Feisty & Fabulous at 40+ more adventures of TTC

[gonepearshaped]

Actually now I feel guilty using up the last post of the thread - hope this will do as a continuation

Hi everyone,

Well done CCC, that was a quick visit!

TFLS quickies, see now you are becoming a true TTC'er, none of this romantic nonsense.

Gum are you feeling more Christmassy yet? I haven't got around to it either. My main reason is that the tree is very, very dusty and I have to clean it first. [aaargh face] So we may never have any decorations.

Hippy Ooo I can't wait to hear what happens on Monday, you do mean this coming Monday?

Woodelf I'm glad to hear you are on the mend. Why did your DH have the jab?

ILGH well done on the exam. What did you sing?

I'm less and less keen to have this frozen transfer for the coming cycle, just don't fancy it over Christmas/New Year. Poo! Plus I will need most of January to work off all the flab I am currently accumulating.
What is it with the cold weather, I'm having a cake a day (or two)?!?!?

Hi Rowing, I'm not sure why he had the jab, I think his work offered it because they don't want staff taking time off to be ill. Thats Law firms for you!! At least he has a job so I can't complain!!

DS is really feeling christmassy - has found the buttons for the lights and keeps turning it off and on - quite irritating but he's keeping himself entertained I suppose. Also keeps burying head in the tree and looking for toys he has secreted amongst the branches - a very strange one is my DS... - just like mummy....

Starting to feel a bit more Christmassy - bought a tree - a lovely Japanese maple (it has leaves cos it is summer down here), bought a gorgeous red glazed pot to put it in, and it will reside on the deck once Christmas is over. I can't put it in the garden, too hot. Quite pleased with it. Now if I could just get my 18 year old son to answer his mobile phone, so he can pick it up for me in his ute, as my car is too small for it to fit....

I also braved the supermarket yesterday, which isn't a good idea if you are feeling a bit sad about ttc because the place is just crawling with heavily pregnant women with their lovely bulging baby bellies!!

If that isn't bad enough, when I was in a clothing store getting a top for my daughter, the sales assistant asked me when the baby was due! Yes...I was wearing a smock style top, and yes, I have had 5 so the tummy is not flat, but seriously, how stupid can you be asking someone that!!!!? So I replied, "June", she said,"Oh, you're not far along then?", my reply,"No". I felt so awful, I got into the car and cried. Bloody hell, how insensitive. Obviously not everyone can know your circumstances, but you should never ask any woman her EDD unless she has revealed to you that she is pregnant. Grrr...I suppose I'll have to try abit harder with the tummy exercises, or,I could get pregnant...

Another low temperature this morning, so, still not ovulating. I reckon I'll crack a bottle of bubbly when it happens, I'll be so excited.

Sorry this post is just me,me, me.

ILGH - well done with your singing exam. May I ask what kind of singing (please excuse my iognorance), is it opera? Did you get other test results back? Perhaps you've already said, I'll go back and read earlier posts.

Is everyone else over the illnesses? We seem to be coming out the other side, though Charlie is teething and having the most hellish nappies, and a flare up of his eczema, poor little thing, I've never seen it this bad.So, he is doing a lot of sucking for comfort.I haven't the heart to limit it.

Must be time for a cup of tea and some toast.

Gum! Poor you, that must have been awful... best to crack open that bottle of bubbly and say f**k em all. Its amazing how insensitive some people can be - for ages people kept asking me if I'd have another after Alex and I said no way and then funnily he turns 3 and it all changes. Still keeping schtum to anyone else though - none of their business is it?
Chin up love, at least you've got some sunny weather to enjoy - UK getting a bit frosty at the mo

Gum I'm sorry you had a difficult time. It really is a bit a stupid question, most people might think, 'hmm is she or isn't she?' but generally we wait to be told, just in case... I don't want to be responsible for some poor woman bursting into tears.
I'm glad to hear you are feeling a bit better, poor Charlie, I hope he is feeling better soon. It is so hard to see pg women when you are first TTC. It does get easier, I used to feel awful and jealous when we first started TTC and we have been through so much since starting, but I do feel much less bothered about other women being pg. I think I'm doing what I can and not beating myself up so much now.

gum sorry you had that. They are everywhere aren't they, those pregnant ladies?

