30s TTC - We Started TTC When the LAST Coalition Government Was In Power

[Muser]

BESH is BACK for Spring. Come in, admire the cocktail bar stylings I have created for you. It's all lowlights and smooth sounds, and there's a rehearsal room in back for the GLEE practice.

The barman are beautiful, the Pit has been well stocked with beanbags and gin. So roll up all you 30-something BESHies who stopped counting cycles sometime in the last century, and grab a martini.

Yay for muse! count down to shaggoriffic shaggorama!

Chaps,thanks. And I know, am doing best etc etc. My disclaimer for all behaviour and drama queeniness yesterday was that it was the anniversary of the repeat erpc yesterday. And I was a bit sad and wobbly.

But you will be delighted to know that I am now free of crappy anniversaries for quite some time,the sun is shining and I have been dancing to mob barley. So all is good in ginland.

2 important things though. 1) have we actually made date n whereabouts of beshup clear to stewie? done woke up in a panic remembering she had mentioned wanting to come. AND 2) our long lost lemon sherbert besh kimdeal has been in hospital. Thought she was gonna have to be induced at 38 weeks,all quite scary...but she is ok (tho still mad as a fish of course) and they are letting her go to 40 weeks without inducing but watching her and Jesus Banana very closely.

By the way,droid still not here..but is on it's way fo'sho.

AND sorry if I infuriated anyone with my silly brain yesterday.

AND I haven't jellywrestled anyone for aaaaages so c'mon laydees,who's first???

AND scorps thanks for kind words re da biz.

Yay MewsCottage - good to have something to celebrate. The countdown to your immediate diffing begins

One more comment on the SAHM debate (sorry, is everyone sick of it already?) - it looks like I will have to be one, as I will get back to the UK at 6/7 months (inshallah) so really very unlikely to get a job at that point. While that's not necessarily a bad thing for us I am already fretting that my career is over, that a year plus out of employment will be put off future employers, that I've just started out in senior management but won't have enough experience to get back in again so will have to start again back down the ladder, that my sector will be affected by budget cuts and I'll never get another decent job, that I'll get looked down on by judgey peers who earn more/are more successful, and that it could turn me into a boring old cow with no interests of my own and an afternoon gin habit. Basically, whatever you do you will worry that it's not right for you/your family and that you 'should' be doing something else. But it's bollocks. We will all do the very best for our kids, will be fantastic mothers and they will grow up to be wonderful

Blimey mas, that's a lot of "ifs". Don't stress too much. You never know what's round the corner.

Sorry, is that advice?

Oh man I'm hungover. Barman some Irn Bru pls. We were at a wedding yesterday which was amazing fun and I drank lots and danced lots. I think I may be bruised from over enthusiastic strip the willowing.

And I woke up today to full on droid. Are we ready to begin the June Mass Diffment Project?

I ADORE strip the willow! But it always results in injury, because you only ever do it wasted.

Here's to mass June diffment. Though I'm still hoping for May. Time will tell...had quite a nice shag last night actually It's Day 16 in the Aries household - Ov Day! Though no twinginess, nothing eggy. Maybe it will be One Of Those Months. Am starting to think I do it only on one side, every other month. Which cuts my chances in half. Sigh. But I've had this wondering-aloud before, so I'll stop now.

Right, off to work. Am in shorts!

Aries, don't be so sure about thinking you're only Oving on one side every 2 months - as I have moaned on here far too many times, I only have Ov pains on the left and thought I was only Oving on the left (or even that I only had one ovary on the left! ) but when I had my pelvic ultrasound, it clearly showed I was Oving on the right. So I think we all unavoidably get hung up on small feelings and decide (wrongly) what they 'must' mean. Good work on the shagging - I got my secks finally yesterday and it was well worth the wait

Gotta do a big spring clean today - want everything lovely and pristine for my return tomorrow after the Lap.

Can't stop worrying that cos some fucktard Doc has written on my notes that all my investigations are for heavy periods - something I've never experienced - that that's what they'll be focussing on, not my fertility.

