AIBU to think a teenager can't be fully socially isolated?

[TheLittleDogLaughed]

My dd is 17, nearly 18 and at college. She has quite severe asthma, as do I and dh is 20 years older than me, in his mid-60s. He sees us all as an 'at risk' group and I do agree with him. I have told my daughter's college that she won't be going in for the time being, until we have better guidance. My dh wants us to completely isolate and for dd to not see her boyfriend who lives across London so has to use public transport to get to us. Most of her friends are a train ride away too. Given today's news that this might go on for 12 months, is it reasonable to expect her to stay at home, not see her boyfriend or her friends for all that time? How are you all dealing with this? Me and dh are at loggerheads and he is threatening to go away and stay with friends of his age who are prepared to fully isolate.

I wonder why it’s all ‘next week’? Why not do it all now? What is the value in waiting?

My apologies, TheLittleDogLaughed, an error, I suppose because I have a son in a similar situation. The argument is the same though. He wants to protect his dad as well as being well aware his is vulnerable too.

She needs to take this very seriously and you need to give her perspective and outline the possible consequences if she puts her social life ahead of the welfare of others.

I completely agree, the Colleges should be closed but they’re not so she needs to take personal responsibility, she’s not a little girl, and isolate completely.

It’s very simple. Do you love your husband and value his life? I sat watching my husband, unconscious and fitting for days on end as medical professionals told me to prepare for the worst. Miraculously, he survived but I’m not prepared to see that again. Though of course I wouldn’t be allowed to, the vulnerable are dying separated from their loved ones, alone and frightened.
Does your daughter’s social life really take precedence? She won’t die if she doesn’t see her boyfriend for 12 weeks, whereas your husband very well might if she does.

Oh
My
God

It’s HARD for everyone. There we go. Just DEAL with it.

I swear if I read one more post - I’m a runner, I’ve got a teenager, I’m getting married - I will lose my shit. Just FOLLOW THE FUCKING RULES.

Teenagers are all over social media etc they will be the LEAST isolated group of they have to stay home.

Abracad yes but some people get some sense of support by discussing things that are hard with others for whom it is also hard. There will always be degrees of difficulty but communicating can be helpful.

bemoreeverything not all teenagers are like that.

@TheLittleDogLaughed - in the nicest way, your DD will just need to adapt, the same as everyone else.

She can sign up for social media if she wants, she can use FaceTime, she can use Snapchat and Instagram and Skype.

We are extremely fortunate to have access to the internet and social media during times like this.

It's not really helpful to think about it going on for 12 months. We don't know if that's true and we can't do much about it if it is. Let's just get through today, tomorrow, this week, next week with as much grace and courage as we can muster!

not all teenagers are like that.

Oh for goodness sake. Of course not. Just as not all are like that.

I was talking generally and generally teenagers are the least socially isolated due to the digital era in which the live.

Bishybarnybee that’s how we’re playing it. Take it as it comes. Dh is coughing so I’m just feeling anxious this morning. Hard to isolate from the person you’re living with.

So anyone who gets a flu jab is not supposed to go out for 12 weeks? Is that really anyone? People who have asthma is an enormous group of people.

And yes teenagers are largely connected online. They will be fine. It is elderly people who live alone, don't need carers and don't have the internet like my neighbour who will suffer. He will see no one. He is already fairly isolated.

It's amazing how people can read stuff printed in black and white and still not believe that it applies to them.

@tonyaster I listened to his speech. He said serious health conditions, he did not say everyone with asthma has to stay indoors for 12 weeks. I have googled and can not find that advice. It is not that I think it does not apply to me, it is that I have not heard or read that anywhere else.

Everyone who has the flu jab must socially distance themselves.

Socially distance is different from stay inside the house for 3 months. I have already stopped going to pubs, cinemas, seeing friends. But I have went to the shops and went for walks.
This is saying stay inside the house for 3 months. Much more drastic than social distancing.

Firstly there's no particular indication of this lasting a year - nobody knows of course but it's a fast moving situation and the only positive to this is that means it will burn itself out quicker.

Secondly asthma comes in many severities so it's hard to have an across the board risk assessment - the guidelines are though is if you get a free flu job then you should consider yourself higher risk. Ultimately you have to decide if course but it's a good starting point

But you’re not discussing something hard OP. You’re not looking for strategies to make it easier. You’re looking for people to say that the rules don’t apply in your case. It’s truly pathetic.

@TheLittleDogLaughed I believe the idea of saying "by the weekend we need to take these steps" is to do with the assumptions about actual numbers of cases in the population of the UK at the moment. At the moment the incidence (say 1/1000 people?) is low enough that the average person going about their life is not at huge risk because we'd have to be pretty unlucky to bump into that 1 person in a thousand.

As that increases say to 1/500, 1/100, 1/20 etc, which it could do quite rapidly over just a few days, the risk to each of us bumping into the person with the virus in a crowd increases and so at some point it's really important vulnerable people aren't wandering about.

alloutoffucks I think I agree with you about not feeling things are clear. Is social distancing the same as lockdown?

A lot of the information keeps changing - the day I started this thread the 12 months talk had just hit the news.

Abracad thank you for telling me what I'm doing because I wasn't aware I ever once said that the rules don't apply in my case. No need for insults here either.

madrush BUT the government aren't testing people so we actually have no clear idea how the numbers of cases are growing. This is actively going against WHO guidelines. And not knowing how the virus is progressing adds to the anxiety of those who are isolating at home by giving absolutely no sign of improvement or worsening figures affected.

@thelittledoglaughed I hope it becomes clearer soon. Social distancing I can do. Because I can still go out and buy food and all of us can go outside somewhere quiet. But the idea of being locked in the house for 12 weeks with no guarantee of online delivery of food and no fresh air is panicking me.
So we have enough toilet roll for a few weeks. But you cannot order toilet roll online as shops are simply out of it. Will it be any better in 2 weeks time? And that is also with the knowledge that there are zero online delivery slots available in 2 weeks time anyway.

I have been feeling fairly laid back about social distancing. Feeling lonely, but its not awful. But now I am panicking about the practicalities.

But the idea of being locked in the house for 12 weeks with no guarantee of online delivery of food and no fresh air is panicking me.

But that's not what lockdown is.

You can still go out and buy food. You can still go out for a walk or take the dog out. You're not going to be locked in your home for 12 weeks with nothing to and no food or anything. Supermarkets and pharmacies will still be open.

But the idea of being locked in the house for 12 weeks with no guarantee of online delivery of food and no fresh air is panicking me

Yet that’s what older people are apparently being selfish about...

alloutoffucks agreed. And all the people saying just live with it haven't actually started the process of literally not leaving home with no end in sight. No friends, no family. In our case we're inner city London in a flat with no garden. Of course I know we have to do it, I'm not suggesting breaking rules, I'm just expressing the fact that it's difficult.