Got doc tomorrow to see results. OV'd last night I think (had the positive opk yesterday morning) so I missed the chance to see her and have a scan but thought that was the least important part of the process anyway. Want to know what the bloods say.

My singing exam is pretty much the same as any musical instrument exam - like piano for instance, we have three pieces to play/sing from memory. I sang Panis Angelicus, Adam Lay Bounden and I Could Have Danced All Night- all differnt styles but from a set list of pieces to choose from. I also have to sing a folk song unaccompanied. Then I have to sight sing a few bars, then sing back a tune played to me by the examiner, clap the rhythm and tell him the time signature of the piece. He also plays a piece of music and I have to guess what period it is, maybe a composer and describe it in musical terms. It's not much fun I have to say! Got a carol concert tonight. My friend is going to film it and put it on youtube ha ha.

Anyway, better go watch DS3 dancing to Cartoon Network. He's a crazy baby!

That does sound very involved ILGH. I want to see the youtube, love carol concerts.

Evening all. Was talking to my best friend's friend yesterday, who is the gyny matron of one of the big London hospitals, so we got talking about my situation, as you'd expect. Told her nothing was wrong with either me or dh, it just wasn't happening, so we were doing ivf in Feb (has moved back a couple of months). She told me that her hospital wouldn't even treat me, that it would be unfair to take my money, as the rate of success was so miniscule over the age of 38. I'm turning 44 in January.

I'm just so flat, flat, flat.

Oh Kiwi, that's awful, however, women our age get pregnant all the time, and I should have thought that having ivf will up your odds. I think hospitals have these policies so that their statistics look good.
You are not a stat, you are a human being!
I can remember whinging to a mid-wife that I was getting old, she told me that the poor stats (my 5% chance of falling pregnant) were based on data collected from infertility clinics, where women with fertility issues go as a last resort, so the stats are scewed. She said she had come across older mums, in their forties all the time. I'm clinging to her theory.
I think they have these cut off ages due to the egg reserve problems, but it doesn't mean that you in particular will have egg issues, and maybe ivf is the little boost you need.
I am sorry you are feeling flat. I'm hoping you'll get a lovely double line before february.Actually, I hope we all do!

Well, it's off to the growers market to buy loads of organic vegetables and fruits so that I can grow a lovely plump,juicey fresh egg! Oh, and feed the family!

Kiwi don't feel bad, I agree with Gum, the figures are based on all sorts of different people. Lots do IVF because of hormone imbalances which you don't have or because of problems like endometriosis (sp?) which again you don't have. The other factor is that we don't all age at exactly the same rate, the figures are based on averages not individuals.
The best way to find out about your individual fertility is to have all the tests done, day three FSH and oestrodial and day 21 progesterone and I think thyroid. My hospital did AMH tests which tell you about ovarian reserve. And even after all that people go on to have successful pregnancies with not so good results.
It is 'generally' more difficult to become pg after 35, but we all know that, but you are bravely taking the challenge.
Re the IVF - my doctor was surprised that I had a normal response to IVF and good fertilisation rates (due to DP, clever thing) so it goes to show that the stats don't account for individual differences.
I really feel for you, it is hard to fail at TTC for ages (it has been three years + for me and DP so I do relate) but you have to step back a bit if it is really dominating your life just to save your sanity. It really seems to be getting to you at the moment.
Don't forget there are lots of options available to you and you can have another child to love if you really want. I'm sure you will one way or another, don't lose heart.
{{{{{{{ hoooge hug}}}}}}}}

Gum you are so good, organising lovely food for your family. I have been appalling lately, not very interested in cooking, but I hope you can inspire me to pick up my game.
What are you going to make?

