Ignoring the LIES, DAMNED LIES, and STATISTICS: Fiesty & Fabulous 40+ers TTC

[xserialshopper]

Open to all 40+ers TTC.

We're friendly - not cliquey (sp?) and would love to know you{smile]

Sigh...........AF just arrived. I wasted £7 on tests too! I guess my chart didn't lie.....

This is now 6th attempt at ttc, real misgivings about trying again next month but suppose may change my mind as it comes round, don't know really. I got pg so easily last time, granted was 41 then but am doing everything 'right'. I know am OVing so could be DH I guess but don't want to put him through testing and tbh nothing has changed since last time we were ttcing. Will just put it all in nature's hands now and wait and see.

Oh well - nice big glass of red coming up for me now!

fifi Don't give up. I think we just need to accept it's going to be a longer road for us than for the spring chicks. Hang on in there xx
For tonight, enjoy your wine at least

Nanbred stick to your guns and badger the gyne until you get the info you want.

Have managed 4 days alc free again. Trying to make the most of DH being away and storing up points for when we go to Brighton

Thanks juicylucytoo. I know 6 cycles isn't much but for us oldies, the clock really ticks loudly doesn't it????

Good luck in Brighton!

Sorry about AF Fifi, but enjoy the wine. I suspect you will be trying again next month. Fingers crossed for you.
NB I really feel for you, it is so emotionally draining and you don't feel it come on. Suddenly you are an emotional mess, and nothing to warn you. I share your mania.
The worst thing is when you don't know what's going on IMO. I agree you do need to keep asking questions and pushing, you will feel better for it.
Juicy good girl! What are you doing instead of drinking - jogging, eating low-fat hummus, reading poetry?
Rosebury, thank you for coming in here with your fabulous news. How lovely for you to have a tiny baby. Hope you are getting enough sleep (ha ha).
My news is that my GP rang me tonight and has done his best to get my second scan sorted out - I have to phone a number tomorrow, but it's a kind of short-cut, direct number. This way the scan and the gynae appointment will be combined to save time. I felt like weeping when he phoned because the whole thing is so tedious.
Wah!
I can't believe how weepy I feel since AF arrived. What is going on!

I always get lower after AF arrives. Just remember this is generally the lowest point of every month. Maybe that will make it easier to look forward Rowing.

I am eating CHOCOLATE of course!!! Houmous indeed

Thanks sweetie, I needed to hear that!
Chocolate hummus is it?

Hi, I was on this thread a tiny bit just before Xmas. I turned 42 in Dec (Yuck!) Am gonna try all these tricks I've learnt from you ladies- charting, ovulation kits, etc.
Got a underactive thyroid, just to add to the difficulties of conceiving at 42!!! Am upping my dose of thyroxine to try and get to optimal conception levels. Have a feeling it's gonna be unlikely I conceive but here's hoping!

Fifi sorry to hear AF made an appearance. Hope the wine has cheered you up. Rowing, it sounds so much better to have the scan and apt at the same go, at least you will get some answers without having to wait. Well done on the abstinance front JuicyLucyToo, am similarly TT at present! Nice to hear from you too peasoup, sounds like you are getting to grips with it all. Feels like this is the hopeful hut in here, we're all on the hopeful spectrum somewhere, which is where the feisty forty somethings should stay, IMO,that is until we decamp to the "made it" motel, or "accept it" apartment, and we avoid "basketcase basement" at all costs!

Well put nanbread, the hopeful hut it is ! I'm waiting for my gynae appointment still. Just a little nervous after reading your experiences but researching hard so that at least I can have a sensible conversation with them and ask the right questions. The Fertility Friend website is really helpful !

This month is my first attempt at charting, so its on with the light and out with the thermometer every morning at 6am ! - a little weird but going fine so far.

Fifi - sorry AF rocked up, enjoy your treats and good luck next time.

AF
I have decided the time has come for intervention. All my hormones check out ok. Temping is fine. Ov on schedule every month. Using prog cream and preseed. WHAT MORE CAN I DO??? I don't understand why it isn't working.
BUT
I am too scared to go to the Dr because I don't want to be laughed at for being so old (44, for those who don't know). I know they will laugh and tell me I am wasting my time. And as far as I know I am probably too old for clinics in this country anyway.
So what do I do? Where do I go? Any ideas? I am prepared to go to Norway, Hungary, whatever. I do NOT want to do donor eggs or donor sperm, I only want my own baby with DP.
If you have done research into clinics etc, can you brief us all here?
Also, here is an idea: what if I pretend to be my sister and use her name and birth certificate, so that I appear to be 40 not 44. Would they help me then? How would a private clinic know the difference?
As you can probably guess this message comes from deep within the desperation zone (not helped by being snowed in, off work and too much time on my hands

I think a private clinic would treat you at 44 though NHS probably wouldn't.

Not sure a great idea to use your sis' identify, you could run into loads of problems. I appreciate you're desperation though - I am with you there. How long you been trying?

