The last of the GFJ members - no one gets left behind all will get a BFP

[C1NDY]

Hi All,

New thread, a new beginning...

Daisy you have no control at all, just relax and it will happen.... also, a line is a line so you may already have implanted! Test again on monday... I have everything crossed for you!!

Oh C1NDY - if only I wasn't such a control freak !

How are you doing? How are you feeling? Very pg? Or blooming? Or both!

I've had 5 BFP's in the last 14 months, and none of them have stuck around. All have been chemical pgs or early m/cs at or before 6 weeks.

I think it's because of the mass they've found inside me which is causing the wall of my uterus to be bulgy - but I'm hoping, with everything crossed, that this one has managed to miss the bulge and find a safe and happy home somewhere else!

I've also had a telephone conversation with my consultant today. Although I don't have masses of information, I have found out that I do have a large fibroid, but that it is in a less worrying position than they initially thought.

It is actually in the wall of my uterus, rather than inside it (which was apparently the worst of the options). The consultant did say that in view of it's position it shouldn't be causing problems with conception, but that sometimes it can.

About as clear as mud.

But - at least it's the better of the possibilities. I'm seeing her for an appointment a week on Monday, so will be having a meeting with DH to plan an agenda for it. I am so not coming out of there with more questions than I had when I went in.

Okkay, first off whoop whoop - a bfp is a bfp - congrats. Everything crossed for you...

Second off, finding a fibroid means they can now work on getting rid of it so that too is a good thing.

And third off, write your questions down and go to consultant armed with them. Try to take partner or friend so they can listen to the answers too especially if you find it upsetting.

Keep us informed and huge love coming your way...
x

Thanks Yellow - you're lovely!

I peed on another stick this morning and it's a very slightly darker shade of very, very pale line. But then at only about 9 DPO it's not so surprising.

Thank God my DH thinks he can see them too - otherwise I'd fear I am a loon.

And as expected, my period started on Friday night. It's just not meant to be. I think I might throw away all pg testing kits so I can't know it keeps going wrong.

My insides hurt. A lot. And I'm trying to ignore them, but it's very, very hard; it's something to do with lost hope I think.

And the period is awful again. I hope there is something which can be done to fix it. I'd really, really like to be up the pole.

Sorry for being such a moaning minnie. Not my normal way at all.

Daisy - it must be so hard to see this happening so often

The good thing is that you are obviously pretty fertile and I'm sure that when you finally get your results, there will be something they can "fix"

Look after yourself today - remember you can take paracetamol and ibuprofen together if the pain gets bad.

Just checking in really - nothing much to say here. Not actively TTC at the mo and have had so many dark days, I finally went to a GP last week - have been referred for counselling and have to go back next week to be assessed as they think I may be clinically depressed (I tend to agree !) At least things can only get better ...

Am off to Wales with work in a little while - back Wed night but will lurk on phone to see how you are x x

Oh daisydot - I am so sorry - so tough for you. Jools is right though - you know once the problem found and fixed you'll have asticky one.

jools - I've been thinking of you today. Sorry to hear you're depressed. Good to get some help though. Is dp being helpful. If I knew you in real life I would give you a massive hug. Or a massive glass of wine.

How you doing cindy - seems to just be four of us now.

x

Hello All

Daisy phew! at least they know what it is and tell them to get a move on and fix it. Sorry to hear that AF returned... how strange is that. At least you know now what you up against and hopefully you can now get the support you need from your consultant. As Yellow said write every question down when you see him/he and get all the answers. You seem very fertile so lets hope the bean sticks next time. Do you think the fibroid that is causing the problem with the bean sticking??

Jools Why do you feel depressed? look honey please forgive me but you need to look after yourself, doctors will give you tablets but try not to take them if you can. I became very depressed when I had my DD but refused to take the tablets.... I went for long walks and changed what I was doing during the day. Exercise helped me a lot and getting out and doing fun things with my friends ie. going to salsa classes etc. Its good you have got some counselling in because they have techniques that can help you to cope. BUT listen to me, your the only one that can help yourself... take control... it is so very hard but you are a wonderful person so try and figure out what is making you unhappy and change it! Please don't take my words in an offensive way I just want you back on your feet and back to the Jools I knew.. you are made of stronger things AND you will get what you want even when you hit 40!! Love you Cindy x

Yellowflowers I am doing fine worrying about my scan this Friday but whatever will be will be. Lets hope all will be well and that I can relax a little. How are you doing what cycle day are you on now?

Cycle day 21 but my temps not risen yet though I had ewcm for three days last week so I think I have ovulated but not sure what my temps mean this month.No other signs though- hmmmm.

