Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 3 - all welcome

[Caitni]

Right ladies, time for a new thread.

And a big welcome to everyone . Here's to many more success stories and healthy pregnancies!

thanks Duplo and Londonlottie had EC yesterday morning and i think everything went well. They performed EC under LA and Sedation and to be honest i dont remember a thing i think i did ask them how many eggs they got and i think they said 10 but they told DH that we would be getting a phonecall today between 9 and 11 to let us know how it went so here's hoping that it isvery good news later on today

Thanks Islegrin for explaining the injections, big respect to you for doing your im injections yourself. You have helped to put it all into perspective for me! I hope it all goes well on Tuesday for your IUI- 3 follicles sounds good, will keep my fingers crossed.

LondonLottie you were spot on.. there was def a psych barrier, did my first injection last night with dh guiding me.. and thanks to everyone for their advice, did the pinching thing and took a deep breath? and it went ok. Felt a bit high afterwards and kinda proud of myself. Daft eh?

Duplo like you Id rather do the injections myself. Agree some men can be a bit rubbish around needles. My Dh went a bit green at the gills but he held it together because I needed him to double check what I was doing, my brain goes a bit fuzzy when Im nervous..

Roseca sounds like your EC went well, really hope you get good news today.

Cheers bluebell update on this morning the Embryologist phoned to say that 6 out of 11 eggs fertilized and i am booked in tomorrow morning at 11.15 for ET. Fingers and everthing else crossed for a BFP in 2 weeks. and goodluck bluebell with your injections i take it you at the beginning of treatment?????????? fingers crossed for you too

Hi everyone
hope it goes well tomorrow roseca best of luck! the worst bit about tomorrow is the full bladder! ooooooohhhhh dont know how i did not pee on that woman! hope you have some distractions lined up for next 2 weeks!
good luck you too bluebell injecting yourself is brave, couldnt have done it. well done!
Sooty how did scan go? hope you got good news. i know you said you would not get excited, but good news is better than bad isnt it?
hi to everyone else. sorry, i am reading everything very half-heartedly. have lost interest in everything. i was initially devastated after ivf failed, then i was ok, convinced myself that looking on the bright side would help, but it has come back to bite me i am afraid. fed up to the max. if it wasnt for dd, i dont think i would get up in the morning. dh and i at each others throats (figuratively speaking) tip-toeing around one minute, arguing about stupid things the next. pretending to everyone that i am fine. that is probably the hardest and most draining thing.

((((((((((((((((big hugs))))))))))))))))) to you Ailz. You've been so bloody brave it was bound to come out one time or another. It's sometimes easier to try and bury it a bit because it's all so bloody exhausting (and quite frankly - annoying) but you've just had a massive dissapointment, and with all the hormones, I'm amazed you kept it together so incredibly for so long. You'll be ok though. You and DH are strong and I'm sure you'll start feeling better again soon.

In work and boss lurking so better get off now.

Sooty - hope your scan went well today and that you had a pleasant surprise.

Caitni - where are you? What's the news. Hope you're ok.

Bluebell - glad all is well with you so far. Can completely understand the mini high you had after injecting. It's nice when you surprise yourself at your own abilities isn't it?

Hope the rest of you are well. xxx

Ailz I totally empathize with you!!! It's so terribly disappointing, but you try to force yourself to be ok with everything and be positive - then the backlash comes. Things hit me so hard the last couple of days that I was actually toying with the idea of not going to my IUI appt today! (crazy, I know - so the rational part of me is going to drag the irrational part of me to the doc's office today) I'm just tired of being poked, proded, cramps, and deep down I just don't think it's going to work (self-preservation). This cycle has almost been three in one - triple the scans, drugs and appts. I finally admitted how much of a foul mood I've been in (unfortunately that's not listed as a possible side effect - I checked, of course ) and talked it through with my DH. I feel better after talking it through, but there is still a dark cloud. My advice (and I'll try to take it as well) is to just give yourself permission to feel however you feel, and if talking helps - do that. Oh, yeah and lots of hugs with your DH - even if you are at odds, it does help because both of you are on the rollercoaster together, no matter how lonely it feels sometimes! You are amazingly strong, you will make it through this.

roseca congrats on your 6 embryos!!! Best of luck for ET tomorrow!

bluebell well done on your first self-injections, it does get easier... keep us posted on your progress.

LL how are the twins???

