Long time trying club

[Stillwinston]

Welcome to the club that nobody wants to be a member of....just looking for others who are in a similar boat to me and fancy a safe space to moan and get some support.

For my part, we're currently TTC no.2 but have now been trying for 3 years, I had a MC in August 2022 but haven't had even a whisper of a line since then. Even though every month I know my tests are going to be negative I still stupidly get my hopes up and then feel crushed all over again - I'm the personification of that quote about insanity, doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result 😂 we had a chat with a fertility clinic last week so are likely starting treatment in the next couple of months though I'm hoping beyond hope that we can conceive before then as it's so crazy expensive!!

Anyway, hopefully there are some others out there that can relate and understand the pain of the never ending 2WW 😩

How old are you OP?

I'm 38 so time is unfortunately not on my side either 😩

Hey!

3 years sounds very tough, sorry 🌺. How old is your first?

We've been TTC baby 2. On cycle 12, AF due this weekend. First was concieved on cycle 1 but he has had his share of health issues and surgeries but all good now 😊

Hi! That sounds so difficult, I’m sorry. I don’t know if I can join as I’ve only been TTC number 1 for 10 months. But I feel you on the never ending 2ww. Every month I’m convinced it will be our time, but it just hasn't happened.

Hi @Fairy0708 and @Leaht23 - thanks for your messages! There's no quantifying time for 'long time' so you're more than welcome here 😄

Our first turns 4 in 2.5 weeks - when we started trying I was dead set on a small age gap and now it's looking like it'll be a minimum of 5 years at this rate!

@Fairy0708 so pleased to hear that your LO is doing much better now, that must have been so scary. My son had surgery at 9 weeks so I know a bit of how scary it is but it sounds like your LO had a tough year, I'm so pleased that you're on the other side of that now ❤️

@Leaht23 it's so tough when it doesn't happen straight away, especially when it's your first. It took us 2 years to conceive our son and so I completely understand your frustration each month. Sending you lots of baby dust for this cycle 💐

Where are you both in your cycles - I'm CD23 so imminently anticipating AF. Obviously tested this morning and got a BFN, you'd have thought I'd have learnt by this point 😂

I’m 8dpo CD27, I also tested this morning and squinted at the stick for a good 10 minutes but definitely nothing there 😂 I have to buy the big packs of tests from Amazon these days as I’ve actually got an addiction!

@Stillwinston 🌺 so sorry to hear about your lil ones surgery too xx I've agonised over the age gap. To tell the truth I was adamant that I would never have more due to my son's health issues and then he turned 2 and it was like a switch. It's like the universe is saying haha to me for making me now wait! In all honestly, I'm really starting to see the pros of a bigger age gap. I really think there are pros and cons to big or small gaps.

@Leaht23 it must be very tough on this journey for number 1. How old are you?

Have either of you ladies had any tests? We've had SA, general bloods, scans, AMH test and hycosy 🤔 all seems ok except my hubby's morphology is 5% so just above the normal threshold.

Oh and I got my opk on CD13 and on CD23. Expect AF CD28-30 as cycles average 27-29 days

It's so tough isn't it? I've been TTC #3 for almost 2.5 years now (I think I'm past the 30 cycles mark) ever since the early miscarriage of a surprise pregnancy back in March 2022. Nothing much here either, other than a CP back last November (and possibly another one a couple of months ago). Every month now I tell myself we'll stop if I'm unsuccessful again, but I've not had the strength to completely give up yet.

After TTC DD1 and 2 were difficult (16 months and 12 months respectively) I was in a way slightly overjoyed /amazed that the suprise had happened so quickly (after a couple of weeks where I'd been a bit flakey taking the pill), but no...it wasn't to be...and now I think I've surpassed the combined TTC time of both my daughters...

I'm 42 now 😩

@Leaht23 omg, I hate to admit this but I have an Amazon subscription for the cheapies as I test so much 🫣 8dpo is still very early though so will keep my fingers crossed for you

@Fairy0708 we previously had tests and my husband's sperm morphology and motility was terrible so we were told ICSI was our only option. Whatever the reason however we found out I was pregnant the day we were due to start IVF! We're booked in for my scans and AMH test and husband's sperm analysis on the 22nd so we'll see what the score is this time round

@curliegirlie welcome 🤗 though I'm so sorry you're in this horrible position also, it's absolutely draining isn't it. And really sorry to hear about your MC, sounds like we've had a very similar journey 😕 I also constantly say that we're not going to bother anymore or that I don't even want another child and then the TWW comes around and I become completely fixated on it and then so disappointed when AF comes. Think it's probably a self-protection measure but it doesn't really help 🤦🏼‍♀️

Have you gone for any tests at all?

