All new 30-something BESH buzwamcam action

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Subscribe now for 24 hour buzwamcam footage! Sit back, relax, and admire these 30 something women go menkul during the 2WOOFL. Hot men and cold cocktails on tap.

GAH! Hoisted by my own pet toad! (That's one for TLOG fans out there )

I shall slink off to my cell of shame...

PS Head, I didn't know that cos I don't live in That London. Now, if you'll excuse me, t'whippet needs feeding

Don't go no further than the South Bank, Scorps. It's all suburban architecture and gun crime past there...

Tee-hee! Lovin' all this norf/sahf lahndan talk!

I lived in the best bits, me - Brixton, Lewisham and 'Ackerney. Can't get better than that, m'dears.

PS - I am now tormenting myself with internet reviews of First Response, all saying it's a load of ballz and they got 4 false negatives and actually were pregnant with twins and similar. Sigh.

I am also doing this sort of thing:

"Darling! Darling! I have a heightened sense of smell! It's .... it's like having this amazing SUPERPOWER! I can sense this overwhelming scent of spring flowers - it's incredible and just so moving!"

"You have your face shoved in a rosebush. And a daffodil in each nostril."

But 'Ackney was best, right, Dickswerver?

Although. My West London pal cannot come here without wanting to commit wholescale murder. Too many girls in American Apparel leggings and backcombed hair, and their Mum's scarlet lipstick, ostentatiously working on their screenplay on a chi-chi chair outside a caff selling stinky cheese at fifty quid an ounce...

Head, I do the same thing when 2WOOFLing, but with my norks: "TYF! Look at my breasts! Don't you think they look really veiny?!" "Scorps, your skin is the colour of skimmed milk, every bit of you looks really veiny!" "Well... you smell of POO!" Aaaand flounce.

Step away from the piss-sticks, Headfuck. Why add to the menkul and disappointment? [Jebus wants me for a sunbeam emoticon]

PS I caught him lurking on AIBU t'other night when I had been in the loo and now when I ask him to do anything or I disagree with him, he yells 'YABU!' ('yabboo!') at me

I am v near you, Headbanger. I meant to put a smiley thing after my post about Dulwich, I'm sure it's a luverly place to live, have only been there once and that was ages ago.

Oh 'Ackney was by far the best, BangersandMash. Except that, the bit of Ackney that I graced with my presence was full of junkies (some with babies) and scary-goings-on at night.

I think I must have missed those caffs. Still, it was at least 10 years ago.

Well this is all very exciting. Despite me living the arse end of nowhere and practically dropping off the known atlas, I have a very close relative who lives very close to some of you who I visit often.

Update on babymaking chez Dodger:

1. Donor's partner a-ok with donor's jizz-offering.

1. Have been charting cycles for last 4 or 5 months to get used to idea of getting diffed and to say goodbye to potential of Mrs Dodger ever having biological child after long time of trying .

1. Booked jizz for Thursday in spite of man-flu (mine)

1. Booked week's holiday abroad from Saturday to 2WOOFL by a pool with no internet access, so no temptation to Google "sore ankle early pregnancy sign" or similar.

1. Absolutely bricking it in case I do get diffed.

1. Realised I may not be a proper BESH if have not been trying to get self updiffed for last few years.

1. Off to POAS (ovulation type).

baby in arms so cant type.

girl born last thursday - just out of hospital.

photo on profile. name bay amaryllis. in lovvvve.............

birth story dramatic - will post when time.

Congratulations donttrythisathome, hooray for a BESH baby, and here's to many more

Getting emotional in completely inappropriate places is par for the course for ttc right? Cos I managed to end up in tears in a meeting this afternoon for no good reason (it was vaguely understandable but certainly not a situation that should've provoked tears). Cue concern from other person in meeting who wanted to know what's up, is there anything she can do etc. Which was lovely, but I couldn't really sit there and say "I want to be pregnant and I'm not" as an explanation.

