TTC#1 - Looking for Others in the Same Boat PART TWO THE SEQUEL WHERE WE ALL GET OUR BABIES???!

[MocktailMe]

www.mumsnet.com/talk/conception/5093665-ttc-1-no-previous-pregnancies-cycle-6-looking-for-others-in-the-same-boat?page=40&reply=144772936

Hi everyone!

I can't quite believe it but after a while year we only went and filled the last thread.

I'll tag you all below so that you can find me!

If anyone silently reading along wants to keep following - here's the place. If anyone wants to read the fertility journey for the last year have a look through the last thread.

Hi ladies

@lavafield oh my gosh the BIGGEST congratulations. So happy to hear that your little boy arrived safe and sound 💙💙 I hope you are recovering well and that he is doing great. So exciting that we now have two births in the group ☺️

@MocktailMethings are good thanks for asking! I am a little over 14 weeks now so officially in the second trimester which is crazy to me. I’m in that strange phase where the first trimester symptoms are gone but it’s too early for a real bump or to feel any movement so I just sort of feel normal. Except I have contracted a desperate cold so just trying to put the feet up today! Have just seen your message that your period has started and IVF starts this cycle, I’m so glad that you are officially getting started and I hope you will have all the success that you deserve 🙏 it feels so great to be taking control of the situation or at least I found that I felt that way.

@PearOpalglad to read that you are feeling good this cycle, I hope that those sky high hormones are a good sign 🙏🙏

@CharLdn how are you getting on?

@Waitingformiracle 14 weeks 🥰🥰 that's so amazing! It's flying by. Everyone does usually say the second trimester is the one they feel the most comfortable physically, hopefully once your cold has gone you'll be feeling loads better - and not sick!!

I know it feels mad and I'm so with you on the WHY DIDNT I DO THIS SOONER feeling 😂 This has been the best period I've had in two years - because although there's the tiniest tinge from not being a last minute miracle maker after all, it just means the plan is locked in. My drugs will be delivered in a few days and I am so determined to master this and get to grips with them. I feel so inspired knowing you managed to inject daily for 14 weeks. Some days I will have to do 3 injections for minimum of 4 weeks. It's daunting - but it's doable. And if it means I am pregnant by Christmas it's so worth it all. I've been told to rotate the area and I'm going to try to stick to thighs only if I can - I'm nervous about my belly due to the scars and scar tissue they told me it will hurt if I go through it. Did you do thighs?

@MocktailMe thank you ☺️ it is definitely flying by.

I know it’s wild isn’t it, suddenly you’re just like why was I so scared of taking this step for so long? The 3 injections daily for that long will certainly be a challenge and I won’t lie there were days where it really challenged me mentally but I just kept thinking of having a baby in my arms any time I was struggling and then I felt like I could push through! I actually never did thighs I was told to just do the stomach, but just do whatever works best for you! I definitely tried to alternate sides every day and pick different areas I hadn’t touched yet to try and reduce bruising and pain.

Awwwww congratulations @lavafield that is wonderful news that he arrived safe and sound. Hope your recovery is becoming easier as the days go on. Enjoy your newborn bubble.

@MocktailMe Whilst there still may be a little disappointment that AF arrived, it is so exciting the fresh new hope that comes with starting your IVF protocol. I am sure the mental journey with the injections may be hard as your hormones will be going wild, but if you need any support jump on here and we can all help and cheer you on. I am so hopeful for you on this new part of your journey. I haven’t been through it personally, but a friend has and they said icing the injection site prior made things a lot more comfortable for them, so may be worth a go!

Good luck @PearOpal sounds very promising.

@Waitingformiracle 14 wks is a lovely milestone. Have you got round to spreading the news? The next few weeks will fly by and you’ll feel great - even questioning at times am I really pregnant?? Then you will land at the point of feeling movement and the 20 WK scan and things suddenly start to sink in and feel real.

@CharLdn Hope your doing okay ☺️

Thank you @KT199 and I’m glad to hear I’m not alone in the “am I even pregnant” feeling because that’s where I am at this week 😅 I really can’t wait to start to feel her as I’m sure it will bring so much reassurance. We have started spreading the news and everyone’s reaction has been so heart warming. So many friends family members and even colleagues have actually shed tears when we told them. They all know what happened to us with our last baby and then I’m sure were wondering what was happening when nothing happened immediately so they have all just been so thrilled which is special ❤️

how are you getting on?

