The WIMBEWAIF and WIMBEWAINF 2WW club, new and existing members welcome.

[Bucky2008]

Ahhh, look how nice and clean and new this thread is .

And there is a big ScaryHairy birthday cake for us all to share. I am not being good till after Thursday afterall...

hey scary any preggy symptoms yet? im not even on th 2ww yet but i WILL be joining you in the due in may 09 group if it blardy well kills me im still smiling at your BFP
a big hi there and hello to everyone else
GG judy have a great time in bali
xx ei xx

Not really Ei, but am stressing about doctors/scans/birth etc already and have been grinding my teeth in my sleep. So if jaw-ache is a sign of pregnancy, then yes I have a symptom!

It would be brilliant if you came on the due in May thread with me. . Get to it!

No good news here I am afraid. . She got me. .

DP and I had a chat and are considering our options. I am scared of IVF . I'm not sure how to even find out about whether my local Trust offer cycles on the NHS or if I should just get straight to the private thing. After two and a half years I am exhausted and am coming to terms with the fact that I will never have children naturally . DP says he will love an adoptive child just as much so we are considering all our options, but I think this is the end of the line for me and the monthly rollercoaster.

Scary I think you were probably onto something with the hypnotism thing. The MC devasted me and its kind of weird that ever since I have been unable to get pg. But I am so fed up of trying things, reflexology, accupuncture, diet, vitamins, water, exercise, aromatherapy, meditation, surgery etc etc etc. and I am sick of sex being about making babies. I feel like a defective baby making machine and not a woman anymore. And I am not even a fun woman,as I spend half the month worrying about drinking and not doing things that could be bad if pregnant when I am NEVER pregnant anyway. I have put my life on hold in some ways for no reason, stayed away from my friends for no reason and have based life decisions on the fact that I would have a baby by now for no reason. There has to be line and this month I crossed it .

Sorry this post is all about me. I am having a rant really but I need to take a few days to think things through. I'll check in and see how you are all doing when I feel up to it again. In the meantime, I am leaving all the baby dust for you all. Good luck. xxx

Message withdrawn

oh god bucky im so sorry AF got you i know exactly what you mean about the feeling like a broken machine i really hope you can work through this and find a way you can get your much longed for DC {{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}
xx ei xx

Hi there everybody,

I apologise for being absent for so long - I needed to take a bit of time out and forget about the whole ttc business but I popped on tonight and have just read your news Bucky.

I'm so so sorry to hear about af arriving and how low its making you feel. I can totally empathise and I could've written exactly those words you wrote. Massive big huge hugs to you - sounds contrite but I genuinely mean it, am feeling really on your behalf now.

DH and I have also been talking through our options - adoption is something we are seriously considering as I don't think IVF is something I could ever go through but I'm getting to the end of my ttc tether. We shall see though.

Sorry I missed saying goodbye to both GG and Caitni - if you both pop on then HI and hope you're having a lovely time

Ei how is the new job going?

Lovely to see JB (great to hear the sickness has subsided and Jollycub is making his/her presence felt!), Hatty ( at your nesting habits!) and MTW (do they have to keep monitoring you for the glucose intolorence? Hope all is ok?).

Hi to Lou!

Hey DG how are you feeling?? So so close for you now!

Once again congrats to you SH ! Has it sunk in yet? Am at both yours and GGs experience with your respective doctors. What IS their problem?????? It makes me so mad to hear about your experiences, so unprofessional and totally needless.

Bucky feel free to email me (if you still have my email) if you want a rant. I know I've been finding it difficult coming on here to the 'conception' topic and seeing other threads come up - really should sort out a direct link just to this thread to avoid the others!

Have spent the day with my nieces and nephew at a local wetland centre with the ducks. Has been lovely but just the simple task of pushing a buggy became emotional for me! I'm rubbish at the moment - keep crying at anything (I'm normally a 'keep it all in' type person but I was cying watching X-Factor the other night and when they put Wellard down on 'Stenders last week I was an emotional wreck).

