Do I reduce DS's keep while he's on 80% pay?

[Makeitgoaway]

19yo. He has some savings, doesn't spend his full earnings anyway and of course not much to spend it on atm. He hasn't asked for a reduction. He doesn't make any "savings" by not working, he walks to work and they provide his lunch.

Which means he's eating more at home. He's also doing some odd jobs at home, some decorating and the heavy lifting in the garden.

If it makes a difference he's also registered an an NHS volunteer and has been very good about complying with all the restrictions, absolutely not one of those young people I keep hearing about who are still put and about.. I suppose I feel like he "deserves" something

He currently pays £50 pw which is about 20% of his usual income and he pays for his own phone, Netflix etc

We're actually better off ourselves. WFH on full pay and saving substantial commuting costs. Although our pension pot has been decimated and we had been hoping to retire fairly soon.

It's really not a crucial decision and I doubt you'll teach him anything it doesn't sound like he knows already! Reduce it or don't and then move on to more important things.

Last time people asked about working children paying keep, everyone was no unfair.
I wonder how many who have lost their wages will suddenly need their child's keep to pay bills.
The money save for giving back to the children may suddenly be needed by parents over the next 3 months.

At what point do they become an adult? If you don't ask them for anything when they start work and they accumulate the lifestyle that goes with their disposable income, when do you start? 21? 25? 30? 40? I have a friend with 4 very adult children at home (23 - 30) none of them contribute anything because they "can't afford it". They have no intention of leaving because they can't afford that either, despite lovely cars and holidays etc.

Oh my op! I was being sarcastic! Making a point if you will. I didn't think you would actually throw him on the streets LMAO!!

I would reduce the rent and I would calculate the total he has paid and give it to him as a lump some for a house deposit at a later date. Parents helping out young people to get on the housing market is often the only way they can realistically do it.

Yes ThatsWotSheSaid. We are in the fortunate position that it will all end up back with DC in one way or another anyway. In normal circumstances we spend a lot more on them than they contribute, pay if go we out for dinner, on holiday etc. I also treat him quite often.

This is very much about taking a token amount off him so he can see that living costs money and that all adults should expect to contribute. He doesn't have an issue at all, infact, when he started work he offered more and was proud to be able to pay it. I told him we'd only take the £50 on the condition he saved the difference

It seems to me you are getting very defensive now op! Look if you want to charge rent and how you raise your children is up to you and not for others to say you're right or wrong. However seeing as you asked and in light of his reduced pay I think you could give him a reduction.

At the moment I for one have more important things to worry about than this. Please god we all stay healthy and safe.

Quite crimson. If I didn't give it any thought, it would stay as is.

I was just musing, I'm not sure I (and certainly not he) really care what the answer is. It is interesting to see such polarized views though.

I'd probably leave it as it is tbh.

Your bills aren't reducing are they?

He's still got it good-£50 per week all in!

I wouldn't reduce it. It's covering what he eats and uses. No external landlord would reduce it for him. I'm sure in future if he needs your financial help you will give it where you can. Right now if he isn't struggling then keep it as is.

Yes

I'm just going to say whatever you do, your son sounds like a fabulous young man and you should be proud of him.

So many not complying with social distancing, he's volunteering and helping around the house. You see lots of posts on here where adult children don't do anything around the house!

Some people are so judgemental. I think what you do with your son prepares him for real life and gets him in a good mindset for the future.

Regards now I think the fact that he is spending more time at home eating more and no time out with friends means he has more free cash than normal. I wouldn't address it unless he brings it up.

If you continue to charge him the same amount it won’t be 20%, it will be more.

As for food, he may be eating more, but I think we probably all are

Reduce by 20%...surely.

If I were him, I'd be taking advantage of the three-month delay on evictions by private landlords...

Obviously, lighthearted. I would reduce it, but not drastically. 15%?

Yes of course you should reduce it.

He's on really good money for his age.

I would reduce it a bit but talk to him first. I don't charge mine keep but I am very fortunate that I don't need to. He's still getting a great deal.

To all the people saying that it's a life lesson and his mortgage/rent won't reduce in the real world:

• we are in the midst of a global pandemic which has turned life as we know it on its head. These are not normal 'real world' circumstances.

• I don't know about the UK, but in Ireland and many other countries emergency legislation has been brought in to protect people who lose their jobs in this crisis, like rent freezes and provision for mortgage reductions/holidays. Again, these are not normal times and drastic actions are being taken to deal with a crisis that was unimaginable a few months ago.

It's sounds like OP's son is a good person, he's giving back to society by volunteering for the NHS. I don't know why OP is grappling with the decision of whether to show him a bit of kindness in return, given the circumstances.

Reduce it.

I feel for your son.

‘I would or I would keep 20% of it and give it to him when the crisis is over’

+1

You shouldn't be charging him at all.