emmsy's new one... only one left...

[HappyandEiknowit]

hi girls

come on and get your pom poms out and help me get to the finish line

xx ei xx

morning ladies am i allowed back in???
i just thought i would pop in and see how you are all getting on
i a trying to get back into TTC mode and so
i am now wanting to get back in the saddle as i have (yet another) cycle to wait before i get my HSG!! the hospital called and cancelled it on thursday and had nothing to offer me this week so i have to wait until CD1 again so i might aswell make the most of the delay and jump on my DH at any given opportunity
i hope all you preggy ladies are doing well and all the mummies and babies are doing well too
xx ei xx

oh and fo ray im so sorry this is happening again i hope you are doing ok with all things considered
xx ei xx

Teehee thanks for the advice, I am really looking in to bf at the moment and am lucky that my sis's close friend is a bf counsellor so I plan to ask lots of questions of her if need be!! It sounds lovely that you can just stare at Noah for ages, it must be so amazing!! I can't wait to be doing that with our lo.

CriCri have a fab time in France!! Watch out for those sky high prices!! I'm still recovering.

Lola Welcome back!! I'm going to search your profile for holiday/bump snaps now! Hope they're there?? If not I'll be checking fb tonight (blocked at work!!!)

I have had such a positive weekend!! And I really must rave about the amazing ante natal course we were on; 3 couples, beautiful location, fantastic resourses and information lots of lovely 30/40 min relaxtion sessions, great techniques for coping with labour...just the most amazing weekend of learning I have ever had!! I really insist that ALL of you pg women book yourself on this course NOW!!!! check out www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk mine cost £180 and was the most useful spending of that money ever!

Pheew, that over, I'd better get back to teaching these y7s

one handed so no smileys or capitals!

where is everyone, so quiet in here..... (echos)

scully - you sound fed up, hope you feel better today. fwiw- choosing thewrong job is something my dp does and it annoys me too. plus the mothers's day thing would have really riled me. hang on in there - not too long to go.

ei- great to see you - glad you are getting back on the horse so to speak - only way really.

hi to everyone else.

exciting news for today - noah and i managed to clear a blocked milk duct. phoned the nct breastfeeding line and after their advice had to feed noah with his legs pointing upwards and leaning forward so his head was upside down. v/funny but worked straight away and he didn't seem to mind!!

Just bumping this into my 'threads i'm on'. Will catch up tomorrow - on my way out x

Hi Ei glad to 'see' you xxx

Have had a much better week so far, Tues lunchtime here, probably shouldn't speak too soon but maybe I just cope better without everyone around right now, I think I prefer the house with just dd2 and I, so much more peaceful
I have never heard that advice about clearing a duct Teehee but if it works, great I'll have to remember that, I was good at having blocked ducts with both babies
Went here for a coffee this morning with some other mums from school, same place we went for dd1's birthday dinner last month. Both girls love the playground

V quick post, feel like I am neglecting you all horribly I seem to be either running around, eating or sleeping and when I'm not doing those things I ought to be working, not that I am, but I feel even more guilty if I'm on mn if that makes sense!

Scully so glad you're feeling a bit better, horrid when life just gets on top of you like that. Fingers crossed some quiet time gives you the chance to recharge your batteries a bit.

Ei still thinking of you chick xx

Bella glad you enjoyed your course, not sure about the recommendation though. Afraid we don't have an extra £180 around at the moment, so I won't be going and I suspect a couple of the other pg ladies on here won't be feeling ready to start thinking about such things. Plus the commute might be a bit steep for Scully if she decided to join up So all in all I doubt we'll all be booking it - but glad you found it worthwhile nevertheless

Hello teehee - I think you should make a you tube vide of that bf tip - strictly in the name of helping the rest of us of course V impressed at one handed typing, how are you finding things now your DP is back at work? My DH isn't really intending taking any time off, just cutting down for a couple of weeks, so that could be interesting... I figure I'll just wait and fight that battle as and when I need to! (He doesn't stand a chance )

Right. Got to go to work. Don't want to. WISH I got mat leave... (Mainly cos I am a lazy cow! )

Lola perhaps my post about the course did seem a little pushy, I only meant it to be enthusiastic, damn exclamation marks always seem rude...sorry if I sounded abrupt Natal hypnotherapy and 'hypnobirthing' courses are run worldwide as the concept is an old one but you're right the cost is steep, I only afforded it because I chose to do it instead of the NCT classes. How was your holiday? Got a tan??