Hey Kiwi, Don't feel flat. Just think that you are going to try your best for something you really want. None of us can change the things not in our hands but we do need to try things that we can and who knows, may be you will be one of those miniscule success stories. I am hoping that you will get your bfp soon to prove all that statistics wrong. In any case you have your lovely little one. We all can relate with how you feel but important thing is that we don't let it consume us. We can't forget to enjoy and cherish what we already have. Big hug and loads of luck.

Rowing, I had a lovely morning at the markets and bought some beautiful vege, cherries,strawberries, sour dough bread and fresh haloumi (it is soooo good!). So I cooked up a big tray of roast vegetables : potatoes,sweet potatoes,red onions (from my garden),garlic,rosemary,baby beetroot, all drizzled in olive oil. This was accompanied by steamed broccoli and beautiful organic lamb chops that our friends farmed. It was yummy, and I felt pretty good about all that natural goodness!
My DS has had bad eczema lately and I have heard that lots of animal fats, perticularly omega threes are very good, so I enjoyed my lamb chops knowing he'd get some omega threes (they are grass fed) through my breastmilk. I've also been using hemp lotion which has worked miracles on his skin.
He is feeling better, but has gotten into a boob feast habit, so I'm not sleeping terribly well. My theory is that I won't ovulate whilst my LO is requiring so much attention, I think my body knows it isn't time when I have my hands full. Which is true,of course, but I did hope for one last attempt and that stupid clock is ticking!
What will be will be.
My Christmas tree arrived yesterday.It is rather lop-sided, but it will do!My 9 year old dd is trying to arouse my excitement about Christmas, but it isn't really happening.However, she has enough excitement for all of us!
Pat, how's it all going for you?

Morning all. Start of the week here for us so boys back at school for three days before the hols. Got bunk beds arriving for them this afternoon so got a busy morning lined up dismantling their old beds and clearing their room. Logan currently running around after his nanny who he is in love with so will have the time to do so unmolested. Unless he goes into a "only mummy will do" mood.

Got my results yesterday from lovely doc. My FSH is 9 which is fine and I guess good for my age. Everything else seems within normal range but will go back on Friday for my day 21 bloods and will get that progesterone level tested. I think it's up this month as I have had horrible skin - big spots that I never usually get. Have stopped the agnus castus for the luteal phase. Should know if this is my month by Christmas Eve wouldn't that be nice?

Gumblossom, that sounded lovely, am drooling at the thought.Think I'll do that for dinner tomorrow.

Thanks for the comforting words, you're all such a lovely bunch. Sorry I'm such a misery at the moment. I've just allowed it all to get to me. Hope you're all happy and well. x

Gum that sounds delicious. You are very healthy as well.
Have you tried putting oats in a sock and putting them under the tap when you run a bath, it's supposed to be good for eczema?
What is your nine year old doing to get you all in the festive mood?
I just watched 'Elf' with Will Ferrell that will get you in the mood, it's so silly.

Kiwi you will be OK we are all here for the same reason and we are all nodding. It's very mad and frustrating.

ILGH sounds good on the FSH so that's something ticked off. It's always nice to have information. Is it nanny as in granny or nanny as in Mary Poppins?

