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Conception

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First time TTC?!! Let's get through this together!! Part 3

976 replies

summerbird · 27/09/2008 14:08

A new thread for us to carry on.

Bring on the BFPs!!!

x

OP posts:
crunchynutter · 04/01/2009 21:49

thanks summer I've been down for a while so I'm determined to have a good year now and try to look on the bright side of things (my husbands always telling me off for being so negative!) I've decided to run the race for life in the summer to raise money for cancer research and have already started training-it's nice to feel in control if something!! I'm going to do it even if I'm 6months pregnant and waddle my way down!

Anyway, I can't wait til all these little beans are due and we get loads of cute pictures up! I still haven't got round to sharing one of my wedding pictures with you and I've seen a few of yours! Xx

DawnAS · 05/01/2009 15:32

Hey all,

Vix, I do know exactly what you mean about men not understanding and the feeling that you are putting too much pressure on.
I have to confess that our BD life was rubbish when we were TTC. We even resorted to buying some special lubricant (Pre-seed) because we just both wanted it over and done with quickly. I think we were so lucky to fall PG so quickly, otherwise we would have gone off of BDing altogether I think. It did get quite bad. Although we tried to make it into a bit of a joke by the end. But I do sympathise. Also, men don't seem to realise that once women make that big decision to go for it, because it's our bodies that have to work in the right way, it becomes all-consuming. Men don't really have a time limit so they don't understand the almost manic state that we get into during that crucial few days of the month... Anyway, I hope you're feeling better today hun!!

Crunchy, I'm sorry you're so down hun. You've been on here with me since I started the original thread all those months ago so I really really want 2009 to be your year. Do you ever wonder what happened to "Bonafacio"? I remember she changed her name but I can't remember what to... Try and keep your chin up though hun and come and rant whenever you want to!!

Hever, gosh, 23 weeks already. I'm coming up for 18 on Wednesday and can't believe it. I've got an appointment with my new MW tomorrow, actually for the, rather late, 16 week check. I just want to hear the heartbeat, especially after the amnio, just to check that all is Ok. Felt first movements on New Years Day, although haven't felt anything since, but I hear that's normal very early on. It'll be nice to meet the new MW anyway!!

Fairy, how are you feeling now? I'm sure that you will be fine. I had a little scare at 8 weeks so went in for a scan and everything was fine. Try not to worry. Why do us women have all this worry. We worry that we're not getting PG and then once we are, the worry starts in earnest!! And it won't stop now, even once they're born, growing up, married and have their own DC!! Best we get used to it I guess!!

Summer, hey hun, how are you feeling today? Still managing to avoid all those nasty germs floating around out there. My Consultant who did the amnio last week, had gone down with the Norwall virus over Xmas, I'm just glad that she got over it before I went in there - yuk!!

Hello to everyone else, I hope that you're all Ok.

xxx

fairywing · 05/01/2009 17:00

Hi Dawn I've got a scan booked for tomorrow at 12.15. Im actually terrified now. Can't stop thinking about what it will feel like to be told my baby has died. How awful is that. I swing from feeling optimistic that such a small amount of spotting around the time my period would have been can't be anything too horrific to convincing myself its the beginning of a miscarriage. I only have 1 or 2 instances a day and (TMI) its when i wip it seems to be brown tinged mucus rather than actual blood but ive made the mistake of reading too many stories where it has meant the beginning of the end. It doesnt help that i havent really got any major pregnancy symptoms apart from tender breasts. I've been tired most afternoons and falling asleep but today im not. The waiting is awful. I just want to get back to enjoying my pregnancy or else know what has happened so that i can move on.

BubbaP · 05/01/2009 18:49

Just a quick post fairy to let you know that I'm thinking of you. Please try not to worry too much, the waiting is almost over now. Your spotting doesn't sound heavy and it's not red blood, so I think they are both positives for you to hold on to.

Please let us know how you get on tomorrow.

Massive hugs hon ***

Vix67 · 05/01/2009 20:27

fairy good luck for tomorrow am praying everything is fine for you so you can carry on and enjoy your pregnancy.

Thanks dawn ha ha we have purchased the pre seed already!! I am feeling better today had a good cry to DP and he was more understanding and had a nice chat, so am feeling positive for my appointment in feb!!

Is anyone due to test soon??

xxxx

MichaelaS · 05/01/2009 23:28

hi fairy, good luck tomorrow and let us know what happens.

You could try looking in on the August antenatal thread - i've been going through something similar, hope you get good results too.

summerbird · 06/01/2009 13:24

hi fairy hope today went well and you got to see your little bean. It is such a worrying time but i am sure you are fine. x

OP posts:
fairywing · 06/01/2009 15:04

doesnt look good, they dated me at 6 weeks instead of 8 but i don't think i can be. No fetal pole or heart beat. I have to go back for another scan in 2 weeks.