Good luck at scan.
xx

Hello ladies - all is back on track here and I am over my pissed-offness. I am looking forward to my appointment next Monday so I can ask all the hard questions I've got lined up. We're about to start our shagging every other day mission; what a hardship!

C1NDY I think it must be the fibroid causing the problem; I remember when I had my mirena fitted, they measured my uterus and it was 7cm from top to bottom. The fibroid is 8cm round and is in the wall of the uterus, so it's bigger than my uterus is tall. That's got to cause a problem, hasn't it? I'll wait to be told though!

Good luck with your scan on Friday - I have everything crossed for you and am quite sure you'll find a beautiful baby wriggling for you.

yellow how's the diet going? You're very good to keep going with temping - I got v bored with it! And then they said it wasn't too reliable with PCO, so I happily started relying on just CM.

Jools are you OK? Would wine help? Or would just a friendly ear do? TTC can be very all-consuming; I am trying really hard not to let it be so. As it's one of the few things in life we have absolutely no control over, I fight to keep it in proportion. I hope it's not TTC that's making you feel so low.

Hi all,

Didn't realise you were all still posting here.

yellow sounds like you have started some big steps towards getting PG - really hope that this is your month - you're an original thread member!

c1ndy thinking of you for your scan today!

daisy your situtation with your periods does sound v. bad - I hope you get some answers soon.

jools Hoping that you are managing to enjoy your time out from ttc. xx

As Cindy said - i got a BFP 2 weeks ago - which is my second - and was spookily on my due date for the previous pregnancy that ended in a MC. So am just over 6 weeks and keeping everything crossed that this one doesn't end the way the last one did.

Will make sure I check back in on you all soon!

Hi All,

Just to let you know that the scan went well and everything is fine. Except the baby was had a little big stomach, which could mean 1) it was laying in a funny position and could mean nothing 2) That the baby will be big and it could mean I could get diabetes towards the end of the pregnancy. So they are keeping an eye on it.

To tell you the truth I have not been feeling well at all, but that could be the hormones.

Okay, DH and I will be having another girl which is lovely. Was wishing it was a boy so we get one of each but hey I am so happy. Now comes the dilimma as we choose the boys name but never thought of a girls one. So any ideas let me know... my DDs name is Nyah so it has to match with that and we cant have a K or C as it will not work with our surname.

Any thoughts ideas will be great.

Love
Cindy
X

C1NDY - I'm so glad your scan went well, it sounds as though you have a healthy baby growing. It's as well to keep a close watch on how you're feeling though, especially if the docs are aware there's a risk of diabetes. Not something to muck about with to be honest.

A healthy baby girl! What fabulous news.

I'm just back from the consultant and am a bit surprised again! The fibroid is in the back wall of my uterus and she doesn't think it's likely to cause any problems with conception. It will cause pain and very heavy bleeding, but if I want to conceive I will have to just deal with that.

She was actually quite positive about it and very clearly said that the risk of removing it is far greater than the risk of leaving it in place. She explained that it is likely to grow if I do get pg and although it's not in a high risk place with regard to pregnancy, I will need an increased level of care.

My progesterone test is apparently not normal (very misleading info from my GP) - it is low and therefore ovulation is likely to be a bit hit and miss. So she's prescribed me Clomid. I really didn't expect that.

She talked about the likelihood of it being less effective because I am so lardy, and asked if I'd like to wait 6 months and continue with weight-loss to see what that has.

I had a quick chat with my DH and we decided that on balance, we'd go with trying it immediately. I'm 41 in February and 6 months further on is a lot of time to waste with my declining fertility. I can see that we may be wasting the drug (she's said we can try for 12 cycles) by taking it while v lardy, but to be honest if it hasn't worked by this time next year I think my chances are pretty slim anyway.

It actually wasn't a difficult decision to make, so we left with a prescription in hand and lots of questions about the drug. I think I'll have to see if I am welcome on one of the Clomid threads!

Wow - so much to say.

Huge congrats Iggy - so please for youand everything crossed for a sticky one.

Congratulations on getting a lovely baby girl cindy - Nyah is a lovely name - is it from a particular culture? What kind of names do you like? Do you pronounce Nyah Nigh-ah or Nee-yah?

Wow daisy - clomid already. I didn't realise it worked less well if overweight. Are you very overweight? I am hoping to get clomid at next appointment in Jan.

Anyone heard from jools?

