AIBU to think a teenager can't be fully socially isolated?

[TheLittleDogLaughed]

My dd is 17, nearly 18 and at college. She has quite severe asthma, as do I and dh is 20 years older than me, in his mid-60s. He sees us all as an 'at risk' group and I do agree with him. I have told my daughter's college that she won't be going in for the time being, until we have better guidance. My dh wants us to completely isolate and for dd to not see her boyfriend who lives across London so has to use public transport to get to us. Most of her friends are a train ride away too. Given today's news that this might go on for 12 months, is it reasonable to expect her to stay at home, not see her boyfriend or her friends for all that time? How are you all dealing with this? Me and dh are at loggerheads and he is threatening to go away and stay with friends of his age who are prepared to fully isolate.

I thought you could not go out the house to buy food? That is what newspapers are all saying.

Alsohuman where does it say older people are being selfish? I don't think they are, I think it is absolutely awful for them. We have a neighbour in our block who is alone, in her 70s and we're doing what we can but oddly we're isolating and she isn't so far.

alloutoffucks this is my issue. It's confusing. What is social distancing compared to lock down?

You obviously are not supposed to go out for food. Otherwise why would volunteer groups be springing up to offer that?

Loads of people are @TheLittleDogLaughed. So much so that it’s refreshing to come across someone who isn’t.

"I have more concern for those who live alone and won’t see another person for their entire isolation period, especially if they are older and don’t have the internet much or visual calling apps."

I think this is a really important point - not just older people but say you're in your 20s/30s, live alone, now wfh, don't go out at evenings or weekends, phone contact with friends only, speak to the person in the supermarket and that's it. I think for some who are prone to mh difficulties it's not just a question of building resilience, or being selfish - it will be very very difficult for some people. The fact that there isn't an end date and the report has been circulating saying the measures may have to remain in place until a vaccine is in place which could be 18 months will make it much harder than if there was an end date (I know there can't possibly be!).

Such a good idea to set up the phone chat service; and also the advice to take things a day at a time - what we all need to do. Testing for previous infection or for existing infection may change things very quickly - I will end on an optimistic note!

And I have 2 teenagers. Of course they can be isolated in the house. I am more worried about the practicalities of this.

Same here. It really is not so difficult when there's an end point and when there's an education option in place. Fortunately dd is entertaining herself so far but she is really scared. Scared about her education and plans, scared for her friends, scared about us, scared about her grandmother in a care home, scared because none of us have a plan - we don't know what we can and can't do and we can see that getting food and medication and hospital treatment may well become a nightmare.

If your DD gets upset tell her at least her boyfriend isn't away for years fighting in the trenches and your house isn't being bombed. This is for a tiny fraction of her life and if she wants to survive this thing then she would be wise to adapt.

I'm in my 70s, disabled, have other health issues, childless, live alone and am self isolating. The nearest I've had to human contact this week is waving to my gardener through a locked patio door and my cleaner has been cancelled for the next few weeks. But I can and will survive this without complaint. I simply won't accept the alternative.

I have my computer, on which I can skype with friends, come on MN, play a MMORPG and chat to people on it.

Whatever your child is going through so will thousands of others and its best to get on with it because crying and moping will achieve absolutely nothing; it certainly won't make the virus go away.

SilverySurfer I’m sorry if you feel lonely or isolated. And I’m glad you have friends in contact.

However, asking a teen today to compare themselves to somebody in the war isn’t helpful. If it was that easy then obviously I’d do that. It is invalidating to say the old Monty Python “In my day ...” It isn’t their experience.

This is a situation that I have not experienced in my lifetime, let alone my dd. I am feeling anxious and I’m much older. Thinking about my dad in the war doesn’t help.

You’re right, thinking about something that happened 80 years ago won’t help. But perhaps thinking about the circumstances other kids her age are living under right now in other parts of the world might help her gain a bit of perspective.

I honestly believe that one of the positives that might come out of this is that as society we grow in resilience and that will be a very good thing for the generation currently in their teens. It will stand them in good stead for the rest of their lives.

She should fully self isolate. That said she's 17 and you have to let her make her own choices. What isn't right is that you are impacted by those choices. If she doesn't want to do it she needs to stay somewhere else for a while - or you do. She can do what she wants but has to abide by the house rules

She is. She’s sad but predominantly very scared. We all are now. Our London borough has a lot of cases now and looking like lockdown on Friday.

Radio 4 is saying lock down tonight.

But they’ve said schools are staying open until Friday ...

I sympathise with parents of teens because the government are not giving clear instructions. Teens will be thinking you're just over reacting etc it's not lock down like other countries.

But it's probably going to be and itll be tough shit she will be arrested for leaving if we end up like spain so she wont be able to argue.

And also, kids being off isnt uncommon. My niece and my best friend had a year off each for leukaemia. It's just never done en masse. With work being kept up and solid support at home grades can easily be kept up and since you'll have nothing to do and shes not a social media addict that's a positive. You might broaden your own knowledge on a subject studying with her.

I have symptoms and I'm stuck at home. I dont even have food or sanitary towels I'm using the douche every twenty minutes but I'm not going out to risk others.

Glaceon it has certainly been easier since the guidelines have firmed up. In fairness to dd she has not argued. She’s just feeling low but quite accepting.

I have lots of ideas of things to interest her and distract us all. I’m worried about daft stuff now like getting vitamin d as we’re in a flat ...

I assume taking kids to school in London will be permitted even though lockdown is tonight. It means you pick them up and go home though, rather than take them to soft play etc which would just make things worse.

That’s not lockdown then though ...

You're quite right and yours is a much better idea Alsohuman of course an 18 year old won't relate to the war. I was trying to say that this is a world situation and everyone will have to adapt, including OP's DD and trying to compare to a situation which is far worse.

Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, OP, I am not lonely.

Wow, we agree @SilverySurfer, that’s got to be a first!

@Alsohuman
Oh no - feels pulse - I'm self isolating for nothing, it must be the virus

I know! I thought the same myself!

Well at least there's one good outcome to all of this! :)