Feisty & Fabulous at 40+ - the continuing adventures of TTC

[fruitbowl]

Erm hope this will do as a continuation thread. Hello to anyone new to the thread. All welcome... xx

Oh dear Kiwi. Hope today is better.

Hard to be amorous with someone you want to strangle, Fifi. If anyone has any pointers on this, they'd be gratefully received.

We're talking again now, though. The big Father's Day breakfast, card and present had a good effect.

Hard to be amorous with someone you want to strangle, Fifi. If anyone has any pointers on this, they'd be gratefully received.

We're talking again now, though. The big Father's Day breakfast, card and present had a good effect.

Hi everyone, haven't been around for a few days but in that time I've managed to get a BFP and then lose it . I guess it was one of those that just didn't feel right from the start but even so I'm a bit gutted.

Will try and catch up properly in the next day or so.

Oh Rockdoctor so sorry to hear that no words but virtual hugs coming your way! xx

All quiet in my world now the dreaded exams are out of the way - relative peace until October! Af due next Sunday and don't hold out much hope for this month - revision left little time for any effective bd'ing - on a happier note our no1 son graduated with first class honours - we are all so proud

Take care everyone - love and hugs
xx

Rockdoctor, so sorry to hear about the chem. pregnancy.

As for the babydancing after rowing, I know how that can be.The whole ttc thing gets stressful, but you don't want to miss a chance!
When we were ttc our baby I knew I was about to ovulate so drove 5 hours, after a long flight and being awake the night before and up at 5am. I got home around 8pm, was SOO tired, but still had to get myself psyched up for the wild thing!Blimey, that was difficult, and it didn't result in a bfp anyway!
I can't believe I did something so dangerous - shouldn't have driven home that night, but the desire for a baby can make you do crazy things.esp when we are over forty and the media are always telling you your time is up, which is not necessarily the case. My gp told me the stats used were from people seeking ivf, so not necessarily the general population.Anyway, time I got off my soapbox...

Dixie, you must be so proud of your son. What are you studying? How do you find the time? How many of you ladies are working mums?I'm trying to be a sahm, trying hard to do it, but financially it is tough, but don't want to miss a moment with my little one.I've got mat. leave til mid next year, so no hurry yet.

Hi everyone, me again. As I said, got a BFP last Wednesday but "AF" arrived Saturday morning and pretty sure I have lost it now. Mixed feelings really. I didn't have very strong symptoms other than non-appearance of AF so I guess I wasn't hopeful. I'm also relieved in a way that it's happened this early as I didn't want a repeat of last time (mmc at 12 weeks). In fact, I had no idea how scared I'd be once I saw that BFP so really not sure if I want to go through with it all again.

Silly me went traipsing off to the GP as soon as I go the positive test so I now have to cancel an early scan appointment. Question to those of you that have been here before - should I go back to the GP and tell her what's happened or just leave it?

Thinking I may bow out of this forum for a while. Holidays coming up will give us a chance to reflect and decide what to do next. Good luck to you all and I'm sure I won't be able to resist a quick peek at what you're up to every now and then.

As long as you've cancelled the appointment I doubt you need to go the docs.

Yes - know what you mean about being scared. When I thought I was pg early on in this ttc journey....felt terrified tbh.

Good idea to reflect on it.

Rockdoctor, so sorry to hear that. Hope you're feeling OK.

Rock sorry to hear your news - how aware is your GP of you ttc? Perhaps letting them know so it gets logged on your records might be useful?

Angifi I'm a full time working mum, not really any choice as I'm the main breadwinner. We do keep wondering whether DH should give up full time work as it's touch and go whether it's worth him working.

We're just bding as normal and waiting for the appointment at the fertility clinic which is 5 weeks away.

Sorry to hear your news, Rock.

Hi all

Yes, so sorry Rock. It's horrid isn't it? Sounds a good idea to take stock. We'll be thinking of you! Telling GP for your records sounds a good idea even if you just phone, if you feel up to that. take care x

Kiwi - hope things better with DH. I completely understand the strain this ttc stuff puts on the r'ship. I find myself obsessing about every tiny supplement, dietry requirement, date/ cm etc and then as you say, sods law you're not even speaking at the time you should be shagging! I don't think we're alone. Hope things straighten out x

How's everyone else?

Nighty night x

Hi everyone, sorry for absence, I have been having hayfever/sinus thingy and feeling yucky.
Rock, I'm sorry to hear that you lost your bfp. It took a little while to arrive didn't it! I wonder if the hormone levels weren't climbing fast enough, or perhaps it was a late implantation.
It's so hard to have this kind of failure, but on the plus side, you can get pregnant, which is great news.
Fruit you lush, I saw your post about being plastered. I tried to write trollied like this trolleyed and then realised it looked like I was saying you had troll eyes and I changed it quickly.
Kiwi, that is sooo typical of the pressure of bding, when you get all anxious about 'doing it' and your DP gets ratty and then you have a row and miss the crucial day. On the plus side you did manage a bd the day before if I recall... So this could be the month for the two little kiwis.
Fifi, I know what you mean about terrified. That is probably an accurate description of how I felt after the embryo transfer in Hungary, not all happy and floaty, but quite angst-ridden.
VSF hiii what's happening?
We have had an appointment with the nurse at the IVF dept and she reckons we may have to wait until there are three months between the last IVF and the new one. Lots of time to hang out in bars yay!
Actually, what I really mean is lots of time to obsess and take handfuls of vitamin supplements and other concoctions.
Also had the old AMH test so will hear today about that. Thank goodness I had an OK response to the IVF in Hungary or I would be desperate. Apparently, there are no tests which show egg quality, which is probably the main issue for we lovely, young things.
Back soon....