Why is it so quiet here? Where are Spirael, Luckewebby, Hippy, GPS etc ? Gum, Roasted Veg with garlilc and rosemary, yumm.
I am reaching the point where I am starting to accept that I was supposed to have one beautiful child only. May God bless her. She is the light of our lives. I got married at 27, accidentally conceived DD at 30 and had a lovely pregnancy mainly because I was so busy at work that I had no time to feel anything. Was back to work/professional training full time when DD was 3 weeks old. Had another accidental pregnancy when DD was 8 months old which we decided to terminate becuase our hands were so full with everything. This 2nd pregnancy actually made us paranoid about our reproductive capability and started using rigorous protection. For years we thought we had completed our family. We were so busy that thinking of another child just didn't happen, except for the occasional fleeting thoughts. DD has been so charming all along that we thought we had hit the jackpot. As we felt established in our professions and DD turned into a lovely young lady who doesn't need Mommy all the time anymore, the urge to have another Lo kicked in. Looks like it was too late because no matter how fit and healthy I am, I am still a 42 year old woman, way past her reproductive prime. Have been ttc actively since May. We have one more cycle to go after that we are probably going to give it up. Its too stressful to go through that 2ww and then welcome AF. I am just looking at it as everybody is destined to have a different family size. I have to live with the guilt of not wanting another one for so long and denying DD a sibling (she doesn't care at all, atleast so far).But probably it did not occur to me all those years because I was destined to have only one. I can't go back in time and change how I used to think, I just feel like kicking myself everyday. I can not let it weigh too much on me because the ultimate goal for everybody is a happy family, big or small.
Sorry for all this rambling. I am just trying to rationalize my feelings. A very happy holiday season to you all.

Hi Pat,
I know it is difficult to accept anything that you haven't chosen for yourself. It's so annoying to feel things have been imposed on you. In some ways it highlights how good you have had it, not having to accept things and having a lot more control over events.
We haven't accepted that we will have one child yet, but I can see that looming ahead if the next couple of treatments don't work.
You never know, things could take a dramatic turn, for us both.
I do understand your feelings because I had a termination when I was studying, and it was twins to boot so by now I could have had three children. However, I really don't have any regrets because it would have been an absolute nightmare at the time. I hadn't finished my degree, the father was unstable in many ways, and I was alone in a foreign country.
If I had gone ahead and had them I don't think I would have done half the things that I have done since so it was the price I paid.
Anyway, I would probably have been on here moaning about not being able to conceive baby number four knowing me.
Let's have a fantastic Christmas and be thankful for the lovely families we do have.

Pat,I have also wondered what has happened to our comrades...It sounds like you are calmly accepting that another babe might not happen, but you've not tried a year yet, and I think that although it is difficult at our age, it is not impossible. My theory is that there are good eggs there, but not as often as when you are younger, so it may take longer to hit the jackpot.I hope your number comes up soon.Have you had any testing? Would you do ART?
I sometimes think I'm just being greedy and silly, wanting another, but for some reason, I truly believe I am supposed to give it one more try, so will hang in there a bit longer.

How's the Chrissy preparation going? I am starting to get into the spirit (read "panic") of it all. Thinking about starting some baking (we are giving baked treats as gifts this year), have bought wrapping paper, even a couple of stocking stuffers for the kids.So I am coming around slowly!

I have dd1's graduation (from year 7) today.She's very excited. I am stunned that she's already going to high school. Time really flies!

Speaking of which, must dash and get organised!

Gum that sounds great, getting the baking organised. Can you come and sort me out - I'm just sooo tired at the moment!
It's all go on the school front isn't it! This time of year is so hectic, roll on the holidays.

Hi ladies, how nice to be missed. TBH with you it's a combination of being just so darned busy at the mo and feeling a bit fed up with the whole 'baby after 40' thing. I went to the consultant and he has found a cyst on my right ovary (that was what the other scan showed - not a follicle . I also have some endo damage on the left side. The worst thing he discovered is that he thinks I'm not oving. He scanned me on day 15 and day 19 and said there were no signs of Ov - he concluded this is why I was having such short cycles. I feel such a twit cos that's obviously why the OPK's never said "yeah go for it". I had so many sgns of Ov that I was really quite surprised to hear that the old biological clock has had it's wicked way after all.

Anyway he can't give me clomid to kick start my ovaries until he's given me a laposcapy to remove the cyst and have a look at the endo - i really thought I'd had all the laps I was going to have (3). So if we stop now our chances are VERY minimal or we can go for the lap and after a 4 week gap we can have the clomid.

