30s TTC. It was the BESHt of times,it was the worst of times, it was the age of rummaging in gussets, drinking gin.....

[ginhag]

C'mon in BESHes to the beach bar...sprawl on comfy sofas while you wiggle your toes in the sand and watch a glorious sunset....and drink brightly coloured cocktails with sparklers in. Cos we're classy,innit.

I've got Adam and joe in as barmen, and we have a rather nice Cave of Gloom in the corner for those 'whyyyyyy meeeeeeee???' moments. We have a reggae sound system playing mob barley's greatest hits. It's a sunshine paradise!

Newcomers welcome,as long as they drag along a bucket of black humour and a vast amount of gin. And please note,some of us have been here so long we have forgotten the real world almost entirely.

Now,who's getting the next round in?

Muse It ain't over until the small, chubby robot bleeps.

Laurie & Aries Aw, bless you both. It isn't being done sensibly, per se. Am doing massive calorie restriction and too much exercise. At the moment, this is symptomatic of bloody-mindedness; I am an expert in cutting off my own nose to spite my face. Sort of - I haz had a healthy diet for the past fuck-knows how long, in order to be in the best shape possible to conceive. However, the powers-that-be have commanded me to lose weight, so I shall do so obsessively and in the ED mindset that I have been trying to escape. And it will all be THEIR fault.

However, I am aware of this thought process and it will calm down a bit in the next couple of weeks, promise! And I have nice counsellor lady who I have been seeing for a v long time, who knows all the issues and will be keeping an eye on me.

Sorry, that was an off-topic memememememe post.

Tag Sucks when friends reproduce. I try and hold on to the fact that a) I will enjoy their babies and b) if everyone else is doing it, then so can I. I think polyp passed my favourite book of encouragement on to scorps - you might want to ask her for it! Is the Julia Indochova (sp?) thing about her problems trying for a second child, and is a thing of uplifting cheery beauty.

Cass, so sorry to hear about your Grandma. Sending StewNan lots of love and lots more love to your family

Cam, you is sy-kick, cos just this very morn I was a-thinking of who I should send The Book to next Am v impressed by your totally balanced weight loss attitude and also about the 7lbs. I also need and want to lose weight but am pretty meh at the mo and can't be arsed to do owt about my flabber. Feel like - I'm depressed and babyfailing AND I can't eat anything nice? Fuck that! Know is ridiculous attitude but hmmmmph.

So sorry about your Nan, Stewpot . I'm going to join you on the shite half hour/Great British Repression plan.

Scorpy, replace the word "eat" with "drink" and you've described me, ie: "my dad is terminally ill and having constant medical crises, I can't sell my house, I can't get updiffed - so don't tell me I can't have a glass of wine every day. Plus a G&T at the weekend. And champagne on special occasions."

I tell myself that it's my only vice, and everyone is allowed one, right?

A glass of wine every day does not sound like much of a vice. Or is one of those "fits an entire bottle" glasses?

Poor blue fred, I think we need cheering up.

Damn, thought I'd posted previously about stewndumplings nan. Really sorry to hear that, it's an awful situation. Big hugs.

. Hugs and huge amounts of comedy violence all round. I think everyone needs it. Poor blue thread indeed.

And btw, DAPHNE'SCHICKENCASSEROLE am very glad you have reverted back to being Casserole. Never was keen on Tagine. If I'm honest.

Did Daphne from Neighbours make chicken casserole? Or was is lemon chicken? Or did I dream it?

Sometimes it's a small glass. Sometimes it's a medium glass. Sometimes it's two medium glasses. In total I reckon it's probably nearer to 20 units than 10. Which is less than I used to drink, but probably not ideal for updiffment. Although who really knows? The evidence is inconclusive. I vacillate between beating myself up about it, and telling myself there are worse things I could do .

Oh cass sorry to hear about your Nan. Dementia seems like such a cruel, cruel illness. My mum's neighbour has it & has only just gone into a home. That's upsetting enough, so to see your own Nan....

Aries I used to lurve Daphne in Neighbours & dreamt of being her when I grew up. Until she died. My mum also wanted to call me Daphne - my Nana said I'd be nicknamed Dafty, so that was the end of that.

In my fantasy life I'm tucking into a really cheesy lasagne with side portions of chips & garlic bread . Then carrot cake & a hooge milky coffee.

In RL its ham salad, yoghurt, apple & water Rubbish!!

In other entertaining noos, Fat Twat Lying Moonface (ie crazy work colleague) was apparently knocked off his bike this morning. He rang me whilst wating for an ambulance as he thought he'd broken his shoulder. He rang 1 hour later with update. In that time ambulance had arrived, he'd been to hospital, they diagnosed dislocated shoulder, re-set shoulder, went home & police charged driver. How's that for service of the great British Health & Police Service?

