AIBU to think a teenager can't be fully socially isolated?

[TheLittleDogLaughed]

My dd is 17, nearly 18 and at college. She has quite severe asthma, as do I and dh is 20 years older than me, in his mid-60s. He sees us all as an 'at risk' group and I do agree with him. I have told my daughter's college that she won't be going in for the time being, until we have better guidance. My dh wants us to completely isolate and for dd to not see her boyfriend who lives across London so has to use public transport to get to us. Most of her friends are a train ride away too. Given today's news that this might go on for 12 months, is it reasonable to expect her to stay at home, not see her boyfriend or her friends for all that time? How are you all dealing with this? Me and dh are at loggerheads and he is threatening to go away and stay with friends of his age who are prepared to fully isolate.

At the moment, all her friends and her boyfriend are going to college and meeting up 'as normal.'

By the sounds of it, by next week that will change. But isn't the current issue that your DD and yourself are classed as "vulnerable"? It's not even about asking her to practice social distancing to protect some unknown people...it's literally a matter of protecting herself and your family from a potentially deadly virus.

I do hope that changes next week and the college work to make it possible for her to work from home.

Livingoffcoffee yes, exactly. I have explained to her how unwell we could all get if we don't do this. She's accepting it but honestly it is WAY harder in practise than it is in theory. We are a very active, social sort of family. I think we will have to think of some things to make it easier. She's spent today customising a denim jacket, eating and sleeping. Normally I think she'd be quite happy about that but I think the prospect of so many days at home is hard. I'm not saying we have an option or that this is worse than it was for Anne Franks or any of that, we don't have an option, but it is hard.

She has to realise she is in a vulnerable group, my sister has asthma so have seen how awful an asthma attack is, I can only guess. I would scare her by telling her to remember when she has had a bad attack and multiply it. DS is a teen and similar relationship time, he has totally accepted there needs to be some isolation coming and we have no one in a vulnerable group. His Aunt lives in Spain so has been messaging about the lockdown. This is the one time in my life our forward thinking liberal society needs to get over itself. Totalitarian states are awful and are the opposite to ours but we feel so secure in our freedoms some will ignore and take risks.

Valkadin we won't do that, take risks. I''m longing for hardcore advice and leadership from the government. No grey areas. It would help and it would kick-start colleges into ensuring that their kids don't put themselves at risk and / or miss out on their education.

Never thought I'd link to the Daily Mail but:www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8106205/Outrage-Boris-Johnson-FAILS-close-schools-despite-admitting-stem-spread-virus.html?ito=facebook_share_article-masthead&fbclid=IwAR1Dfh1ZvoDuqHERx446yje3_4Aj9ZxSay21ReqPRqKIg7ZwkNJzksj-NK8

Admittedly we aren't in a vulnerable group but this is what we are doing, which I think is probably ok (although I feel like I may have lost perspective, so any feedback welcome.

DD's boyfriend lives across the city. All his flat mates have gone home, uni has been cancelled so he is living alone and hasn't been going out. Dd lives only with me, also all classes cancelled, not been out. I've been driving dd to see bf at his flat and then picking her up again. I feel this is ok while they are both healthy.

Admittedly I am still at work, so probably the highest risk in the scenario!

Would something like this work in the short term?

Adviceforlife dd’s bf lives with a large family unfortunately so going there wouldn’t be a great idea. He has been asking if he can cycle over to see her, which will take him 2 hours each way but he’d avoid public transport I guess. He’s not isolated at home though. I don’t think it’s going to work.

One of the really weird things I’m finding so far (5 days now of being solidly at home) is how stressed and dysfunctional we all are - dh is mainly sleeping and grumbling, dd looks really unhappy and is just terrified of dying plus missing her bf. i’m trying to work but putting on a lot of music from my younger days to keep my spirits up. The thought of seeing no friends or family and getting little daylight and exercise is depressing.

Mine has said goodbye to her boyfriend for isolation perio

Paurie how did she take that?