We have decided to wait for the results of DH's sp*rm test. Obviously if his boys are all rubbish too then there's no point in me going through a painful procedure. So it all comes down to that really.

I read what you said about regrets and I do wish I'd thought of number 3 baby earlier but to be perfectly honest it's only now that the boys are 6 & 9 that it even occured to us to want another one. I could not have coped with a baby, a 3 yr old and a 6 yr old for example. It's the boys being older and less work that makes us even contemplate another one. So i'll either be having a lap and drugs next year or giving up on the whole ttc thing. I must confess I do feel sad but I MUST not lose sight of how lucky I am to have my DS's. Sorry to go on so much. Is Mabh still out there - how are you??

Hi all,

Hippy, wow that is a lot of information! Do you feel better now that you know what is happening? I hope it can all be resolved next year and of course that your DH's boys are fighting fit.
Next year is going to be a biggie for a lot of us one way or another.
How is fifi, are you out there??

Hmm. Well, reading the last page of posts it looks like there's some similar situations here. Nothing's happening with me, despite the fact that I'm ovulating, etc.

I've decided I have to sideline the whole ttc issue as, given it's unlikely I'll fall pregnant, I can't let the possibility have a space in my life. If it happens, well it does. But it probably won't.

And I don't have your failsafe of - at least I have other dcs - I don't.

Looks like we'll be spending the inheritance we won't be leaving on books, then.

Ho hum.

Hi All,
Been quickly scanning the posts as same as everyone I'm sure life is completely manic - I'm sure I was less busy when I had a full time job (that is as opposed to running own business and having DS/DH to sort out . ) Anyway I had a short cycle 25 days last month, but a very reasonable AF (if there is such a thing) and after acupuncture today have been told all very good, balanced, I know I'm ovulating - so go for it. Not going to do OPK, just do the do (still hate 'BD' term every 2 days until we start falling apart!
Had a wobble last week, went to a xmas party - of 15 mums all but 2 of us were pregnant..ho ho ho.
Anyway, it's almost Christmas so hugs and a bit of christmas cheer to all feeling down and here's to a fertile 2010...
Need to wrap more prezzies now

Hi all,

Ghengis, that sounds like a conspiracy - the 13 pregnant women, or a verse from a Christmas song. Are you sure it wasn't an elaborate practical joke? I think that calls for a 'la la la la la, I can't hear you' whilst sticking fingers in ears.

Mabh that is totally cr*p. I don't know what to say, but I do do understand how frustrating this all is. And it can't help about us all saying how we will make do with our other 100 dcs.
Do you think you have covered all the bases or do you think there is something which will help, like a complementary therapy or TCM or similar?
Would you look at adoption?
I don't know if this is of interest, but if our frozen embryo transfer doesn't work out, we are thinking about embryo adoption, it costs a huge amount less than straight-forward IVF and you do still actually carry a child of your own.
Anyway, you can think about all that tomorrow.
How's Christmas shaping up?

rowing you learn something new every day. I had no idea about embryo adoption.

mabh sorry it's so crap for you at the moment.

Symptom spotting like mad at the mo but trying not to. Every little thing is a sign - sore boobs, metallic taste, food tasting funny, being tearful. I really should know better. On the other hand, I've been spotting from day 21 last two cycles and nothing so far today. Had my bloods taken this morning for progesterone and back to docs on Christmas Eve for results and progesterone supps if needed.

Christmas shaping up well. Got bil and sil coming over. They having ttc #1 issues - for 3 years. I hope this holiday will help them.

Got all our pressies for the boys and the crazy baby and we're off out for lunch to a swanky hotel on Christmas Day. In the meantime, planning a birthday party for DS1 who is 6 on Thursday. Gotta love Batman.

How's plans for everyone else?