Mid 30's TTC--Gin Palace Two: Spawn of the BESH

[SarahAbroad]

Hey all...

Hope this thread name is okay...just moved the Gin Palace around the corner before we ran out of space!

See you soon. The bar's open!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY extreme Big b-day (BOD?) punch in the arm!

ginhag TYF doesn't have to ask for my permission to do owt, but we always tell each other what we're going to do and is it 'okay' with the other. Curse of the middle-classes, over-politeness. Of course, he knows better than to disobey MOI Dunno what I'd do without a man who didn't like being under the thumb. Plan to breed race of super-harridans to get mankind under proper control, buahahahah! (Or failing that, wimpy but lovely sons)

Have now added leg cramps in night to list of 'completely normal and irrelevant things I have decided to attribute to early updiffedness'. Boobs are normally like agony-zeppelins with mastalgia at this stage of my cycle, but they're not so am taking this as another sign! Look, please skip these bits where I ramble on about symptoms. I'm resigned to RTOD next week now (won't stop me doin early test this wkend, tho' ).

PS:

longwee Yay for your line! A line is a line is a line...

ski Used to be a man, eh? I've been wondering that about you for a while now

Hmmm Monsieur Gin would def bite my thumb if I tried to keep him under it..he's quite an alpha male I guess,therefore very driven,extremely hard-working, and quite grumpy (bless)

he does cook my tea every single night tho.and he is my best mate in the whole world,and despite all his fears has turned out to be a brilliant dad.he is also a creative genius and our company would be nuffink without him.

(bleeeeurgh)

God kid's tv is really SHOUTY

Just read the Tantrum thread in Discussions of the day - v funny.

Ski I see we've both been advising the woman who fancies the 22 yr old to get a-cradle snatchin'

gin I am a raddled old feminist (who was also emotionally abused by a wankery alpha male Ex, grrr) who has no time for what I see as 'Men's Nonsense' (obsessions with status, money, power, possessions, sport, cars, aggressiveness, competitiveness, can't be wrong, denying emotions, etc. - I realise this is totally stereotypical and is not meant to imply any alpha male DHs/DPs are like this) so my chilled, shy, beta-male YF is my dream man. He's manly where it matters (supportive, steady (my rock), dependable, calm, reassuring, mature, etc. as well as the boss in the bedroom, hehe), but couldn't give a shit about things most men like (sport, beer, etc.), isn't very ambitious, doesn't drink and does more housework than me, and is also creative/musical genius and is tender, silly, easy-going, sweet and above all FUN. And let's Ms Control Freak here sort stuff out.

Am I weird for prefering Beta Males? I'm far too oversensitive-yet-bossy to deal with macho types

haha Scorpette well we're both dirty ol' cradle-snatches so we know that subject! He is currently on the X-Box bless his little heart, I don't even know how to use the damned thing. I suppose I should go back and say - please accept that you will now need to make space for: X-box, rollerblades, "sports" T-shirts, "dance" music...

Right, this is my rant of the day: Has anyone noticed a rather disturbing fashion to put on as little weight as possible during pregnancy? I'm not talking the recommended 22lbs or whatever its, I'm talking girls who are past their due date (on another site I might add) who are claiming to be "beastly obese" having put on EIGHT POUNDS during their entire pregnancy... but need to stay thin due to a social function coming up in a few weeks. Now nobody wants to pile on 7 stone - but even Whitney Houston pulled that one off, but this is MADNESS - women are starving themselves during pregnancy and then congratulating themselves on "staying so slim".

Scorpette I'm actually with you on the Beta male front too. I spent years chasing Alpha males, getting pushed around physically and metaphorically pandering to their wishes. jailbait always considers my feelings and what we should do as a team. Tbh I think Alpha males can be very cocky and I'd be living on my nerves wondering if he's poking everything he meets or women are throwing themselves at him. Up with mediocrity I say! Other side of that coin is that he's ever so proud of my workwise - doesn't expect me to be either CTO or a "trophy" wife, nor is he threatened by my alleged success.

Oh god yes, so know what you mean about the alpha males. Mine is v manly where is matters to me, but isn't at all into status, power, being one up on the next bloke etc.

He does love to say "you're not the boss of me" every now and then. Swiftly followed by "yeah, you are really"

scorp am also a feminist...and just cos he's driven doesn't make him a wanker...he's a fuckin creative! And extremely shy.

I am absolutely not a beta woman,we are equals,which is fine by me.I just have no hope of keeping him under the rhumb and tbh I wouldn't want to.

I'm sure tyf is lovely,I wouldn't question that for a minute.I think we are poss both accidentally being rude about each others men/lifechoices whilst intending to defend our own.

I love Monsieur Gin,you love tyf,we both happy.

Ok my definition of dp being alpha must be wrong.

He is not a wanker!!just works fucking hard and cares about what he does.a lot.and doesn't like being bossed around.

Also if I am unusally grumpy with anyone today please remember I am stuck in the house (due to torrential rain) with a toddler who is in so much pain he keeps headbutting the floor.

Am feeling a bit ragged.