Looking likely my OH will need to self isolate for 12 weeks as he is steroid dependent and at risk. He comes in co tact with public in his job. My dad is over 70 so will have to do the same. Not sure what this means for OH who surely won't be able to go and collect his daughter who lives nearby but in another town? My son probably wont be able to go to his dad's and see him.and his little brother as they live in a different part of our county, although no restrictions on them as of yet.
I'm convinced schools will be shutting very soon.

I think it’s difficult for most people right now, regardless of their age category.

I have more concern for those who live alone and won’t see another person for their entire isolation period, especially if they are older and don’t have the internet much or visual calling apps.

WinterCat I completely agree, must be very frightening for them. My mum would have been one but she’s in lock down in a care home at the moment. She couldn’t have coped with internet shopping though we could have done that for her. Imagine those who have no family, even remotely?

lotusbell they need to close schools and colleges and start testing people again so we actually know the extent of the spread. Without that there is no way of ending lockdown.

It is not just about getting the flu jab. If you need to self isolate for 12 weeks you will get contacted by the NHS.

@WinterCat organise something where you live then? That is happening in our area. Leaflet through the door asking for volunteers to phone people and asking if you want someone to phone to chat to. The really sad thing is that for very lonely people this will decrease their normal social isolation.

especially if they are older and don’t have the internet much or visual calling apps

You don’t need to see the other person for a conversation to be meaningful and comforting.

Our son is 17 and has asthma, vulnerable dad too. He isn’t overly happy about missing 12 weeks of his A level courses in person but understands the potential seriousness of the situation and is prepared to isolate with us and keep up as best he can electronically. I wish the College would just close so there was a level playing field, but it’s being as supportive as it can.

You must make yours understand how serious this is, whatever it takes. Is he aware that in the unlikely event he becomes very unwell, you will not be allowed to support him in ICU?

You need to give him perspective. This is a blip in an hopefully long life and we all have to do what’s needed. Suggest he watches posts on YouTube from youngsters trapped in Syria.
Our kids will come out of this more resilient than they went in, which is no bad thing.

Duchessofblandings I have a dd, not ds. She is doing A level course too but it’s art and design so relies a lot on tutor support and discussions. Nothing is set up online at all and my dd doesn’t even have the current project plan which was started on Monday.

I don’t get why the gov told office workers to work from home but not college kids ...

I get the flu vaccine for diabetes and hypertension but the press conference was as clear as mud on who this actually applies to

It was extremely clear that it applies to anyone who gets the flu vaccine?

It is not just about getting the flu jab. If you need to self isolate for 12 weeks you will get contacted by the NHS

Yeah, right.

No it was not clear that it applies to anyone who gets the flu vaccine. It said everyone who needs to self isolate will get contacted by the NHS. The flu vaccine is a guideline only of who this applies to.

@Tonyaster That is what they said.

@alloutoffucks already done and some responses received. We do already have a local online group but it’s those that don’t (rather than choose not to) have access to it that are potentially more vulnerable.

They are young and will bounce back they gave their whole lives ahead of them. They can't see it now but they will. It just feels crap but it will pass

"We are advising those who are at increased risk of severe illness from coronavirus (COVID-19) to be particularly stringent in following social distancing measures.
This group includes those who are:

aged 70 or older (regardless of medical conditions)
under 70 with an underlying health condition listed below (ie anyone instructed to get a flu jab as an adult each year on medical grounds):
chronic (long-term) respiratory diseases, such as asthma, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), emphysema or bronchitis
chronic heart disease, such as heart failure
chronic kidney disease
chronic liver disease, such as hepatitis
chronic neurological conditions, such as Parkinson’s disease, motor neurone disease, multiple sclerosis (MS), a learning disability or cerebral palsy
diabetes
problems with your spleen – for example, sickle cell disease or if you have had your spleen removed
a weakened immune system as the result of conditions such as HIV and AIDS, or medicines such as steroid tablets or chemotherapy
being seriously overweight (a body mass index (BMI) of 40 or above)
those who are pregnant
Note: there are some clinical conditions which put people at even higher risk of severe illness from COVID-19. If you are in this category, next week the NHS in England will directly contact you with advice the more stringent measures you should take in order to keep yourself and others safe. For now, you should rigorously follow the social distancing advice in full, outlined below"