If we are all well and symptom free, would it be acceptable to visit my 72 year old Mum on Sunday

[cherrytreeblossom]

To give her a card and spend some time with her before she begins isolation on Monday?

I notice that Government advice for care-homes hasn't been updated since Friday 13th.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-residential-care-supported-living-and-home-care-guidance
It doesn't match what was said on the main website yesterday 16/3 regarding social distancing... "What is the advice for visitors including those who are providing care for you?"
You should contact your regular social visitors such as friends and family to let them know that you are reducing social contacts and that they should not visit you during this time unless they are providing essential care for you. Essential care includes things like help with washing, dressing, or preparing meals.

A lot of people have the luxury of fit elderly parents who can isolate without help / younger and healthy parents for whom the restrictions don’t apply. I am going to need to see my parents regularly mothers day or not and they live with a sibling who still needs to go out to work. They are being strict on hygiene (all of us have given them our santizers and hand washes), and we practice social distancing in the house. Grandkids who go out to nursery/school aren’t allowed in the house. Not sure what else to do.

It's awful having to make that decision. I know the elderly have already had the benefit of a good number of years, but this has come at a time when they don't know how much time they've got. Over the last few months my Mum is talking in terms of having another couple of years, sounds like she could is isolated on her own for half of that! She lives on her own, only has us and a sister to talk to now.

I need to drop some food off for her. I think I'm going to suggest we take our own cups (so we're not infecting hers) and ask if we can sit outside (at a distance) on Friday. She is very good at talking and talking, so I'd be stood on the path for 30 mins, so may as well have a drink at the same time.

All the people thinking it's ok to go and see their elderly parents please listen up. You are not special, either as a nation, or as individuals. If 80% of people are going to get it, that means the chance are that at some point you will have it. Your govt is insane to not already be quarantining everyone. Every day it's getting bigger and bigger. In a matter of days it will explode in London in unthinkable ways. For god's sake, don't risk your parents' lives any further for a greetings card and your guilt. Reschedule mother's Day this year like everything else!!

It doesn’t seem real. My parents are in their 70s with no underlying conditions though my dad had cancer last year. I’ve told them we can’t see them. Three kids at school, I work in a school. I couldn’t bear if anything happened to my parents and we’d given them something. It just doesn’t seem real not to see them. They came in and walked out dog earlier and bloody took her to pets at home (I didn’t ask them to). But we will miss them. Especially the kids 😕 but I’d rather they were alive. Not sure how I’m going to get my husband not to use the gym.

@strawberrycreamsunday given you are also self isolating, once you have been in the house symptom free for two weeks, you could go to see to them without much risk at all. It's the carer who for sure goes near to many many more people in a day who is the real risk obviously.

NO!

If you think not seeing parents is bad, just wait for the isolation. That's when your life takes on a real post-apocalyptic hue. I'm on day 9. Its.....well, you'll see.

My mum is social distancing. I might ask her if she would fancy us going for a dog walk with her though, she has been doing that and chatting to neighbours from a distance.

@BMW6 I doubt she would be in receipt of stretched NHS resources at her age, she wouldn't be first in line anyway.
I don't agree with her actions. But if it's not her choice, whose is it? We do not have laws against people meeting other people, as far as I am aware.

I heard some one talk about early inheritance today in the supermarket, some people are so twisted.

Sadly my mum died so I don't have to worry about Mother's Day but I do have an elderly uncle. There is no way he'll be able to go 12 weeks without visitors and I've made the decision that, as he has capacity, if he wants the occasional visit then I'll do it. I certainly won't be offering to go (although either DH or I will if he needs to go anywhere) but if he really wants me to I will.

For all those 'but I'm in my 70's (or plus) and fit and healthy and don't drink or smoke' people' this is my take - if you get sick and need care you will be at the bottom of the pile and as time goes on and maybe even now you won't get care. Doesn't matter if you ran a marathan every year of your life, worked hard, paid taxes - decisions will need to be made and that 40 year old next to you will get priority. I'm absolutely not saying I agree with this but I do think this is what will happen.

I don’t get it though. My dad is 85 and is prepared to self isolate. But this means he can’t go to the supermarket to shop. There are no online slots, so I will have to shop for him. I am limiting social contact myself because I’m borderline high risk ( mild heart failure) so will only be going out to shop. I’m intending to deliver his shopping and have a six foot distant conversation when I do so. If either of us get ill we’ll have to think again. I don’t know what else I can do. He lives alone and is pretty lonely anyway - he will need some human interaction.

I think Im going to have the same issue. My parents were supposed to go on holiday tomorrow to Portugal for a week then when they came back they were going to drive down to France until June (they have a place there).

Now they are not going to France until at least May. I highly suspect my parents (both in their 70s and with other health issues) will expect us to visit them in April (we live over an hour away now) as we would have done should they not be away or no virus to stop us. Not looking forward to that fall out. When I last spoke to her over the weekend she scoffed at me when I suggested the schools might shut or I might work from home. I dont think they get it all.

No need to worry about fall outs in April about visits. It's clear you still don't get it at all. You are all about to go into isolation. I'm not scaremongering, the rest of Europe is already in quarantine. You won't be properly seeing anyone other than your immediate family and maybe a couple of colleagues for a long time, at least four weeks, but probably longer. It feels weird now, but in a few weeks it will be absolutely surreal.

No need to worry about fall outs in April about visits. It's clear you still don't get it at all

Do you realise how patronising that sounds?

No.

Who's 'we'?

The advice is not to take children. And it depends on what contact you have with other people.

You don't mind risking her life, then?

Pluckedpencil Tue 17-Mar-20 20:10:22
@strawberrycreamsunday given you are also self isolating, once you have been in the house symptom free for two weeks, you could go to see to them without much risk at all.

i dont understand this comment. please can you explain.
isn't that taking a risk.
the person self isolating for 14 days, then goes to see elderly because they are no longer a risk after the 14 days ?
doesn't that assume some kind of immunity after first exposure, which has not been proved, has it.
also cannot someone be a carrier of the disease without suffering from it themselves. even second time around ?
also how do we know the 14 day person even has had the virus, they may have been sick with something else. so they would still be as likely to contract the virus on day 15+, and carry it to elderly.
i am not scientific, so may have got this wrong. but i just feel with such high stakes, we must take a wide margin, and err on the side of caution.

Surely schools and hospitals are likely to be places where it will spread?
My son works in a large school and he and I are fairly resigned to him getting it and passing it to me.

If you and your sister work in schools and your OH works in a hospital, why would you risk it?

Coronavirus doesn't care that it's Mothers Day on Sunday !!

I had flu a couple of weeks ago and kept away from my dad for 3 weeks as I didn't want to risk him catching anything
We'll be seeing even less of him over the next however many weeks....

No

I was in a cafe today with my granddaughter and it was as busy as any other Tuesday.

there was a cafe owner on radio 4 this morning, he said that overnight, after Boris told people to avoid, his takings dropped 30 %.

So I doubt it realy was 'the same' but also, many of those people simply shouldn't be there.
MacDonalds announced yesterday that they are closing all eat in dining. Take away and drive through only.

Yes it is only on mn

Schools and hospitals are high risk workplaces for transmission... if you do see her, best to meet outside in the garden and don't stay for long.

It is really hard, I know.