@Waitingformiracle no you definitely aren’t and I still had a little anxiety too so I had a reassurance scan between 12 - 20 weeks (we found out gender then too). I started to feel first signs of movement quite early in all honesty I was about 17 weeks when I got the bubbles sensation, but it is normal for it to be much much later also! Especially if placenta is anterior. The movement is sooo reassuring but also anxiety inducing if you don’t feel them for a while but you get used to their pattern as time goes on.

How heart warming that you’ve had such a lovely and positive response. I’m so glad people are really celebrating your pregnancy with you.

Things are going okay for me, I’m 33 weeks now so it is quite crazy to think in 4 short weeks I’m “full term” and baby could arrive at any point, but most likely it will be 40+ weeks. I have reached the point now where things are becoming difficult in terms of sleep and day to day tasks but I hate to complain as I feel so lucky and privileged to be in this position. I signed up to work until 38wks regrettably so 5 weeks now until mat leave and definitely on the countdown for that!

Congratulations @lavafield! What lovely news! Glad he's arrived safely and I hope your recovery is going ok ✨

@MocktailMe wow IVF this cycle! The injections sound gruelling but we're all here cheering you on, and hopefully it will all be worth it soon! Bet you can't wait for AF to get out the way now so you can start taking control.

@Waitingformiracle I found 14 weeks so strange, I didn't quite feel pregnant and I was on holiday just looking really bloated 😅 it's a very in-between time. The response from your family and friends is so heartwarming to read 🥹 that must've been emotional.

@kt199 can't believe you're already 33 weeks, it really flies by! I hope your last few weeks working aren't too uncomfortable (you're definitely allowed to feel uncomfortable and tired while still being grateful)

@MocktailMe its happening! So glad you can get started.

@KT199 I’ve had an OK week still getting waves of grief/hopelessness and for some reason I’ve convinced myself I’m going through the motions with all of this and I have no hope it will ever happen.

I think because I’ve learned hope is such a dangerous place when it comes crashing down. My current strategy is to kind of disassociate emotionally from the process as much as possible and not think about it too much.

I’m not tracking anything this month but maybe body temp to confirm ovulation. I’m day 10 and we’ll probably try and have sex every other day from days 12-20 - I normally ovulate days 16-18.

It’s my 5th cycle post miscarriage and my Accupuncturist said she normally sees people get pregnant within 6 cycles unless somethings wrong.. I’m trying not to read into this too much and just get through to survive Christmas extended family gatherings which I’m dreading.

Definitely taking things a week at a time!

I wouldn't take your acupuncture lady's words to heart. Some women get pregnant within 6 months of a miscarriage - but the way I see it, it's classed as totally normal to take up to a year to conceive. Every time you get pregnant, even if it doesn't end up with a baby, the clock sets again is how I see it. It feels forever and it's so painful because to us it's just a continuation of all the trying and all the time we have already spent TTC - but I think from a purely statistical perspective falling pregnant once in 18 months is actually so so normal. I do understand though, as I look at my own journey as having tried for two years without a baby - but technically I have got pregnant three times in those two years, which is 'normal'. Not to directly compare us though, because I do believe you are in a much stronger position for natural conception than I am!

One week at a time is a good strategy. I feel you on the Christmas fear. If all goes well I'll be post transfer and testing at Christmas - if the cycle doesn't work I don't actually know how I'll bear it. I'm not planning on putting up a tree, or decorations, or making too big a deal about the season. I didn't last year either and it really helped that my own home remained a haven to retreat to - especially as I'd just had my first ectopic at Christmas last year. Don't feel pressured to attend anything you don't want to - it's absolutely fine to put yourself first. Nobody else is on your journey and it really really doesn't matter if they think you're anti-social etc, what matters is you coping and being as mentally well as you can be.

@MocktailMe for sure one week at a time. I’m comforted at the moment we have plan A and a plan B - and a timeline.

So if I’m not pregnant again by Feb it’s ivf in March ish - which gives us 9 months of natural trying.

My plan is if I’m not pregnant at Christmas to prioritise fun and hanging out with child free friends. I do feel very lucky to have a mix of single friends and a few people who don’t want kids which is great.

my immediate family is ok it’s just one day with my cousins which could be hard. I’m currently trying to motivate us for sex week number 500!

Good morning everyone how are we all?

@lavafield congrats on baby boy 💙how are you getting on?

@Waitingformiracle @KT199 @Tater05 how are you all doing ?

@MocktailMe how is IVF going for you?

@CharLdn how are you?

Hey :)

My drugs are being delivered tomorrow! And then I'll be starting them in less than two weeks! So not long to go now.

@MocktailMe two weeks so soon!

@KTB34 I’m OK just had sex week 🎉 I’ve decided to focus my energy on work for now as well and am trying to focus less on TTC for a while mentally - while still shagging at the correct times of the month etc.

