Emmsy's in weeble land....Where weeble's wobble but don't fall down!

[barbiebigpants]

Do you like our new home?...

Here's to another happy thread!

The fun, the laughter and the tears will get us through, and help the weeble stay forever upright

mls you were in my thoughts all night..couldnt sleep due to the unfairness of it all

mrskate i know you are nervous but you will be fine, make sure you come back and update us all later....

jools im joining you for a day on the beach....dh and i have been spring cleaning and getting the garden and bbq ready for winter (sound strange) finally its cold enough to start to enjoy the out doors, and i know my mum will spend most of her time out there when she arrives on mon.
I have washed all the nets and cleaned the windows....so now we are off to the beach for the first time since may, its my last full day off with dh before he leaves for a month

Ill be back later to catch up with you all.....

mrskate a huge big luck for later

mlsa huge hug

really sorry to put up a me me me post when we've had bad news on the thread (MLS you are in my thoughts, I wish I could make things all better) but I'm in a pickle and could do with some help and I don't know what to do...

I've been fighting depression since mc#2 in February, and I've had to conceed I have lost. All the classic signs, can't eat can't sleep can't see the the point of anything in my stupid little life and nothing will cheer me up.Dh wants me to get counselling, but I've ended up in counselling everytime I've got depressed and it's got to the stage where I've exhausted that option, I know what the problem really is.

I arranged my entire life around having a baby, from the house I bought to the shoes I wear and now there is no chance of a babby for at least a year I've realised I've made the wrong choices. My life is perfect for having children, but totally wrong for me. wrong job, wrong house, wrong country - thank god right DH!

I have no idea what to do. Ride it out, accept the choices I've made and make the best of it? Keeping TTCing and be comforted that when it happens our babby will want for nothing, even if I'm unhappy? Pack in the house, the job, retrain and emigrate, and accept that I might be blowing my chances of motherhood (we reckon it will take us at least 8-10 years before we will be in a position to have children again if I do this, we'll be cutting it fine biologically speaking).

Add to the mix that Dh is so happy as we are, he loves our house, loves being self-employed as a writer and is so excited at being a daddy. It's just me who's looking at the grey clad corporate wage slave in the mirror and thinking "who on earth are you?"

Help! (and sorry, I couldn't think of any other people who would understand more than you ladies)

hoping honey I am being way too quick cos I have to go out but didn't want to leave you unanswered.
You haven't lost the fight against depression, you are just exhausted with it all. And no wonder.

I am half tempted to say don't run away - your dh is happy but you are equally important. Never easy to make decisions when feeling grey and wanting to heal with some good news.

Hang in there and take it a day at a time and see how you feel next week/ month. we will all get there one way or another.

ps please can you tell me which shoes I should have been wearing?

thanks mermaid the shoe thing is that I wont buy any new shoes or clothes until I'm pg and need bigger ones! started off as sensible when we'd been trying for a few months, now after nearly a year to get anything new is just admitting that I've failed even if it's getting cold and I don't have any winter shoes...

Hoping
I agree with Vjay - worry about pg clothes when pg and in my exp, you don't need them for much of that time only and you need very few

Should you go for counselling or going and chat to your GP and see what they advise - it may not hurt?

When you have your much longed for LO, life will change so much that, to be honest you will be happy with your new life and the new you. We always used to talk about emigrating every year , we also just to have great holidays and loads of spare cash. Now we have none of those things, emigration is a bit of a distant pipe dream but we have more laughs than we did before - life is just v different.

As for the house, job etc - it really depends on how unhappy you are. Your job probably funds your house and so, if you didn't have the house ( aka large mortgage), could you then afford to retrain if this is what you really want? We downsized when I went part time and my kids now share a room but it was absolutly the right thing to do and has made us all much happier. I was also bored at work and so, having to go in less days, helped with that too.

Could you retrain on a part time basis - evenings or even negotiate a day off a week or a more part time option at work?

And when you have the baby, they really don't need much space, what they need is love and you are going to have no problem with that.

DH is happy - I'm sure he'd be even happier if you were and if moving make you happier, I'm sure he'll be happy to make the compromise.

Should you delay TTC - if this is what you really want then I really have to say no. If 8-10 years takes you into your late 30's/ 40's and you are ready now, then it's not worth the risk of waiting.

But before I end the sermon according to LBM, if you are feeling really down at the mo, it's probably not the right time to make life changing decisions

PS buy some new shoes, there are no specific pregnancy ones and the last thing you need is cold feet!

