Mid 30's TTC--Gin Palace Two: Spawn of the BESH

[SarahAbroad]

Hey all...

Hope this thread name is okay...just moved the Gin Palace around the corner before we ran out of space!

See you soon. The bar's open!

PS I would think the docs will want to wait for the spunk results, so you've got the full picture before proceeding - no point you having your eggs encouraged if there is no warm bath full of straight-swimming swimmers there to catch them

e.g. I've got a friend who had rubbish sperm but it was easy to sort out, whereas you can only have Clomid for a limited number of months so they won't want to "waste" any on dodgy spunk, they would want to fix that first.

Cheers Run

I too have had the multiple bloods thing done. Luckily I have been an unemployed loser for the duration, so I haven't had to worry about disguising my absence. At the last round the doctor said to just ring in for my results instead of hanging around surgery all day. When I called the surgery to talk to her the man who answered the phone shouted loudly for all to hear: " Ah yes Mrs. "X" you have ovulated this month". Thanks. Thanks for telling the world...

I have not been back since, but I did receive OH's sperm catcher and paperwork through the post. Not sure if he is supposed to deposit now or the hour before his booked in appt. [Note to self: Must ring and find that out. Could be most embarrassing for him to have a meeting with someone who knows he's had a wank in the last hour.]

I guess when we have his results they will decide whether to put me on Clomid or equivalent. My doctor is lovely but she is very vague and my head goes empty when I see her for fear she tells me something I don't want to hear!

X posts!

Glad to hear the tadpoles are easy to sort out. Am a bit concerned as OH is 40 and a heavy smoker, not that I am ageist or anti smoking, but both are supposed to be bad news for the mini invaders.

sitting OH must wank in the pot the hour before dropping it into the clinic. I'm sure you think he's superman and all, but not even heros' spunk lasts forever

My bro is a salad and veg dodger, mid 40s, heavy smoker, heaver vodka-er/cider-er, and had 3 recently in VERY quick succession (well, the third is still cooking) if that's any comfort.

Hope that didn't come across as pride in me bro' by the way. The opposite, believe me.....

Yes but your brother is Irish. Irish men can impregnate with a wink and a smile.

Was more coming from the angle of: Does he deliver the "sample" like, next week, they do the test and give him the results at the apointment OR does he "fill his cup" then drive like a loon at high speed to the clinic, probably with his zipper still down and shake hands with the doctor on arrival? I'm not kidding. That man seems to have a problem remembering to zip up his pants at the best of times...

Thats Bollocks Skate I'll join you!

Also sorry dontry, just read your advice back and noticed that you had more than covered my query. I guess I'm just a smidge concerned about this wank/ high speed drive/ have a chat with someone who knows he's just had a wank. Think its probably best if I'm out of the house that day...

Skate Sorry to hear it

I too am having weirdness - my cycle and ovulation are always 99-100% predictable, I always know when I'm ovulating, but this month there seems to be no sign of it . The last time I didn't ovulate was Dec. 1997 when my Granddad died and I was heartbroken and the stress made me miss a period. WHAT'S GOING ON??? Because of horrendous work shite, me and TYF only had hot sex last Sunday and then again yesterday* - did I somehow get pregnant cos of last weekend and I ovulated early and didn't realise it (absolutely mentalled it at the gym and on the powerplate last week, so hope that wouldn't mangle a potential foetus)? Am I just going to ovulate late (and if so, why? WHY?)? OR - and this is what I have been freaking out about - what if last month was my last ever fertile cycle and I've missed the boat (so to speak)? Ok, so I have gone mental. But my perfectly-functioning menstrual cycle was my one (smug) ray of hope in a post-BOD world where everyone and everything seemed to be telling me I now have dessicated and cobwebby ladies workings

Tell me I'm being an absolute twat and I'll ovulate soon.

*Telling TYF that as of this weekend he had carte blanche to sex me up as often as humanly possible how he wants it, backfired on me somewhat; was woken up at 7.45am yesterday by overexcited YF with an expectant grin on his chops and an erection the size of Poland. I'm crap in the morning at the best of times, but I managed to inflame his ardour further by uttering phrases like 'Don't kiss me, I've got morning breath', 'I'm keeping my earplugs in cos I'm going back to sleep straight afterwards' and 'don't touch my nips too much, it's waking me up'. I don't think I even bothered lifting my knees up. Anyway, it was quite good in the end and I then dozed until 10.30! When you have romantic, rose-tinted daydreams of how your children will be conceived, that is NOT the scenario you imagine.

