AIBU to think a teenager can't be fully socially isolated?

[TheLittleDogLaughed]

My dd is 17, nearly 18 and at college. She has quite severe asthma, as do I and dh is 20 years older than me, in his mid-60s. He sees us all as an 'at risk' group and I do agree with him. I have told my daughter's college that she won't be going in for the time being, until we have better guidance. My dh wants us to completely isolate and for dd to not see her boyfriend who lives across London so has to use public transport to get to us. Most of her friends are a train ride away too. Given today's news that this might go on for 12 months, is it reasonable to expect her to stay at home, not see her boyfriend or her friends for all that time? How are you all dealing with this? Me and dh are at loggerheads and he is threatening to go away and stay with friends of his age who are prepared to fully isolate.

we are socially distancing and none of us have any underlying health conditions.

Same.

Okay, thanks all. You are really helping.

I am finding it all very difficult, especially with the open-endedness of it. With limited testing, thanks Boris, how will we know when it's safe to emerge?

18yo Dd gets the flu jab for being coeliac. Which in my mind isn’t as high risk as asthma or diabetes. But I’m still saying I think we need to self isolate unless told different. She’s kicking off and saying she won’t.

I think it's clear as others have said that life is going to be very different and difficult for a long time.

I know there will be lots of people who will say we just have to do it and we do but I do think for some people it will actually be genuinely impossible. I think we will lose a lot of people through indirect as well as direct consequences of this

It could be a few weeks if everyone did it. That’s my point.

I’m following what is happening in China OP. First cases there were in November. 4 months ago. Things have levelled out there now. What was key to that is that they went into serious lockdown. So I’m trying to mirror that as much as possible here- despite U.K. govt not advising it (yet). I’m not taking my cues from U.K. govt but watching what has happened elsewhere in the world and how it has progressed. We really do need to do our own thinking here. BJ isn’t motivated by the health of individuals- economy gets his motor ticking- and yet even he is advising 12 weeks self isolation. What does that tell you?

VivaLaBeaver so what do you plan to do? My dd isn't kicking off as such but she's been crying a lot because she misses her boyfriend. True she can Skype etc. but she really loves to be with him. I know totally it's better that she's alive than dead; I'm just thinking that with the 'no end in sight' scenario, it's hard to reassure her. If it was genuinely 3 months then that would help at least.

OhCaptain yes. But Boris isn't ensuring that everyone will do it. So it could be a lot longer. Damn him!

It is really hard - I sympathise

@turkeyontheplate you’re all supposed to self isolate in your circumstances.

Tell her it’s 12 weeks- but also that so much can change so they may remove those guidelines in 4 week or 6 weeks if the situation is much improved. No-one can tell. We just have to do what we have to do. I keep reminding myself of all the other hardships going on around the world separate from corona virus. We’re definitely in a better position than many.

Consider the alternative if she catches the virus - and ask yourself the same question again. This is just a few weeks out of her life, not the end of it

JuanSheetIsPlenty true. I work with quite severely disabled people as one of my main day jobs and for them this is all terrifying. Dd's concerns pale in comparison. But at the same time I have to live with her and with no end in sight, this makes it hard. Why doesn't Boris close schools and colleges?

Her concerns are valid too. I didn’t mean to dismiss them. But they’re a small price to pay in the grand scheme of what’s going on.

@flyingspaghettimonster, I'd love to know the boardgames website if you have the details, please.

I think they are telling vulnerable people to self-isolate and prevent infection because in the event of their needing hospital treatment during the peak of this outbreak they WON’T be prioritized over healthy people of the same / similar age. I would be laying down the law to my dd to make her stay at home and would be making real plans as to how this will continue over 12 months.

By vulnerable I don’t mean pregnant women.

a lot of people are not going to follow the social-distancing recommendations.

I'm predicting fines & penalties soon.

It's giving totally mixed messages at the moment, I'm pretty much self-isolating whilst DD is at college as normal, so I think what's the point? It's just hit her I think, as her birthday plans to go clubbing have just been messed up. I don't feel that teens are really taking it seriously yet, but then that's not a surprise as their life is carrying on as normal pretty much.

It would have been hard when we were young, these days with bloody Skype and snapchat they are in touch 25hrs a day.

Me and DS are planning on lots of Space Hulk, Runequest, Kingmaker and WH40K if it comes down to it.

DW isn't so keen on this, but she loves painting miniatures, so maybe we'll get the Space Wolves army finished and start on the Adepta Sororitas.

TabbyStar I agree. The mixed messages don’t help. So whilst we’re keeping dd home, her boyfriend and all her friends are still in college and hanging out. It’s hard for her to accept our decision; she’s not rebelling, just sad. And a bit lost. She’s not mad on social media and prefers to see people. And there is no end in sight.

The mixed messaging is very hard, I think partly that is inevitable but also they could be clearer.

I wonder if you are all at as much risk as your DH fears. It might be worth getting some medical advice about you and DD. Especially since she is so young. I would certainly not using public transport though.

I think the only thing we can all do is take this day by day. Don't try to predict things. A leading infectious disease specialist said that if any expert tells you they know how this will play out, they are lying.

They are trying to step up testing and to develop a test to see if someone has already had it (and would then be very likely to have at least temporary immunity), that could be an escape route!

My 18yo is due to go out with friends for his birthday at the end of the week. At the moment he's saying "they're open so it must be OK for us to go". Very difficult to argue with, although I suspect that might have changed by Friday. I do feel for him though. I think it's all the small disappointments my DC are suffering that I'm finding it hardest to take ATM.