If we are all well and symptom free, would it be acceptable to visit my 72 year old Mum on Sunday

[cherrytreeblossom]

To give her a card and spend some time with her before she begins isolation on Monday?

I am also visiting my mum to make sure she has everything she needs, set her up with Skype etc and generally make sure she is ok.

It's easy to say "don't go" but there's a balance to be struck.

Has there been something in the announcement today saying over 70s are in self isolation for 12 weeks? I thought it was only those with serious health conditions, and that over 70s, pregnant women and those with some health conditions e.g. diabetes were just to be more cautious with social contact etc? I missed the update and can't find anything on BBC or the Times live feed so apologies if it's been announced and I've just missed it

I'm having a similar debate with myself. Was planning to go to my mums Sunday, we usually do on a Sunday anyway and a bit of visiting to my brother and sil, DGM and my uncle as well.

On one hand, if over 70s are supposed to be isolating my DGM is 85 so well in that group and my uncle had a heart condition so do I even take that risk.

On the other hand, we live 40 miles away so can't pop round whenever and this could be the last time we see some of them for a while (and possibly at all if DGM or uncle do get it as their health is poor).

no

No

Of course not! It's just not worth the risk.

My mum is 97, has dementia and is in a care home. They've 'locked down' and we are no longer allowed to visit inside. If the weather is nice they'll bring them out and place us 6 ft apart and 'no contact'. But it's been raining. I finally went today and was allowed into the foyer to 'see' her from about 20 ft away. She doesn't know me so my visits don't really mean anything to her, but she still means the world to me.

It's just not worth endangering our elderly.

Until Boris puts the country on lockdown, conversations like this will be happening up and
Down the country. Some people will risk it, some won’t. My daughter was sent home from school yesterday with a temperature, she’s fine today
But as per the rules we are all at home for the next 14 days. Some of her classmates have family
Members showing symptoms but they are going to school because they don’t want to stay at home. Reasons like these are why it won’t work unless the rules are enforced. This isn’t a personal attack on anyone, just an opinion

The government has said as long as no one is displaying symptoms family visits are okay as long as you keep a 6 foot distance. Has this changed now?

Humm, maybe I am also doing the wrong thing also, we do MIL shopping every week, she is 80 and housebound. I work in a retail chemist and will therefore be working even if the coumtry goes on lockdown. DH is now working from home but I guess I shouldnt be going into her house given the high probabiltiy of me getting infected.
I was planning on seeing DM at the weekend but she is just recovering from a severe chest infection so already rethinking that one.

No. You know it’s a risk so why would you?

Could she come and stay with you to help her sanity?

The exact opposite of isolation though, moving into a family home full of people who go out to work/school.

Assuming she still has mental capacity why dont you ask her what she would prefer? Does she want to see you knowing its a risk, or does she prefer not to?

My DB and I plan to continue popping in on my 79yo DM until such times as we go into lockdown. We will maintain good hygiene and keep a decent distance between us. It is all about striking a balance at this point.

Actually I think that the person taking the decision about the visit should your Mum, not you.
Assuming she knows all the risk, it is up to her to decide what sort if risk she is willing to take vs what she will get out of seeing you.

People make decisions like this all the time. Smoking or not, drinking or not, taking the car, and yes going to see a relative.
Seeing someone close might be what is going to make ‘self isolation’ bearable for someone living in their own. It might be that staying wo seeing anyone for 14 days will be too much for her MH. It might be that actually she does need someone to check up on her. Etc etc

I really dont think that that sort if decision shouod be imposed from the outside seeing that the idea is to PROTECT people over 70 to catch the virus rather than ensuring they dint spread said disease....

No.
I’m in the heartbreaking situation where possibly both of my nonagenarian parents could die before I see them again. They’re both terribly frail and ill, they definitely won’t survive CV.
I’m in the high risk category so despite isolating myself I too may not make it if I catch it because my heart is badly damaged from contracting viral myocarditis.
My DPs don’t use social media, have paid carers visiting and my younger sister will do her best to keep an eye on them.

All frighteningly worrying.

My elderly relative has been out and about more this week than I have. I won't be visiting but she has certainly not curtailed social activities, so far anyway. Ultimately this is her choice.

DM is keen to see us - my quandary is wether I put foot down and say no ! Despite her insisting she'd like us to go.

Her choice to spread the virus around? Her choice to take up NHS resources when they are so overloaded?

So cherry if she catches it would she take it on the chin and stay at home to get better or die?

We're just trying to work out the finer details of my mother who lives alone being completely isolated for months

The attitude is just not necessary

She has curtailed her usual outings and visitors so is reducing her risk in that way

Her idea was to see us briefly on Sunday before settling in for the full isolation

I'm unsure hence posting:

As stated above, rules are you can visit if you have no symptoms. Having no visitors is far more likely to kill my DM than CV

@buttonmooooon that was Sunday, advice changed yesterday

@whatnametopick I knew some things had changed but can't find anything to say this had? My DM will be devastated as I am sure lots of others will

No

SIL lives next door to FIL 80 (diabetic) and MIL 79 (had cancer treatment). Still in and out of each other's houses like a revolving door.
Head in sand mentality.