The BESH 30s TTC thread in the world EVER - 2010

[CUNextTuesday]

C'mon girls, this is the year. We will form a circle and concentrate hard on diffment.

Meanwhile, David and Jenson have popped the corks and are pouring out the Bellinis. Truckle of stilton anyone?

cam I'm really sorry luvver.was properly rooting for both you and scropey this month. Am joining cunty in the hugs n shiz,though tbh am still reeling at her response...am gonna check for fever n mad eyes just in case.

besh I can't look at the vid on my phone,will when I get a sec on pooter. Though I already know how gorgeous miniyou is.

Yeah suppose I should find out about private appt.am feeling a bit fucked off with the whole thing tbh,am also insanely knackered which always makes me an emotional wreck.stupid twat....

I suppose I could have pmt...anyone like to have a guess when I might get a droid visit? Or of course I could be miraculously pregnant,with a non-shit BOC,in the right fucking place,after one drunken shag...

now,I propose a round of 7 slammers each. 12 for scrope. yes I know you don't drink but I don't actually hit myself on the head with bricks in rl either. At least get virtually bladdered.

And in other news on Monday night I put my hand down cunty's top and fiddled with her bra Well,she asked me to!

gingin my droid took 35 days from babyfail date (9 weeks and a bit).. not too bad I fort... So might yours come soon? My usual cycle is about 29 days...

camelina bollocks to droid

Anyone seen poopoo?

HIC! Cheers, Gin I fuggin luv you guys

BTW, what do you mean you don't hit yourself on the head with bricks in RL? Is this where I've been going wrong?

I hate hate hate this country . There is so much wrong with it and the powers that be are just letting it go to shit and allowing its populace to go to hell in a bucket. This Cadbury business is the final straw. I've always been patriotic, but the way this place is adminstrated just makes me want to rent my clothes and beat my breast.

Nothing to do with the incumbent government either. To my mind the Tories would be worse because of their enthrallment with big business and their insistence that people should take care of themselves with minimum state intervention.

Gah! What sort of a world is this to bring a child into?

Scorps and Humps, really sorry about the shit news. I'm on CD26 so expect I'm not far behind you (can I be your cyclesistah?)

Genuinely no idea iggs. after the 2nd erpc last time I think it was only bout a month,but different situation I guess.

And this time tho the actual mc was Xmas,the full on tide from that didn't come til new year's eve (my body hates me,the cunt) with a week in between of bits of bleeding kinda like the week I had before the mc... So fuck knows even when I would count the days from!

I do know that my hcg levels were still 25 on 4th jan. Which is practically nothing...I dunnno if they have to be down to below 5 before you ovulate again or not...and I am fucking not looking at fucking google....

Pass me that brick scorp...

hmmm I counted from the day of the big bleed/ agony - although had been bleeding a bit before that (maybe for a week?). Fuck knows gin to be honest. I don't think I ovulated that month after either... Hope droid appears soon tho (or alternatively hope you are diffed ) cos quicker is back to normal the better I guess. Take a massive squeezy hug from me.

Sidling in wondering if I may join you? I adore gin, am 30ish, been trying to diff for fucking ages with no joy and HATE all the tweeness on other threads! (crosses fingers)

Yeah iggs I may not bother trying to think about it anymore! The agony bit happened at a diff time from big bleed...I think cos bleed at that point mostly internal...

Stupid thing is even if I am diffed (which I'm not) that not necc good thing as big risk of second ectopic if ya do stuff too early and also y'know,scarring and shiz.

Oh for fucks sake SHUT UP GIN

I am going to find some biscuits....

salander Have you found the entrance exam questions yet? If so, please submit reponses, being careful with any canvas accommodation-type reponses in light of scorp's current fragile state. Thank-you.

Sorry bout Driodages

Scorps can he steal one for me? Don't like the look of the ones round ahh way.

Gin go private, 2 months!
Thats inhumane to ask you to waste wait
Get on it.
Sell all your unwanted(?!) gold, if you're lucky and wait long enough someone on the telly box will help you.

Face book is taking the piss, mocking me. Some bastid random app just asked me how many kids do I think I will have.
I'm not in the fucking mood today!
Grrrrrrrrrrr.

Needing some violence please.

Tore a strip off poor MrG this am 5 mins before he walked out the door.
Don't get me wrong, he's been nothing but wonderful as always over the last few weeks but when he wandered into the kitchen, opened the bin and hovered the last scan pic we got saying "You don't want this, do you?" I somewhat flipped
It was not even 2 weeks ago.
I know he wanted it as much as me and it was the pic he'd asked the Consultant for, carried round in his wallet and showed anyone who stood still for long enough.
(I've kept the other one)
Bless 'is odd socks he had to leave me red eyed and has rang twice and sent texts saying he's a thoughtless tosspot and he's sorry.
THEN post came bringing letter from Hosp (also sent to Doc) explaining MC (in case I'd forgot!)Which is fine.... The bit that got me is the Consultant wrote " I have tried to persuade her not to give up as I still think that her next pregnancy could be successful"
This was our 6th MC!
WHAT!!!!!!!???????
I might try harder with the next one so not to disappoint her.

