The Hut of Gl/Doom... Please don't ask about our reproductive plans as a smack round the head with TCOYF often offends

[OracleInaCoracle]

new thread.

for those who are having problems getting pg

or staying pg

or are simply fed up of being told to relax and having to smile and say "you never know"

hi rainbows, how are you doing? all a bit odd here, ds is 5yo tomorrow and we are redecorating his bedroom and sorting through all of his baby toys. its making me so sad. im also having the odd flashback to the days leading up to his birth. not good. however we are still here and tomorrow is another day!

I am getting more and more of the opinion that I should forget my deadlines (which would mean stopping NOW) and just see what happens. No medications, no planning, no timing of sex, just forget about trying to get pregnant and just allow it to happen and face the consequences. I mean if I have gotten pregnant 6 times in less than 2 years, then it is fairly likely to happen again (as long as we have unprotected sex!), and maybe, just maybe, a good egg will meet a good sperm and my body will do what it is supposed to do????? Is this possible??? I don't know.

Well I will know soon enough the answer to my previous question, 'cause: "whoops we did it again", one go and yep, two lines on a stick again. I am refusing to acknowledge it this time, as it is early days and right now I am not ready to start even think about getting excited.

AF not officially due til tomorrow, but almost immediately after I posted, I got bleeding and cramps. So I guess I will chalk this one up to af coming 2 days early rather than a chemical pregnancy.

oh sweetheart

its lissie btw!

My faint tests have disappeared to a shadow, and so I am trying to pick myself up and get my emotions and thoughts back into some semblance of normality.
Sorry to read on fb that you had some nastiness on a different mn thread, I am glad you are still here.

i feel sick for you. its not fucking fair!

thank you, im getting a bit disillusioned with mn at the mo, this dp stuff has really pissed me off im so close to leaving because of her.

Hi all,
I thought I would pop in here to bang my head off the wall, discreetly, away from the windows of the other threads.
Rainbow you're here! That's nice for me, but perhaps not so much that you need to be here at all.
Even though we had a frozen embryo transfer last Saturday, following a second failed IVF, I have no symptoms, just like the first two failed cycles.
I probably seem very ungrateful for complaining when I don't even know, but feel so sad, just going through every emotion at the moment.
I'm on the fabulous forties thread and have been on since the start, which must be two years ago. It's a great thread, but I have seen so many people come and go on there that I really feel like leaving it before the next group arrive and go through all the introductions. [collapses in pathetic heap, clutching bottle of gin]

its v disheartening isnt it? thats why i now avoid all ttc threads. sick of being left behind. how long have you been ttc?

Can I also sit quietly in the hut for a while, my 3rd mc was confirmed on Friday, we'd actually got as far as seeing a heartbeat this time and on Monday everything was measuring spot on for my dates. I think I'd rather have not seen a hb Monday than have one day of fake hope.

Dreading ever trying again. But we've been going at this getting on for 3 years trying for our first and I don't think I can give up.

oh claire, im so, so sorry!

Hi again,

Claire I'm so sorry to hear that, such a difficult thing to go through.

LOTGK thank you for the hairstroke, that was so nice, I needed that.
It is actually strangely nice to talk to somebody who understands about sitting around on a thread while people come and go.

Yes it is awful isn't it? Nearly everyone has graduated from my conception thread now there's just a few of us long term ttcers left on it and it's so quiet now but I don't want to join another thread and see everyone getting their BFP's. You sometimes feel like you're just there to make the statistics better for everyone else.

Claire that is the thing, you, sort of, know that statistically speaking, somebody is bound to have problems, but it doesn't make it easy, but it does make it more understandable.
I suppose it is human nature not to count oneself amongst the poor statistics in anything, from heart disease to cancer or whatever, but somebody will be affected.
Perhaps what this experience has taught me is that nobody is immune to health issues and I do have more of an understanding and sympathy with people suffering from ill health, because there but for the grace.
What do you do though?
Some lovely people have left my thread, and I miss them, but it's 'that kind of thread'.

that wasss kind of the thought behind the hut, i hate the person that ftc has turned me into. i have an elaborate "scoring system" for people who get up the pole now. and that system determines how happy i am for them and how upset i get. i avoid new babies and have panic attacks in mothercare, and behind it all i get people offering anecdotes about women they know of who ftc for 20y then had 6 sets of triplets within 5y. i know its supposed to make me feel better but it doesnt.

i get cross at people who moan about it taking 2m.

Yes, I get annoyed with them too.

I also get annoyed with the threads in the pregnancy forum where people are moaning about minor aspects of being pregnant. I normally keep it hidden but unhid a few weeks ago and was shocked there were threads with people moaning about their boobs getting bigger fgs. Some people have no idea.

hi ladies,

Can i hang around in here for a bit please. I too am on fab 40's thread and genuinely thrilled for all the recent bfp's, but I am so sad that i think our time may be up

I have cons on 10th June for recurrant mc but Tbh I don't think 4 is that recurrant compared to some, I'd prefer to look into if I can conceive any more, will try and talk to them.

Dh has put a time limit on this now aswell, given it till Dec when it will be a year since last bfp, and a year since one before that too. He wants to move on but I can't. lady how do you get your head around it? I just can't see it happening that I will think ok that's it then. I'm not ready.