Grownup, they won't necessarily laugh at you. I'm 44, soon 45 and the gynae we originally saw was not at all rejecting, and, sensing desperation, took me in for lap and dye more or less st away. Do you have a considerate dr? I think you should be able to get quite a lot of advice from NHS first.

I've had a look at the Fertility Friend website and signed up, but I am seriously having trouble understanding the charts. . Would it be terribly extravagent to go and buy a Boots Ovulation kit instead? Is that just as good as charting?

I use both peasoup!

I just had to go into Mothercare to get a few bits for DD and honestly I nearly started to cry! I found myself looking at newborn stuff and filling up! Never thought I would get like that. I think I never really enjoyed the newborn stage with DD and am craving it again.

Gawd what a cliche I am!

Thanks Fifi. Yes I think I'll get the Boots Kit. At our age no point waiting around, might as well throw all the technology and money we can at the project!
I can't get my head round the Fertility Friend Charting instructions- can anyone enlighten me? I think I just have a mental block when I read the instructions as it just looks too much like damn Maths homework!
Are there tests I should ask the GP for? I have scanned this thread and seen talk of such tests; what tests are they?
Also any advice re. conceiving with an underactive thyroid would be useful.

Hi Fifi - I've been trying again since mc Sept 07, so 17 months. But I have only been REALLY trying (charting and so forth) for 4 months.
Does anyone know about Norway or Hungary? I've heard they're cheaper, more flexible and the results are fine.

Peasoup - I'm new to this too but have just about mastered the charting thing. You are right, its really daunting when you first look at it. What I've started doing is measuring BBT every morning, and checking CM (a bit yuk but you get used to it). Then just enter those into the chart by clicking on that days date and save it. You can also add the results of OPKs if you like. Then it all appears on the chart ! Stick with it, it looks worse than it is. I have done the first three parts of the online course they email to you which explain the science bit really well

In summary:
OPK's just register an LH rise, which triggers ovulation, they don't tell you if you actually ovulate.
Rise in BBT tells you you have ovulated.
CM texture can tell you that you are about to ovulate (when it goes stretchy)
So really all three of these together are most useful.

Someone please correct me on this if I am wrong. I really am the beginner here. I've just done an awful lot of research in the last few days !

Re. OPKs you can buy the simple sticks loads cheaper on the internet, but as Fifi pointed out the Boots ones are easier to use.

P.S. Superdrug have OPK's on buy one get one free at the moment !

beamel - yes you are right, all 3 signs used together tell you your cycle pattern and help predict most fertile time and whether you ovd, when to test etc.

It's easy peasoup - honestly. Just take your temp every day and enter it on the chart. Their software does the rest.

OK, I'm going to have another close look at the Fertility Friend Chart thing and try to get to grips with it tonight once DS is asleep. Thanks Beamel that was a really nice simple summary of what I need to know. How exciting! I just must put out of my mind all the scary aspects of having another DC- like the fact that our house is still half a building site and the whole underactive thyroid issue. Also must try to put out of my mind how the hell I will ACTUALLY feel if I never manage to conceive another. I'll just go for it and see what happens

Take heart Fifi. You mentioned fertility treatment is out of the question. Dyou mind me asking if you have you definitely closed the door on this option? We have set a time frame for trying naturally. I think this helps.

Whats your timeframe if you don't mind me asking? I think I will stop when I won't be able to give birth in my 46th year iyswim.

I just can't afford fertility treatment.Plus dont' think I need it tbh. Only ttc for 5/6months which even for an older person isn't long is it? Just haven't got the luxury of keeping going.

Hi everyone,
peasoup, if you go over to assisted conception and all the bits in between you will get a lot of help with your questions about clinics abroad.
I have been considering going to Hungary, but cancelled my appointment because of this cyst and the bleeding, but I know another woman who has been there and speaks very highly of the doctor.

Hi Fifi

Our position maybe slightly different because we have no children already and are desperate. Because of the 45yr upper limit for some clinics for IUI ICSI IVF, we are going to arrange two consultations at one Mcr and one London clinic within the next 2 months. We will keep trying with charting,diet and pre-seed until we get appt or get rejected. When we go for consult, and if looks like they will take us, would aim to have one IVF round as soon as possible, then go back to trying naturally (if it doesn't work) for 6 more months, before thinking of DEIVF as a very last resort, but by this time we probably wouldn't have the money for it, so that is a very long shot, and seems a remote possibility esp as dp is not at all keen on any kind of treatment.

I think it is because we haven't had a child that we are making a bit of a campaign of it, and because we have been trying for 12 months to no avail, having conceived twice at 43, and lost both.

Beamel - good luck with your appointment. I think we just had a 'funny' day, and hit some bad luck with our appt. Just in case I would advise taking a pen and paper with key questions on it, so you don't get lead along a medico agenda. I forgot mine in the hurry to get to the appointment and regret it now, could have written all the results down too etc.