Scully glad you're having a good week so far...long may it continue

Teehee I had trouble visualising that method! Sounds great though if it works! Ta for that I'll stick it in the bf manual I'm creating in preparation lol

Hello Ladies

Cor, where do I start.....

Scully If it helps at all, the preg hormone fairy seems to have visited me as well . Spent Sunday night in the bath in tears. Just feeling very over whelmed by everything. Glad that you're having a better week. I know what you mean about having a bit of peace and quiet. Do your two just whitter constantly? Mine can't seem to shut up at the moment. It's just inane chatter from morning til night!

Ei Hello lovely chick. Nice to see you back. Hope this month kind to you. And if not, then hopefully tests will give you some info next month. Keep the faith my love. We are, as ever, here if you need a moan.

Mollie and Sparkly You've both been very quiet. Hope all going well for you. Not too much MS. Just enough to keep you occupied! Sparkly Did you find some mat clothes? Friend lent me some great skinny white mat jeans from Top Shop. You can order on line. Quite comfy actually.

Lola Have you got the holiday blues? Don't work too hard. How's Bump?

Fruity Where are you chick? I really hope you're not feeling down about BF and not coming on here because you don't want to bring us down. You've always been so supportive of everyone else on here. Come back and let us cheer you up.

TeeHee If it's any consolation, I found weeks 6 - 10 to be really hard work with both DD's. I think you're doing an amazing job. Does it seem like an endless round of feeding, pooing and sleeping?! Things seemed to get better from week 10 for me as they both got into a bit of a routine and I felt I could plan my day a little better. Libby also started sleeping thru from week 10. Bottle at 10pm, then fast asleep til 6.30ish. Bliss! Great advice for the blocked duct though .

Cricri Have a very lovely holiday. Hope Elise enjoys herself!

Mibbes Long time no hear. All OK with you and Evan?

Things very, very busy here. But it's all good. Builder busting a gut to get us in w/c 15 June. 8/12 weeks left for me. Am feeling very big now, tummy aches at the end of the day as do legs, ankles and back. Really want to slow down a little but don't feel that I can til we're back in the house. DH still on gardening leave so great to have him around. Anyway, back to paint colours and budgets!! xxx

Fruity Forgot to say, have you chosen where to go on hols yet? What a result . We've got 6 weeks in sunny Costa del Wimbledon this year!!!!

Bella I've obviously let the paint fumes go to my head as completely forgot to say hello to you. Glad you had such a great experience on your hypnobirthing weekend. Hopefully you'll be able to remember it all when you're in labour!!! I say this tongue in cheek as I couldn't have spelt my own name whilst in labour with DD2....I was screaming too much . Very good birth though.

Sorry, I am here. Pop in now and again to see how you're all getting on.

Keep getting these horrible resentful feelings. Don't see how when I've got two beautiful boys.
Resentful of women who can fall preg easily, resentful of women who can give birth naturally, resentful of women who have the right equipment to breast feed and seriously resent having to spend a fortune on formula and continually washing and sterilising bleeding bottles when I should be able to avoid all that
Also trying to get on with DP when I really don't like him very much.

I could do with a hefty slap actually. No right to be feeling like this.

I really need to snap out of it.

