All new 30-something BESH buzwamcam action

[Muser]

Subscribe now for 24 hour buzwamcam footage! Sit back, relax, and admire these 30 something women go menkul during the 2WOOFL. Hot men and cold cocktails on tap.

I used to have conversation like this:

"Time for tea. Best wash your hands."

"But whhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyy.........."

"Well - whyever do you THINK?!"

"Oh ..... all right..."

I was sometimes nice though. I instigated the great Room-Tidying Races of 2007.

Well clearly you are Practically Perfect In Every Way. How's Bert?

In me carpet bag.

I used to feel guilty because I'm not one of them huggy, cuddly, hair-tousling types.

I'd probably be a rubbish Mum anyway. Demanding perfect grammar before the cord's cut, that sort of thing.

With every job to be done, there is an element of fun
You find the fun and SNAP the job's a game....

I have a friends whose six year old is remarkably intelligent and precise. The lovely sort of little boy who sits quietly reading his dinosaur books and asks interesting and baffling questions about physics. She flippantly makes out he's clearly autistic but I think he's perfect. You can talk grammar and punctuation with him to your heart's content.

He sounds awesome. I want him. If it weren't for the fact I have sex once every seventeen years, and have a womb resembling a pickled walnut, I feel certain I would have a son just like that.

spoonfulofsugarspoonfulofsugarspoonfulofsugar

Thilled for donttry and Baby Bay, she's sooo tiny and perfect. Two of my friends have had babes this week, one boy one girl .

Happy for you Muser, care to join me in a foilc acid cosmopolitan?

Secret unBESHy snuggles to VAG, Camel, Scorps - oh and anyone else who wants one.

I want to hear about gin and dressinggown's meety uppy, how is she doing?

Head, just accept IT'S STILL TOO EARLY!

In Lyraland:

1. Got a letter this morning postponing my gynae appointment by a month

1. Hoping Dad will be discharged this weekend (everything crossed please)

1. Him Outdoors and I are hoping to go to the sun for a sneaky week away - we are soooo in need of a hol and with HO being a teacher it's now or never (well, ages). I'm looking at a package to La Palma at the moment which leaves on Monday - very short notice but surely all I need is suncream and preseed?

1. Sorry if this is all garbled but am trying to get all my work done so can go away!

Oooooh La Palma Lyra - instant diffment, I reckon. Instant. Don't get muddled and squirt sunscreen up yer fanjo though.

Fingers in knots for your pa.

Birth story this page

Oh my God. I'm in awe. Well done you and glad it was all ok in the end. The poo-ing bit made me squirm!

Oooh, congratulations on the beautiful Bay-bee, dontry. First BESH offspring! It feels like a lot longer than a year since this place opened.

Aries I have no words of advice, only this ample bosom of sympathy; Dboyfriend and I are in the same self-employed Boat of Uncertainty, and have been for a long time. (Or we were, till he got a different job, and now we're in a different Boat of Logistic Nightmare). I've woken in the middle of the night in tears, and had those round-and-round arguments about whether it's simply impossible right now, or whether I'll look back in 20 years and realise I'd got everything wrong and it's Too Late. You will cope, if you get diffed. People do. What's meant for you, won't go by you, que sera sera, etc, etc.

I also think the media has a lot to answer for with the stream of 'my life was empty till I had a baby' bollocks from soap stars, etc. The reality is that some women are broody from an early age, and have motherhood fixed in their life plan; some women genuinely don't mind either way, but they all still bring up healthy, well-adjusted children.

headbanger peesticks are the work of the devil - spare yourself, good woman. If we still had to do it the old way and inject a rabbit with wee, or whatever they used to do, none of us would be testing until we couldn't actually see our own feet any more.

crossed fingers and paper cuts for everyone else.

Firstly, YAY for PapaLyra! Hope he'll be discharged this weekend and can return home, poor chap. Big hugs in return and a gentle nestle for your dear Pops

Secondly, WOW to Don'ttry's birth story. Am in awe of how in control and calm you were when it must've all been v scary and painful. And well done you for your poostravaganza - I think we should all have a BESH/PESH pact to do a mahusive crap when giving birth: if you can't royally shit yersen when in labour, when can you, eh, eh?

Thirdly, arseholes to you gits mocking my hypocrisy. I have a very narrow window of relative sanity - after droid and until about DPO5 - and you should encourage my normalcy, not mock it!

Fourthly, I second the 'monkfish of irony' as a brilliant phrase and one which should somehow form the title of the next fred.

HeadMistress, so sorry to hear of your spotting But I was very impressed (and ever so slightly turned on) by your tales of severity. Are you, in fact, Nanny McPhee?

Yo biatches.

muse just realised I hadn't wooped for ya. So WOOP! Thanks be to Lyra.

