The BESH 30's TTC: "Shall I get me rat out, Doctor?"

[ChoChoSan]

The Palace is open and the anti-freeze is flowing - Blue Bols 50p a shot! Two for one on Archers and orange, for the classy BESHies (the ones who keep their hats on whilst undergoing an internal examination).

We have Vampire Bill and Brian Cox in the Dungeon, and David Mitchell and Brian Eno tending the bar....

Ha ha Ead, so what's the on the menu for Valentine's Day? I think I am the only person in the world to get my hopes up each year, but generally get jack shit. I know it's deeply unfashionable in these Mumsnet parts, but I think boys tend to need a little reminder now and again. I mean, I have to do severe nagging just to get the dishwasher stacked. A dozen red roses would be a frigging miracle. And yes I really am that pathetically materialistic.

muse they do sound adorable. As does the whole set-up. I bet even though your brother & s-in-l are tauntingly happy they're also very charming and sweet and therefore impossible to dislike? GODDAMN!

honeymoooooooooooo I been reading up, like a looooooser. The following are historical sessy-time makers: rocket (banned in medieval monstaries, apparently!), white truffles, honey, chocolate, oysters. I forget what else. Asparagus is for losers: it's only 'cos it's faintly phallic (and then only if your fella has a very thin cock and curiously regularly-spaced green genital warts) and stinky piss only a turn-on for a very niche sector of the populace.

I must say the OM is a darling at V Day. The presentation of flowers is banned in our house as being unimaginative. Last year he made me a card with a collage on it of Things I Like. He's just adorable [sniff].

They are indeed ead. And also happy and in love in a normal way: i.e. perfectly prepared to take the piss out of each other and not just float around being winsome and puke-inducing. And their house is always the right side of "we've got 2 kids under 5, no we haven't hoovered".

Re: erotic food. Is that not what icecream is for? All those Haagen Daaz adverts where they eat it off each other's chest and it all looks a bit sticky and liable to mucky the sheets?

Acksherlly Moos, that's really nice. Funny how all those things are quite rare...gives me hope!

Poor auld fella would be aghast if I put a perfectly good pot of ice cream to such uses. Plus, he has remarkably sensitive skin for a burly great man ...

Moaning all,

Luvin the new fred title.
11 pages in... I feel like a fraud.
I've bin stalking lurking on my ipod/mowbli and running.
Haven't got compooter in work either which I think is rather inconsiderate of them considering my new addiction to other peoples lives MN whilst off sick.
MrG has also just bought feckin Chump Manager so I now have to prise the crap top out of his hands to get my proper fix
I is hoping he will buy me a shiny new one for my B'day next week or there be trouble ahead.

Muser really sorry, that is the shitest of the shite,thinking of you matey -x-

Bollicks to you that have been got by the Droids

Belated opening of dressing gowns and jiggling of bits to Ivy

Welcome Charlie Scorps and Polly Jeez!
I piss and moan about the fact raw peppers and mushrooms kick off my IBS.
I will shut up promptly.

Sorry if I appear shite and have missed out something of mamoth proportions, I'm crap.

Me, err, well I'm currently on D32 of a 27-28D cycle and no sign of tin twat and yes pissing on sticks, sticking sticks in piss and dismantling sticks have all been recent activities.
It is my first cycle after MMC so I know I'm being slightly menkul to get wound up.
I'm sure the last couple of times after ERPC's I started bang on maybe a day or so out but not 5
Sore boobs -check
Manic moods -check
Bizzare frequent Globby then EWCM -check.
Any ideas?

More POASing?

And no Sunday roast here today, thought it was an option. Instead, I am doing lamb shanks.

I am very much in the mood for a Sunday roast, but it's a store cupboard day today. So I think it will end up being "last of the veg box risotto".