I'm on a similar cycle though think my luteal phase is a bit shorter than yours so I'm due AF tomorrow or Thursday. When are you planning on testing?

Reading the above I really want to emphasis now fortunate I was with baby 1. Still do this day I don't take it for granted. I was convinced we would have a long journey with number 1.

@Stillwinston I don't usually test except the last few cycles I've got in the habit of testing the day before AF so I have asked hubby to hide the tests until I am actually late!

Sorry for all the typos above, really should proof read!

We have been TTC DC2 for over a year now and I am exhausted from it. A big complication for us is that I have a chronic health condition that can't be treated while we are TTC (and during pregnancy, if we're that lucky) so I am in severe pain most days. I am constantly feeling torn between stopping TTC so that I can go back on meds and feel better, and be a happier/more active mum to my DS, or to keep trying and hoping each month while being in constant pain. I feel like my life is on hold a bit until we either conceive or decide to stop trying as there are so many things my health stops me from doing. And I would so love a second child, and a sibling for DS. DH is also desperate for a second one and wants to keep trying. It's hard.

I am 43 now. DS was conceived when I was 40, no treatment involved but it did take us almost a year of trying. I think I was pregnant earlier this year - faint positive line on a test, all the early symptoms, period later than it's ever been (except when I was pregnant with DS of course) and I was cautiously overjoyed... Then suddenly my period arrived. I think maybe there was a fertilised egg but my luteal phase as too short for it to take. I didn't even know that was a thing until it happened. So for now, more waiting and hoping.

I hope you all have amazing baby luck as soon as possible 🙏🏻

Hi ladies, sending lots of positivity and fertility dust to each of you!

I had my daughter 4 years ago age 37 (very quick, 2nd cycle of trying) but have just now fallen pregnant for the second time (I'm 7 weeks). For those 4 years we didn't use any contraception or do anything to prevent pregnancy yet not a sniff of anything for 4 whole years!

In fairness, I never test early as don't want to pick up a chemical so there could have been some of those where I've been late and heavier than normal but no confirmed pregnancy in that time.

I'm now 41 and just praying this one sticks.

Good luck to you all

Sending my best wishes to all of you, it’s hard. We’ve been ttc #3 for about 2 years, when we conceived first two very easily. I can only imagine what it’s like entering a ttc #2 when it was a long time waiting for #1. I’m 42 so assuming it’s just true fertility falls off a cliff. My tests have been fine and just waiting for DH results.

Very close to just giving up though, I feel too old now :(

@Stillwinston I don't know how you lasted 3.5 years of TTC! We're just over a year in of TTC #2 and hopefully should be starting IVF too in the next couple of months.

DC1 was conceived in 6 cycles at 35 , then got pregnant at 37 by accident, unfortunately it was ectopic and ruptured so lost my tube. We've been trying since then and nothing. Because the last 2 times we conceived it was relatively quickly I'm feeling like something is wrong which is why I want to move to IVF asap and hopefully have some answers.

I do also have issues with one of my ovaries (the one with the tube!) but the other is sort of compensating for it.

Are any of you ladies taking any supplements? I'm taking folic and vit D. Read so much on co-q10.

I was prescribed 6 months of clomid but no monitoring to go with it and I've had scans to show I'm ovulating, so based on my own research and gut instincts I'm not taking it!

@HappySquid welcome! Though that sounds really tough, I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with chronic pain constantly, no wonder you're finding TTC draining. Sending virtual hugs and tonnes of baby dust ❤️

Thanks so much for a positive story @sel2223 and many congratulations on your pregnancy - wishing you a smooth road from here on out 🥰

@Beginningless happy to have you here though sorry that you're having to go through it as well 😩 tbf, I imagine it's tougher if you conceived fairly easily previously and are now having to deal with infertility, hopefully in this group we can all help each other as we understand the frustration and sadness each month. Sending positivity and baby dust your way 💐

Hi @Confusedddddddd 🤗 I completely applaud you for going and getting on with IVF, in hindsight I wish we'd started 1 years ago but we just couldn't afford it and I was somewhat delusional that it would happen then next month....have you had any tests yet?

I'm only taking pregnacare advanced which the consultant recommended, hubby is taking proceed and there's another we've been told to get but I can't remember it for the life of me 🤦🏼‍♀️ think you're right not to take the Clomid if there was monitoring to go with it (though I can't quite understand why they'd prescribe it and not want to check it was working 🤔).

Has anyone incorporated alternative therapies at all? My friend swore by the pregnancy acupuncture she had and another friend has suggested reiki....