DawnAS · 06/01/2009 15:47

Hey Fairywing,

I'm so sorry that it's not looking good for you. As you may (or may not) know, I had an early MC in August.

If you want to email me, go onto my profile and you should be able to get my email address. Let me know if you can't see it and I'll give you it on here.

I know it's difficult, but please try and be positive. It could still be Ok. But if it turns out not to be, I am living proof that you will be Ok. You will get through this and we will all be here for you.

Sending you loads of hugs hun. Look after yourself and take it easy.

xxxxx

BubbaP · 06/01/2009 18:24

Oh Fairy I'm so sad to hear that things aren't looking good.

Both Dawn and I have had early MCs (I found out at just over 10 weeks, but had lost the baby much earlier in my pregnancy) and we'll be here to support you whatever happens.

I've also changed my profile so you should be able to email me if you want to.

Keep us posted and we'll be here whenever you need us.

Big hugs to you and your DH xxx

fairywing · 07/01/2009 09:22

Thank-you ladies, i will probably be in touch at some point just need to get my head around things myself really. Its hard being torn between expecting to miscarry at any moment and in some ways hoping for that so it doesnt drag out for the next 2 weeks and hoping we will make it through the 2 weeks and by some miracle a mistake has been made and our baby is there. We have to face facts though and this is so unlikely. This is just all so hard

DawnAS · 07/01/2009 10:53

Fairy, sometimes it helps when others know EXACTLY what you're going through, but it won't ease your pain.

I do hope that it doesn't drag on too much for you. I'd like to give you the details of mine (in a sense of timescale), but want you to OK that first because I don't want to make it too real for you. But my experience was very very similar to yours.

And also, although this might not help you yet, but I was PG again within 6 weeks of the MC as the hormones are still firing on all cylinders so some people fall again very quickly. But you have to be emotionally ready for that, although like you, because I was warned that it was happening, I managed to move on very quickly, but not everyone is like that and I do understand. I'm 18 weeks today so it does happen sweetheart. And it will happen for you. Please look after yourself and your DH and take it easy.

xxxxx

fairywing · 07/01/2009 11:10

Dawn please do share if you think it might help. I can send you my email address if you'd rather do it privately?

Vix67 · 07/01/2009 12:06

Fairy I am so sorry for what you're having to go through. Thinking of you and your DP at this difficult time, really hope everything turns out OK.
xx

DawnAS · 07/01/2009 13:15

Hey Fairy,

Some of the other ladies on here, may well remember the story anyway so I'm happy to share. You never know when it might help.

One thing that I do want to mention (which won't make you feel any better now but when you look back, it may make you realise that what you are going through is, unfortunately these days, the norm), is that the latest figure is 1 in 3 pregnancies now end in early MC. A lot of the reasons why these numbers keep rising, is because of the early testing that you can do nowadays. Years ago, before these were available, people were probably having as many MCs but they didn't realise because they didn't know they were PG and just assumed that they were having a late AF. Imagine all the people that aren't even TTC and just assume that they're having a late AF, they could easily be having an MC and not realising!! I know that when it happened to me, I felt a failure. Two of my sisters had no problems (although one of them took a year to conceive) and none of my close friends had had MCs, so I really wondered what was wrong with me. But I spoke to my GP and it really is so common...

So, my experience started very similarly to yours, although I was only 5 weeks at the time. One Sunday afternoon, I went to the loo and noticed some browny blood in my underwear and then again when I wiped, only very small amounts all the way the ordeal though. The following morning it was there again, but hardly anything at all really. I called the local GP and she said that it could possibly be a MC or it could be implantation bleeding. I prayed that it was that. So the spotting continued, mostly first thing in the morning and later in the evening, didn't really seem to have a lot in the middle. It would occasionally go a pinky/red colour but was mostly brown. I managed to get an early appointment at the EPU on the Thursday. They had to do an internal scan because they couldn't see anything on the abdominal scan and even then, they just saw a very small amniotic sac. So they said that I was either a lot earlier than I thought, or that the PG had gone wrong. They then took some blood and told me that I needed to have more blood taken in 48 hours to see if the HCG levels had risen.

Anyway, on the Friday evening (I had the second appointment for bloods on the Saturday...), I started suffering with cramps and the bleeding turned red. So it had gone on for about 6 days by then. I knew that was it but DH didn't want to believe it. He thought I was still going to be Ok. The bleeding wasn't very heavy and the pain was just like a period, not horrendous, but I guess everyone's pain threshold is different.

On the Saturday morning the bleeding was still there, but not too heavy. We went to the hospital to have the bloods taken and I told them what was happening. They then told me that the HCG levels from the blood they'd taken on the Thursday was really really low, and coupled with the pain and bleeding, firmly believed that it was an MC. For me, the actual MC bleeding only lasted a few days, but the hospital called on the Saturday afternoon to confirm that following the second lot of blood results, the HCG levels had virtually dropped away completely.