And also dp really is lovely,and the shyest person I've ever met,and I'm really upset that I have misrepresented him.

gin, I don't think you've misrepresented your DP. I think of my DH as an alpha too, mostly because he won't let me boss him around/nag him/ have my own way all the time! Without firm direction that is what I tend to do - I spent 5 years walking all over my ex, nag nag nag, he went off with a 21 year old in the end.

But although I choose to think of DH as alpha, he is actually soft all the way through, loving to the point of daftness, constantly snuggly and not at all ambitious (unfortunately!)

Of course no-one falls into alpha and beta categories do they, it's a spectrum, and a mixture of traits, and depends on how you define "strength" - crucial and widely differing, and really comes down to want you want in a relationship and what you want to focus on

• i.e. I KNOW I need someone to take me in hand when I'm being unreasonable, so I focus on that as one of DH's key traits and call him "alpha". Scorps needs someone who won't fuck her about so she focusses on her YF's softer side. You value that your DP has worked his arse off to make a success of your brilliant company so you focus on that.

It's all good. Innit?

gin I'm sorry but I can't massage you right now, I'm interviewing those fuckers who submitted their crap application forms last week. Maybe this evening?

extreme happy birthday!

Choos I am totally not talking to you now that you've started SWI and hence left me alone on my fence of indecision

VAG budge up, shift the skanky tissues, I'm geting under the bed of fear with you.

Happy Birthday extremesitting. Here's a bottle of Moet and a pink cupcake with a sparkler.

SkaterBoy is neither an Alpha not a Beta male but more of a lone wolf. Has some close friends and is confident in groups but doesnt run with a pack. For example when he went on guys holiday and everyone else decided to go to a strip club, he opted out and peer pressure be damned.

"Choos I am totally not talking to you now that you've started SWI and hence left me alone on my fence of indecision"

TTC, you know you want to!

Lyra I still yearn for the Fence of Indecision but my other half got me pissed on Pol Rodger and DARED me to.....and I has comsumed enough to think fuck it, we'll have a go.

I'm quite prepared for months of nothing happening and completly confident that my shrivelled, gin soaked overies and dusty womb will produce nothing but RTOD or the menopause.

So fairly laid back about it all apart from the the almost sleepless night on Monday when I had unprotected nooky for the FIRST time in 38 years and paniced that the said sperm were invading parts that shouldn't be invaded and my poor egg was being chased Benny Hill Style round my inner workings!

Jesus - nutty as a frirt cake...

FRUIT... god Fruit cake

Aw gin, I wasn't trying to criticise your DP at all. I was just putting forward the case for Beta-males, cos I thought I'd made him sound a bit wimpy and pathetic and he's not. Think you were right when you said "I think we are poss both accidentally being rude about each others men/lifechoices whilst intending to defend our own". That's the only problem when writing on here - you can't hear a tone of voice so things can often be taken the wrong way Your DP sounds lovely from what you've said about him. TYF is also v committed to his job and like Lyra kinda said about her fella, he firmly stops me being a hysterical cow if I start to lose it, so I guess that's pretty alpha too Lyra is right that it's a real spectrum - just like how I'm sure we're not all foul-mouthed, bitter BESH-hags all of the time. Are we?

One good thing I'm getting from people talking about their DPs/DHs is that each of us has found the right man for us - for most of us, I bet that's after having to work through quite a few gits/bastards/arseholes, etc. If and when we all do have sprogs (and in Gin's case, a 2nd), we'll hopefully have a really loving, stable environment to bring them up in and a strong relationship to keep us going through all the hard stuff. Oooh, get me, I've turned into Claire Rayner or summat.

Grrr to the twats who put on about 3 lbs when they're pg. I mean, I hope I don't put on loads (I'm already at least a stone heavier than I'd like to be), but I'm not going to sweat it. Baby or skinny jeans, hmmm, it's a hard choice, isn't it? NOT

PS Thought my breasts were looking all veiny earlier when having a shower and was really excited... until I realised the harsh lighting was just accentuating breasticular stretchmarks. Hmmmph.

Do we need to start thinking about the next thread name?
Mid 30' TTC and artists formally known as BESH TTC - Gin Palace and Spa Resort

Scorpette there's definitely something to that - we all seem very happy with our chosen parent-to-be. Sometimes when I look at the Relationships section it makes me want to pull my hair out. I'm just back from the stables and OH has hoovered the entire house, cleaned the kitchen and was nursing little-dog who appears to be sick. Suck on that traditionalalphamale!

haha to harsh lighting ginhag

Fruit cake, did somebody say fruit cake? hmmn?

longwee what do you miss from the UK? For me I've been away 10 years now and the one thing I can't get for love nor money are hot cross buns. But it's probably just for the best because IIRC Tesco used to sell about 10 for 65p and I'd have eaten most of them by the time I was out of the carpark.

Oh agree re the relationships section. it makes me v sad

And then it makes me feel v smug because my man is lovely.

choos love your benny hill style egg & sperm chase. So know what you mean about the unprotected sex thing though. After having been taught for so long about how Wrong it is, it feels so odd doesn't it!

choos & cosmosis yes, fecking years of pumping our bodies full of chemicals & spending a fortune on condoms - then you start having unprotected sex willingly and nothing fecking happens!

I at least want a mild dose of the clap. NOTHING!