Sooty I agree with you on sticking with IUI - for much the same reasons we're doing the same. I also understand what you are saying about the alternative therapies, some are just downright enjoyable! An awesome massage sounds wonderful right now, maybe even some acupuncture.

Well, I'm off to make myself some green tea! Waves to everyone!

Thanks islegrin and summermagic. i just seem to spend my time sitting here wondering if it will ever happen. i know we all do the same. I can sympathise with trying to talk yourself out of going to appt! i actually convinced myself to quit ivf after one go. then sensible side of me decided to carry on.

cheers ailz and islegrin havent got anything planned really for the next two weeks apart from some serious retail therapy but i dont think i could afford that rite now. discussed it earlier with DH and he said we could do our own pregnancy test but to be honest i think i would rather wait although the temptation is there. I am dreading the thought of the full bladder though. will i have to be sedated again cause they tried twice with the canula and the first time it hurt cause apparently my vein moved and then blew which has left half my hand with a blackish coloured bruise but that is nothing compared to the look on my face when i said i was in a bit of pain so they shoved a painkiller up my jacksy that is like holy ground :-) I agree with islegrin ailz we are all at different stages you need to stay positive

Evening ladies

Sorry for being a bit absent recently - have been in internet avoidance mode.

Ailz massive hugs to you (((hugs))) - so to hear you're down, but grieving is totally natural. Isle says it much better than me about giving yourself permission to feel sad. It's understandable to avoid MN for a while but we're here for you whenever you want support and a place to just let this out. It must be so hard to be strong for your husband and daughter

Roseca congrats on your 6 fertilised - that's great! Fingers crossed for ET tomorrow (I was like Ailz and am amazed I didn't pee all over the embryologist!). It's amazing to watch that ultrasound and see the catheter putting the embryos back.

Bluebell well done on the injecting! You go! I found time went really quickly once stimming started - good luck for your scans and hope your follicles grow steadily

Isle hope the IUI went well today . But am sorry to hear about the dark cloud . It's good that you're communicating with your DH but this cycle has been so hard on you physically and emotionally, it's no wonder you're suffering. You always seem so strong on here, with so much thoughtful advice for everyone else, I know you'll get through this but it's still hard to ride the rollercoaster...

Sooty sorry to hear that this is converting to IUI . You sound like you have a good attitude towards it, but it still must be hard for you and your partner. Am thinking of you.

Duplo I'm glad you liked Ian - he is so experienced and sensible. I agree with Sooty that a big part of my acupuncture was placebo, bar the embryo transfer day. Also being able to talk to someone other than a doctor/nurse/husband about it was empowering for me. I was browsing FertilityFriends recently (I still lurk on the cycle thread) and they have a whole section on poor responders. Not sure if you've already checked it out but it could provide some info?

Lottie glad to hear you're not stressing about the heartbeats . Though not too good about the minor meltdowns with your DH...men can be rubbish, even (especially?) when they don't mean to be. Hope the nausea has passed though - are you into your magical second trimester yet?

Summer I was laughing at your son's great english! Maybe he'll be a teacher! Amazing that you first saw him at 7 weeks pregnant too...

Waves to everyone else - hope I haven't missed anyone as I've got a new net book with a tiny screen and finding reading and typing tricky!

So I had my scan today (alone, unfortunately, as DH has swine flu ) and Lottie I won't be joining you in the twins club but saw a lovely little bean, heart beating away nice and strong and regular . Am absolutely delighted and relieved, as was really stressing out about not seeing anything (hence the internet avoidance). Still have no real symptoms bar the dog tiredness so am hoping I avoid MS. I'm going to try and wait until the 12 week scan now, unless I have any bleeding or cramps and need reassurance

thanks caitni i think i might watch em putting the embryos back in if i find it too squeamish i can always close my eyes cant i? can DH come in with me for the ET?