No news from me - on 2ww - no twinges or symptoms at all though except smelly wee but you know, perhaps my wee is just smelly.

xx

Hi All,

Daisy Thanks, I know it is great news. I am trying to eat less crisps and chocolates as I am getting rather huge but am still a size 16 with a nice pot belly! My bum has grown alot but I can't see that so it doesn't worry me too much . Have you tried doing the Cambridge Diet or Lighterlife as they are very good and they do make you more fertile as your body is put on vitamins only... you lose a stone every four weeks. Lighterlife is expensive but Cambridge is at the right price. Lighterlife give counselling where Cambridge you are on your own but you have a choice of meal plans. I was on the Cambridge for a while but then went to Paul McKenna's session and it was amazing. If you want to see great results then Cambridge and Lighterlife are the why but saying that Weight Watchers is good too, if you exercise and stick to the meal plan.

Just to let you know, I had a friend who was overweight about a size 20 and she went on Clomid and it worked for her she now has a 1 year old boy, so think positive and I have a feeling that you will get your bfp soon. (big hugs)

Yellow My DDs name is pronounced Nigh-ah, we got it off of Mission Impossible II, it was Thandie Newtons character name is African. It is such a beautiful name and suits her well. Fingers crossed for you, I am sure you will get a bfp soon.

I hope I wasn't too strong with my words to Jools. I am hoping everything works out for her.

Any girls names would be greatly appreciated... I am at rock bottom with finding anything suitable... My DH likes Taylor and Brooke but I just can't see those name working... too American for me!

I like quite classic English names but am trying to think of Americanish ones both you and your DH will like.

Robyn?

meant to say my temp plummeted today so think AF on way

C1NDY! I love your style. I too don't care about my rear view because I can't actually see it!

I am following a low GI diet because I have insulin resistance and it is really, really helping. I've lost enough weight for it to show already (started at beginning of Oct) and it feels as though a key has suddenly been unlocked. Another benefit of it is I don't get the shakes and go all grey and odd when I haven't eaten for a while. It's good to know about success stories. It feels as though I have arrived where I am very, very quickly and I am a bit shell shocked by it to be honest.

What about Zoe? Goes quite well with Nyah maybe? Names are sooo hard.

Yellow I have the oddest body. I think it's very dense. And I have very heavy hair! I am a size 20/22 but my BMI is way too high (in the early 40s I think). She was very clear with the push to lose weight and how the Clomid will be much more effective when I am thinner.

But then I think that doctors blame many things on weight because it's a very easy peg to hang problems on. I am reasonably fit, walk for a minimum of an hour a day, garden, cycle for miles and work my dogs. I am sure being overweight isn't the best thing to be in the world, but equally, I am sure being a skinny minnie and totally inactive is also a very bad thing.

me too daisy - bmi 41 and size 20/22 - but I need to be 98kg bmi 35 for them to give me clomid - am starting to think it's impossible,. Have 2 months in which to achieve this.

What diet are you following yellow? You have PCOS too don't you? Apparently it's PCO which has caused/aggravated the insulin resistance for me.

Has anyone explored it with you? It really has made the hugest difference to me and the way weight just seemed to pile on with no significant over-eating (I know everyone says that!).

I wonder why we are working with such a different set up? I really don't think it's fair. Maybe age is playing a part for me - she had the attitude of giving it a good go as the window of opportunity is getting smaller and smaller. How old are you?

Hi daisy. I'm 31 so maybe that's why. Am so rubbish at giving up carbs though.

Hi

Still around - just posting less as the internet police are out in force at work.

Cindy - all valid points you made about depression, but I don't agree that you can always pull yourself out of it - I could see things spiralling out of control - was "working from home" and struggling to get out of bed, let alone do any work - even basic tasks like having a shower or putting some washing on were taking me hours. I was alternatively crying or screaming at DP, my brain was raking up every bad memory from my dim and distant past and I was constantly re-running the mc from last year in vivid detail - a video I couldn't turn off. I was lying awake from the early hours every night, so permanently shattered and was completely incapable of making any decisions, of seeing a future.

Believe me, I'd tried all the things you mention, but was losing the ability to motivate myself and having some very dark and scary thoughts at times - that IS what depression is - the losing control is scary.

I am on antidepressants now and, although GP's say it can take 2 or 3 weeks to take effect, after just one week, I feel like a different person - a curtain has been lifted and I can see and feel clearly again. It is only now I'm realising how bad it had got, and I think if I hadn't sought help now, I wouldn't have even had the motivation / ability to do so as things got worse and I'd have been in real trouble.

Good positive news on the tests and weight loss Daisy I struggle myself - think my BMI is hovering around 32 and even on extreme diets like Cambridge, I only manage to lose around 1lb a week max. Think I might try low GI next - early in the New Year. I know it sounds like a cop out not to do it now, but I'm away for the weekend, then away for work, then have 3 Christmas parties in one week - don't think diets are possible, so it will just be damage limitation !

Think this has got too long, so I'll disappear before I get caught ! Sorry to hear of temp drop Yellow