Oh, I have fears, but broodiness over-rides them. My fears are: that I would die during labour. That I would keep having MCs and never have an actual live child of my own, ever (happened to my Aunt). That something would happen to make me disabled, like severe SPD (one reason why I want to refuse an epidural). That the stress of a baby would drive me and TYF apart (we're on of those sickening couples whose lives revolve around each other).
And am also really scared of having to have an episiotomy - although this is my Mum's fault for telling me horror stories of hers (sexist evil Dr sewed her up too tight after my birth 'for her husband's pleasure' and required TWO fentons, then my brother was a transverse breech, had to be turned internally BY HAND and had more than one eps to allow for this ). It's the thought that they use scissors - the thought of the outside blade of the scissors going into flesh makes me feel freaked.
I also have fears you're not supposed to admit to: scared of having badly disabled child. Also, my Dad has mild AS (we think Gran has it too) and am also worried a child might inherit it (though me and my bro didn't). Am not a terrible person, honest! And am also scared of having a son first - I know I sound mad, but my little brother made my life a misery: nowadays he would've been diagnosed with severe ADHD. Was also a Playleader for years and just got really fed up with the thoughtlessless, aggression and obsessiveness of boys. Am also a v emotional person and people who are inarticulate about feelings drive me mad (ie most men, inc TYF). Sorry ginhag, am sure your small is lovely, as are lots of/most little boys - like I say, my brother has tainted things in my mind . Am mostly scared I'd be a horrible mum to a boy, like stifling his natural exuberance because it reminded me of my brother - think if I'd already had a daughter, I'd then have no illusions over how difficult and boisterous kids can be . What makes it worse is that TYF is the middle of 3 brothers and he is one of 56 (yes 56) cousins - only 13 of them are female! Eeek! So I'm scared of having a boy first because I'd then think I'll only have boys - a boy after a girl would be fine. Like I said, am a bit mental about the issue
I know you shouldn't say you have a preference for one sex and just by saying it I've jinxed myself into having male quadruplets, but hey, if you can't say it in The Gin Palace, where can you say it?
Okay, so I DO have lots of fears! But still want a baby - roll on ovulation
PS sorry I always write loads