Muse, sounds like you had a good time! Once I've had the lap I'll be all over that mass June diffment project! Spring baybees ahoy!

Not that we actually have Spring anymore, mutter mutter. I must be the only person in Britain who hates the weather this hot. I prefer Spring and Autumn, which seemed to have stopped happening these last few years Summer is not kind to superpale women with thick, wavy hair and massive body hang-ups like myself...

PS Have never done strip(ping?) the willow and don't even know what it is but am now. I don't have loads of mates and they're all really 'alternative' (used to be but am much more calmed down and 'normal' now, ahem) and anti-marriage and stuff and I long for weddings to go to

Congrats on teh secks scorps and will be thinking of you tomorrow. What time do you go in? And what exactly is it they're looking for/at? ( for not keeping up, muchas sorry coz I should know....) As for fucktard docs, make sure you tell them beforehand what you're after. I reckon they're more likely to pay attention to you than to notes - but I know you ain't shy about saying a word or two so sure you will do so anyways

Afternoon all

Sorry not been on much this week... hurrah for the secks and the droid to Scorps and Muse

Fanks to Ginster for remembering me. Yes, would like to come, if welcome (won't flounce if not as know am still noob)...

Day 16 also here, Hi Aries Big fat 2nd line on ov stick today, fainter one (though not akershul faint, just not quite as dark as the control line) the day before. So hopefully an egg is making its merry way down and won't get held up by roadworks or passing accidents so won't be in too fed up and antisocial a mood by the time it gets down here. SWIed Days 12,13 and 15 so far. Will do it tonight and tomorrow too.

Oh! Had my smear Friday, have I told you this yet? The nurse (who was lovely) said, as she rummaged around up me fanjo trying to get the old specu-do-dah to slot into place: "Oh, you're taller up here than you look"!!!!

Taller, people. TALLER. What sort of a vaginal adjective is THAT?!?!?

That's not the same thing as a baggy fanny though, is it? Baggy is clearly wider, not taller. Right? Right. Thanks.

Oh, the SAHM thing. Well, I'm a SAHM, but have delilberately put ministew into pre school 2 afternoons a week so he can get a bit of a wider view on the world. So am clearly double shit . He loves it.

Scorpydoo am considering getting you a t-shirt printed with "My periods are FINE, you thick bastids" on it. What do you think? Any particular colours? Red is the obvious choice but is that too cute?

How lovely to think of me, Cass, but I've already knocked one up with 'CRAMPS NOT CLOTS!' emblazoned across it And thanks too to lovely MassiveWeeSmell, sending me good luck from across the continents

I have a list of notes prepared for before and after the lap - mainly based around the notion of drumming into their heads to forget any crap about heavy periods. Needles Lady was joking with me last week that they must see in their notes they'll be dealing with a 35+ woman who's not had kids yet and feel sick with dread at the barrage of questions they'll have to answer! She also said to threaten to hit them with a copy of Zita West if they try and fob me off!

I arrive at 7.30am, will be first in for the lap (or so they told me) at 8.30, so please set BESH vibes to full for me after 8am, please, my darling BESHettes. Mas, they're looking for endometriosis and anything generally untowards. But nowt connected to bastard heavy periods!

Still nervous about being under anaesthetic (have read too many of my Gran's crappy mags where people die freakishly having routine medical stuff done) but am starting to feel now like Joe Swanson, the Griffin's hyper-macho disabled neighbour in Family Guy: " C'MON! DO IT! BRING IT OOOOONNNNN!" Once I know what they've found or not found, then we'll really know where to go from here, so feel good.

For now!

And Cassiopeia, you do not have a bucket fanny. She obvy just meant a high-up cervix. They do talk some crap. A nurse once told me I had a 'pretty' cervix. Must be that tattoo of Cheryl Cole I had done on it

Not doing very well at getting away from the wee association am I?