I run my own business so am trying to set it up for success for next year pre ivf if it happens in March. I’m quite excited to have that as a tangible focus.

Thanks @KTB34 it has been very nice but also very stressful. It has not only been a newborn bliss, far from it! 😂 The baby has quite a bad reflux and spits out lots of milk, we also had weight gain issues that have now been rectified but still a lot of sleepless nights holding him upright for ages after feeds! As soon as he is on his back flat he gets fussy and cries and spits up. I would say ladies prioritise your sleep, your "date" time with your DHs/DPs before the baby comes as a lot of the dynamic changes and you won't really have time to nurture your relationship as any free minute you have you want to use it to sleep or go to shower! 😅 Very very happy to hold this little bundle of joy in my arms for hours of course too!

@MocktailMe very soon your treatment starts! Fingers crossed!
@CharLdn a very sensible idea to focus on work while you can! 👌

Hi @KTB34 I’m good thanks for checking in!! 16 weeks now, the weeks are flying! They are giving us some extra scans because of everything that happened with my first pregnancy, the extra reassurance is great. It’s felt like a bit of a wait for my next one but it’s finally this week!

How are you doing?

@MocktailMe not long to go now at all!!!

@MocktailMe amazing news! So pleased to hear this for you ❤️

@CharLdn glad to hear you’re doing well. I think it can be quite taxing on mental health so good that you’re focusing on other things too.

@lavafield sounds like you’ve been through it. Hope baby is doing better now with his weight. The sleepless nights are hard…nobody can quite prepare you for the sleep deprivation but it gets easier as the weeks go on.

@Waitingformiracle 16 weeks that’s gone so quick. Will you be finding out the gender?

I am ok thank you, little man is 10 weeks on Tuesday and is thriving. Had him weighed Wednesday and he is now just under a stone 🤣 safe to say the breast milk is doing its job !

@KTB34 wow I can’t believe he is 10 weeks already ☺️ so glad to hear that he is thriving and hope you are settled into the swing of it all now!

We found out the gender with our NIPT and we are having a girl ☺️🩷

@Waitingformiracle So sweet, a little girl is on the way! Wishing you a smooth rest of pregnancy ! 🩷
@KTB34 Glad to hear your little man is doing well!
Thanks, I do hope it gets better every week, it does seem so little by little. Our son's weight is back to gaining steadily after quite a bit of loss during the first ten days, which was scary. The first week is the most vulnerable one, they discharge you early and off you go still not knowing if you have enough milk or if you should top up with formula etc. I wish I had had this advice early! Afterwards, when the milk supply comes it all gets easier!

Awww I'm thrilled for you @Waitingformiracle I bet you can't believe you're having a daughter! That's such lovely news and I bet it feels so real and exciting.

I always thought I wouldn't want to find out but I'm not sure now because I think it must help you really connect with and cherish the pregnancy - maybe I'll go totally the other way and have an early reveal!!

I'm only 6 days away from starting my drugs now. My fridge is full and I've bought a little medical carry bag for the ambient ones. I have to say signing for a 2.5k package with roughly 60 needles was overwhelming and terrifying 🤣

Mostly I just can't wait to start. I am scared for the egg retrival more than anything but I've already survived ectopic rupture, emergency salpingectomy surgery, HSG without pain relief and at least 10 internal examinations this year. How bad can this be really?? Plus, my clinic does general anaesthetic not just the sedation so once the drugs are in, I will be out like a light. If (IF) this works I already know I want an ELCS so again, this will be a breeze compared to that (I hope!!).

Thank you @lavafield sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough start with your little guy! Glad to hear his weight is now gaining steadily and I hope it gets easier for you soon!

@MocktailMe thank you ☺️ we are so excited. I was really convinced we were having a boy which I would have been equally thrilled about but given we lost our first daughter it does feel very special that we are having a girl. I was the exact same as you I said I wouldn’t find out the gender but when it came to it I was dying to know early on. I’ve had enough surprises when it comes to pregnancy and getting pregnant 🤣 I don’t need anymore.

6 days to go what a big milestone for you!! The needles are certainly overwhelming and terrifying at the start but once you get going with them you’ll be a pro! There are a lot of helpful videos on YouTube too if you feel you need some extra guidance. As you say you have been through SO much so I think you will fly this. I do always wonder if I found the IVF so manageable because I had already been through so much mentally and physically before starting it.