PS again - I really hope no one takes any of this the wrong way - it's just my views and I can be an opinionated old bugger when I want to be!

Some wise words there LittleBell. Hoping - After my 2nd mc I went out and bought myself a whole new wardrobe (well a couple of going out tops/trousers/high heels) as was fed up with same old clothes 'waiting' to move back into my maternity ones from DS. Have you thought of alternative medicine in terms of hypnotherapy/relaxation etc. rather than standard counselling?

Its so so hard to stay positive when everything you do is geared towards having a family and its not happening. At the risk of sounding lame, is there a project/hobby you could take up, some volunteering, cliche about giving back to community etc. to take your mind off ttc?

• its just hard, bloody hard.

mrskate - hope you are clutching scan photo as I type .

hi blue mrskate just been thinking about you, hope all is well and you've seen your little bean

Hoping - buy new clothes! Forget about pregnancy ones! Anyway... I have clothes that you could probably wear with a bump that are not pregnancy clothes... so get some like that

Also - I feel similarly about my job - the one thing i swore I would never do is work in an office - yet here I am at a computer all day... I started well - but somehow ended up someone I don't want to be - all for the cash.

Depression makes everything 1000 times worse.... and makes you focus on the negatives - and not the positives

Also sometimes you need to relax your ideals a little - I have always always wanted to live in the countryside - I border on being obessed about it. But my DH is happy in London, so we agreed to look for a new house in London and stay for another 5 years - then think about countryside. And suddenly the decison being made actually stopped my desperation for it to happen. If that makes sense... I think I am waffling...

Do something that makes you happy - enjoy time with your DH - don't put off ttc - go with the flow. I reckon... but really - just do whatever makes you happy. xx

Hi Vjay . How is little Alex doing and how are your nipples bearing up ? Has his tummy button stump fallen off?

I hear it's lovely up your way today ...

Hi ladies, sorry have been lurking mostly, but wanted to make sure and pass my deepest sympathies and mega hugs to MLS, it's just devastating news.

Hugs too to 4ever, hoping, mermaid and BlueMoon, hope all your wobbles are bouncing upright again.

So good to hear Neeko and cupcakes news, and fingers so crossed for Mrskate

As for me I'm hugely fed up right now in the hinterland of pregnancy-dom (please hope no-one takes offence at my moaning). Am almost 39 weeks and as DD had arrived by now I actually feel overdue. Have had enough of nesting, just feel fat and oh-so tired and Fidget NEVER seems to stop whacking my insides - has got itself far too comfortable it seems. I even had DP shouting up my crotch yesterday to try and encorage it down , and DD is mightily bored of waiting and has taken to waggling her finger at the bump and saying "it's time to come out you silly baby"!! I though the 2WW was bad, but this just about takes the biscuit.

Sabs, hope you are faring better than me at the moment, at this rate I think you'll be getting the cuddles in before me. Just want to pass on my best wishes again to vjay and family - it gives me great heart to know there is finally an end to all this.

Big waves to everyone else, especially barbie for those oh-so classic stories

Sorry I'm dashing out but wanted to give my deepest deepest sympathies to you MLS I'm so so sorry. Hide in the corner of the greenhouse with the wine for as long as you need to.

Hoping huge hugs and hairstrokes to you too; really feel for you. Will email you this weekend!

Loads of love to all you lovely ladies xxx

(Whoever needs cheering up, just watch Strictly tonight, as it's the absolute best thing in the world ever.)

mrskate just texted to say that all is well xxx

Just beat me to it curly, was just about to announce the same
So happy for you Mrskate XX

Hey annie how are you today?

Can't stop thinking about MLS. My heart is breaking for you honey, with another lost little one and an EDD to cope with. I keep hearing my gran's voice in my head saying that 'this too will pass' but I know right now all you have is pain It's just so unfair that you have to go through this again. I am sending you the most massive hug and some of cupcakes hairstrokes xxx

hoping it means a lot that you would come to us. I know it is impossible to really understand how awful depression is unless you have been through it yourself. I'd just suggest two things. Firstly that being depressed probably things seem more wrong than they really are, and maybe you don't need to change everything so drastically. Having said that you can't put everything on hold to have a baby. It will happen but you'll be a much better mummy if you're happy Are there other options rather than counselling? Could you speak to your GP? I think the girls have giving you some really good advice. Get yourself a plan, work towards something that is just for you and don't give up hope honey. A few months ago I thought I was cracking up and nothing could persuade me that things would ever get better and now I'm nearly 20 weeks and am feeling this blessed little one kicking tiny bubbles at me. A long way to go and it makes me afraid even writing these words that it could all still go wrong, but my point is that it can all change in one lovely minute Big hugs honey