I shall be cooking a slimmer's version of fish and chips and mushy peas. Having idiotically managed to gain bloody well half of the blubber I shed a while back, I'm panicking that if I DO win a baby I'll be one of those women that gain 5 stone during pregnancy and never loses it, and gives birth to a 10lb baybee with gestational diabetes, and winds up sitting obesely on a bench in the park unable to pick the poor blighter up 'cos I can't bend over my own belly

My GP told me it was good to be a bit on the porky side for conceptional purposes, so we shall we tucking into chicken and ham pie, mash and buttery cabbage. Followed by Tiramisu. Followed by a slightly bloated shag fest.

morning dahlinks (just!)

muse awwww, yr bro and sis in law sound luverly, so do the weans - you sound like a fab auntie.

ead lucky you re the val day prez, me bloko said last week 'by the way don't expect anyfing for v day i think its a load of bollocks'
NOW - i kinda think so too but STILL - a card? Would Be Nice

mrsconservatory def agree pee on stick again - still no droid here but i am refusing to do same as cannot face the inevitable NEGatory. however i can still encourage others!

med can i come to yours for lunch, lamb shanks, yummmmmm. no idea what to make - prob ssome form of roastage

honey giggled girlishly at yr man retreating to bed! pup sounds cute as.

i am still in me dressing gown - is this allowed?!

honey had to double post to say WOO WOO to yr GP! and yummmmm to the pie

Ok, droidage question. Last time with mc I got droidage pretty much straight away, once the POAS went negative. This time I have had very little spotting, it's all stopped now, but no sign of droidage.

I will ask when I go back to the clinic on Wednesday, but does anyone here know when I might expect droidage? Was the spotting maybe all there's going to be?

I didn't get anything for wedding anniversary in Dec so I have no chance of anything for valentines Day. When I said "let's not bother getting each other anything" I of course didn't mean that I should not get anything. I have since learnt that I should just demand what I want like a suprise weekend away, diamonds, very expensive bags etc etc. However, like Ead I predict it could be a eggy weekend next weekend so I will be perfectly happy with a couple of shags rather than material gifts.

Roast lamb for us later.

I've made chocolate and cherry cookies and we will rather lazily be having them for dinner

Sal, no symptoms is good imo, I had no symptoms the month I got diffed. In fact I was convinced I had pmt.

Also re excessp poundage I am also convinced that helped me. I put on about 6lbs in Itleee on hols mid sept and didn't lose them after, wom my BOC end nov.

Me,me,me, post...Can anyone please enlighten me on the FJ. WTF?
It's been near enough constant like ov-ish (clear,stretchy) for the last 3 weeks.
I'm on D32 of a regular 27D cycle.
First cycle after ERPC so not that unusual that I'm late.
Although the last few times I've had one Droid appeared bang on

I feel a bit of a div asking as I'm a proper grown up and really should know what my foof is up to but I'm hoping someone has had similar.
Shirley POAS D29&30, if diffed would say so?
Also doesn't FJ dry up before Droid?
I keep thinking that he's come but no .
Finkin' of calling The Ghost Busters for my pants if this continues.

Can't poas again till Tue as at a meeting all day tommorrow and I'm a minge bag, who, if I'm going to be chastised by a piece of plastic I'm not paying £9 for the pleasure.
So Home&Bargain it is.

I likey excess poundage being good for winning baybees.
Done that, put on half a stone,I'll just wait a bit.

FJ or FFJ : Fertile Fanny Juice.

Mine dries up completely before it goes on its monthly hols before the droidage shows up.

Have had a very nice Sunday roast sans Gin. Knew there was something missing.

Fingers xd for all those 2woofl and anticipating surfing the crimson, I hope its updiffment this month for ye all.

Still got huge appetite, classic sign of my PMT. No doubt a disappointing month, but will try and stay chipper, though as I am an impatient old caaaah 2 months feels like 2 years, yet its making the months fly by. Scary as shite. Meaning will be hitting me biffday before I know it. Balls.

Sorry Silver my bad, I know what it means I just don't know why it's happening to me daily for the last 3 weeks.
Maybe a wee TMI but I keep thinking eventual mechanical dwarfage but after manic gusset checking it's not, ya get ma drift?