Your DH will definitely be able to come in with you. You're having a dummy run aren't you? So you'll be used to it before you have the real thing, which is great. I found it quite emotional - and worth all the needles, hormones, egg collection etc

Caitni they did mention a dummy run for when i was having the EC because of my fibroid but dont know if they actually did it cause i was totally monged out but will ask them tomorrow morning when i see the embryologist how long does it take for ET and apart from drinking loads of water will i be able to eat something before hand and will i be sedated again etc? these are things that i forgot to ask them this morning cause i couldnt believe the news when they told me

Hi Roseca
Shouldn't be any need for sedation for ET - it takes only a few minutes, in and out quite quickly. It's very straightforward but lovely to walk in with no embies on board and walk out with them on board

roseca hope it goes well today, sure it will! i know you are in the hosp now so not reading, but i want to tell you to rest rest rest after! there is a lot of talk at the moment about women carrying on as normal after ET, a lot of books and hospitals say to carry on as normal, half an hour rest and all that, please ignore them. Seriously, lie down as much as you can for 3 days. Zita West says this in her book and she confirms my feelings on the matter. it is the best way to give the little fellas time to latch on. when will you ever get the chance again to rest and have an excuse too!!! good luck. email us from your bed to let us know how it went - and dont put a laptop on your lap!!! i am full of advice today! dont go near hot ovens or irons either - have no idea why.
Islegrin hope you are feeling happy today and positive!
Caitni fantastic news about scan! how many weeks to 12 week scan? i always forget, need a notebook to keep up! dont worry about MS. you statistically probably wont get it. of all the women i know who have had babies, i only know 2 who had MS, including myself. all the others just sailed through, fingers crossed!
Hi to everyone else! i am feeling better today - ovulating - according to my bodily signs. dh and i had very mini chat about stressing ourselves out and he apologised and said he would think before speaking in future! oops, he felt bad because sometimes he just speaks his mind about ivf, accupuncture etc and says that i dont take his opinion on board (which i do). i sometimes just think and dont speak and he thought i was dismissing him, i wasnt. but he doesnt realise that we ladies can feel a bit overwhelmed with all the options. we cant do EVERYTHING! i literally have so many options and numbers to ring, that i cant ring one! did you ever feel like that. one step at a time i think. had a dream that i was looking at my own positive pregnancy test on a computer and jumping up and down. how strange. maybe it is a sign! feeling more positive - hope it rubs off on anyone feeling down today. Tomorrow is another day!

Ailz had implantation this morning out of 6 embryos 2 were good enuf quality for implantation and the rest were of poor quality that probably wouldnt have survived the thawing process, i was on a high before i went in and then felt a bit gutted that we had no embryos to freeze easy to say look on bright side but you cant help wonder about the perished ones, we decided that the embryos that they couldnt freeze etc we would donate to research, our theory on this is that someone down the line has been in the same position as us and allowed us to get where we are, all we are doing is further advancing technology so that future IVF patients have a better chance but on the bright side we have two embryos inside of me so think i am going to lay down again

LL wow - time flies! Seems only 2-3 weeks ago I heard of the BFP news. I really like hearing about your progress, I honestly have no idea what to expect.

ailz wonderful dream - and as for your advice, I'll try to take it myself too (even though I didn't do ET, just IUI... still might help the little ones!)

roseca 2 embryos is a huge step forward!!! Don't underestimate them, in fact, from all of the stories I've heard on here noone has been able to freeze embryos even though they had hoped up until the very day of ET, so it must be fairly rare. Just concentrate on the little ones inside now, nesting!

Had IUI yesterday, for the first time it was genuinely painful. I suspect the doc was getting close to the tube and forcing a bit. Since my HSG last year was the same kind of pain, I tend to think it was due to my blocked tube - or not Anyway, there was a little bit of blood, but not much. And I'm back to normal today. Roll the dice and see what happens. roseca and I will be testing around the same day, I suppose. I've ordered some preseed (after hearing about it on MN) and hpt - should arrive today!

Waves to everyone else!

whoops - I should have mentioned... I'm much happier today, back to my normal self. Yesterday was a transition, but I've got a great outlook again. Not to discount the events of the past month, but I'm moving on. Thanks for all of your thoughts and advice.

Congrats on regaining your outlook islegrin, when I read your message about not wanting to bother with IUI I really felt the same. I am waiting to go in myself in a few hours, so hoping your new improved mood will effect me. This is my fifth IUI though, so I'm not holding out much hope. . . . still I have some questions for my Doctor, so I'm looking forward to seeing her.

Hey LL don't wish yourself fat too soon, one of my fascinations is those women that hide their pregnancy . . . there is an Australian women that gave birth three times and played water polo (yes in a swiwmsuit) at 8 months on two occaisions and her teammates didn't notice. Amazing. It only came to light because one of the babies disappeared. So I wouldn't worry as I recall you are quite tall . . . it doesn't mean there's nothing there.

