TTC#1 - Looking for Others in the Same Boat PART TWO THE SEQUEL WHERE WE ALL GET OUR BABIES???!

[MocktailMe]

www.mumsnet.com/talk/conception/5093665-ttc-1-no-previous-pregnancies-cycle-6-looking-for-others-in-the-same-boat?page=40&reply=144772936

Hi everyone!

I can't quite believe it but after a while year we only went and filled the last thread.

I'll tag you all below so that you can find me!

If anyone silently reading along wants to keep following - here's the place. If anyone wants to read the fertility journey for the last year have a look through the last thread.

Thanks @Tater05! In fairness the 48 hour comparison isn't too bad, I just would feel better if it was more obvious. That's the equivalent of 10dpo - 12dpo here.

There is definitely progression there @MocktailMe. Try not comparing person to person as all our HCG would start / rise at different numbers!! Let’s hope this is your happy ever after, you deserve it

There is clear progression @MocktailMe! I am praying that this is the ONE for you, you deserve it so much! Little bean, please grow! 🤗

@MocktailMe Definitely see good progression over 48 hours which is a good sign 🙏🙏 have absolutely everything crossed for you. Keep us posted xx

This is 8dp5dt on the bottom, yesterday's on top. I'm not going to test until next week now and I guess I'll see whether there's still a line by then. Not looking good. I don't actually know how I'm still putting myself through this!!!

@MocktailMeI’m so sorry 😔 good idea to take a break from testing and see what the next couple of days brings. Will your clinic bring you in for a blood draw?

No, it's self report on the 24th. If it's negative or barely-there I'll report as negative and won't mention this. Due to the access plan we have done they reserve the right to remove you from the programme after two or more miscarriages. Im testing before OTD, so don't want this to be counted, just in case.

OTD is 5 days away, so I believe it will either be totally gone or blazing by then.

It's not all bad news if it's chemical (although it feels like it) as it does show I am capable of implantation in the uterus. Last month I wasn't sure where I had implanted, but I do feel pretty certain this is uterine.

Obviously I sound calm now - this is after five hours of crying, raging etc etc. I don't understand why I have to keep going through all this. I know some people have it much much worse, but this really is very unfair.

Top test was 48 hours ago. Bottom is this morning's, after a few days of it staying the same it's started to lighten. This one was not meant to be 💔

I’m so so sorry @MocktailMe 💔 this is just so unfair. I’m sending you so much love 🫂

I am so exhausted. I'm taking April off, and possibly May too, and will look to have another transfer after that. The thought of starting again with the inevitable bleed is just too much. That's our last chance for a 2026 baby gone.

I know I'll feel better once I'm off these drugs, they amplify everything.

@MocktailMe A break sounds like it would be good to let yourself heal physically and emotionally. The meds are no joke and can take such a toll. I am just so sorry, this is all so unfair ❤️‍🩹

@MocktailMe just catching up after being away for a while (to cut a long story short got stuck in Australia due to WW3!)

So unbelievably gutted for you this didn’t work out for you again. Life’s so effing unfair.

A break sounds good it’s definitely a marathon and important to take care of yourself on the physical and mental battle.

Sending big hugs xxx

I'm so sorry @MocktailMe, it really is so unfair. A break sounds like a good idea, you must be completely drained. Sending hugs ♥️

Gosh @CharLdn hope you're back home safe and sound!

Sorry @MocktailMe, do whatever you need to protect yourself. This really does feel so unfair on you. Sending a big hug xx

Hi ladies, I hope everyone's doing ok!

Just wanted to share that my baby girl arrived into the world yesterday morning 🥰 currently curled up on my chest fast asleep and I'm so in love already

Congratulations @Tater05 I am so thrilled to hear she is here safely 🩷🩷 I hope you are both doing well and the recovery isn’t too rough. Hoping to follow you into the girl mom club very shortly as I will be induced this day two weeks if nothing has happened by then!

Hoping it’s not too late for me to join this thread. My husband and I are trying for our first and the whole thing is already terrifying! I’m such a control freak so having something feel this out of my hands is a real struggle!
We’re officially TTC from this cycle but have been “not preventing” since we got married in August in the hope it would come as a nice surprise, but nothing yet, which is making me worry a little, but trying to remind myself that it can take a while when it’s all timed out and structured.
any tips or advice for handling all of this?

Congrats on the arrival of your baby girl @Tater05!! Hope you are recovering well and enjoying those sweet newborn days!
@Waitingformiracle good luck with your induction but hope your girl makes its appearance before any interventions. If not, don’t worry, many inductions are very straightforward, even if for myself I chose a planned C-section over induction (combo of factors : advanced maternal age, some medical history in the background, such as pregnancy induced hypertension and gestational diabetes, which showed on scans that baby would be on the 80th-90tb percentile (was born a very average 50 percentile!) with a risk of shoulders being stuck.

@B242welcome! It is a long journey and many lovely ladies in this group would say a rocky and turbulent one too.
I got pregnant after nine months trying but I was also in early 40s, just kept going ! The month we conceived was the least likely for success!

@lavafieldthankyou so much! I’m keeping all my fingers crossed, for us and for everyone else in this thread that needs it 💖

@Tater05 omg congratulations this is so exciting ❤️ good luck with everything sending you lots of love for the newborn phase!!!!