Things will get better though, I have so much in my life to be thankful for - even if it does feel like there's a great big gaping hole in it sometimes....

Apologies if I've missed anyone - hello if I have!

xx

I forgot to say hi to MOB , how are you doing?

Welcome to MarieCharlie

And hellooo to Mibbes!!

(sorry xx)

hi PnM how are you? nice to hear from you this place isnt the same without you in it
just a thought re:the conception board have you tried adding the thread to your watch list? that way all you need to do is click on the threada im watching icon at the top and it takes you directly to this thread link this is what i do as i got p***d off seeing the thread titles about accidental pregs etc you can also keep the thread on your radar by posting every few days and looking on the threads im on icon at the top next to the watching one so much easier and quicker IMO
xx ei xx

Hi all.

Bucky I'm so sorry, you have been trying for so long You articulate your feelings so well I really feel your pain and even had a tear in my eye. I understand you need to take a break and hope life has a kind way of working things out for you.

The same goes to you PnM I hope things work out for you too.

Regarding IVF: I know two couples that have had twins using this method. The first couple after 5 yrs of trying had a boy & a girl last year. The second couple tried for years and after 3 IVF attempts and £18,000 (£6,000 a try) have also got beautiful twin boy & girl.
I know it is not for everyone and can be very painful/emotional but I just wanted to try and give you a little hope. My thoughts are with you.

Big hello to everyone else

Bucky I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. I think it might be a good idea for you to stop trying each month (if you can). Ttc is such an utter marathon - so hard to set yourself up to be hurt over and over again - that I can really understand you wanting some distance and some time to turn back into yourself. The MC must have been so devastating you might look into getting some counselling - I know it sounds extreme but after an experience like that you need to vent and grieve and that takes time. There are so many different ways to become a parent that it is worth checking all f your options out. Re IVF, I am not sure I could do it as it sounds so rigorous (and is more of the same 2WW etc), but I did read an newspaper article about "soft" IVF which at least involves lower doses of hormones and is less hard on the body. Anyway, whatever you decide we are all here for you. We seem to be taking lots of different routes to the same destination between us on this thread...

It's lovely to see you again PicknMix, and I am glad you're (mostly) ok. The problem with ttc is that it is such an overwhelming biological urge. I find it absolutely inescapable and just so frustrating when it all went wrong. Our news has not sunk in yet, although I am already looking at our birth options (in order to avoid the hell that was my daughter's delivery). I am half anticipating trouble again, but this one does feel more normal. I just have to keep breathing deeply for two more weeks, then I can go for my scan and hopefully everything will be fine.

Higs to you all. It's been a funny old week for the WIMBLEWAI(N)F club...

Evening all,

Ei, good plan, thank you - think I will investigate your suggestion as that will make things a lot easier for me

Thank you for your kind words MTW x

Bucky hope you're doing ok today? xx

SH - I can only imagine how you must be having some bitter sweet feelings, I'm sure if I [manage to ever] fall pregnant I shall worry myself stupid having already been through 1 mc. Can you look into some sort of hypnosis to continue the good work already started in trying to alleviate some of the pain from the memory of your daughters delivery? I know nothing about such things though so not sure. I'm really pleased to hear that you are feeling more positive this time though - appreciate these next 2 weeks will go s-l-o-w-l-y for you but keep up with the deep breathing! Let us know when you have a scan booked so we can virtually and cyberly hold your hand.

Off to bed now - hope everyone else is ok?

Night all xx

Thanks Picknmix. I suspect that the best way to get over DD's delivery is to have one that runs more smoothly this time (whether by c-section or not). So lots of planning required and I am going to hire an independent midwife to help me feel safer. Anyway I am looking forward to discussing all of this with the very expensive consultant in a couple of weeks when I go for my scan! It's ridiculous really, I can always find something to worry about .

morning scary how are you feeling today my lovely pregnant friend??
im in a surprisingly good mood today i think it may have something to do with me having a weekday off work
anyone doing anything exciting today??
nothing new TTC wise to report from me CD12 and no sign of Ov yet but to be fair on average i usually ov around CD16-18 so i would be rather early if i Ov in the next few days
hi to everyone else
xx ei xx

Am ok, thanks ei. Bad tempered and skin like the lunar surface but getting by.