I'm sorry I haven't been around much recently. I've missed you all xxx

Yeah to mrskate so glad all is well with you

blue my nipples are a wee bit sore, thanks for asking after them . I am feeding Alex on demand, and demand he does!!!!! He is now 9lbs 11oz. I have tried expressing and he took to the bottle no trouble, bless him, I don't think he cares so long as he gets his milk.
And yes it's fab weather up here at the mo, it's now going to rain tomorrow now I've said that

lion I do symapthise with you, the last week or so is soooo tiring, but it will soon be over and we I will have my first cyber niece or nephew, seeing as you all have one already

sabs how are you doing?

Can you tell that Alex is asleep

Hi all.
First of all really pleased for MrsKate I'm sure you must have been so worried, but you can breathe out now

I spoke to MLS briefly via text today and she said she's a bit better. The baby has already been absorbed back into her body but she's to expect a big bleed in the next few days. She has gone on the pre-planned holiday with her DD and DH and I hope the break will give her some much-needed space. I'll keep you updated if there's anything else to report.

Vjay Nice to hear from you and really glad that Alex is doing so well. Keep popping back whenever you get the chance and keep expressing a little milk on those nips

Hoping I'm sorry you're feeling so sad but pleased to see you've had such good advice on here. My tuppence worth is to change one thing at a time and take it all one day at a time. While I'm at it FGS go out and buy some new clobber. So what if it doesn't fit you for nine months. You eventually get yourself back after a baby too. Big hug. Hope the world looks brighter soon.

Curly Lovely to see you on here. Sorry RL has been so hectic but heartwarming to know you're almost halfway.

Lion I know it doesn't feel like it but the baby will come out. At most you have to wait 3 weeks (eek-please don't punch me!)but it'll all be worth it.

Sabs Hope all's well with you too.

LBM Wise words from you today You sound like you made some big life changes all for the right reasons. That must be why you're so grounded.

Annie Hope alls well with you and you're feeling plenty of movement.

Mermaid Hope you're feeling stronger now and you have a lovely weekend of outdoor pursuits planned - pantless of course.

4ever Hi lovely. Hope this week has made you stronger and you're spending quality time with your wonderful DH right now.

Cupcake Has your news settled in yet? I hope you made that phonecall and have a scan booked. The meeting with the midwife is a very positive step.

Gracie Thinking of you and hope you get back to us soon.

Barbie Sorry your DH is going away for a month but at leaset it's not at the time of the big event and your mum will be there to keep you company.

Iggy My advice is to change the job. The baby thing will fall into place but you can't put your whole life on hold.

Jools enjoy your hols. Now stop lurking and relax!

Fifi Hope you're hanging in there and wedding plans are going well.

Blue Hi lovely lady. I've kind of lost touch with you recently. Hope DS is getting on ok at APS and you're taking some time to put your feet up.

Moon Hope the forecasted meltdown didn't happen and you're on your way up again.

Racking my brains for who I've missed so big apologies if it's you.

I've been off on holiday today so spent some oprecious time with DD while DH did some decorating! We took her to the shows tonight which she thinks she loves until she actually goes on something.

hi all i feel so bad being all happy when mls is going through this heartbreaking time .

it was the most increadble thing ive ever seen . what a wriggler and waving at me . xxxx

Kate MLS wouldn't want you to feel bad. Your baby is your miracle so smile and enjoy. All we can do is be here when someone needs us and share good news to give others hope. Congrats again.

MrsKate - lovely to hear you so happy and a wavey bean!!

i just feel so terrible for her

well done mrskate so pleased for you don't feel guilty, as neeko says, mls wouldn't want you to feel bad. this is your time.

lovely curly hope things aren't too hectic, and that you are looking after yourself and your lo

I know. We all so. It's so unfair and she's been so upbeat since I joined this lovely thread. Her almost daily emails have sometimes been the only thing to keep me sane. It's horrible to feel so powerless to help...

See? MLS is so on my mind. I was meant to be waving to LBM I'll wave now and one for Moon too.