Fingers crossed for your dad Lyra. bet he's looking forward to being home!

don'ttry am impressed with your calm. And saw what you said about breastfeeding,it really does get easier I promise. I remember quite a few tears in the beginning (nothing like a small creature chomping on an already broken nipple to make ya sob!)

extremesitting is gert lush. Had a fab night. As is only to be expected in such lovely company

what the fuck is going on with my fucking immune system? Previous ailments just faded,now caught childminder's throat thing and IT HURTS!! Scary yellow spots all over back of throat. Bollocks

forgot everything else I was gonna say

God, there's nothing on TV BOR-RING.

Ginster'spasties I'm afraid that sounds like tonsillitis.

please do tell more about the handbag/ poo interface, ElScorpio

My piss-sticks informed me that I have gone from high to low without peaking

Aries I ain't got no tonsils.

OK, um....diphtheria? What else is down there? Just a generic throat infection thing maybe. That's my diagnostic career over.

I'm sure someone I know managed to have tonsilitis despite having no tonsils, which seemed decidedly odd to me. Have no idea who it was though, and may have imagined it entirely. Suspect the generic throat infection diagnosis is more likely to be right, hope it clears up soon whatever it is.

And I second Medee's request for more info on the poo-handbag encounter Scorps

Fistbumps to Lycracyclingshorts for being such a stoic BESH!

Medication'swhatyouneed...keep pissing on them sticks girlfriend...last week my sticks got darker from Monday to Weds, then lighter to invisible Thursday and Friday, then BLAM (you didn't see that coming, did you?)on Saturday I had the darkest line I have ever had, and before we knew it we were conceiving the anti-christ (posts passim), so keep going whatever you do!

I had my pre-op consultation today, and found out I've got to have a general-fucking-anaesthetic. Reader...I am scared , and they wont even let the boyf wait for me...I have got to call him when I wake up and get him to take me home in a cab - not allowed to use tube or owt.

So, it's the big push for the Choster's diffment this month Can we have a vigil?...get whittling those wooden spoons and rubbing ovaries widdershins...who's going to take the 'praytobaybeejebus' shift...refreshments and those foil capes that marathon runners get, will be provided.

chokehold, is scary. But I've always thought I'd way prefer general. 'Cos you get to get high on the NHS, plus, you don't have to lie there wondering exactly HOW effective local anaesthetic is going to be.

Re wooden spoons. I went to Camden to spend my barren sorrows away on Tuesday. There's a witch* there, selling all manner of little rock things in wooden bowls that do spells and shiz. I actually spent ten minutes reading it all seeing if there was one for fertitility. I then actually nearly bought one for 'new life and new beginnings.' Until I realised what I was doing, doubled over cackling like a madwoman, and went and bought half a pound of pick 'n' mix.

*A real one, all right? An ACTUAL witch. Yeah, straight up.

Yo Cho, I had both anaesthetics, and general is better I think... though I was puking like mad when I woke up. Maybe I should have not told you that. Well, if you puke don't be worried.

Shaking head at Head.

Now I've gone and done something really stupid today. I have taken Neurofen this morning, and now I am kicking myself. AAAGGGH. I am 2WOOLF-ing (What on earth is that short for anyway?) and Neurofen is meant to be really bad. Why is that, anyway?

I stink.

Two weeks of obsessive fucking lunacy.

Mount me duckie, I wouldn't worry about it now. I suspect working yourself into a stress will be more deleterious than a coupla nurofen. I think the damage with that stuff comes from habitual usage...

Good luck with your general Cho. I'm with bangers on that one - I think I'd prefer to be asleep knowing it won't hurt than awake wondering if it's going to run out and I'll start feeling everything. Was it you or someone else (sorry - I'm shite) who was on a megashagfest a week or so ago? You had the bow-legged at John Wayne comments. Well, good luck anyhow.
Fairyliquid I'm sure two Nurofen won't do anything untoward. I've heard you should avoid it during actual pregnancy and whilst ov-ing, but that's all. I'm equally ashamed if it helps because of I'm 2WOOLF-ing and we polished off a bottle of white between us over the last two nights

How's the diphtheria Gin?

Tomorrow DH and I officially start the Tourist Season. Cue six months of madness (hopefully) and loads a money made. Kerr-ching!

Morning...Mountyalwaysgetsherman I do like the idea of general because I would be completely out for the count. I had thought the option would be between local or sedation, and I was going to push for sedation simply because I am fucking sick of lying there trying to make polite conversation, whilst my internal dialogue is "Be gentle...is my fanjo normal/clean/hairy...what about my arse? Go easy ya bastards...etc etc?"

Never had a general before, so that's why I am a bit worried, but I know I will be fine!

Don't worry about neurofen now, but don't take it when diffed...can't remember what, but it can have a very specific effect on the foetus, but v. rare I think (not sure at which point the risk lies, but fairly certain it's not during the woofl.

Mmmm. Cheers Bangy Cue in: "how on earth will I ever be a responsiblle parent as I cannot even keep myself from a couple of neurofen or refuse food so I can loose weight to be healthier for potential baybee..." Self indulgence? Mua?

So your 2 weeks of doin' it at an end and waiting for a product now? Or did I misunderstand the two weeks?

Oh shit, googled Nurofen. It's shit. First time ever hoping for no BFP.