By the Sunday, even though I was still bleeding slightly, emotionally, I had already started to recover, I think perhaps because I'd known that something was wrong for that whole week and was expecting it.

I don't know if this helps or not, but my main message to you is that we are all here for you. Bubbap and I have been where you are and know that you just have to get through this in your own way. The Doctor told me that I could start trying again as soon as the bleeding stopped, if I wanted to, other doctors recommend that you wait for your first AF, but normally because of emotional reasons other than anything physical. Only you will know what's right for you.

Please look after yourself sweetheart and remember that your DH will also be feeling awful, not only because he's also suffering, but that he can't help you with the physical aspects and that's hard for them to take sometimes. If you start to get pains and the bleeding does get heavier, take some paracetomol and it will help.

Thinking of you constantly honey and feeling for you so much.

xxxx

summerbird · 07/01/2009 13:34

Fairy all i want to say is that i am thinking of you, i cant imagine what you are going through as it is so uncertain at the moment. Do let us know how you are getting on, we are all here for you xx

OP posts:
fairywing · 07/01/2009 16:25

Thank you.
Dawn that is helpful thanks. In realitym probably not much further on than you so hopefully the bleeding won't be too bad. I had been imagining all sorts of horrific things. I feel more positive again this afternoon. I guess hormones are not going to help with the up and down til they fade away.

makingafamily · 07/01/2009 16:58

Hey ladies

Seem to have lost this thread and just found you all again

Will have a proper catch up later but just want to say fairy i'm thinking of you and hoping all is well

xxx

MichaelaS · 08/01/2009 02:05

hi all, just wanted to stop in and say fairy i'm sorry it looks bleak, hang on in there and I hope you get some good news in 2 weeks. Take care of yourself in the mean time.

summerbird · 09/01/2009 13:32

Hi there - just bobbing on to see how everyone is - fairy in particular.

*

OP posts:
BubbaP · 09/01/2009 17:43

Hello

Hope you're OK fairy and not in pain or bleeding any heavier.

dawn thanks so much for sharing your story on here.

I've had a very strange couple of days... my AF was due Tues/Weds of this week and on Tues I started having PG-like symptoms (felt nauseous, sore boobs, tired) but decided to wait 'till the weekend to see if AF arrived before testing. By this morning, still no AF so I tested and got a BFN - I was convinced that I was PG so felt totally

My PG-like symptoms are still there and now I have some very light, brown spotting - which could either be the start of AF or maybe an implantation bleed? I'm so confused - and I think my body is, too.

I've discussed with DH and am going to see if AF arrives later today/tomorrow. If not, will test again on Sun.

So I'll keep you posted....

DawnAS · 09/01/2009 17:43

Hi all,

I hope that everyone is Ok.

Fairy, how are you doing hun? Have things improved?

Summer, hey girl, how are you?

Hello to everyone else!!

I had a lovely surprise today, my boss sent me an email saying that as a thank you for all my hard work, that I can take DH out for dinner up to a max of £100 - that's a lot of food when you can't have alcohol!! That's in addition to my £1500 bonus this month aswell - thanks very much!!

So we're now trying to look for somewhere really classy to go. My sister has a lovely restaurant but when I'm not paying for it, I'd prefer it to be somewhere different!! If anyone is in the Torbay area and has any suggestions - let me know!!!

Hope everyone has a nice Friday evening!!

xxx

BubbaP · 09/01/2009 17:50

dawn our posts just crossed! Have you got any thoughts on my situation? xx

DawnAS · 09/01/2009 18:01

Hey Bubbap,

Are you normally really regular? How many AFs have you had since your MC? I can't remember how long it is for you. I know that I only had one and then got a BFP just before the next AF was due (so conceived 6 weeks after MC).

I didn't have any spotting with this PG, but it could very easily be implantation bleeding.

I guess my thoughts will depend on my second question about how long after your MC it is, as the PG hormones can remain in your body for up to 3 months afterwards, but I must confess that I didn't have any PG symptoms until I actually WAS PG again, so I'm keeping everything crossed for you!!

xxx

BubbaP · 09/01/2009 18:36

Dawn this would be my 3rd AF since my MC. My 1st AF after the MC took about 6 weeks to arrive, but then my 2nd AF came after just over 4 weeks (which would be 'normal' for me). It's now 4 weeks and 4 days since my last AF (32 days).

This week is the first time I've ever felt PG if you know what I mean - I didn't have any PG symptoms first time round, and haven't had any since the MC... so I don't think it could be 'residual' PG hormones from the MC.

I'm starting to worry it may be an early MC, but I guess we will know one way or the other over the next couple of days. Will have to just sit tight.

Thanks for your wishes - I'm keeping everything crossed too!
xx