Bugger me it's hot. GOOD LUCK for tomorrow Scorpy

Dashing in to smooch Scorps, because my magical smooch-saliva contains the essence of good luck and medical marvels. Yes, it does. I'm in demand in all the major truck-stops on the M4 . Will be finking of you and your fanjo all day tomorrow. I shall also be thinking of the fact it's lap day . No, but, for reals: hope it all goes wonderfully well, from the first soothing hand-squeeze of the handsome anaesthetist to the final cuppa.

Today was the first sandal-wearing day of 2010. Result? The soles of my feet peeling off, like paint from a badly plastered wall. I, too, do not entirely approve of summer. All that lying about in parks leads to moral turpitude, in my view.

PS additional smooches to Musical, and cheering from the sidelines for the upcoming sexathon.

PPS Yay! Cass to da BESHmeet!

A "pretty cervix" eh? You lucky, lucky bitch. Good luck for tomorrow - will be sending lots of vibes your way at 8am. I'm certain you won't die on the operating table by the way. Really!

Constellation (howzzat for lateral thinking?) - am thrilled that we are so in synch. We really must meet. Tho you are managing to shag more than me.

scorps.... I will be thinking the Good Thoughts for you tomorrow. I hope it is as stress free as possible,and really helpful,and positive,and,umm,stuff.

StuFrancis beshmeet is tomorrow! Am sorry this is now crap notice...it is in islington...do you have a 'not worried about putting on mn' type email address? If not,make one NOW (or in a minute) and tell me what it is on here and I will mail you with full details and the ginhag hotline no. Well I say full details,they are in fact vague as fuck.

Or you can CAT me if you have that power.

Oh FUCK IT mumsnet ate my post

it was great,obviously.

But in summary...

scorps luck n besh-love tomorrow. Hope it's as stress free as poss,and positive and helpful and helps you win a baybee.

stufrancis beshup is tomorrow! Sorry,been crap with short notice. Is in islington. If you have or can speedily set up a hotmail account or similar that you don't mind revealing to the mn massive,then post it here tonight and I will send details,and the ginhag hotline no. The details are not very detailed but would help you more than 'tomorrow,in islington...'

or,if you have CAT power then CAT me and I will reply that way.

Oh now HOW THE FUCK did that happen???

Erm, thanks, Aries? I'm so bloody para at the mo that that's made me think the Universe has picked up bad luck vibes. I might be a Militant Atheist at all other times, but give me a hint of anything nasty medical-wise and I'm as loony as a Medieval Peasant with OCD!

Shebangs, yes, I've heard all the truckers love you The thought of you hiding just to perv at my foofoo will be entirely comforting as I drift off into sedation Anyway, is all about the tum, not the front bum, so you'll be disappointed. Friday was my first sandal day of the year. Am freaked out cos I usually get freckles on my nose on 1st May every year (it's that precise!) and I don't have any this year. V odd. Gah, this bloody thigh/hip muscle freakiness is making my life a misery. Being ye crazy elastic girl of yore, I always sit naturally cross-legged and in other yogalicious positions ( ie am constantly legs akimbo like a cheap harlot) and with this muscle/ligament thing going on, I can't sit/lay/stand/move in about 70% of my normal ways. This is so dull I've bored myself now. Erm, moving on...

Big smooches right back at Lyra (who must be sick of hospitals and talk of em by now!) and Gin (am inspired to try and be a DHB like you) Weesmell (we don't judge you ).

Gah, have to take dressing gown 'n' slippers. I only have a massive fluffy winter gown - so perfect for the current weather! - and novelty Freudian slippers, ahem. Will take gown and wear Birkenstocks, that should do.

I was once complimented on the floppiness of my frog's legs.

Hurrah for droidula,
Muse!

I intend to return to work, cos I love my career, but am prepared for that to be completely turned on my head as who knows how we will react.

Sorry Scorps. Was trying to be lighthearted but it came out as flippant and unfeeling. I really am sending you good vibes. Good luck, brave BESH soldier.

Oh by the way, strip the willow? A barn dance, where the guy and gel hurl each other round in a double armed circle thing as they spin their way down a line of baying, usually pissed other barn dancers.