Perhaps someone could remind me how lucky I am?

hi ladies
fruity im sorry you have got these bad feelings building up have you had a chat with anyone about it in RL? its just that it isnt healthy to let the bad feelings build up as it could be a touch of PND which is nothing to feel bad about getting IYSWIM. sounds to me like you need a good vent and some more support {{{{{hugs}}}}} i will be the first to say there is absolutely no need for a slap for you you have every right to feel however you are feeling and it is important to acknowledge the feelings and work through them. you know where i am if you need a moan/vent/rant/shoulder to cry on xxx
georgie bet you cant wait to move into your house again
kate glad you had a nice break hope all is well with the bump
sparkly and mollie where are you two hiding?? hope all is well
scully hope you are ok your girls are absolutely gorgeous BTW i saw your pics on FB
hi to everyone else piper bella cricri mibbes and all our other lurkers
alls quiet on the north-western front
nothing new to report...except that DH has been made redundant again couldnt have come at a better time...really ah well could be worse...
xx ei xx

Fruity I had a quick peek at this last night and woke up thinking of you this morning, I agree with EI I think you should talk to someone it sounds like you are bottling up a lot of feelings that are perfectly understandable. Don't think you can't come and moan here, we are all lucky in different ways, I might not have the children yet but I have a wonderful DH and so on. Everyone wants things to be perfect and feel let down when they're not but it's learning to let go of that feeling which is the hardest thing to do. It might be that you feel better in a few days, but if you don't please promise you will talk to someone about it all. Has DP done anything specific or is it just general "not liking". Don't like to think of you being sad come and talk
EI So pleased to "see" you back on the thread my lovely
Scully How is your back now? And hormones? You sounded like you needed a hug, so sending you a virtual one.
Piper Glad your scan went well, lovely pics x
CriCri Hope you are having a wonderful time in France
TeeHee I love reading your posts, they sound so full of love and postively glow I so hope that will be one day
I have some strange picture in my head of Noah upside down on your (.)(.) very odd
Sparkly Did you forget to come back and post?
Lola Stop charging round and relax, how long up to the due date do you plan to work? Are you self employed then? I presume you will still claim SMP, I know its not the same, but at least it will keep you in maternity pads
Bella Glad you enjoyed your course
Georgie Good news on getting a date, you can do a countdown now, which will be first house or baby?? Just remember to take it easy when you can
Big wave to Mibbes & Emmsy

Well latest from me, had booking in appt with MW on Monday, she isn't prepared to send me for another scan even when I got so upset explaining why I wanted one and cried I am being referred to a different consultant than the last one I had, who apparently is nicer, so if that comes through in the next few wks she said to ask him for one. Well you know me not content with that I have a GP appt for tomorrow to force ask her if she can arrange one for me. I don't think I am being unreasonable am I?
I am going to book a nuchal scan (which my Mum & Dad have kindly offered to pay for) but (and I know this is going to sound harsh) I'd rather get an NHS scan in before it rather than pay to be told bad news And just to top it off everyone in DH's company got a ltr yesterday saying that they were being considered for redundancy and inviting them to a one to one on Monday, without his income we might lose the house so you can imagine how unrelaxed I am at the moment

Oops didn't realise my post was THAT big

Thank you Ei and Mollie, it means a lot coming from both of you considering what you've been though.
I might have slight PND. But what I think I'm really suffering from is CBFS (crap boyfriend syndrome)
DP and I have just had another massive row.
I soooo don't want to marry him. Been feeling like it for months and months. Kept blaming it hormones and hoped it would pass but it's not.
I hope my dad insured the wedding!
I've told DP I've wanted to split for ages. His only concern is that he won't get the children.
There is so much to think about now. No one wants to buy the flat so does that mean we're stuck with each other until we sell?
What happens when we do sell? I can't afford to live on my own. I'm going to have to finish childminding as I'll have to move back in with my Mum so I'll be more broke
It's a f*ing nightmare but it's gotta be easier to split now than to get a divorce?...............
Well, I've just been speaking to my Mum on the phone and have told her all about how unhappy I m with D P. Thankfully she was completely understanding and said that maybe we should go to Relate but if I feel it can't be saved then to cancel the wedding. I was so worried about how much has been spent so far but she said it's not a problem. HUGE weight off my shoulders. I think this is the main worry I had - I hate letting people down, especially where a lot of money is concerned.
Now got to speak to P when he gets home tonight. I really don't think we can save the relationship. Just thinking about being on my own with the children actually puts a smile on my face!
You all know how miserable he makes me.

