the face.

I'm not going to let it change how I behave to others, but it feels very unfair sometimes.

Omg! Sorry that was quite a depressing post!

@Knowhowufeel2 I'm sending you virtual Gin or a cocktail 🍸

Anyone had any joy on locating more Spanish soldiers

Omg a local bakery is delivering cake, cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake. Cake is essential

Knowhowyoufeel there are a lot of people in the same boat. It's a terrible situation and you have my sympathies. I've no idea how we'll recover financially from this and have had to now borrow money from family which I find humiliating. I'm trying to take each week as it comes at the moment as I'm no help to anyone being a sobbing anxious wreck.
I hope you feel better soon. There are temporary jobs available in shops and so on although opportunities are limited so don't lose hope of finding something else.
I understand the horrible state of panic you describe.
I too am feeling exasperated by some of the minor issues people are squabbling about on here and have stepped back from mumsnet for a bit!

On a lighter note, I've sent you our last remaining Spanish soldier. Unfortunately it's the defective STD riddled one so best to just admire him from your window

@bringthegin I'd just reply to precious princess with a Link to a time management TED talk/course. But I'm a twat .

bringthegin so sorry you have relatives like that. Hope your gin is here.

@Knowhowufeel2 so sorry things are so difficult. There does seem to be some floaters about. Theres no need for it.

And definitely exercise social distance from the soldier, that Smiley is sending. Looking only!

@Knowhowufeel2 and @SmileyClare the money situation is... well it might sounds flippant but for me more worrying than the actual virus.

We might survive this but we'll still have bills, need somewhere to live etc and fuck knows how much debt at the end of this.

Have you checked all the possible benefits you might apply for? Will the bank give you a mortgage holiday? Same for some bills.

I guess it's a prioritising situation, but at the end if the day you can't draw blood from a stone.

I still get paid , but it's a grand total of £900 a month. OH is due his feb pay (the only silver lining for being constantly paid late for nearly a year) so we know we have some money coming in. Fuck knows what will happen after that. I'm going from one extreme of not buying/spending anything,toast and butter is fine to ordering x and y because they're necessary and adding z because it would be nice and then feeling guilty for it.

OH is considering looking for a supermarket job but he's 50 with a heart condition and bad habits so I worry. Fuck knows.

I'm trying to be the upbeat, jokey "it's fiiiiine " one both for him and DD but the resources are wearing thin.

Bitching on MN helps

And definitely exercise social distance from the soldier, that Smiley is sending. Looking only!

Read that as licking and was ready to sharpen the pitchfork and light the torch.

@PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock, did you bleach the grass before and after the hill roll though? If not you're being extremely reckless and uncaring!!😷🤭

Other people may walk on that grass and catch your dd's germs! 😉

We're in a situation where at the moment, I have income but my fixed term contract is up in July.

DH is self employed so currently getting nothing (and won't until about June when they get the system sorted).

We can survive for a wee while on my wage and by dipping into savings while DH has no income, but then by the time he starts having an income again mine will stop. My income is 70% of our household income and because I'm neither self employed nor furloughed (fixed term contract) I will get nada.

We had a holiday to Florida planned later this year and the way things are looking, even if C19 doesn't stop us going we may end up having to break into the holiday pot (that we've been saving for 2 years) just to pay the mortgage and bills.

I'm trying not to think about it or I'd cry

I'm sorry there are so many in this situation.

The financial side really sucks, and talking about it or worrying about it doesn't make us any less empathetic towards other people's situations, etc.

You'd think it was a crime with some posters, especially if you're self employed.

I do have a confession though......I bake sourdough bread 😯☺ my excuse is that I've been doing so for around 7 years, so please don't ban me from this thread 😁

My dd is also studying most days, although I've nothing to do with this, tbh, I've got other things on my mind. She's just a lot more self disciplined than me and seems to enjoy it.

I think you'd like my supply cupboard, bringthegin, I'm a bit of a sucker for buying new alcohol to try, especially if the blurb makes it sounds nice and I have quite a few gins, even though I'm not a big gin drinker. I tried some last year and it was nicer than I thought it would be, so I've since added a few to my collection

I also like to have a selection of different alcohol in for when we have friends over, and since lockdown that's worked out pretty well for me 😂🍷🍹🍸🥃

Cake, cake, cake, cake....and rum! Now we're talking.

Frangipani is it not possible to get furloughed on a fixed term contract? I ask because I know some people who have been furloughed on zero hours contracts. So many people are on FTC no, it's hard to believe that the companies can get away with just not paying you anything?

I do have a confession though......I bake sourdough bread 😯☺ my excuse is that I've been doing so for around 7 years, so please don't ban me from this thread

Do you have any plans to burn at stake any parents that might be using it for frivolous baking(cakes,pancakes,) or shock horror...playdough/saltdough?

is it not possible to get furloughed on a fixed term contract?

Yes you can be furloughed on a FTC but they need me still and I worked from home even before this so there's no need for them to furlough me. Once my FTC comes to an end in July I'm simply no longer employed by them.

Cest La Vie!