Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

One key worker - send them?

127 replies

legalseagull · 22/03/2020 05:46

I have two toddlers that have been offered to keep their nursery place, two days a week, as I am a key worker. My husband is not a keyworker however he earns twice what I do. If he were to stop working to care for the children on those two days we couldn't pay the bills which would mean I would have to leave my key worker job to care for them - which is exactly why the government has said only one parent is required

(For clarity we need nursery on those two days because they are my day shifts when DH is also working. I am not able to change to other shifts and these days make up most of my earnings and are the days work REALLY needs me as they're so busy)

However I feel so stressed about it and can't decide what to do for the best. It could be months and months in which case we wouldn't financially survive. Also if we go on lockdown those two days will be the only social interaction and outside stimulation they get. BUT what if they get ill?????????

WWYD?

OP posts:
camsie · 22/03/2020 08:29

Definitely don't send them. Juggle WFH.

Badskinday · 22/03/2020 08:29

Honestly you need to try harder. My DB is currently working from home full tome and minding a 3 yo and a 2 yo. He is getting up at 4am so do tasks he needs to get done then he doing more during nap time and again in evening when his DW gets home. He is checking his emails in between playing with and entertaining the kids so he can respond to clients and get back to people. He is carrying his laptop around the house with him. Then working late into the eve. Why can’t your DH do this two days a week? Do his clients each require hours of phone conversations one on one ? This is an unprecedented time and everyone has to make do.

FritataPatate · 22/03/2020 08:34

I'm a 60 yo teacher who has volunteered to help at school in the understanding that the children are vulnerable or whose parents are vital keyworkers.
If it turns out I'm just providing a babysitting service, I will not be willing to risk my life.

pissedoffwithprojects · 22/03/2020 08:34

I agree with forty fifty.

My husband is a key worker. I'm not. It wouldn't occur to me to send my kids. Those spaces are needed for single parent key workers or where both parents are key workers. I just have to work out how to continue working with 2 small children around.

It seems like a lot of men seem to think that this can't possibly apply to them as their jobs are too important. They need a reality check. This isn't your problem. You need to go to work and your husband needs to work something out. Like the rest of us.

MaybeDoctor · 22/03/2020 08:34

I think that for two days he really could make it work by working from home. A slot in the morning, some more during any quiet time, then catch up in the evening. Also do extra hours on the other days.

LolaSmiles · 22/03/2020 08:39

If he can work from home, albeit with some disruption then he should.

Speaking generally, it's a little frustrating seeing lots of posters on here convinced whatever their DH does is far too big and important to have to juggle WFH and having children around.

DH is WFH and his managers have said they've been entertained by the occasional child noise/baby noise/dogs saying hello in conference calls. Everyone knows we are in the middle of a pandemic so it isn't business as usual.

OhClover · 22/03/2020 08:50

@legalseagull I totally sympathise. It isn’t easy at all and I think some people have been very harsh on you when you are clearly trying to juggle social responsibility and the need to ensure your family is ok.

I think a lot depends on the specifics of your job. Criminal barristers for example can stay home without too much difficulty in terms fo society (personal finances being different of course), as can a lot of solicitors. I say this because there are a reduced number of cases taking place and most will not need to stay home.

However, things like duty representation at the police station will still be needed and are in short supply.

I don’t think the justice system is as essential as health and I think you should stay home unless it is one of the roles which genuinely cannot be covered and would cause hardship. I’m not being mean; I’m a barrister and I’m staying at home (unpaid obviously) even though DH and I are both key workers and we were offered a place at nursery. He is a doctor and more needed than I am.

So stay at home if you can, but I know it’s not easy. Good luck Flowers

Fortyfifty · 22/03/2020 09:20

I do think it needs to be slowly put to people that the closing of schools is not to protect kids, it is to help stop the virus spreading. People's circle of contacts need to be as small as is possible. If too many kids are still in school, nursery, they are one of the inbetween links to potentially spread it further. If that's not working, schools will completely close and we'll all be in an even worse position as we'll lose keyworkers from the workforce.