Now back to you lot,

Ei I'm so sorry DH has been made redundant again
and Mollie I really hope the same thing doesn't happen to your DH! I really hope you get the scan.
Georgie You really must take it easy. I know you want it all done but please remember when M and L were babies, there'll certainly be no rest for you when this one arrives.
Teehee Well done on clearing that milk duct! I think I've heard of that little manoeuvre (sp?). Obviously works a treat
Bella That hypnotherapy looks great. Next time (when I meet Mr rich and nice) I'll do it too - hey, I could even do NCT too!
Scully I'm glad your week seems to be going well! That hotel looks fab

Right, I'd better stop neglecting the mindees................

Morning my lovelies

I slept (though not constantly) til 9.30 this morning!!! I have come to the conslusion that getting up at 3 or 4am EVERY night to go to the loo must be taking it out of me a bit, god knows what I'll be like if when I have a baby to look after! Think I was maybe a bit stressed too, for various reasons I don't need to bore you with (I'll just say work and cars and leave it at that ). Anyway, now I feel a bit woozy, but def glad to have had the sleep. Was alseep before 11 last night as well!

Cricri hope you're having a lovely holiday, looking forward to the photos when you get back!

Ei & Mollie I'm so sorry to hear that you have the added pressure of redundancy, or possibly redundancy, on top of everything else at the moment. Mollie I'd be exactly the same as you, worrying about the house, in fact I worry about ours with my lack of work atm, but you're honestly a long way off that yet. one step at a time my love, with this as with all things. I cannot BELIEVE your mw was she even sympathetic? Good luck with the GP today, and with the new consultant. FWIW, though I'm sure this won't be relevant to you, I'm pretty sure the private nuchal places only charge a nominal fee if the worst has happened. The place we went to wouldn't let you pay beforehand but sent out an invoice afterwards, and I suspect that was why. But you (or your parents) will have a nice fat bill from your fantastic healthy nuchal, so you're not going to save any money that way

Georgie hooray for the house and the new builders!! Can't wait to see all the fabrics etc you've chosen! Are you on complete paint and fabric sample overload atm? A good cry in the bath sounds totally reasonable to me. Am really glad you have DH at home atm to support you. Lots of love xx

Aghhh... all kicking off here, doors, phones etc... will be back in a it to finish xx

Can't believe your dh has been made redudant again Ei, what bad luck Thx for looking at the photos on FB, finally have a few good ones of dd2, without her running away from the camera or just not being still
Poor you Fruity, sounds like you have so much on your mind right now. You will know deep down if you want to marry dp or not, so if you know it's not right, you're better not go ahead with it. Who knows, you might sort things out in the long run, but it doesn't sound like getting married is the right thing to do this year. Also you have gone back to work so soon after having a baby, you really haven't had a break, from the stress of falling pregnant, working right up until Jack was born and then back to work already, you need a break I think
Have you booked your nuchal scan yet Mollie? Unbelievable you can't get one through NHS, but sounds like a private one is the way to go, to give you peace of mind. I've had 3 scans this pregnancy and it was only by the 3rd one at 20wks that I began to relax slightly more about everything. Thx for my hug too, you're right I did need one on Sunday
Bella, I looked into the hypnotherapy course when I was pregnant with one of the dd's. It did look a really good course and if you've left it so enthusiastic then it was worth it
Still finding that it doesn't take much to affect my confidence and have me questioning myself, about anything, lately. I'm hoping it passes sometime soon & that it's just my hormones being nasty.

Phew. Am back. What a nightmare. Literally haven't stopped since I was last on, spent AGES on the phone to the bank and cc company (joy!) and have hopefully sorted out our mortgage for when our fixed term ends, so have at least achieved something (even if I'm not actually showered yet...)

