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Original poster

Is boyfriend being unreasonable?

31 replies

Tennis82 · 21/03/2020 14:15

I have a sort of long distance relationship with boyfriend (he lives about an hour away). I've been really sick for 3 weeks and in isolation. I had to be blue lighted to the hospital in the week. I've not been tested for coronavirus because they're only doing that for people they keep in hospital. He keeps messaging me to ask if he can come to my house tonight. He thinks it's "worth taking the risk" and that it's not fair that I should be "kept in isolation for weeks on end."

I told him that I'd not be comfortable with him coming and would be super guilty if he caught it. He thinks he'll be OK beause he has been "i've been walking around in supermarkets quite a lot as well so equally could have picked something up without knowing it." He also drove someone to the airport today so they could fly back home.

I have a lot of complex health problems along with a slightly lowered immune system, and have explained that even if I don't have coronavirus, him coming to see me, he might pass it to me even if he doesn't have symptoms right now due to the incubation process.

I've also explained that I've had a really bad night with coughing and being sick, I am exhausted.

I've told him no several times but do you think I am being unreasonable to tell him not to come to my house today?

OP posts:

CalmdownJanet · 21/03/2020 14:17

Of course yanbu, stick to your guns

AliBear90 · 21/03/2020 14:18

You’re doing the right thing. Can’t he FaceTime you? Have a meal “together” over FaceTime or watch the same movie at the same time over FaceTime or something so it feels a little like a date. I’d do the same in your circumstances

Standrewsschool · 21/03/2020 14:20

Put your health first

Whoareyoudududu · 21/03/2020 14:21

He sounds like an absolute idiot. Walking around the supermarket is not the same as purposely spending time with someone who has symptoms.

Sunflower20 · 21/03/2020 14:39

YANBU tell him to piss off, it's not about him. You don't want his germs, and if he gets it from you he's going to spread it around because he's the kind of idiot that would do that.

billy1966 · 21/03/2020 14:40

What a prat OP.

Do NOT allow him to visit.

73Sunglasslover · 21/03/2020 14:46

men are twice as likely to die from this as women I believe so YA definitely NBU

Shoxfordian · 21/03/2020 14:59

Yanbu at all
He should care about your health

Willow2017 · 21/03/2020 15:01

Hes an idiot. Completely clueless. Is he normally this selfish and vain?
He is prepared to carry on as usual puttjng himself at risk of being a carrier never mind having cv19 and he wants to bring it all to you? He actually admits he could be carrying it and still wants to come?

Selfish doesnt come close. Tbh i think its more because he wants to see you for his own ego not for altruistic reasons.

Tell him to piss off and if he continues to try to browbeat you tell him to piss off for good. He doesnt sound much of a catch.

Hope you are well again pdq.

Guiltypleasures001 · 21/03/2020 15:04

He's putting a potential shag over and above you and your health
Ide dump him, then he's free to be an arse to someone else

Hope you feel better soon op 💐

FinallyHere · 21/03/2020 15:15

i've been walking around in supermarkets quite a lot as well so equally could have picked something up without knowing it

And, in that case,he would be OK passing whatever he caught onto you?

In your place, I might just turn off whatever he is using to badger you and get some rest.

Ellie56 · 21/03/2020 15:18

No YANBU, He is a selfish ignorant twat.

JingsMahBucket · 21/03/2020 15:34

@Tennis82 does he want to come stay with you to take care of you and for the company (because you’re both lonely) or is it mainly because of sex? I was reading it for the first two reasons but it seems like other posters are reading it as just for sex.

Wereallsquare · 21/03/2020 15:52

What Guiltypleasures said.

Willow2017 · 21/03/2020 16:06

does he want to come stay with you to take care of you and for the company
How the feck can he take care of her if he has been out and about as normal and potentially infected?
And if a grown man puts his own wants before his seriously ill gf then what does that make him? If he cant be 'lonely' (and it doesnt sound like he is staying indoors for any reason) for a week or so that says a lot about him. They can talk on the phone, messages etc. He wont die of loneliness. Op could die of CV in her vulnerable condition. That really isnt "worth the risk" in anyone's book.
Anyone who says putting your ohs life at risk is "worth it" is a selfish waste of space.

Original poster

Tennis82 · 21/03/2020 16:28

It's a fairly new relationship since jan and he doesn't fully know about my condition. He's been really sweet but feel like he's really pressurising me to let him see me. I've just had a nap and woken up to a couple of messages that include "too much hygiene is a bad thing...so being a bit unhygienic might actually give you a better immune system in the long run." now I'm really not a clean freak, and I actually work in a hospital (not for a few weeks now though). I know why he wants to come round, despite me telling him I have zero energy at the moment. I am finding it difficult to breathe just going from my bed to my sofa. I suspect if he came round he would expect me to make dinner which I definitely am not well enough to do, it certainly wouldn't be a case of him looking after me.

I've not even seem my family for ages and yes I miss physical human contact but I also need to be selfish and think about me for a while.

OP posts:

Nononoandno · 21/03/2020 16:33

m.youtube.com/watch?v=tQD4B_hmdvo

MoltonSilver · 21/03/2020 16:34

This relationship is going nowhere fast. If anything, he should be coming by to leave food for you on your doorstep, not putting you under pressure to come over and expecting dinner. You deserve better.

TheTiaraManager · 21/03/2020 16:35

He is an idiot. Lock your door, if he has a key keep your key in the lock.

Get well soon and do not feel guilty for protecting your health & that of your community

Willow2017 · 21/03/2020 17:03

Too much hygiene is a bad thing...so being a bit unhygienic might actually give you a better immune system in the long run."

DINNER??? How can anyone expect an ill person to run after them. He isnt sweet he is immature, selfish and ignorant.

Run! What a freaking idiot. He is clueless and doesn't give a fuck about your health. Tell him.to go to hell and block him on everything.

JingsMahBucket · 21/03/2020 17:30

@Tennis82 ah, got it. Yeah, he’s pushing for sex. Tell him to get lost and the reason why.

Menora · 21/03/2020 17:41

He just wants a shag. Honestly I think this RS is not going to survive much longer as you need to give him the elbow ASAP

lilmishap · 21/03/2020 17:43

@Nononoandno that's sobering. It needs to be played everywhere

Nononoandno · 21/03/2020 18:24

@lilmishap
That’s what I thought, please share it with anyone not getting the reality of what’s happening

Original poster

Tennis82 · 21/03/2020 19:18

I had a chat with him and made him aware of exactly how dangerous it would be for me if he came round. He's finally understood and accepted he won't be able to see me at the moment.

OP posts:

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