@B242 I also like to control things so TTC has been a massive rollercoaster!

For context I did 22 cycles of TTC - 18 months trying, diagnosed with unexplained infertility - then got a hycosy which showed I had a blocked tube.

I then had a miscarriage the next cycle and conceived 5 cycles later and am currently 24 weeks pregnant.

my tips for someone beginning would be:

• Treat it like a marathon not a sprint - this could take ages
• Do not put your life on hold -book the holidays etc.
• Look after your health but don’t get obsessive - you want to be your healthiest version of yourself but don’t cut out all joy. It’s ok to drink in moderation - it’s binge drinking that’s harmful
• get fertility tested (both of you) if you want more information to start
• its very normal for TTC to take 6-12 months
• don’t just use an app for tracking ovulation - I found BBT and cervical mucus most accurate for me if I started again I’d probably get an oura ring
• Plan fun things which are with friends - do not put life on hold
• its ok to have sex every other day during your fertile window
• it’s OK to take breaks for months if you need them mentally
• if you need support get a therapist or counsellor - I found I needed this at times
• Dr Natalie Crawford podcast told me a lot of useful info - don’t get too obsessive with researching
• don’t stress about stress - it makes less impact than you think
• have a few people you talk to but keep the circle small as otherwise everyone will just tell you to relax

Good luck!!!!

Congratulations @Tater05 !!!! Lovely news!!

Hi @B242 I think @CharLdn has had some really good advice for you there! I would agree with absolutely all of that but would also add:

• at this stage you are at try not to worry as you are well within normal.

• if things don't happen for you be prepared to do a lot of admin and pushing. It does get you places in the end but you need to be pushy.

If you haven't RTFT I'm still TTC. I've had two confirmed ectopics naturally conceived, one confirmed naturally conceived pregnancy ending in miscarriage, and my most recent IVF transfer ended in chemical pregnancy (I suspect two further chemicals but never had bloods taken for those). This is over 2.5 years of TTC & it took me 11 cycles to conceive the first.

I've so far had two IVF transfers and will be doing my third next month.

Im totally sober, active, vegan.....you name it! Started TTC at 29. Yet this is the boat I've wound up in 😂 Unfortunately we are just dealt the hand we are dealt I believe.

Thanks so much @lavafield that is very good advice. I am wondering about possibly electing for a section too as baby is also apparently huge and I’m worried about the shoulders getting stuck. I have an appointment this evening with a growth scan so I’ll see what they say!

Welcome @B242 I think the others have given you lots of solid advice above. I think the most important thing for you to do now is to start tracking ovulation properly. Even though you have been ‘not preventing’ for a while now there really is such a short window of time each month where you are fertile. Learn to get to know your fertile signs like your cervical mucus and buy the ovulation strips (and learn how to use them, as they can be confusing at the start). You might not be ovulating when you think you are. It can be a long slog for some people as the others have said. I was trying for two years with an 18 week loss in the middle before finally turning to IVF and having a miracle with our one and only embryo, and I am due any day now. That doesn’t mean it will be that way for you, the women in this group have all had a bit of a rough ride but that’s why we found each other on here. A lot of my friends had no issues so it really can go either way. Best of luck!

@MocktailMe how are you doing? Thinking of you 🤍

thank you such for the advice! I’m definitely taking it on board! 💖 I’ve supported a few friends through their TTC journey and now it’s my time, they’re all a little too busy with their children to pick up the phone as often as I did.
(on top of a very pushy mother who’s so desperate for grandkids she’s been harassing me since before I even met my husband, so no way am I discussing it with her!)

@MocktailMehope you’re doing okay and I’m genuinely hoping for the best for you. I’ve read some of the thread but not all of it as it’s quite long.

@charLdnand @Waitingformiraclecongratulations on your pregnancies! I’m so happy for you both! 💖 they really are a blessing.

I’ve got the clear blue ovulation tests, and am testing daily at the moment to try and build up a picture, I figured that it would take a few months to build up a proper baseline (I’ve always been a bit of a nerd so I’m kind of trying to treat it like a science experiment and control the variables I can! 😅) and I’ll definitely be checking out that podcast.

thanks again so much, you ladies are lovely, and deserve the absolute world 💖

@Waitingformiracle good luck with your appointment! I remember having to decide at 36 weeks which method of delivery to choose. Consultants were all lovely and kept telling me either induction or a c-section but that natural birth was still possible if I wished so. It was very hard to decide so we just pushed and asked the consultants to just give me their honest opinion, and they said if they were me they would go for a section. They are not allowed to really say that and to influence such decisions, especially as sections put a financial burden on the NHS. But I am glad they did, and that sealed my decision. I wanted to take most risks upon myself instead of my baby taking any risks. BUT! Everyone I know including myself were told baby is growing big on scans, and then they were all born smaller than projected. Because of that part of me still wonders if I should have gone for a natural birth but on the whole I was very pleased with the predictability of the elective section and how calm and smooth all went. It feels really rough in the first week, I won’t lie, then after two weeks it was pretty much back to normal for me! Since this is probably my only child the wait period of at least one year until next pregnancy is not very relevant for me.