Fruity I crossed posts with you before, I'm so sorry to read what you're going through with J (seems more appropriate than "DP") There are no easy answers in any of this, but I think the fact that you immediately feel happier when you think of being on your own with DS1&2 tells you a lot... The only thing I would say however is that you should go to see a solicitor ASAP, just to find out where you stand. The problem may be that if J is the main breadwinner your entitlement could be a lot less due to the fact that you aren't married than it would be if you were and you divorced. I know that sounds crazy, but that's what a friend of mine found when she was in a similar situation. I've just text her on your behalf, I hope you don't mind, as I know she thought her solicitor was REALLY excellent, so I've asked her to forward me the details which I can send you via fb. I don't imagine that sol will be too convenient for you location wise, but I think she provides the first consultation free and it may be that in the circumstances she'd be willing to do it over the phone. Up to you, but once you have her details you can then decide whether you want to call her. I know this must sound like a big step, and I know how much you hate phoning people, but I really think it's important that you consider this. Do you own the flat jointly and if so are you tenants in common or joint tenants? That's really important. This is not my area of expertise, but I am more than happy to give you any help I can. I hope you don't think that by talking this way I'm giving up on you and J, I just think you need to know what your options are financially speaking. Sending you huge unmumsnetty hugs, looking forward to seeing you next month (if the meet up on 20th is still happening?) to make that a RL hug. If there's anything I can do you have my mob no. Take care of you and your boys xx

Scully it sounds a bit like you're in need of some of your own medicine. I know what you mean about the confidence thing, and it's a horrible feeling. Is there any way you can have a break for a few days before the baby's born? Sounds like your batteries could do with a bit of a re-charge before you become a family of 5

Bella no worrie about the enthusiasm, glad you enjoyed it! Think you're right about explanation marks though, they're tricky things. I always avoid them on sad messages as I'm never sure if they're appropriate or not, I don't know what everyone else thinks? How's your week going anyway? Are you around for 20th June if it's in London? You'll be MASSIVE by then

Teehee can I second what Mollie said about your posts. Am so happy for you that you finally have your gorgeous little boy

Have I missed anyone who's posted recently? Probably! Sorry! I know Sparkly's wrestling her her dissertation which I think is in on friday Sparkly? So hopefully we'll get her back after that Seems like it's been ages since Mibbes was around... where you hiding Mibbes? Hope your little Miblet is behaving himself

I am snowed under with diss but still trying to keep up even if not posting.
Fruity I think Lola has given you excellent advice. If you feel that he's the cause of your unhappiness then please start to think productively about what can you do to make the situation better. There's nothing wrong with gaining knowledge about where you stand etc. In fact, that's such a sensible thing to do given C&J. Am thinking of you so much and want to help in anyway I can. So glad you've talked to your mum and she's giving her support to you. Please phone anytime you need to chat. xxxxxxxxx
Ei Am so sorry about S's job. Just what you need. . I know you'll get through it. You know where I am too lovely.

DD off nursery today so no work done. Only a day left...oh dear.

Fruity Not wishing to stick my nose into your business and sound like a 'know it all', but having been through severe PND and divorce I really just wanted to give you some support if you do decide to part ways with J.

Kate has given you some excellent advice. Agree wholeheartedly with what she says. Only thing that I would add is that maybe the PND (if it is that) and your problems with J are inter-linked. One is setting the other off so to speak. So if I were you, I'd do a double pronged attack. Get down to the GP, have a chat and see whether they do diagonse PND. Get some meds (I found after various diff meds that Prozac finally worked for me). I'd also look at speaking to Relate/counsellor, or a very close friend, or your mum and try and REALLY work out how you feel about DP.

My divorce was fairly amicable, but even so, it was emotionally draining, frustrating and upsetting. It's scary to face someone that you thought you loved and battle about money, child access, house etc. But that said, I certainly feel that I made 100% the right choice for me AND Mollie. Just look at us now. I couldn't have carried on with ex-h and kept my sanity. There is nothing worse than feeling trapped in a destructive realtionship that is slowly sucking the life out of you.