The egg retrieval was honestly fine for me. Be sure to take a few days off to let yourself recover, but it wasn’t too bad and as you say will be nothing compared to what you’ve already done. Just make sure to stay super hydrated during the stims and then for the few days after the retrieval eat lots of salty foods and protein as this is meant to ward off OHSS. I downloaded an app that reminder me to drink water every hour which I am still using now. You’ve got this!! 💪💪💪

@CharLdn How are you doing?

Yes it feels really special. I know you would have loved a boy regardless but I am so pleased for you. Have you bought anything yet/made any steps towards a nursery or is all that to wait until the new year? Also when is the next scan now, are you doing one of the 4D ones?

Thank you for all the tips!! I'm quite good with water but will have to be sure to keep it up!! Salty food and protein sounds tasty too so that will be something to look forward to after I wake up! I really hope at the new year I'll be able to join in with the pregnancy chat ♥️

@MocktailMe we actually have a scan this Wednesday so I’m anxiously looking forward to that. I still always expect bad news at them which will probably never go away but trying to stay positive! I hadn’t actually thought about one of those 4D scans but that could be a lot of fun! In terms of buying anything I haven’t yet. I think we might wait until the new years sales in January and hopefully I’ll feel a bit more confident then. Unfortunately with the way Christmas is falling on my dates I won’t get my anomaly scan until close to 24 weeks in January which feels like such a wait!

Yes I had a lot of fun buying all the snacks for my post retrieval recovery! You have every reason to be hopeful for a successful cycle and I hope so much for you that you will be pregnant come January! The success rate is so high about 60-65% so the way I looked at it is that I never had a better chance of getting pregnant any time we tried ourselves. In fact with my husband’s numbers our chances each cycle were probably closer to 5% so it was a huge leap in terms of the possibility! That’s what kept me going and staying positive!!

It's so true - every cycle that I ovulated on the side with the missing fallopian tube my chances were a big old 0 so compared to that this is HUGE!!! At my baseline scan they also said what I've long suspected - that my left ovary appears to be slightly dominant (with more follicles) which is of course the one without plumbing! So this gives me a better chance than I could ever have naturally. I just wish I could have a guarantee - but I suppose four full cycles and unlimited FETS is as good as you can get.

I don't blame you for waiting, I think logically buying things doesn't jinx anything but I would have that nagging worry anyway. January does feel a long way off but hopefully the Christmas period will make it speed up a bit. Honestly, it never feels like it lasts too long and then you'll be a 3rd trimester lady before we both know it 🫨

I would absolutely treat yourself to the 4D scan you get a video to take home and everything which is something you can treasure. That's something I'd love to show my baby in the future when they are older.

@MocktailMe That's exciting you're starting so soon! Like you said, you've already been through so much in just the last year, you've got this ❤

@CharLdn That's a great mindset to have, being self employed I also threw everything I could at my work and it did help to distract my mind from TTC for the last few months (still obsessed over it quite a few days though...). Sending positive vibes for your TWW!

@lavafield Sounds like you're really in the newborn trenches at the moment. I hope it starts to get easier in the coming weeks, the sleep deprivation sounds hard enough!

@Waitingformiracle Best of luck for your scan, it's always hard not to worry a bit. Very annoying that you have to wait until January for your anomaly scan! It will roll around quickly but still it's frustrating. And congrats on finding out you're having a girl!

@KTB34 thanks for checking in! So glad to hear your little one is doing well!

I'm nearly at 20 weeks now, can't believe I'm about half way through! We had a gender scan a few weeks ago and also found out we're having a girl 🤗So 2 April girls in this thread @Waitingformiracle !? For me it feels more real knowing the gender, we'd have been happy either way but we just wanted to find out and now it feels like we can plan more. Also really starting to show now and can sometimes feel some kicks and movement which is really exciting, and again makes it seem real! Up till now I've hardly been able to believe it still! We have the anomaly scan this Friday which I am a bit anxious about, everything's been fine so far but when they're going to be looking so thoroughly it is hard not to worry a bit.

@MocktailMe four cycles and unlimited FETs is definitely as close to a guarantee as you’ll get I think! I know that the unknown is so hard to come to terms with though and I definitely struggled with that a lot. Amazing though that you now have a way of getting those dominant follicles on the side you lost your tube, science is really amazing when you think about it!

@Tater05 congratulations to you too on finding out it’s a girl! Yes two April girls 🩷! I’m due the end of April. And I totally agree with you, I’d have been so happy either way but it definitely helps solidify things knowing the gender. So nice you are feeling her move which I’m sure is so reassuring! Wishing you the best for your anomaly scan this Friday. I think it’s very natural to be nervous about it, it’s a huge hurdle but I’m sure all will be well and will be great to get such a detailed check on the baby.