I'm half tempted to email her and explain but suspect that might put her in an awkward position with mutual boss type person, and I'm trying to stick to my not telling people about ttc. So now I'm left feeling stupid and wanting to hide away from the world. Great.

Don't - am so SO thrilled for you. And in awe of your incredible naming skills.

Cocky - fat hugs to you and I don't care that it's unBEHSHly. 'Tis a most trying and perplexing and confuzzled time altogether but am rooting for yer both.

Ox GAH. Yes to the 'is sobbing usual' biz. And a giant wince over the meeting weeping. And a punch on the arm, just because.

Donttry - Congratulations! She's gorge!

Ocarina - I did the same once at work. I just couldn't stop crying no matter what I did. After sobbing in front of my boss for a while, she sent me home, where I duly snotted all over t'missis. Some days are ok and some ain't. I guess we just gotta go with it sometimes. Here, have a cider, before it becomes too expensive.

Don'ttry - mega CONGRATS!!! Love the name and little Bay is sooooooo beautiful! Well done you and hope you are getting over the scary birth chaos (I stalked the fred you were on when I heard you'd given birth ). Hope the birth of the first BESH baybee spreads a little luck to all of us Take care

BTW, Surely it should've been Bay Bea?

Occie, sorry to hear of your worky tears But any normal person knows that we all have complex lives outside of work and sometimes they can't help leaking in. If she pushes and you don't want to tell the truth, just lie and say summat like it was the anniversary of your Granddad's death, or similar.

If it helps, I've spent the best part of a year pretending to have either hayfever or a cold (depending on the month) on public transport , because all that boring time to think just makes my mind start churning over the issue of potential childlessness...

Congrats donttry...you and SamCam are really showing the Daily Hate what a persistent BESH can achieve when she puts her mind to it...years of misspent youth drinking gin, 'enjoying' boys (and girls) and careers and that, and a baby on top! Come on girls...we can have it all!!

HairareyourAriels ...the fertility clinic do indeed provide materials for the chaps to enjoy into a pot. My clinic has had construction works going on for some time now, so the Boyf said these days he finds it hard to come without the sound of builders discussing the footy outside the bedroom window!

Still not woofling thanks very much...

Thanks, tis reassuring to know it's not just me. I don't think she'll push, and she is genuinely concerned which is nice, I just feel pretty stupid. I'm hating the not knowing - if I knew this was going to take a fixed amount of time I could deal with that, even if it was a long time. It's the knowing that this time next month I could be diffed, but equally that this time next year I could still be here waiting. Control freak, moi?

Cider sounds like the answer, thanks Cockadoodledoo. Am liking the WOOFLing on holiday idea, can we all do that every month? Really hope the jizz does its stuff.

I didn't even have a youth spent boozing, shagging or having a career - do I get triplets?

Oooh, get you, Cho, and yer man's swanky wank clinic. TYF had to do his sample in our bathroom after putting some bleach down the bog (not connected to the sample, it was just needed). You can't get more erotic than that!

Hello! Have been away since Sunday night, anything I should know?

Congrats don't she is loverleee!

Congrats don'ttry! have been thinking of you.

Am liking cho's name for Aries... oc sorry you feeling emotional luvver (I am a westcountry girl I am allowed to say that...although I actually am all BBC English in rl...well,ish) I do think it's normal,specially as so much is being kept bottled up rather than being talked about. So thank fuckety fuck for the beshies eh?

typing with 1 thumb as part of mani's poo team right now...

cock do you want a proper,non-gropey,non violent cuddle? You'll have to wait til this poo is sorted...

In fact,we haven't had a good bundle round here for aaaages!

MASS BESH BUUUNNNDLE!!!!!!!!

Oh God, no thanks Gin (though that's a lovely offer). In RL I am the least huggy person I know (prob because I am tres emotional and tend to cry easily). Although I have found that telling people this leads to more hugs than if I hadn't said anything at all!

I'll take a gentle punch in the eye, though.

(I've washed my hands )