30s TTC: Club BESHicana, drinks are free and we're hungry like the WOOFL! The MSDP continues...

[Scorpette]

Come on in, collect the Grolsch bottle tops for your DM shoes at the door

We're going all-out 80s for the continuation of the Mass Summer Diffment Project: John Hughes films playing back-to-back and on BESH FM, DJ ChoCho will be playing our all-time 80s faves, from New Romantics to Synth to Goth to Hair Metal to Pop and back again (no Fields of The Nephilim, mind). Our bartenders and waiters are Ducky from Pretty in Pink, Ralph Macchio (the Karate Kid) and Corey Haim (back from the dead especially for us) and unlike most of the real 80s, we actually get to booze!

Here's hoping the authentic 80s vibe will trick our bodies into thinking we've got the ovaries of teenagers!

(Not to mention tricking them into being super skinny and able to eat whatever we want and staying that way!)

There's plenty of Babycham and Ice Magic to pour over ice-cream in the Pit and Metal Mickey will bring them to the wretched at the click of a finger.

So whaddya waiting for? Slip on the ra-ra skirts, slap on the blue eyeliner and let's get winning those baybeez! Last one in the pool's a psycho hose beast!

no worries, you have better things to think about saltylady coherence is neither called for nor expected.

spriterider on the cash front thats a minor one really. I am really not a materialistic person and don't like waste so will prob be hitting the second hand shops and freecycle and hand me downs for a lot of baby stuff if i do get pg. its more the noia about MrB being made to bear the brunt of the financial burden when I have kind of talked him into this in the first place. He is really wonderful and so supportive of me in pretty much anything i want to do, that i sometimes worry i am railroading him into things without considering his feelings enough. perhaps i should talk to him about it a bit more.

re: screwed up world. one very dear elderly lady said to me when i was much younger and for some random reason the subject came up: was that people (like me) who worry about the state of the world, are exactly the kind of people who should have children, so we can instil our good values instead of just generations of selfish ones. pretty much what scorps said earlier. but i think thats a big burden for a little un to carry, plus they are so massively outnumbered by the chavspawn. having said that my 10yr old eco warrior niece makes me feel better on the subject. 6.5 of one and half a bakers dozen of the other!

i'm going to stop wittering on now and go and pretend i have a life.... hope u all have a lovely evening!

Lettucegirl you are me. No really. And I love the word "chavspawn".

Salty, sounds like Mr Salt is trying to stay all logical and factual, like all men would. Let/make him pamper you and treat you like a Queen this weekend and do whatever he can to somehow take your mind off things (impossible, I know) and feel okay. Be gentle to yourself

Lettuce, thanks for compliments on my family - ScorpsGran was a total ledge (as were/are other GPs). 4ft 9 and feisty as fuck

My Dad has mild Asperger's and OCD and my Mum is v. anxious. I have slight OCD and am v anxious too. They are the best parents in the bloody world and more than make up for those shortcomings. If we all thought up reasons why we wouldn't make good parents and didn't TTC cos of them, there'd be about 6 people alive in the whole world right now!

And thinking you shouldn't raise a sweet, thoughtful, groovy youngun because they'll be overwhelmed by chavspawn is the daftest argument yet! And anyway, how do you know your future kid wouldn't become a right chav themselves, despite your best efforts? Oooops, better not give you more reasons to talk yourself out of it all!

god, you think i haven't thought of that one? I live in liverpool FGS haha. dont worry tho black hooded tops with be BANNED in our house hold. Mind you they'll prob all be wearing Nike tinfoil space suits by then.

I know i am being daft, this is mostly just guff. it's certainly not going to stop trying to push one out.

My folks were/are both great parents despite turning out to be a bit disfunctional. Who would have thought they'd turn out to human beings with their own problems eh? shocker.

ariesbabe i think you might be right, seperated at birth?... are you also a video game widow? that would clinch it.