How is everyone else?

Scary I just wanted to empathise with you regarding your fears. I had two mc's before this pg and I was really scared of losing a third but it's been third time lucky and I'm hoping for the same for you.

I also had an difficult birth with DD. I'm so so scared of this labour I can't tell you but the consultants have been keeping a very close eye on me this time so hopefully I will be in safe hands.

Sorry if this is insensitive talk to the rest of you the last thing I want to do it upset you but just wanted to give Scary a bit of support.

Thanks MTW. I'm glad you have confidence in the people who are looking after you, and hope I end up in the same position! It is always good to hear about people who have had losses and gone on to have a successful pregnancy too. I know the odds are actually on my side - I just find it hard to remember that sometimes.

Hope the rest of the WIMBEWAI(N)F-ers are ok and that you've all had a good bank holiday.

Make sure you catch that egg, Ei.
Bucky and Picknmix are you both feeling ok today? I know you're both doing it tough at the moment, but I am sending you huge (((higs))) and am here for you if you want to vent.

Hi also to MOB - your appointment must be coming up soon?

I guess GG and Caitni are still off on holiday ...

Of course its not insensitive mtw - support in all guises is welcome for whatever stage we're all at

I've had a lovely day with my godchildren (2.6 and 4.8yrs) who are both gorgeous. Made my heart melt when my goddaughter just spontaneously said 'auntie pnm, I love you' (she's the younger one). Strangely didn't make me too emotional though so must be (finally!) hardening up!!

It must be tough Scary having been through what you already have but I really hope you can find the medical care to give you confidence like mtw has. Have you decided on def going with the Portland?

Ei hope this cycle is a bit more 'regular' for you than the last - I'm just going through the ewcm stage, doesn't matter how much I tell myself not to obsess, still have all the physical reminders! Dh and I had blazing row about it all the other night but it did clear the air so hopefully things will be a little more 'natural' - was beginning to feel like some kind of mechanical nightmare between us!!

Just to give you all a wildlife update, am currently sat in the garden doing a bit of owl spotting (yep, you read that right!) whilst listening to the crickets. Weird but nice! Not sure dh is particularly impressed with my being on mn at the same time though so best go!!

Hope everyone else is doing ok?

Still thinking of you Bucky xx

bucky - im so sorry you are feeling this awful. I can relate to all those things you said, especially about the not being able to get pregnant since the miscarriage.
Hope you are taking some time out to look after yourself. We are all thinking of you.

Hi to everyone else, sorry for my sporadic posting, I am lurking, just trying not to think too hard about things this month!
I do appreciate the support i get when i do post though!! xx

Hi Ladies

PnM it does sound like you havd a lovely day with your godchildren. I bet you're a really nice godmother. . I am of your nature spotting - if I sat outside all I would hear is the neighbour's cat calling, the other neighbour's teenagers arguing and speeding cars flying over the bumps one street along! Not sure about what I will do for the delivery of this bean, but I am going to the Portland for a scan, yes. My GP called this morning to offer me an appointment but honestly I don't need the hassle of going there, waiting, being referred, waiting some more etc etc. Instead I can go to my appointment, see a consultant and have a scan and hopefully not be noticeably late for work.

Hi Lou, glad you are still around. And good for you trying to not obsess. I think it's much the best way if you can do it (I never could).

Higs and waves to the rest of you.

Hello?????? It is no fun lurking if nobody is here! .