I wasn't aware we gave the impression we were giving up!

I'm getting on the Wii to twat shit and get it out of my system

Yeah salander some fuckwit of a newbie mentioned the C-word yesterday: HELL ENSUES.

May I suggest that anyone wanting reason to raise a grim smile on this grim day hies off the AIBU thread where someone's kicking off about a nanny. IT'S PRECIOUS.

THE BESHTEST

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')
   Of course. My blood is 99% pure Bombay Sapphire

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
   Very much a gold digger

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.
   Um i heard something about a cabbage patch? If not then I guess its the baybee jeesus

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.
   DEFINITELY a, where the fuck did all this 'babydust' wank come from anyway?

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.
   B. and I used to like the beepy little thing as well.

6. what colour are your walls?
   a soothing taupe

7. Number of pets?
   none. animals fear me.

8. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

simon cowell. i know, i know but there it is.

9. Lesbian crush?
   kate moss

10. What are your views on camping?

hideous hideous hideous.

11. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on? i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it. ii) Over 100 quid iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

d - i have an ebay AND an amazon account solely for this purpose

sal out of interest and in light of recent discussions, have you ever lived in either East London or Edinburgh or both?
(drinks are on you by the way )

MrsG - your 6th MC? Fucking hell, I'm so sorry. Have a gentle poke in the eye from me and we'll all put on pointy-toed boots for some communal cunt kicking of your consultant.

Salander - Simon Cowell? are you serious??!! That truly is shameful . But welcome anyways...

(lines up a row of shots for all)

lived in edinburgh for about 18 months - love it love it, so pretty. now live in a slightly less attractive place...

ead just clocked that thread, fucking hell

sorry for droids, all those afflicted, it is pish.

fate also pissing on me - i am working in a clinic next door to where the antenatal clinic is being held, all i can hear is pissing baby check monitors.

MrsG - 6 MCs? Puts my stoopid spotting woes into perspective. Drs can be so insensitive and thoughtless - have had one Dr I spoke to on phone about my TTC fears 'n' woes say 'Well, what do you expect if you leave it this late?'. Yeah, cheers for that. Saying she's tried to persuade you to keep TTC is so fucking cheeky - they always phrase things to make themselves sound like they're the ones who've made all the decisions and done everything right. If she had to write owt at all, she should've put summat like 'I believe a future pregnaancy will be successful and I support her decision to keep trying'. Has that re-write from Dr Scorpy helped at all? And men just don't have brains - that's what it's left to us clevvah wimminz to carry teh baybeez.

Welcome Salander. I think I can help you with your problems: you're going to have to put some weight on and sleep with a man to get pg. I suggest Blomkvist - he seems an okay sorta guy [massive Steig Larsson fan emoticon]

Too lazy late to go to gym now, even though I am grotesquely fat. I could be doing summat for mine and TYF's blog that we set up and yes! did for all else for, but can't be arsed. No spotting last time went to loo. Why do you mock me, lord?

PS Have stooped so low am watching a Jeremy Kyle repeat and there's a 39 yr old butane gas addict on, who;s been huffing for over 20 years and has still had two kids!

Twinks I know its AWFUL! but can't help it. hanging head in shame but thanks for the welcome

scorp a customer of mine said the put weight on thing to me at the trade show. It was such fun and just what I needed. I was also plagued by people who don't really know me asking when we are having/why we haven't had another,which was also pretty marvellous.

gaz fuck mate that's tough. Have a glasgae kiss frae me...

Scorps will you just POAS, NOW. Just do it, stop whingeing and do something about it. What have you got to lose, apart from a few quid? Nothing. So DO IT.

Don't make me angry, now.

I live in North London and have never even been to Edinburgh before (although I did fly to Glasgow airport once). I feel very left out.

ginhag I was just saying to my friend the other day how I find people asking me when I'm having another quite upsetting. But then I do ask people that myself sometimes, so I've got no leg to stand on.

Crapping Shits MrsG. How you're maintaining any good cheer at all is a mystery.

scorpette AND YOUR BLOG ADDRESS IS??????? Plus I wish I could drop by and show you my arse, that'd show you the meaning of grotesquely fat (added benefit of putting you off food for the next se'ennight).

Yeah, gin sorry about that

I saw that nanny thread and was . Do people like that really exist? "How dare my nanny be getting married when I'm about to have a baby! Why, either myself or my husband might actually have to interact with our own child - what is the world coming to?! Next thing you know, the scullery maid will want one day off a year and the right to refuse my husband when he tries to rape her stating droit de seigneur!"

Am jealous of all the Edinburgh chat. Have performed several time at the festival - am I in?

Must actually get dressed (what? WHAT?) and nip to Tesco before it's full of schoolkids. Cannot handle that.