It's all i think about, am trying to get a hobby, lose weight, look after dc's we have but I can't get out of this fucking pit that i am in.

aaggghhhhhh

thank you. As you were.

Hi everyone,
just wanted to say hi to Lia.
I hope the consultation starts the ball rolling and turns up something helpful.

LOTGK I'm not so much cross at other people, but kind of numb and recently have had periods of anger and frustration. I know what you mean about people who are 'deserving' I do feel more happy for them because I know what hard time they have had.

Claire I know this is very early for you, but have you considered going to your GP about the miscarriages, to see if you can be referred?

I feel as if I am going cap in hand to my GP about our problems, ridiculous really, I pay towards the NHS and am hardly a huge consumer of healthcare. However, there are some very sympathetic GPs out there.

Hi Lia and yes, hope your consultation goes well. I had two years between my first mc (Sept 07) and conceiving again and it's awful seeing the 'milestones'

rowingboat I have a lovely GP I am very fortunate, DP went and cancelled my midwife appt at reception on Friday afternoon and they passed a note to my GP for records I assume and he called me at home to say how sorry he was, to check if I was OK and to say he was on holiday this week but to come in the week after and he'll get me started with basic tests and a referral. I dug out my private health insurance stuff and I'm going to call them to see if investigation into recurrent miscarriage is covered.

I have a problem with my uterus (bicornuate) but what I read on the 'net says that it doesn't lead to a rise in early miscarriages.

I'm also overweight, was dieting before my last BFP and starting up again tomorrow.

hhrump.

Well I should not be here, but hey, another person I know full of glee this morning declared she is 8 weeks pg with her 4th. I immediately thought, wow you're brave announcing it to everyone already, then my second thought was - well not everyone gets to see heartbeats on scans at 8 weeks then miscarries...... the self-pity party then started. ARRGGGGG. I just want a break from seeing everyone else gloriously happy with being pregnant.

Phew, thank you for that, I feel better for ranting.

Anyhow....

clair sorry to hear you are having another m/c. although it is good to hear you have a lovely gp to be with you.

liahgen - I can understand where you are coming from with the deadline bit. My dh put up a deadline and it caused me more stress than anything. But when it came to the actually deadline, he backed down... men, sometimes they just don't understand.

LOTGK - have you got your appointment soon with dr shahata?

Hi everyone,

Clair do you mind if I join you on the diet? I really need to lost some weight and stop having so many 'treats'.
I'm glad to hear your GP is so supportive, really sounds kind.

Rainbow you did make me laugh with your breaking chair and did I hear the door slam?
It totally sucks, and is the hardest thing to deal with. [huge hug for Rainbow]

{seaside creeps in bringing bounty bars and a large jug of Pimms and slumps down next to rainbow and er broken chair}
Right well I am now reaching the completely irrational phase of long term TTC, I have just bought a Mia fertility spell (bought one when TTC first time and I did get a BFP, I am sure it had nothing to do with it but I'll try anything now.) I am also FED UP with sex. I am bored and much as I love DH I am over it, we really have not been putting the effort in the past few months but I feel like a petulant, sulky teenager. Do people really get a BFP after just one shag?

Anyway sorry for the rant, I really have no right to be so moany a I have one DS and am so lucky to have got him after being told my ovaries are those of a pensioner. And I know I am very lucky to have never suffered the mc and heartache that many of you have.

But the hut is a good place to just feel sorry myself for a while.

Bounty anyone? (sorry Claire and rb just saw you are trying to diet, will come back with something healthier, how about strawberries?)

Oooo.... strawberries for me please!

Well I went to the hospital today to be told that I am just plain old old.....

Conversation with very junior doctor went along the lines of:

"so you have had 9 pregnancies right"

"no I have had 11"

"and how many children"

"3"

So have you had more than 3 m/c in a row?"

"yes - 7"

"have you had any tests"

"err yes that is what I am here about"

"did you have blood tests"

"yes - all normal"

doc then flicks through chart a bit

"well the normal thing is to have blood tests then a scan"

"scan results should be in the file"

"oh yes, they show you don't have any cancerous growths so that's good news"

"also you have had children before so it is unlikely that you were going to have any problems there anyway. We would consider IVF if you hadn't had children before, but since you do, we won't be doing that"

"what about the results from the testing of the material from the ERPC?"

"what oh, um, ah......"

"oh it shows....um, ....I will just go and check something with my collegues"

"well it shows that there was trisomy 22, very uncommon, infact none of my collegues have come across it before"

doc then goes on to give statistics of down's syndrome in relation to age

"so really you are quite old, it is clear that you have been really wanting to keep trying, but it just means that you are very likely to carry on like you have been, as miscarriage and the risk of downs increases with age."

"what about progesterone, would you give me a prescription as my levels are low"

"well no, maybe if you get your gp to write to the hosptial we might do it possibly"

"so you are discharging me from this clinic"

"yes"

"bye"

So what do you think folks, shall I give up because a doctor said so???????

ARGGGGGGG! ps googling trisomy 22, it says that 5% of m/c are probrably due to it!

ffs rainbowdays that is terrible treatment I really don't know what to say it is that bad

hey seaside and thanks for the strawberries