I have a bit of an update anyway. I phoned the hospital for the results of my Lap and Dye as they never really spoke to me about anything afterward. They directed me to my doctor. I went to my doctor. No mention of a fibroid, just an all clear in every regard. My doctor was shocked that my follow up appointment is not until December. I told him we are considering our options and he said that several friends of his had gone to Scandanavia where it is much cheaper to have IVF and had all had positive experiences. He said that I could pursue the NHS treatment at the same time, although obviously I would have to tell them should the two treatments clash. I am now seriously considering this option. I am not sure what the practicalities of having this type of treatment abroad would be, I mean you can't guarantee when you will ovulate etc .

Anyway, I was just missing you all. I know that GG is on hols but where are the rest of you. . Are we ever going to have our day out?

Finally, thank you for all being so kind to me. . After a few days to reflect I feel its time to be proactive.

I've been lurking too Bucky worrying about you all but understanding you need a bit of time.

Your doctor sounded very knowledgable on the IVF subject and helpful with the info abroad. So glad you are feeling a little better now.

Hope everyone else is ok.

Hello my Dears

I am very glad you ar feeling better Bucky and looking into the overseas IVF seems like a good idea. One thing to bear in mind is that if you start the process more than a year after your lap it is possible that they will want to do another one (this is why my Dr suggsted not having a lap unless I was ready to take the leap and go for IVF).

Higs to you all. I think this bean is still hanging in there, although I have no symptoms other than spots (causing my daughter to say "mummy, there's three little owies on your face"). Scan is at the end of next week and I have never wished time would speed up so much before.

hi ladies
wow we have been quiet in here of late i hope everyone is having a nice time having a [shock horror] life
i had my recurrent MC clinic appointment yesterday afternoon although it could hardly be called an appointment i sat waiting for an hour to be seen after my appointment time only to find out when i went in that the MC specialist nurse had gone home early knowing i was waiting to see her no emergency she just wanted to go home lazy bitch how unprofessional!! the assistants were very helpful and did every blood test possible including one or two that were unconventional and they have made me an appointment to see the top man in MC/fertility problems in the north west they were so apologetic and lovely i went out happy in spite of my non starter of a history appointment i should get my appointment card through the post in the next week or so and my appointment is in 6 weeks time!! its such a foreign concept having good treatment from the NHS for once (i mite be speaking too soon yet as i havent had my appointment card yet so im full expecting them to forget about me!!)
bucky im glad your results came back as all clear i hope you dont have to go down the IVF route but what a lovely GP to give you more economical suggestions just in case
scary im glad things are going well with you and the bean not long til the scan
hi to everyone else
xx ei xx

Morning!

Apologies for not being around - I broke my foot! Fell over on it and chipped a bit of bone off - also damaged the ligaments so am now in plaster. Thats put paid to this months ttc efforts

Bucky sooo pleased to see you back - missed you! Sounds like your doctor was really helpful. Not sure about the scandinavian ivf but it certainly sounds worth looking into. I'm confused about your fibroid - when your dr said there were no notes about it, does this mean they are not worried about it?

Ei grr at the nurse (why did she do that? Did she not know you were waiting?!) but brilliant end result!! So pleased that things are moving forward - you really deserve some answers so lets hope this top notch consultant can help you

Hi Scary! Still willing this bean to stick for you and for nxt week to come around quickly! Bless your little dd, commenting on your owies - my goddaughter calls them hurties - she had chicken pox recently and was fascinated by all her 'hurties'! Are you going to wait a while before you tell your dd about the new baby?

Hi and waves to everyone else - apologies if I haven't made sense, doped up on painkillers at the mo (figured I've missed the boat egg-wise so might as well go crazy on the medication this month, usually I would avoid it!!).

Laters xx

ei How frustrating but you probably got more care and attention from the assistants because if the nurse was willing to go home early she probably couln't have been bothered to send a letter to a consultant, too much like hard work

PicknMix Ouch I broke my foot a few years back. It's amazing how quickly you get used to the plaster but not being able to drive was a nightmare. Take it easy it sounds as if your body is still in shock and take all the pain relief you can.

Hello to everyone else it must be quiet with all those lucky holiday makers away Hope you're having a good time at least it won't take too long to catch up when you get back.