Original poster
legalseagull · 22/03/2020 09:20

@OhClover I am a police station and magistrates court duty solicitor so am stills required in the police stations. Unfortunately the magistrates courts seem not to have got the message. There were 19 defendants squashed in to one small court waiting room on Thursday.

OP posts:
Fortyfifty · 22/03/2020 09:20

Clearly not slowly

Barbie222 · 22/03/2020 09:23

If your DP can work from home, he needs to. Toddler proof a room and explain to clients the situation. Most people in same boat. Your children will be at risk and putting others at risk too.

Barbie222 · 22/03/2020 09:24

Speaking generally, it's a little frustrating seeing lots of posters on here convinced whatever their DH does is far too big and important to have to juggle WFH and having children around.

Barbie222 · 22/03/2020 09:24
  • a good point!
Original poster
legalseagull · 22/03/2020 09:28

I don't think his job is too big or important. It's just vital to us to afford the bills and food. I suspect we will have to find a way to keep them home as much as we can but keep the nursery spaces for days the really can't be avoided

OP posts:
welshweasel · 22/03/2020 09:29

The evidence now is that children don’t seem to be badly affected but more importantly they don’t seem to spread it either. The largest group of asymptomatic vectors are those aged 20-29.

I would send them to nursery.

My 1 and 4 year olds will continue to go to nursery full time from tomorrow whilst I’ll be working every hour that I safely can (hospital consultant).

My husband will be at work but starting late and leaving early so that he can pick the kids up.

The other option is that I drop down to 50% and we share the childcare. That’s not something I can do in good faith right now. But we need my husband’s income.

Weekday28 · 22/03/2020 09:32

Its 2 days. So he needs to work sat and sun while you are at work.

This is what we are having to do. Unfortunately though we both work full time and now it means we will not have day together as a family until this is over. We are both key workers so we are going to have to send our children to school wed thurs and fri as there is no choice. I feel very guilty about school staff members though.

constantlyseekinghappiness · 22/03/2020 09:37

OP is does sound like your DH can work from home - but that’s it’s just inconvenient for him to do so.

Perhaps he can work in the morning and late at night to be able to care for the children during the day. I’m sure his clients will be understanding in allowing some leeway. He doesn’t HAVE to work during the day. It’s just convenient for him and his clients. They need to work round this.

I’m sure two days can be managed.

Butterflywings1 · 22/03/2020 09:38

@welshweasel do you have a link for this evidence?

welshweasel · 22/03/2020 09:44

Sorry I can’t get the actual link to work

One key worker - send them?
welshweasel · 22/03/2020 09:47

Data re asymptomatic cases in South Korea, where testing is widespread - huge numbers of asymptomatic 20-29 year olds

One key worker - send them?
icecreamscoops · 22/03/2020 09:47

The message is only send them if you absolutely have to. You're husband will have to work out a way to do it.

ElephantsAlltheWayDown · 22/03/2020 09:50

The government is providing childcare for key workers to keep them in work. You perform a valuable role, please please do not quit your job because you don't have childcare. Ignore the posters here who say otherwise.

Butterflywings1 · 22/03/2020 09:51

That is interesting reading as other reports I've read in the last few days have said over 2000 children in China tested positive- with 6% severe including death...

Such mixed statistics- although they do change daily currently.

Xiaoxiong · 22/03/2020 09:53

I wrote to all my clients and told them because DH will be teaching full-time and our kids are at home that I would be less available during the day, but that I'll be working in the evenings and if they email me I'll get back to them within 24 hours. Everyone has been incredibly understanding and supportive.

In practice, I spend the day with the kids with one eye on my phone/emails. Every so often I put on a video for them while I frantically do some work. When DH knocks off work, he does dinner, bath and bed while I work.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.