I had a roast! Chicken,garlic potatoes and honey carrots. Nom,nom,nom
I didn't actually lift a finger!
Also had most of a bottle of red, and no fags today.
Go me!

I had fully intended to be virtuous as a hermit on a detox today. 'Twas all going swimmingly right through till after dinner, until watching a film about wine made us open the nice bottle in the fridge. And then we decided we'd better have some CHEESES to go with it. Then driodage sugar-rage kicked in and as I type some muffins are cooling on the kitchen side.

I'm joining fat fighters tomorrow and I'm not even joking

Sorry not to be more useful on the FFJ, Mrs G - mine deffo dries up before the droid: not at all sure what your minge is up to!

MrsG, if it's any 'help', last month, instead of the usual dryness, I got pant-droolage for about 4 days before the metal bastard arrived. Was excited, cos thought might be a weird sign of updiff, but to no avail. Sorry if this pisses on your chips.

And whilst peeps are discussing their flab, does anyone know what the advice is on losing weight when TTC? Could dieting be bad for fertility/affect fertility? I don't mean mental dieting, just sensible stuff (don't care if the extra poundage is meant to be good for TTC - it's certainly not good for my emotional wellbeing ).

Good morrow to ye ladies of the thread.

Scorps I think dieting and TTC ok so don't worry, the point doc was trying to make is that you should try and aim to eat properly and nutrionally therefore meaning that you're at the sensible end of your weight range. I guess I am using this as solid justification for breaking open the scotch eggs, which isn't exactly what he meant.

Anyhoo it's Monday and therefore a whole new diet opportunity. Not least because we've eaten most of the crap in the fridge and I've hidden the hobnobs from husband.

To my shame, husband has gone jogging. Or I should say gone to get a stitch. Ooh he's back... laptops away.

Morning ladeez,

Sorry for ignoring you over the weekend, my dressing gown won't lounge on its own, y'know.

Bit of a delayed reaction - I have told one RL friend about SWI. She is fab, but now wish I hadn't as she keeps asking me what's happening re appointments etc. Also feel really guilty that she knows & mum doesn't (although the family joke that mum is a white witch as she somehow knows EVERYTHING).

I'm on day 10 or something - honestly, I've stopped counting lately. I asked the boyf last night how far he was prepared to go in the SWI mallarkey - IVF? Re-mortgage the house for IVF? Adoption? He shouted at me for starting an indepth conversation when we'd just gone to bed. I do always do that, its my brain downloading.

I've started a diet every Mon this year. Have lost 7lb so far, but in fairness I think I put that much on over Xmas, so I'm back to square 1. Plan to give up chocs & sweets for lent - nothing to do with religion. My friend (who IS religious) gives it all up. I do it just to annoy her. Am frightened that my Assisted Reproduction Appointment will comment on my weight, & in front of the boyf.

Am rambling...............

Scorps, yar,I think dieting DIETING dieting (any of the idiotic cabbage soup/Atkins ballz) would be really bad - I'm just doing a rather brilliant one that basically goes 'Hey girls! Eat platefuls of amazing fresh food, go on! No seriously: have another! And then eat three mangoes! Just, you know, try not to eat half a pound of strong cheddar just before bed!' So not only to I lose loadsaweight (3 1/2 stone, w00t w00t) I also get clearer skin, sleep better, all that. So presumably good for any potential baybee.....

Laurie, I do the mental downloading at bedtime thing too, and get told off for it! Somehow it's OK for TH to do it though....

I think the someone knowing and forever asking thing is what I don't want, and I think I might also share the guilt about someone other than my Mum knowing, but then that's the case about a lot of things so maybe not so bad. It'd be cruel to tell her and ask her not to tell anyone else cos she then bursts with excitement until she's allowed to, and given the potential long wait to get to that point seems pretty mean.

But now I just sound like I'm trying to justify myself - gah.

The real challenge for giving things up for Lent would be to give up MN, facebook etc!