I'm afraid if you're teaching your kids the above you're teaching them something that's unrealistic and not practical.
The first thing that must be understood about politics and, therefore, political settlements of conflicts is this:
"Politics is the art of the possible, the attainable — the art of the next best."
Otto von Bismarck
This is absolutely the foundation of conflict resolution itself. We are NOT called to have an absence of hate in our hearts or to love everyone in the world.
On the contrary, we are called to do the next best as Bismarck put it. That is to act as civilly and as respectfully as possible letting the strength of our arguments do the talking for ourselves.
Not our fists, feet or weapons.
Feeling hate for groups who do harm to others is not the actual problem. Rather the real problem is acting on feelings of hate, e.g., beating up or killing someone who have harmed yourself, a relative or friend.
Although the PIRA murdered a relative of mine and tried to murder my parents, my sibling and myself, we have never attempted to do likewise to them. It solves nothing. But we know where one of them lives to this day.
Our beliefs and ethics does NOT extend to carrying out acts of murder ourselves. We refused to allow PIRAs acts of murder to turn ourselves into people no better than them.
So, feeling hatred for them is not the problem. Acting on those feelings would be the problem.
Political settlements such as the Belfast Agreement is based on what Bismarck called "the art of the next best".
Several of the participants of the Belfast Agreement had hated the other side for decades. Even personally carried out murders or ordered others to do so. That hatred did NOT disappear at all during the negotiations!
It's bizarre to think it did. Even years after it we can still find examples of them hating the other, e.g., Gerry Adams' infamous "break the bustards!" comment.
But Republicans and Loyalists weren't killing each other. Instead they were killing members of their own communities. A reversal of the Troubles era.
I repeat, Feeling hate for groups who do harm to others is not the actual problem. Rather the real problem is acting on feelings of hate.
And:
"Politics is the art of the possible, the attainable — the art of the next best."
Otto von Bismarck
Your overly idealistic approach doesn't and hasn't resolved any conflict anywhere in the world because its not realistic and is too far removed from the reality of conflict to be feasible. 🤷♂️