I don’t think I can do this

[Stupidanduseless]

If I happen to die now - at home - I won’t get a funeral I know, but presumably someone would still be about to take me away?
I don’t think I can do this for another 6/12 months. I just don’t. I’m not in a great relationship and I’m now entirely isolated from everyone who would usually help me. I’m feeling so panicky, I feel like I’m in prison, I know everyone is. I will need medication in the next couple of weeks, and I’m too scared to get it. Not if the virus, I’m scared of being stopped by the police. The rules frighten me. It’s insulin I need. I’ve been using as little as possible to try and stretch it out but I will definitely need some before lockdown is over, in which case I will die anyway?
I don’t think I can do this.

Can you google an email address for your local pharmacy? They will help you.

I don’t know. Maybe. It’s hard to get through at the best of times.
I’m not in any danger. I’m just struggling.
I feel afraid to leave my house in case I get arrested, I know it’s crazy logically. People have walked past my house today. I haven’t seen any police. I just feel like I shouldn’t be out there and frightened to risk it.
Then the gp sent that message so I think everywhere is really overworked.

You are allowed out for exercise daily.

I’ve got relatives in the police, their just people who wear a uniform.

Can you get on some sort of chat with the police? What you've written in your posts the last several days indicate he is not watching your online activity, so might try that.

My prescription goes electronically. The pharmacy haven’t been answering the phones for at least ten days.

Yes, everyone is working hard and is super busy. BUT you have a medical need and won't be bothering anyone. You can download the NHS app to order prescriptions from your surgery. It's taking a little bit longer to register just now but should be complete within 48 hours.

Do that, order your prescription. There is a space for notes/ special requests. Say you NEED it delivered.

I feel really uncomfortable about going out because we aren’t allowed to

Who told you this? It’s wrong. Unless you have symptoms that could be COVID 19 you can go out even the government website says the following;
Only go outside for food, health reasons or work (but only if you cannot work from home)
If you go out, stay 2 metres (6ft) away from other people at all times
Wash your hands as soon as you get home

Of course you’d cope if police stopped you. If you are out for food, medicine or Your once a day exercise you are not doing nothing wrong so you don’t need to fear the police.

I don’t think I need the police. It’s hard more than dangerous. It’s the fact I’ve no privacy when I call a friend or relative. It’s hard. I’m not doing well with it.
I also think at some point food will be an issue so if I’m eating a lot less what we have will last longer plus I won’t need to check my sugars as frequently so the test strips will last longer as well.

How much of this is your own anxiety and how much is your husband putting restrictions on you/frightening you with horror stories.

Can you access any if the support/volunteer groups on fb?

Does the GP surgery have an email address? Could the local pharmacy advise?

Is there anyone you can text/message ir email? Don't think you're not worthy of their time or attention. A lot of people would help if they had even a hint of how close to the brink you are.

Take it slow and take it easy. Focus on the things you can control. Go out in the garden if you have one or outside to take the bins and just increase the time you are out.

You are not alone, you are not the only one in this situation and it will not last for the next 6-12 .

Plus, you really need to change your user name. I'm sure you are neither stupid or useless.

Please try to go round to the chemist and get your meds op. I know it'll be hard and I get the feeling a lot of your anxiety comes from your relationship. But you must try.
We won't be living like this forever and you are allowed out for essential things like the meds you need

You're allowed outside to exercise once a day, would you be able to get out on your own to ring your support network? Say you're using your phone for music?

You are endangering your health.
Making out like eating less and using less insulin is a good idea just shows how disordered your thinking is.

If I go out to exercise he comes too.

If there are police about they are there to stop groups of people gathering. They're not going to stop you from getting a prescription, OP. Didn't you hear Boris say that that's one of the things you can do?

This is what he said:

The government guidance says people should only leave home for one of four reasons:

Shopping for basic necessities such as food and medicine. Shopping trips should be as infrequent as possible

One form of exercise a day such as a run, walk, or cycle. This should be done alone or only with people you live with

Any medical need, or to provide care or to help a vulnerable person.
This includes moving children under the age of 18 between their parents' homes, where applicable. Key workers or those with children identified as vulnerable can continue to take their children to school

Travelling to and from work, but only where this is absolutely necessary and cannot be done from home

But I don’t feel comfortable to go out to do that either at the moment.

You absolutely must and can get your meds. Get onto your GP. Ask them. Ask on your local FB page. Every community I know is setting up schemes to help people like you. Don’t be afraid to ask!

Why don’t you feel comfortable about going out for a walk?

It seems scary out there, not the virus. The rest of it.

I KNOW there's a risk of catching this thing but you need to change your mindset. You can still go to the chemist and get more insulin. That's allowed. Be determined to get through this so that you can get rid of the shitty relationship.

You have all of my sympathies though as I was in an abusive relationship 13 years ago and I have been thinking that as hard as this is and as scary as it is still having to go to work, I am so much happier to be thirteen years older and putting myself at risk going to work than to be trapped at home in isolation with him.

Please don't give up. These shitty relationships take so much strength that rebuilding a new life isn't as hard as you think.

It seems scary out there? But you go for exercise it sounds like. Why is that not scary?

You have to get your medication. It’s not Optional.

OP I know at the moment we are inundated with messages to stay home,scaremongering,how selfish everything is etc. Not only are these the rants of curtain twitcher mini dictators, none of it applied to you.

You have a genuine,reasonable and essential need. It's a medical need and it is vital. You have the right to go out. You deserve to go out and save your life. You're just as important as everyone else and worthy , and your insulin is necessary. Your needs are important. Your life and health are important.

So you need to electronically request a repeat asap then go , with h if needs be, to collect, or ask a neighbour. Chemists are asking you to allow extra time to process so factor that in to when you need to request it. Situation sounds very controlled but denying you access to healthcare, food and drugs to keep you alive is abusive. Is there something else going on that makes you so literal about the public health information and general texts.

Please listen. As far as the government and police are concerned, you are allowed to go out to get food and to get medical help/medicine. You have NOTHING to be worried about doing that. I promise.

The best thing to do is email your surgery and order your insulin that way. Then email the pharmacy to ask when it will be ready to collect.

I suspect it’s too big a step today, but think about which family member or friend you might be able to go and live with. You are allowed to move to somewhere safe & where you will be supported.