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Original poster

Dp voluntarily going to north italy! AIBU

162 replies

Worriedforhealth · 28/02/2020 09:28

Dp is booking a trip to north italy to watch a few sporting fixtures. Regularly has sporting holidays with his mates.
It is only a long weekend, but will be flying into and staying in the areas that have been affected by coronavirus.
He is booking it this weekend and going next weekend. Although advice is not to go to these areas of italy he said he isnt bothered and wont catch anything anyway.

AIBU to persuade him not to go? I know its his trip, im not going and nothing to do with me but think its a stupid move to still book and go!!
Said when he comes back he will not self isolate and will carry on as normal. Am i over reacting, is it not as bad as the media make out? He cant see my problem!

OP posts:
FourDecades · 09/03/2020 05:59

This isn't an instant LTB situation for me, but it would definitely change how l felt about him.

I think for someone to have such disregard for such a serious issue and to be so selfish shows an arrogant side that would bother me. As l found out with my XH this arrogant side increased as time went on to a point l actively disliked him.

As for the lack of hygiene.... how can you get intimate with someone that can't even wash their hands properly. I'm surprised you haven't had infections yourself like UTI's.

Cherrysherbet · 09/03/2020 06:01

He’s a selfish arse.

Aridane · 09/03/2020 06:03

My work now require pre-approval for personal travel to Italy, China etc and I would have to self-isolate for 14+ days on return

Is that lawful (barring special cases)?

I mean, spot in with business travel and / or requiring isolation after certain foreign travel - but to seek to legislate for personal life?

My organisation tried to do that - except when I asked whether they really were seeking to restrict personal travel in a way that was potentially disproportionate and discriminatory, they immediately changed their advice and said oh they meant that management were on hand to signpost is to FCO etc advice Hmm

TickleMyTitsTilFriday · 09/03/2020 06:10

Also, I have been for hospital appointments lately and upon arrival they ask if you have been to any of these infected countries and a list is produced. Then you would be promptly sent home,

PhoneTwattery · 09/03/2020 06:13

Before I saw your update I was going to say...

AIBU to persuade him not to go?

I doubt he’d listen.

MNHQ
GloriaMumsnet · 09/03/2020 09:23

Hi OP, we've moved this over to our Coronavirus topic!

Butterflyflower1234 · 09/03/2020 11:59

Your DH sounds utterly selfish!

If he had to go for work then understandable but to go to watch some sports - pathetic!

Depending where these are held, they might be cancelled so it'll be a wasted trip for him.

PasswordPatroller · 09/03/2020 22:18

Op have you seen that all public gatherings have been banned in Italy?

Notcontent · 09/03/2020 22:26

Well, the OP’s partner will now definitely be required to self isolate if and when he comes back from Italy....

Original poster
Worriedforhealth · 09/03/2020 22:29

He is back, made it home this morning with a slight change in flights. I want to say i told you so but hes just smug he got to go and get back before everywhere shut down. Still doesnt think its a big deal though. When will ge learn 🙄🙄

OP posts:
GloGirl · 09/03/2020 22:33

Is that a name change fail? If you report your post mumsnet can change it for you in the update @Worriedforhealth

UnholyStramash · 09/03/2020 22:42

Have you told him he’s an irresponsible git. Maybe he’ll go and find everything shut and cancelled. From your POV he needs to keep away from you for 2 weeks when he gets back.

UnholyStramash · 09/03/2020 22:43
  • and everyone else too obviously
Nancydrawn · 09/03/2020 22:55

He lacks empathy. My guess is that he won't learn until something happens to him specifically and personally.

Nearlyalmost50 · 09/03/2020 22:56

Government have just updated their advice: all passengers from Italy to observe 14 days self-isolation. What an utter utter twat.

CoronaVera · 10/03/2020 00:45

He'll most likely have it. I actually hope he gets very ill with it. That might make him think next time.

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/03/2020 00:53

Vera
Don’t be so ridiculous. He will infect dozens, who will then continue to do the same.

Gorse · 10/03/2020 01:20

How dare he treat the lives of people, both here and wherever he went (noticed he spread himself around a fair bit) in such a cavalier fashion? Sick of entitled twats who won't change their plans because "I want to."

CoronaVera · 10/03/2020 01:36

Whether I wish him ill or not doesn't change whether or not he's infected. Either he is or he isn't. He needs to learn a lesson at some point. Obviously I don't wish a huge outbreak based on his entitlement and stupidity. But if he is ill then that might serve him right.

Butterwhy · 10/03/2020 01:42

Selfish arse, I hope his work force him to have 2 weeks off seen as though he went voluntarily and for leisure.

Butterwhy · 10/03/2020 01:45

The sad thing is that for him even if he has it it probably won't be a big deal. It could be for someone he infects. I'm not pancking but I wish people would grasp the seriousness, it wouldn't hurt to change plans for a few months, someone could literally die because he just had to go watch sport.

1forAll74 · 10/03/2020 02:15

It's madness to go right now, they might not even let him in the Country if he manages to land there at all.

apricotnuts · 10/03/2020 03:08

@worriedforhealth, as the official UK govt advice is for anyone returning from Italy is to self isolate for two weeks even if they have no symptoms do you think he will? Or too selfish?

Original poster
Worriedforhealth · 10/03/2020 07:17

It has made me see him in a different light but he is so blaise about it that it makes me feel like im overreacting (which i do in the relationship a lot anyway)
Change of plans meant he only flew into Rome airport and stayed for a few hours then flew straight back out. More worried about the areas of Spain he went to and spent days there as it was the main bit of spain thats gotbit badly.
He has said he isnt self isolating despite what is advised and is going to work as normal. I dont want him ill but he does need to learn.
I asked last night if he now acknowledges its serious as the whole of Italy is closed and his response was no its still not that bad in most areas. They just have to do this because the initial lockdown of the 10/14 areas before was leaked too early people panicked amd drove away etc to other parts of the country and now they have no idea where everyone is.

OP posts:
CaffiSaliMali · 10/03/2020 07:41

He won't self-isolate despite the Government saying anyone returning to Britain from Italy needs to? Selfish cunt.

Let's hope if he does infect others that none of them die.

Please inform his manager where he has been. I have a colleague who went to a different country with a large number of cases recently, official advice to only self-isolate if displaying symptoms. Work told him to WFH for two weeks after return as a number of colleagues have underlying health issues, including cancer treatment. Colleague was happy to do this as they didn't want to infect others and have the illness, or worse, of someone on their conscience. Your DH will almost certainly have colleagues with underlying health issues, at least warn his manager so they can tell him not to come in!

I can't believe how selfish your husband is being.