Bottoms up!

For the record, courgette cupcakes sound yummy.

You are being an absolute twat.

lmao at Scorpettes hot-pumpin-sex-action story!

But in seriousness, are you still peeing on sticks? Sometimes I can chase the little bugger down if I work my way through a whole pack of OV sticks. Sometimes I don't ovulate at all in a month. That is apparently quite normal. But I assure you, the next month all is well again. I know how frustrating it all is, speshly when you've put a lot of action into play. We'll get there in the end

[wrestles the bottle of Baileys away from Skate and has a swig herself]

I've been using the ovulation tests, yeah, but only getting the dark line and a faint line. I think the problem is that the start of my period is always unclear - I have 3-4 days of 'rustiness' (that horrible browny or pinky discharge, sometimes with a little blood), then a day of light bleeding, then a full-on day with Satan's Own Period Pains then another 2-3 of normal flow. TMI?

I always counted my first day as the first proper day of bleeding (ie before the 'Day of Agony' as I call it), but an evil nurse I spoke to when given a smear test recently told me that as soon as anything with a bit of colour appears, then that's Day 1. So by her reckoning, ovulation should have been today or yesterday. But if I trusted my own bloody instincts and knowledge of my own body, then it prolly will be Tues. or Wed.

Aaaaargh, the stress of it will be enough to stop me ovulating!

extreme if you don't ovulate, do you still have a period or a sort-of one? Have never had this issue before.

Is it wrong of me that I don't want to get pregnant next month as that would make the kid a Gemini? Every time I meet someone and I absolutely hate them, they're a Gemini (or Aquarius)! Yes, I am mad. Absolutely mad. I am a highly-educated, 36-yr old Atheist fretting about star signs. For shame!

Everyone on here is going to tell me they're a Gemini now, aren't they?

Hi gang - my god, how much do you lot talk?! Honestly, I concentrate on work for a few days and look what happens?

Just thought I'd sway drunkenly pop in and say I'm trying to keep up with y'all but I'm clearly not speed reading fast enough.

No news from nocoffee's weird and wonky period land, but the RTOD is allegedly due on Friday so here's to more PMT/preggers symptoms to keep me guessing.

scorpette you're not alone: Didn't want a late March/Aries baby - for Hitler reasons - until mother pointed out that Shakespeare was also Aries. DB's family is fraught combination of delicate Piscean flowers and shouty Aries megalomaniacs, with barely a fortnight between them. Thus happy to skip last month and start again on drunky, foody, shag-happy Taurus babe.

(Am highly educated 35 year old too. But a lifetime's glossy mag horoscopes is a lifetime's glossy mag horoscopes. Plus am gullible Pisces.)

Scorps, what the fuck do I know, but I'm pretty sure that fertility friend says day 1 is the first day of red blood flow. I too have about 3 days of rustiness and if I counted that my period would be about 10 days long!

extreme, re the spunk, think I it takes a tadpole about 3 months to get through the system (I envisage it like a very long conveyor belt), so if yer fella became a paragon of virtue today, the little blighters could be popping out all sparkly and athletic by Halloween! Isn't it a bastard that all our eggs were made before we were born, so bugger all we can do to influence their quality. Not a happy state of affairs for us control "specialists".

What the feck are we talking about ovulation for?! This isn't a REAL TTC thread ya know!

sitting I'd check with them about SIC as may be different in Sussex to where you are.

My sprog is due on my birthday. How wonderful.

fig Glad to see am not alone in Horoscope Madness (waves at fellow Water Sign). I was a bit miffed TYF wouldn't TTC at end of Feb/start of March in order to give me a Scorpio baby! Me & him are both Scorps (hence the name, of course), so I wanted to make it a hat trick! I also wanted a Pisces baby (beloved Granddad was Pisces), but as long as it's not an Aquarius, I'll be happy. My god, I think I need serious pyschiatric help

Lyra But we can control our men in other ways: TYF doesn't smoke and rarely drinks, but I've made him switch to decaf coffee (even though he only has 2 cups a day!) and made him get a special gel seat for his bike as he cycles to work every day (40 mins, each way).

And if fertility friend says the 1st day is the first wave of the red tide (of doom), not the 'rustiness' then that's good enough for me. So will prob be ovulating on holiday - bloody fantastic!