(see i couldnt stay away, besides DH is off playing something called Blur)

apologies for sudden silence and lack of support to all in need this week or even basic conversational skills (promise to be more on the ball next week) - have been told my job is 'potentially redundant' and am trying to get my head round what to do. (and the hysteroscopy and provera tablets have made no difference re. blood loss)

i did light some candles though, and hope my positive thoughts helped in some way, even if i didn't let you know i was doing it.

hello banger (see i'm messing with names like a seasoned BESH)

thats seriously not funny. is that all the info they have given you? are you in consultation or has in not got that far yet? whats the situ re other jobs in your field? really all you need.

Hi BESHers

Have been lurking for some time and posted an eon ago dithering etc but have finally jumped off the fence before xmas sooooo can I come back?

Is there a returning interview?

Salty I'm so sorry the news was inconclusive. It must hell being stuck in this limbo. Sending you positive vibes and will be lighting a candle for you and Twinks tonight.

Sausage roll - you poor love. Hope you've managed to find some time to sit down and work the options out? Mr O got told the same about a month ago and it rocked our world completely. It felt a whole lot better when we sat down and looked at finances etc. He also joined several job agencies and we got his CV up-to-date which felt like we were being proactive. The worst bit, which I think is similar to your situation, is that it's not definate. So, we're in limbo all summer. I did think it might have been better not to have known actually until it becomes a reality because all is does until then is make us worry when it might never happen.

The droid got me this morning . Despite knowing it was coming I have still had a meltdown on Mr O. I thought I was doing ok this month but clearly not. Worse still was that I saw yet another lady this morning who I met whilst on maternity leave who is now updiffed again and due in Oct. She was the second person in as many days to kindly ask when I would be providing a playmate for mini O. I felt like saying 'I don't freaking know, I'm clearly not as bloody fertile as you lot', but obviously didn't. I kept my stiff upper lip and mumbled somthing like 'ooh not yet', or something as trite. Mr O helpfully suggested that I may need counselling as I'm not coping with the arrival of the droid every month. He also suggested that I need to change my focus and get on with life. All very sensible advice yes, but practical and acheivable, no.

Apologies if that all sounds like I'm not grateful for mini O. I really am. I really don't want to be insensitive at all

Hi NeedChoos, welcome back. I don't know whether anyone's ever come up with a returning interview, but I guess everyone'll've forgotten what you said last time you should hunt out the questionnaire.

What a nightmare sausagedog. Do you have any idea how long till you'll know for definite?

Arse to droid orchid, it truly is an evil bastard. Sounds like Mr O's trying to be helpful. Is there any merit in the counselling suggestion? (Obviously I don't know you but Mr O does, so may be seeing a need that could helpfully be met by someone trained in such things). That sounds potentially more proactive than just trying to get on with life, which sounds so easy but isn't.

It's very quiet round here today, are you all out having fun. I've just been for a day out which might've been quite fun were it not for the pouring rain.....

No fun here, Occie, I promise.

Hello NeedChoos, seriously long time no see, how the hell are you? You originally joined us before we even had a questionnaire - almost exactly a year ago, in fact - I have helpfully stalked. Makes me feel slightly sick that I'm still here - I comfort myself that I'm in some awesome company.

NB: when I said "I comfort myself", I did NOT mean "I am wanking".

I know how Scorps mind works, so always worth clarifying .

Hello, choos! Welcome back! Was it the smell of many supportive candles that drew you back, like a moth to a flame?

But - Ghhhoodddd - reading that thread made me realise it is indeed a year since my Fertility Friend membership ran out. And I've been in this house nearly twelve months and there are still unpacked boxes in the study, 'temporary curtains' up, and zero progress on decoration. AND STILL NO BAY-BEE.

Do we have some kind of Twilight Zone Groundhog Area in the Palais? Have I stumbled into that? Maybe what we need is a 'Comfort Area', fnar, fnar. There is definitely a whipping post for grammatical slip-ups [stern face]

Thinking of you salty & hoping that good news isn't too far away now.

evening my little Beshies.

Lyra you do realise that by saying 'I'm not wanking' not once, but twice we all think you are definitely wanking? especially when combined with the word 'flagellates'

figster I don't know if there will be any good news, but I have definitely decided to go to EPU at end of next week. In the meantime I think a bit of zen positivity is in order. I have also decided that BOC is just a little slow on the uptake, and will be fine. Can't hurt to think that for a week rather than beating myself around my head with my badly behaved womb, now can it?

sausageroll that is shit!It's so stressful going through that sort of thing - makes your whole working environment feel all scratchy and tense.

