Do I reduce DS's keep while he's on 80% pay?

[Makeitgoaway]

19yo. He has some savings, doesn't spend his full earnings anyway and of course not much to spend it on atm. He hasn't asked for a reduction. He doesn't make any "savings" by not working, he walks to work and they provide his lunch.

Which means he's eating more at home. He's also doing some odd jobs at home, some decorating and the heavy lifting in the garden.

If it makes a difference he's also registered an an NHS volunteer and has been very good about complying with all the restrictions, absolutely not one of those young people I keep hearing about who are still put and about.. I suppose I feel like he "deserves" something

He currently pays £50 pw which is about 20% of his usual income and he pays for his own phone, Netflix etc

We're actually better off ourselves. WFH on full pay and saving substantial commuting costs. Although our pension pot has been decimated and we had been hoping to retire fairly soon.

He will probably be spending less generally, so keep it as it is OP. £50 a week seems entirely reasonable if it includes food too.

Of course

Yes! Of course you do.

Mine pays the same.
£200 every four weeks.
I have reduced it to £160, as I am key worker I expect the housework to be done when I get home.

Yes of course. Can’t believe you have to ask.

Of course you reduce it!
He can save the extra money and spend it on something lovely after this is over.
Now isn’t the time to be agonising over a tenner here and there, if you don’t have to.

The only correct answer is ... if you can afford to.

If you work out he is costing you more then no.

He is an adult and has his own responsibilities to take care of during this time... and that includes his share of the additional financial burden.

Why do you even need to ask?

I'm not sure why some people think it's so clear cut, especially as not everyone agrees.

It hasn't occurred to him to ask for a reduction, he knows he's costing us more in food.

The £40 pm difference isn't really going to change much for him or us. The reason he pays keep at all is for the "life lesson" of understanding living costs money. That hasn't changed.

I can see both sides, if you can afford to reduce it it would be nice to, but also, if you are charging him keep as a life lesson, it's a good way of learning that in the real world, your rent, bills and food costs don't drop by 20%, just because your salary does.
I think I would reduce it though, if he's going out and volunteering rather than just sitting at home.

The reason he pays keep at all is for the "life lesson" of understanding living costs money.

Ok, so have a conversation with him about your thoughts and see what he's thinking? Wouldn't that be more of a " learning opportunity" if you talk it through with him as an adult member of your household and debate and agree it together instead of secretly gathering random internet opinions and then imposing your decision?

Maybe he thought about asking but then reached his own conclusions without involving you either. It seems sensible to talk to each other unless you think bringing it up will cause some kind of conflict?

Shocked you’re asking

Of course!!!

He’s 19
Has saved some money
Registered as an NHS volunteer
Complied with all the guidance
Doing jobs around the house
Making so saving from the situation
And hasn’t asked for a reduction

He sounds a very decent person...without doubt I’d be offering him a reduction (in fact is probably say pay nothing!)

Making no savings

No. If you do that then you are shielding him from learning about responsibilities. If he left home he wouldn't receive a reduction in rent or mortgage payments.

He eats more food now he's at home full time too.

He sounds like a fine young man but don't destroy that by spoiling him.

I would or I would keep 20% of it and give it to him when the crisis is over.

Your son sounds like a thoroughly decent chap, well done.

I've heard it all now...

I don't charge mine any yet - was planning to start this year after he was made permanent in his job but then two weeks after he started back he was furloughed, with no certainty about what happens in the future, so I'm holding off the board but he's helping me in other ways like with the housework and garden while I'm working. I think in your case I would keep it as it is until things change.

Yes I would reduce it.

Thanks @Makeitgoaway

I like to think we've created that by not making life too easy for him, even though we had the means to do so. He's always had lots of love and support but we've tried not to give him everything on a plate, which is why I'm dithering now.

Thank you Aliya, it's very interesting. You and your husband are great - he's a dish too, nice for you.

Keep up the good work, you're helping everyone to keep safe and I hope you keep safe too.

Imagine charging your own child rent

He doesn’t pay rent on his wages, he pays rent for his living at the property, so no I wouldn’t reduce it, it’s a life lesson, in which he budgets his money.

People renting renting/mortgage don’t get reduced fees for an unforeseen rent to have to budget accordingly.

Imagine having an adult child who doesn't contribute. It's not rent. It covers (some of) the cost of his food and bills