As for donor egg . . . I think I just have a basic opposition to buying body parts . . . I don't have anyone suitable who could help out and so I would be taking advantage of someones need to make money on some level. Although I am a complete cynic and athiest who believes chaos is the only guiding force in this world . . . I think that if those of us who are infertile don't adopt who will ? They have a system here of foster-adoption, where children who are over 2 can be adopted officially (as their parents have signed away the rights due to their own problems). Somehow I can't get my head around those kids being in an institution while I fork out lots of cash and do something I feel is unethical . . . having said that my partner still has the option of having his own child, and we can't deny how that moves us too, and who's to say if that desire isn't also just as important. . . . Anyway we have decided to take a years break regardless.

Right, off to show my ladybits to the world again!

sootykalucy it's my 5th IUI as well, DH and I said we were going 6 rounds... so I'm feeling like I'm nearing the end of the line. But we won't think about that now - there is a tww to commence with!

Take care and I hope this is the month for both of us!

Hi all!
yes LL you will look like that and quite possibly bigger. i was a size 10 UK and was almost as big as that with one baby, but it is great! all that weight goes on in the last month or so and you literally sit down and watch movies, sit in the garden, read magazines and be waited on hand and foot! it really is the only time you will get to relax in your life completely guilt-free. yes it is nerve-wracking because you are walking into the unknown, but take deep breaths because the best thing in the whole world is about to happen in a few months! and you will be KNACKERED!!!!! it is quite normal to feel how you feel, so many women feel guilty because they should be over the moon, but they feel so nervous and almost out of control, because you cant predict what it will be like. yes labour is hell, but it is just one day as my mum told me, then it is over and you sit there and feel like you just made a miracle happen. dont feel bad for how you feel, dont be worried about the future because it wont help.
and as for getting big, i cant remember when i had a bump, but my sister is 5 months and her bump just came up out of nowhere over night recently. good luck with it all xxx

Now sooty you are going to have to explain about that australian woman's baby going missing - i have re-read it a few times and dont understand if the baby went missing in the water or was kidnapped or went missing in the womb - is this a stupid question? please i really need an explanantion!!!
I am with you on the adoption thing. i believe that i will have another baby, but i am determined to adopt at least one child some day soon. i have not done it up until now because we are moving country next year and i will get the ball rolling when i do that. i just think that future generations will look back and wonder why we did all of this fertility treatment when the world is full of abandoned children and orphans. i am afraid what the whole process will do to me though. i get broken-hearted by the thought of sad children. however i wouldnt tell anyone else what to do because i am being selfish and wanting the best of both worlds.
I just dont know how i feel about donor eggs, i think i would have to be standing in your shoes to have a real opinion. you are probably right to take a break, could be the best thing you do, i really hope it is. good luck with the ladybits today!
Islegrin and roseca i am ovulating today according to the little smiling face (he is so cute), so we could be sort of 2wwing together! how exciting (not really, as i force myself to get excited) Be positive as you can girls. we can do it! yes we can! i think i am healing, because i saw a woman wheeling the cutest twin new born boys today in the sun and i was really happy for her, i just sent out positive healing, burrowing, fertilising, swimming, sticking thoughts to the universe for us all .
how do people feel about natural progesterone creams? i am pretty certain, or i should say i know for quite some time, that i have a short luteal phase as i get brown spotting about 5 days before af, i have mentioned this to gp, 2 gynaes and anyone who will listen, but have never had any advice (other than google, god bless those google people) has anyone had any luck or heard good things?
Caitni meant to say sorry about swine flu, how is the patient? what a nightmare, trying to avoid it ourselves. hope you are well.
hi to everyone else

Hello all
Well am on day 4 of injections and beginning to feel the effects, have period today AND bloating, ov pain Anyone else feel really buzzy and awake after injections? can you suggest anything you can do to chill out? am regretting my decision to do them at night!
This is just a short post as dh is wanting the computer, just want to send good vibes to [roseca] and hugs to [londonlottie] - [ailz] is right, you have so much to look forward to, the best is yet to come and you will feel amazing when you have your babies in your arms, I still think whenever I have a challenge ahead "if I can do that I can do ANYTHING" .. its dead normal to have mixed feelings about it all. Oh and on the sleep front, it may be better than you think.. some lucky people get sleeping models!

oops still getting the hang of the stars and brackets thing..