Cass sorry to hear about your Nan. Dementia is a horrible nasty illness. I can thoroughly recommend the book Drom mentioned, I really found it very uplifting. BTW Drom, well done on the weight loss, that is amazing! Can I ask how much more you want to lose?

Scorps how is the heid now? You've been quiet of late... How is the needling going?

Where is Gin lately? GIIIIIINNNNNNN! Where are yoooouuu? Are you ok luvver? I've brought in some pitchers of Pimms and raspberry cheesecake to tempt you out...

Muse I'm keeping everyfink crossed that the bleepy bastard stays away.

Lozzer the antics of your colleagues, especially FTLM, don't 'alf make me larf.

Polly tis all true!! (stalker alert) - didn't you have 12 wk scan this week? How did it go?

Blimey, do you have a spreadsheet Lozza? Or secret cameras like Scorps?! Yep, scan was yesterday and I was most surprised to see there is a RL actual baybee in there. I did actually cry with relief, having worked myself into a complete state... They measured the nuchal fold and said it was 'normal' but I won't know for sure until Thurs - I will get a phonecall by Thurs tea time if baybee is classed as downs high risk (1 in 150 chance of less). But if all ok, then I will just get a letter in about 10 days. I have put the scan pic on MN profile if you would like to admire it's tefal head baybee Jesus in utero. Oh, and they changed my EDD again - now 23 December. I fink christmas will be a very quiet 'at home' affair this year...

Excellent news on the 12 week scan, polyps! That means you and Jesus is all official-like - woo hoo!

Cassetag Dementia is awful. Huge sympathy from me.

Pol and Medee I have to lose another stone before they will give me the fertility drugs and start ICSI. Is all a long time away yet, and purely because no fucker checked my BMI at any stage of the process until the Monday before the info session. Apparently I am still very sad about this - weird, thought I was doing ok.

I punched seven shades of shit out of a punchbag in Fight Klub (gym class, not Brad Pitt, obv) last night. Today I have bruised and skinned knuckles. Does that mean I am officially a double-hard bastard, Gin?

I would really like to borrow that book, if ok. I need some uplifting at the moment. Shall I send you my details Scorpula ?

Pisces I didn't realise I'd gone back to Casserole. But fuckit, I never liked Tagine anyway either.

All fanks for kind words. Spent the morning doing visits to clients and bawling in car in between houses, only to get text from my Mum saying they'd managed to rouse Nan today and she had eaten half a bowl of porridge and had a cup of tea. So I've gone from mentally rejigging my diary for the next couple of days to get to see her to feeling... confused. And wrung out. Will see how she goes for rest of day.

Pollyinmypocket so pleased your scan went well.

Lolly your colleague is mental

Drom I have about a stone and a half to lose too. I would offer to race you but you iz clearly more double hard bastid than me so instead I'll limp along panting roughly in your wake...

Polly that's brilliant news! You shouldn't have waited for Lozza to out you

Fight Klub sounds great Camo - will probably do wonders for your mental health. I could do with some of that kick ass action myself. I used to box and kinda miss it.

Oh god, I am actually crying at PollyPoo's good news. Like proper tears. Of happiness obviously.

I am a massive cry baby just now. But it's so so so lovely.

Ooh, Lyra! What kind of boxing gloves should I buy, so that I am not bruised in class next week?

I am not surprised you're still pissed off camelina, I would still be fuming. Good luck with the weight loss.

I went for a 20 min run today. I have 4 weeks to train for that bloody 10k so I can try and get round. Was pleased to see I could run 20 mins without stopping. Now I need to get that up to something like an hour and 20. Aargle. Is it you that's doing it to Drom? We can have BESH meet!

Fanks all. Muse you has made me cry too now! Come y'ere ya softie

Sorry Lyra, I wasn't 'not telling' as such, just don't wanna be a bore and/or say summat stoopid or insensitive cos I heart you all. Also, some of you are going through massively difficult times at mo and it seems wrong to bounce around all happy happy joy joy. Actually I am not all happy happy joy joy anyway... I am still a menkul. Anywayz I will be menkulling in full effect until Thurs evening when I will either breathe a deep sigh of relief at lack of phonecall, or ramp up the menkulling to Def Con 1.

Oh and Muse? I reckon you are diffed... I did the crying/spotty thing too.

Cam another stone is not too bad... the way you are going you will have done that by next weekend. I likes the sound of Fight Klub - could we get one set up in the palace? With lovely fit semi-naked men to train us?

Humpster if you are hitting a punchbag then you need a mitt like this. Unfortunately women-specific gloves tend to come in fecking ridonkulous colours, but they do fit better. You also need wraps for inside the gloves.

Poll, you big spanner, we really needed some happy news to cheer up the thread Understand that you are still menkulling though - I would be zackly the same.

Baby blue and pink?

I know. What on earth is wrong with the traditional red.