Just wanted to let you all know that I'm stll pg. 18 weeks. So far so good. Not bad going for a knackered old 42yr old.

Hi everyone.
Rock - so sorry. Have just been through same, having to cancel appointments etc just rubs salt into the wound.
BUT
I read Angi's post about The Infertility Cure. Bought the book; read it; was inspired. I have decided to try TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine). I don't want to do all the western interventionist/drug stuff... feeling I should be happy and grateful for the two I've got and not mess with my body. But I WILL try TCM and have an appointment booked in reputable Harley Street clinic next week. The over-the-phone consultation was very encouraging. They claim a 45% success rate with over 40s. 45% !!!!! Has to be worth a try. Will keep you posted.
Has anyone else gone this route?

And rainbow, so sorry too for you. I remember you supported me a lot about 6 months ago. I'm not giving up. Maybe this TCM is the breakthrough?

Hi again; I posted a few weeks ago announcing I was starting to try to conceive (age 42 and a half, one ds age 3). No luck this month (would have been pretty amazing to get pregnant the first month I try, though that did happen with DS); but am starting the ClearBlue Monitor thingy tomorrow morning (started my period today). The instructions seem really clear and easy to follow which I was relieved about as I looked into charting a few months ago and couldn't make head nor tail of it.
Really looking forward to peeing on my first stick! (weirdo emoticon)
Main prob will no doubt be trying to stay awake long enough to bother having sex of an evening. If I'm too knackered for sex, how the hell do I expect to cope with a real baby?!

I did TCM and acupuncture not solely to get pregnant. In fact went as feeling depressed and run down with strange stomach pains. Took herb tablets 4x a day (horrid they were!) but loved the acupuncture. Was pg within a month! Granted was younger then (42) but really feel it helped.

Good luck with it! not cheap though or I'd do it again!

That's good to hear. Agree it is not cheap but look at it this way:
The clinic I am going to has told me cost is max £300 pm x absolute max length of treatment 6 months. So total £1800
That is half the cost of one private IVF cycle.
BUT
TCM claim 45% success. IVF over 40 claims 3% success.
So half the price and 15 times the success.
If I was going to invest the money in IVF, then actually it is not expensive at all. Well, that is the rationale I put to DH, and managed to convince him on a financial level!

That sounds like a great result grownup. I'm surprised at the 3% result for IVF - my clinic has given me 15% success rate. Not great, but better than 3%.
Of course I think I have a better chance than that, otherwise I wouldn't bother, or perhaps I think I am amongst the 15%.
It's very interesting to hear about your result Fifi. You don't fancy going that route again?
I think this time I will contact an acupuncturist before the IVF, even if I feel more relaxed it's a plus. I have read that acupuncture reduces the contractions in the uterus which are common in IVF, apparently the contractions can stop the embryos taking properly.
What herbs where you guys prescribed?

The herbs are some mad concoction and have a chinese name so have no idea what they were! Big massive horse pills they were! 6 taken 4 x a day I think - something like that!

It's the cost rowing - they want you go go twice a week and that plus the herbs means up to £50 PW and just can't afford it. I had health insurance last time which paid for it.

Plus - though it worked for me, I did find the 2 practioners a bit scary! I suppose I could look for a cheaper option maybe.

Found out today that someone I used to work with (and don't like much tbh) is pregnant. Do I resent her? Yes. Am I ridiculous? Yes.

Plus in a foul mood. DH off work today and came in half pissed after meeing a friend for a drink in town. He's so irresponsible! If I hadn't been home early enough to pick DD up from nursery he would have had to go stinking of beer! I doubt they would have even handed her over!

Of course he's all contrite now....until next time. Idiot.

The TCM clinic in Harley street doesn't want 2 times pw. They say once per month plus herbs. Acupuncture is secondary to the herbs. Consultation £130; herbs £8 per day x 14 days (only half a cycle); later consultions cost less. Acupuncture is £70 but they say the seldom use it, and only very specifically to bolster certain things at certain times. I felt confident they were legit. The doctor spent an hour on the phone with me, going through things to ascertain I was a "good case" before even letting me make an appointment.
In part I am going by early experience. The father of my best friend at school was a senior consultant cardiologist in a major NHS hospital, so no quack he. But he was also Chinese and trained in China. For his professional practice he worked out of a hospital. For his FAMILY, he used Chinese medicine and ran a herbal practice from home. Surely this says a lot for it - I know that he wasn't some looby-loo alternative type; he was a serious western doctor, but with another angle on things. I feel that if he gave it credence, it is just prejudice to dismiss it.

Am interested in hearing more about all of this. Hope you're all well.

Fifi, boo at your DH. I hate when my DP goes out for a drink and comes in all stinky and breathing on me. And then tells me I'm beautiful and all that drunken rubbish. So sincere!
I read about a herb called huang qin which is supposed to help to maintain a pregnancy, so I wonder if I could ask an acupuncturist about this herb. I suppose I would need an authentic Chinese acupuncturist.
Why were your practitioners so scary?