30s TTC - We Started TTC When the LAST Coalition Government Was In Power

[Muser]

BESH is BACK for Spring. Come in, admire the cocktail bar stylings I have created for you. It's all lowlights and smooth sounds, and there's a rehearsal room in back for the GLEE practice.

The barman are beautiful, the Pit has been well stocked with beanbags and gin. So roll up all you 30-something BESHies who stopped counting cycles sometime in the last century, and grab a martini.

Christ, no. The alarm went off and I thought I was going to be sick and then my eyes were glued shut until about 6.30.

VAG, that's well spooky, cos I actually bought some of that off eBay last month, in preparation for hot weather but haven't used it yet. Getting your recommendation has put my mind at ease and I shall be splashing it on all over as soon as the farkin sun actually comes back (is cold and grey here). Cheers

Drom, does 5am actually exist? I didn't believe anything before 7am did until I got up yesterday at 6.15. I actually got less than 1 hour sleep due to nerves - does this make me a twat or a DBH worthy of Gin? And do you generally get up at 5am?

Interwebs at long freaking last!

Well. Ahem. That's the best news in a fair few weeks, is it not, AliceSpringsEternal? Since I heard the news some time ago I have stopped with the sentimental tears, but I shall no doubt summon them again at least twice before bedtime. Once again, the truth of the Way of the BESH is confirmed: hanging out with an embittered foul-mouthed gin-soaked bunch of cackling hags ensures diffment. Hoopla!

Scorps lovely, am so pleased that there was no nastiness. You look after your poorly tum. Milk it for all it's worth. I bloody would. I wouldn't do any heavy lifting for the next three years at least.

Well now. BESHmeet an unqualified success. It represented all that's best, brightest, bonniest and funniest in womankind. So there. I did feel a bit swimmy in court today but no-one noticed, especially as a portly gentleman with the sort of face that betokens a life spent buried to the jowls in the claret-bottle and the stilton-jar fell asleep and started snoring

Oh WOW!!! Well done alice!! I am over the moon at your news. BY THE POWER OF BESHSKULL!!!

Do you think you were diffed before you met up or do you think it happened during the course of the evening, like majick?

I think those mystic BESHes put a baybee in my tumtum last night...like the Bitches of Eastwick!

BITCHES OF EASTWICK!

I love 'By the power of BESHSKULL'! Are you ready to pop soon, Cunty?

Ta for the lurve, Bangles. Sadly I really can't lift anything and when I was at my parents', was reduced to sitting with a lunch tray on my knees bleating 'Dad? Dad? DAD?' for about 20 mins through my hurty throat as my deaf old Pops sat blithely doing crap in the study and my mum was gardening, cos I can't hold a tray AND get up at the same time [pathetic emoticon]

Is even hurting me to type. Master of The Puniverse!!! As literally everyone used to say, back in the day!

I want BESHtival so badly it hurts! It would be an AMAZEBALLS groovefest. When we have all won our baybees, we must have a mass summer meet-up and partay hardy (read: try and gossip and eat scotch eggs* whilst our various offspring run riot)

*I'm all class, baby!

PS My parents are going on TWO ultra-cool holidays this year - aren't I supposed to be the young, urbane jetsetter? Still, it is for their 40th anniv this Aug.

I am ready to pop scorps

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo free booze

what's that you say?

I believe that THIS may be what you're after, Cunty (and everyone else)...

Alice am super happy for you, that's fab news, and hopefully heralds lots more lines-on-stix!!!

om nom nom nom

Please can I beseech everyone to give their existing and future sprogs dance lessons? I just spent 10 mins needing the loo too weak to use my arms and stomach muscles to move my laptop off my lap and get off the sofa to go to the loo and instead, worked out a way to do it slooowly by using my feet/legs. Every minute of ballet practice was so fucking worth it.

I am a bit of a weirdo like this, tho' - often turn off tv and light switches, etc., with my toes. Don't judge me!

Please forgive me, am bored, lonely and mind is still rambly from sedation. Whaddaya mean I don't sound any different from normal?

God that was dull. Can I report my own post for offensive boredom?

Damn this cold. Am SO ILL. Is not fair.

Don't worry Scorps I too sometimes pick things up with my toes. I sometimes even try and write and draw, imagining that I've met with a terrible accident which has lost me my arms. I have also been known, less successfully, to try and play the piano using my toes.

Poor Muse with her stinky, snotty cold

Aries' mentalist amputee imaginings make me love her.

I'm only sayin'...

Aries, Boxing Helena wasn't meant to be an aspirational movie...

oh c'mon scorps, she's 'armless

BOOM BOOM!!!

Hey! You brought it up. I don't mean any 'arm.

Q. What happened when the man with no arms tried to masturbate?
A. He was stumped