Stupid Droid RareOrchid. Sorry about your menkul - do YOU think a professional menkuldoctor would help you?

Plz to continue with the lighting of candles - I reckon if we all grab hold of the corners of an enormous parachute, with all these candles we can probably make the UK take off! Perhaps more than just the Uk - is anyone abroad just now?

Lyra's wanking, Lyra's wanking...

Hello JimmyChoos, seeing as some of us don't know you, complete the questionnaire, complete it! I want to know EVERYTHING about you

Evening All!

I'm feeling a bit more in control of things and am now ensconcsed in the super comfy sofa having updated my CV and completed 3 job applications in case I am made redundant and need to submit them.

thank you salad & orchid & ocs - your questions have helped me get things straight in my head. I've had the first of three consultation meetings, and next week I will be told of the possible new structure and then I have to sell my skills, experience, why they should continue to employ me etc.
they'll let me know the following week if they'll continue down the redundancy route or if they would like me to apply for any new posts that the restructuring has created.

I'm sorry Mr Orchid is in the same situation, it's a horrible feeling, and even though they tell you that it's nothing to do with your performance, it's the role that's being considered, it just feels rubbish.

As for the droid, you can come and sit next to me and share my heat pads, painkillers, sofa and indoor picnic if you like

Lyra's wanking for comfort made me snort through my nose - classy, right?

Am I too late for Lyra's wanking? No matter, the hidden cameras I installed in her home will have picked it up

Her freaky solo bondage sessions are some of my best sellers you know

Lycra, you know exactly how my mind works cos it's how your's works too, ya filthy whore (pron hoo-er)

NeedChoos! I remember ye Sadly, there's far too many of us around from last year so it's a bittersweet welcome back - is fab to see you, but also not fab to see you, iykwim Try and dig out our BESHtionnaire (although being an Old Timer means you can bypass it if you want).

Pepperami, so and [angry[ about the job situation. just what you need right now, eh? Scraping the bottom of the barrel for a touch of a silver lining, trying to find a new job might take your mind of TTC woes. Erm, bit of a crap consolation that, soz. Is just shite. TYF was told his company was in jeopardy and we put off TTC until he got better news. Of course, if we knew it was going to take at least a year we wouldn't have put it off at all (Would've started Xmas 2008)

OurKid12 - We all know how it feels to be on the brunt of endless tactless comments but they never get easier to take. And as for Mr O's comment - he might be being a bit blunt or too much Captain Logic but he might have a point; I think most, if not all, of us here could do with a chat to someone professional about the menkul and The Fear. Men just don't 'get' the anguish we go through and it sounds like him suggesting you get a new focus is him really loving you and wanting you to be happier. Be gentle with yourself. Winning no. 2 is not a competition, even if smug bitches seem to want it to be

And Salty, you are last but defo not least. Is good to try and think positive about BOC just being a slow starter. Was just rereading one of me TTC books and it said that the older, ie BESHier you are, the more likely you are to bleed in early pregnancy and for BOC to not look as afvanced on early scans as perhaps it should (womb has turned into timid old lady reacting to change badly). All these candles attest to the fact that we're all hoping and believing that it's just that

it's Ok scorpion she's still at it

I have a picture in my head now of my womb sitting by the fire knitting and wearing slippers.....

I can see name confusion ahead: Bangers = SausageGirl AND Headbanger. What shall we do ?

And sipping from a hipflask Salts. I go to a choir which is full of old ladies who chomp on mints and swig from hipflasks. We're not old, no we're really not. You're a sprightly 35 year old like me.

I wonder if Lyra's stopped wanking yet....? (sorry. But you started it!)

Combine them and call it sausagehead...or girlbanger....

Perhaps we could sponsor her in some sort of wankathon... give the money to charideee?

"Girlbanger"

Talking of which (and I know that if she's lurking, she'll forgive me), does anyone know what became of Cockdodger?