Frontline NHS and terrified

[Frigginella]

Anyone else? Just read about a 36 year old nurse in ITU with it, she had no other health conditions. Also a 39 social worker with no health conditions in the US died with it.
We don’t have the appropriate equipment. I’m expected to go into homes with a normal (not-filter) mask and apron and gloves only. In my own clothes that I will then get back into my car wearing and wear home.
And whilst I have these fears that I may die and leave my 2 young children without a Mum people are being so fucking irresponsible. My nurse neighbour is having friends over all the time, my other neighbour is off out all the time. When I drive to work (the only time I’m out the house) there’s so many people carrying on as normal. If this is you ... you could kill people like me who are being responsible but our job makes it impossible to protect ourselves.

Yep, I’m worried. Front line doctor working on the admissions ward for the corona and suspected corona patients. No FFP3 masks anymore, no surgical gown, no visors- only surgical mask, plastic gown and gloves. I wasn’t scared until last week; now we’re seeing some really sick patients. It’s the speed of deterioration that’s most frightening, from needing 2-4L oxygen to 15L in 30 minutes in a couple of cases. 3 junior doctors in their 30s in ITU at Northwick Park, as well as the 2 ENT Consultants in the Midlands and a Nurse in Walsall.
However, most patients, even amongst those admitted are getting better, but it doesn’t stop me being worried.

I'm in a really specialist front line AHP role which we still don't have proper guidance on PPE despite being extremely close to patients and make them cough regularly. Even if we're told we need PPE, there isn't any really other than usual masks, gloves and plastic aprons.

Each day we might get redeployed to do care on the ward. Tbh, I just don't want to. I love my specialism and am very good at it but I'm no good at care. I really really don't want to do things that they want us to do but I can't say anything because people will think that I think it's beneath me or I'm too precious but my blood runs cold at the thought of washing patients, dealing with bodily fluids (I have a real strong faeces phobia) and not knowing how to do basic care despite my high banding. Add that to the lack of testing and PPE and I just feel really unsafe.

My husband is asthmatic and I have a SN child at home that needs things to stay familiar. They are talking of us having to live in hotels or self isolate in one room in my house and I don't want to have to do that. Nothing about this virus is fair but I envy the people who are self isolating with their children.

I'm scared. Scared of the virus, scared of what I'm being asked to do, scared I'm going to get things wrong and cause harm, scared things will never go back to normal. I can't sleep properly and feel near to tears a lot and I know I'm not alone. I honestly don't think there will be enough workforce to cope as everyone will be signed off with stress.

I'm really worried too, I have a leaking heart valve and mild pulmonary hypertension. I'm terrified of I get it my lungs wont work. I don't want to die, I have two dc aged 6 and 8. I'm 36 and saw the same article on the news about the poor 36 year old nurse in ITU with young children too. I wake up in the night thinking about it. It's making me mad seeing people out and about like nothings wrong. I don't want to be ill because of other people's stupidity and selfishness! I wish I wanted to help but I don't. I want to lock myself away. I haven't been.. I have been attending all my shifts as usual.

From the bottom of my heart - THANK YOU to all of you in the NHS.

Tiredmum100, you are amazing. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I’m incensed and upset by the actions of the idiots in society.
We (dh, ds, dd and I) are tucked up at home.
You and your colleagues are incredible.
Thank you xxx

Not nhs but feel so sad reading this thread. My heart truly goes out to you and I hope after all of this you get the sincere gratitude you deserve.

Am feeling similar if it's any consolation. Am likely to be redeployed into Acute Care. Terrified of bringing the virus home to my DH & child. Scared my DD will be at heightened risk of contracting Covid due to being schooled with kids of other key workers. I know there is no paid leave so I can be home with her, I can't afford to take unpaid leave and wouldn't be allowed to at present.

I know that we are supposed to rise to the challenge and get stuck right in, but if we've not got enough PPE or enough beds or enough staff how the hell can we fight this and win?

I have incredible guilt because I know that my job is relatively safe unlike a lot of others. But at what cost to my family if I do get sick? I have an underlying respiratory problem that puts me at risk, while government advice is to self isolate for 12w our OHS advice is literally work until you're ill.

I feel incredibly selfish and self indulgent and guilty and worried all rolled up together. I've cried so much over the last week or so, OP please don't feel alone!

Another voice here. Small remote community hospital that normally has transport/transfer issues. Half a box of surgical masks in our ward and an email from stores saying that all other PPE is out of stock. I'm either going to be dealing with emergencies in my speciality that I can't get support or transport for, or seconded to looking after people I know in this small community, who are dying and won't be transferred due to age/illness/lack of transport. Just horrific.

Wasn't too bad today.
Very quiet in our department. We're only Doing suspected cancer referrals.
A very strange uneasy atmosphere in the hospital, a lot of worried staff and patients.

We do have the correct ppe in our department (as we're doing high risk of transmission procedures) but the rest of The hospital don't, unless it's a confirmed case.
So we've been told
If we're transferring a patient,, not to wear the proper masks, as it may get ward staffs backs up!!

There is talk of us being moved, but I don't think it'll happen until the wards are desperate, and I don't think we've hit the worst of it yet!!

One of our nurses has itu experience so she was sent there today with no say in the matter until further notice.

Our managers have insistrd if we are being moved, we're to go in 2s or 3s, so we're not out of our depth, and on our own, which is something I guess.

Matrons were coming round today, eyeing up our space for potentially turning our unit into covid ward!! 😭.

So yeah, pretty shit, but I do think it's gonna get worse before better.