If you need ANYTHING (good lawyers number, shoulder to cry on, cup of coffee, counsellors details) please just call me. I'm only down the road. I'm not trying to be a doom-monger. I just wanted to show you both sides of the coin. There's always a solution to a problem. You just need to decide (and for god's sake take you time) what you want to do. I found that once I'd made up my mind to get divorced, it suddenly became a lot easier. I had a plan and I knew what I had to do. ((((((Hugs)))))) to you. xxx

Ei So sorry that DP been made redundant again. What a f*cking awful thing to happen. Is there anything else that he can go to?

Mollie Bloody NHS are shocking. Can't believe, given your history, that they aren't a little more sympathetic. If I were you, I'd adpot my most 'american balls out bitch' persona and DEMAND one from the GP. Go on girl, give it to 'em both barrels. But, hope tht DP doesn't lose his job. When do you get to find out if he's safe? Not really the type of situation you want to be in a the mo is it?

Scully Blimey. Our pg's seem to be mirroring each other. I can totally empathise with how you're feeling. Shite isn't it. Can you slope off for a pampering day and leave DH with the kids? Maybe a massage, lunch and a movie with a good g'friend?

Lola I'll slow down if you slow down . Type A, anal control freaks unite!!!! I'd LOVE you to come and see the house when it's finished. Am hoping it's going to have that 'wow' factor. Infact, would love everyone to come and have a look .

Sparkly Good luck with the diss my love. Remember doing mine at Uni off my box on speed (to keep awake), chain smoking Marly Lights and with v loud music blasting out of stereo. Wouldn't recommend that course of action though . Maybe just a strong coffee and some Radio 4 .

Must go and eat before my acid reflux erodes my throat. Yum!

Georgie I hope I can use the skills from the course too, as I was at the birth of my niece and my poor sis was in agony, I could see the pain in her face (and hear it in her screams..bless) I have learnt that staying at home as long as poss is wise, would you agree? for you and your acid reflux still, poor thing.xx

Lola yes 20th June is a must for me, can't wait...massive indeed, hows your bump rolling on? did you flash it off in your snazzy bikini on hol?

Fruity my offer still stands if you need to get away; pop over anytime, I'm usually around and DS1 can let off steam in our garden whilst we put the world to rights over a cuppa...anytime hun, I get back from work around 4:15 these days!! and weekends are relatively quiet too xxx

Mollie fingers crossed for your DH really hope you guys are ok. x

Ei I'm so sorry to hear about your DH's redundancy, it really is very unfair for you both. I've always found that life peaks and trophs, so at this low time please get some comfort from the fact that you are due a big high soon

I am tired but excited about the upcoming months and the prospect of a baby this summer I'm feeling very blessed at the moment and not taking life for granted. I finnally feel like my horrid childhood has been worth something and I look forward to the future for the first time in a very many years. Hope my happy vibes rub off and that everyone has a good/productive day

Fruity I am so glad your Mum has been supportive, just what you need at the moment Did you speak to dp last night, I think you are really brave to make the decisions you have so far. Like Lola said though it makes sense to find out how you stand by seeing someone official like a solicitor. Hope you are OK today my lovely
Lola Have you had the car fixed again yet? I fixed my mortgage the other day as ours ran out in Sept, we've been on SIR which has been good but wanted to fix before it started going back up again but of course now we're paying more if DH loses his job oh well these things are sent to try us
EI Hope DH finds a new job soon, how are you feeling?
Georgie Had a good giggle at your "student" version of doing a diss, compared to a more sedate coffee and radio 4
Scully Sounds as if your hormones are really giving you the run around at the moment, hope it passes quickly for you.
Bella Nice to hear you sounding so postive

Well I didn't have to stomp my feet or adopt my "american balls out bitch" persona as Georgie would say. Doctor thought it was completely reasonable of me to want another scan, she did say she can't force them to do one, but she would ask for one on medical grounds due to my crazy anxious state but she wanted me to wait til 12+ wks so I would have more assurance, hope that's not going to be too late to book the nuchal? Otherwise I'll just book the nuchal and be done with it. One way or another I should get another scan in the next 3/4 wks, probably still be a worry wort then too