Might not be around as much, cos am not taking laptop with us (but have internet on phone) - hopefully will fit in some time to see Brighton between shags (will even lift my knees up and take ear plugs out - what a sizzling hot vixen I am!). Try not to get too sozzled without my calming influence...

HA!

Yo yo fuckin' yo.

Am back.was v nice weekend,drinking some strange Bulgarian spirit with mum n dad (they're just back from a road trip..)

anyway,great to see them,had a lovely rest...

Got back to heat another fucking friend that wasn't even trying back when I had the mc is now pg (2nd kid).

I feel like a twat complaining to you lot as I know am very lucky to have mani the small.don't think this would be as wanky fucking shit arse hard if I hadn't already got pg,and bloody made it to 12 weeks.it has totally skewed my perspective.

Sorry am blaaaaah and me me me again.didn't pick up on much from past couple of days except that skater has RTOD so am sending a dead leg your way in a sympathetic kind of fashion.

RTOD due for me,oh I dunno,soonish??maybe wed,prob not til weekend.am actually going to be stupidly pissed off if not duffed this time.

Am very highly strung this evening.may cry,or alternatively hit something very hard.

To hear

I have not been heating anyone.

Hey Scorp

Always have AF visit, whether I OV or not. A friend of mine also told me to count "rusty days" as the start of things, rather than waiting for "the shining" horror.

As for star sign related terror, my OH is an Aries (I'm a Leo) so according to wank star alignment we are compatible, though not first choices My mother and my sister are Gemini's. Love 'em to bits but not sure I would want one of my own!!! Given the choice I would have a Gay saggyhairyarse, but I can't say I'm willing to wait 'til the end of the year for some results!

Am going to leave the gin bar now to bother my darling dearest for the third time today. If nothing happens this time I am SO over this shit. Had lunch with a hot little Kiwi (why do I love them so) whilst eyeing up a couple with a toddler. Serious horn mixed with the fear of things to come... I could so easily go back to sitting on the fence today. At least OH is on track. This whole SIAC angle has brought on a new enthusiasm previously unseen in our house. Sleep well my lovelies, I know I do now that I have somewhere safe to rant!!! x

Morning all, hope the hangovers aren't too bad.

skate sorry to hear about RTOD, manly backslap on its way.

Like gin I'm due RTOD any day. Currently CD32, average is about 33 - 34 days. So I'm at the obsessive gusset checking stage. Oh joy.

I never thought I'd be glad the way my RTOD appears, but your days of "rustiness" sound a nightmare. Me, its 0 - 60 in the space of seconds, no doubt which is my day 1.

scorp I hear you not being a morning person, but I was woken up at 7am yesterday by a text message from friend saying she'd had a baby girl. Obviously thrilled for her, but..............

On the smug hand mate is tiny & the baby was 9lb 2oz .

On the brave hand, if it didn't kill her I'm thinking maybe, just maybe, me & my childbearing hips & wizened old fango might just be able to do this.........

OK, off to check gusset & drink some water, funny taste thing going on today. Symptom of PG or craziness?

Wanders in, bleary eyed. Morning all, good weekends?? I was staying with a school friend and another school friend. Top weekend. there's something really special about being with people you've known for 30 years - you can totally cut out the bullshit. Still nice to be back with the fella.

ginhag to balance out all the boy bashing, I don't want girls, they're all pink and bitch. Deffo boys for me please. Also, re the names, 1st boys name already picked out as we have no choice on the matter - family tradition. Thankfully they are also both names that we both like v much, so thats all good.

Less than 2 weeks till BOD now, oh joy.

Hey y'awl. Sulking this morning as have just found out that recent addiction to iced coffee and recent plumping out and feeling cruddy and sluggish may have something to do with the massive calorie content of said iced coffees.

Am also feeling very fed up with this conceptiony stuff. I honestly do not think it will ever work for us. So I may be a bit quiet this week. I'll probably still be lurking though.

Re: astrology - you bunch of nutters.

Hi everyone - I'm all refreshed and "lentils and Beans" having spent the weekend in the country and visiting a fully sustainable organic market garden business. Very inspirational - I've seen the future and it involves a pig!

Have the RTOD so it could just be lack of blood to the brain or the vast quantity of parsnip wine consumed...

oooo but it was lovely ...

VAG always knew coffee was the devil's brew... stick with Yorkshire Tea or PG in a push.