One key worker - send them?

[legalseagull]

I have two toddlers that have been offered to keep their nursery place, two days a week, as I am a key worker. My husband is not a keyworker however he earns twice what I do. If he were to stop working to care for the children on those two days we couldn't pay the bills which would mean I would have to leave my key worker job to care for them - which is exactly why the government has said only one parent is required

(For clarity we need nursery on those two days because they are my day shifts when DH is also working. I am not able to change to other shifts and these days make up most of my earnings and are the days work REALLY needs me as they're so busy)

However I feel so stressed about it and can't decide what to do for the best. It could be months and months in which case we wouldn't financially survive. Also if we go on lockdown those two days will be the only social interaction and outside stimulation they get. BUT what if they get ill?????????

WWYD?

Entirely depends how important your children are to you. If you want them, other children and the staff to get iii send them in. If you care abut them and take responsibility as a parent keep them at home.

I wouldn't send them. The Govt advice is very clear that if you can safely keep your children at home then you should. I wouldn't worry about social interaction/outside stimulation. Children are very resilient and adaptable. And being stuck at home for months is infinitely better than getting ill. the

I am assuming that your DH can work from home on those two days? This will require some flexibility when looking after two toddlers. Can he do his work before they wake and after they go to bed? Catch up at the weekend?

Can DH work from home on those 2 days? If so then he should stay at home with your children. If he can’t and you can drop money or use holiday leave then do so and keep them at home. If you really can’t afford to lose the money for him to stay at home then they will have to go. Even if you can keep them home for some of the time by doing just one day or shorter days then that is something

No need for that tone @ProperVexed although going from your name I guess you're an aggressive person in general. My kids are my everything - of course. Which is why I need to keep a roof over their heads and food in their stomachs.

It's confusing because the government has said that schools and nurseries "remain safe" DH can't really work from home with them running around as they're so full on (only 2 and 11 months) He needs to work during day hours to be available to his clients. If he could have the days off it would of course be perfect but we couldn't afford it, so I guess the question is - do I quit my key worker job

Children are known as super-spreaders for a reason. Any non so much as busted children (nursery teacher here). I am currently bed bound on day 7. I can’t get up without falling over, the dizziness and weakness is so bad! I follwed the guidance to the letter. My own children and DH are coming down with it now and i’m terrified for my parents.
If you can keep them home do so, get creative with time management. Don’t take the risk, as it won’t just impact you but everyone you and your children come into contact with.

They won't come in to contact with anyone other than nursery or DH and I. We've already told all family and friends we won't be seeing anyone

I would. Ignore the aggressive posters on mumsnet. Do what best for your family.

Dh and I are key workers according to the list but I wouldn’t dream of sending my children. I have to put my children and the safety of others first here. I already reduced my hours on Friday to only work the times dh is home. Since I’m not going to be paying for nursery or after school clubs then I won’t be that worse off.
The point is that if they can be safely cared for at home then that’s what you should focus on. You don’t want them going to mix with other children in nursery and potentially getting ill.

In terms of schools and nurseries remaining safe. Maintaining an early years environment is a gargantuan task at the best of times. Ensuring each and every toy/object is cleaned and virus free between each child, each and everyday is beyond capability, we would literally need to be cleaning non-stop and there would be no one to interact with the children.
They are far from safe in the current climate, just safer than a child left at home completely alone.

The only way to stop the spread is to not see or touch others. Nursery will not manage that obviously! @ProperVexed was blunt but unfortunately spoke the truth. People are dying now and more people will do over the coming months. Only you know if you can keep them at home or not. If you feel you can not afford to then look at alternatives such as the mortgage holiday concept if that applies to you, or reduce outgoings in other ways where possible. Remember in a few months times you will no longer needing to pay childcare as they will be funded so there will be more money then if you can borrow/use savings to top up lost earnings now

You have no choice really do you. Accept nursery and go to work

Thanks @twinnywinny14 . I'm really disheartened at the sheer volume of these types of posts. It is time to be blunt.

It's confusing because the government has said that schools and nurseries "remain safe”

I don’t know how they can say that. Any space full of small children is filthy at the best of times.
They aren’t ‘safe’ from the virus. No where that is full of people is.
If you can possibly not send them at all then don’t.

I wouldn't send them, I'm not sending mine. Infection rates are going to really ramp up over the coming weeks and children of nhs staff will almost certainly be carriers so I don't want mine mixing with lots of them.

Could you not send them for 2 weeks?

Could your dh WFH? I think we will see jobs stopping unless are essential to fighting covid19.

Amazed by these responses. You should send them in. They will likely catch CV anyway as you can't self isolate, we currently are on self isolation and kids are unwell, but it's OK as long as you don't have risk factors. You need to be very strict about self isolation outside of this. You are doing a great job and it's appreciated.

It really is time to be blunt here. Weigh up the risks of both, being honest with yourself.

The risk of one is that in the future you may have to downsize your house.

The risk of the other doesn't bear thinking about.

What kind of key worker are you? NHS?

Thank you everyone.

@ProperVexed I entirely agree with you, I know from friends that the system is being abused by parents. The guidelines are quite clear that school should be the last resort where without it a key worker would be unable to work.

do I quit my key worker job

If you are a highly trained key worker who will be involved in something that will save lives, then no.

If you are less skilled and can be replaced, then if I were you, I would.

For example: little bobby’s mum works on the checkout, she catches covid at work and gives it to bobby. Both are unsymptomatic at first so bobby is still in nursery. Bobby plays with a toy, that your youngest DC plays with.
Your youngest infects you, DH and your older DC. Again as seems to be the case with this virus you only realise you are ill once you have been shedding the virus for a good few days. You infect people at work, one of whom cares for her elderly mother, the other who has a child who is immunocompromised. Meanwhile your eldest infects the children in his room, the staff caring for their own families. Their families/parents may be the NHS workers who will be needed to save lives, yet they will be sick themselves putting pressure on the remaining few. Lives will be lost.
Or you could keep your children at home.

Have you thought through all options:
Both dropping a day if work? Dh working from home etc?

Are you an irreplaceable key worker ? ( ie professional like a medic?) Rather than working in a shop?

Can those posting on here perhaps think about all of the key workers who have no choice but to send their children to school/nursery over the next few weeks in order for the NHS, the emergency services and food shops to remain functioning? None of these people want to go to work at the moment and they certainly don't want to risk increasing their children's chances of getting it by sending them to childcare but they don't have a chance. Reading comments like "it depends how much you love your children" would be devastating for them.
Of course OP loves her children but she loves my children and your children none of whom she has ever met and for that she is carrying on in her job and considering sending her children to nursery.

While her DH is home