been ttc#1 forever (and a bit longer) ....

[nomoremagnolia]

Thought it was time for a new thread - we're almost out of room on the original one

KD - I am sorry to hear how worried you are, but as others have said it will probably turn out good in the end (I will keep my fingers crossed for you)

Nomore - I am so sorry to hear that you got your AF, life isn't fair sometimes is it.

Eachpeach - I know what it's like to think "lets try for another month etc etc..." but I honestly would advise you to get some tests done, not saying that this is going to happen to you but I was trying for 18 months before I had my lap, and they found severe endometreosis and cysts on my ovaries, they said I only had about 2% chance of falling naturally so it was best that I went to get it checked out. Hope I haven't worried you because I really don't want to do that but I would get it checked out if I were you.

Bonnie - thanks for your input, I will think about it. I guess I hadn't really thought about endometreosis or any other treatments apart from Clomid and IUI and IVF. Hmm...

EachPeach, I went for a chat with my gp after about a year of ttc, and she arranged for the basic tests first of all ? progesterone Day 21 and thyroid ? blood test, and internal check and smear/swabs for any infections. To be honest, I would suggest you go for all these basic things as soon as you are ready ? there is no need for a referral for sperm tests (although your dh can get those done independently if he is eager to know) hsg etc. So you can definitely take things at your own speed. How old are you? Sorry if that is nosy?

Rah, have a ruddy good time in DR ? sorry to hear that it is CD1 for you babe, but look to the positives (don?t slap me) you can have a wonderful holiday and not be wandering what if? and then you can look forward to the ivf with a completely relaxed mind!!
I am certainly back in the real world since my holiday although I still have a little bit of colour.

How is everyone doing?

Each Hi,
Its ur own private choice when you go to the Docs, it doesnt really matter what everyone else has done, although i understand why you would want to know. I didnt go untill three years, but alot went on in that three years so it wasnt till then that the time was right for me to go. It took alot of courage to go, im sure im not the only one to feel that way, it was scary! I do wish i had gone earlier though due to how long stuff takes to happen. But you must go when u and DH feel ready. All they will probably do at first are some blood tests for you and sperm tests for DH, it will determine wether ur ovulating or not and the obviouse for him, everything might be fine, then you know to just continue for a while on ur own, see how u feel but its up to u, thats what i would say.

nomore Im so sorry.

kd what a shite decision to have to make, jesus, if FTC time and time again isnt bad enough u have to face decisions like that when you finally do, im sorry, it sucks!

Hi to everyone else!!!

Right you lot... I'm off on my hol's. Hope you all have a good week.

I have my fingers crossed for you Gilly, that on my return I get some good news from you.

Ready - I hope your holiday magic worked too, and I more good news from you too!

Nomore - hope you OK,,, sending you lots of love.

KD - hope you are OK and your tests (if you go that way) come back perfect, which I'm sure they will.

EachPeachPearPlum - they say approach the doctors at around 12 months of TTC, just for some routine tests. Always worth doing in case they pick something up and can deal with it straight away.

Hi to everyone else...

I'm off now and packing up my laptop for a weeks rest.... I will be back the following Tues... slightly browner!

Thanks guys. Ready - I'm 26 and so is DH, so I guess from that point of view a few months isn't going to make a big difference. I think the main thing I'm putting off is the blood tests as I'm slightly phobic of needles and I don't want to have to have any unneccesarily if that makes sense. Also my doctor isn't very nice and I haven't found one at the practice that is yet so I'm also nervous about the initial appointment itself.

Rah - hope you have a great holiday!

nomore - hope you're doing ok.

(((gilly))) so sorry

((Sorry gilly))

I am so sorry Gilly - thank you for the information and good look on Friday

We've basically decided not to go for invasive testing as the risk of miscarriage is greater than the risk of having a downs syndrome child. What will be will be and hopefully we will be blessed with a healthy child.

Eachpeach you are alot younger than I, but my one regret is not seeing my GP earlier.

Ready glad the holiday was good!

So sorry Gilly, big hugs babe. Thinking of you.

We really haven't had much good news on this here thread - so I reckon that the tide will turn soon, and there will be a rush of lots of good news. WE WILL get there. WE WILL.

It's CD3 for me, and I am pretty mixed at the moment. Obviously I am gutted, that our best shot in 22 cycles was not successful, and I am sort of resigned to the fact that we will probably need assistance of some kind. I really need to start working on the mental side of that, because I do have a phobia of it - but it turns out that our local area doesn't assist "unexplained fertility" until 3 years of ttc - so we have time.

Ah. Who knows what will happen. When I say I am mixed, it is really because whilst I am sad about ftc, I am ever the optimist, and continue to believe that it will happen.

Sorry this is all me, me, me.

ECHO ECHO ECHO

Ready don't apologise for posting me me me - we're here to support each other and you're always the first to be there cheering people up. I totally understand how you feel about failing despite giving it your best efforts, every month we kid ourselves into thinking 'well maybe we missed the right day' but when you've tried extra hard then to fail is even worse as you can't console yourself with 'if we only try harder it will happen next month'
enough rambling...now where's that glass of wine I had a minute ago

I didn't have a bottle of wine to crack open this evening... so I settled for a disaronno and coke

I totally agree... the "if only we'd tried harder" crutch is so easy to lean on at times... and when that is removed it is ruddy hard to handle.

I went to visit my friend and laid her 3 week old on my tummy and asked him to do his magic... here's hoping he had a word with the eggs

Ready, I so love disaronno and coke hope it tasted good.....

Hope everyone is well

We decided we are not going to have further tests for downs syndrome. We wanted a baby and it looks like we might be lucky this time (after several mc and years of ttc), so I can't consider terminating unless the outcome at the 20 wks scan is really dire. Thanks for all your messages and support, our baby may or may not be perfect, but it will be loved come what may.

Did you all know that someone told me to put a nutmeg under my bed at night and move it under the pillow during the day? A friend bought my nutmeg earlier this year and I love my nutmeg!!!!!!!!

kd, your baby WILL be perfect whatever happens.

Ready I know exactly what you mean about being eternally optimistic! Especially when you hear about lots of people who conceived naturally after failed IVF or after 7 years or things like that. I'm coming to the realisation that it's not about how hard I try though - I was obsessed with the right day and vitamins and healthy eating a year ago and now I think yes it's good to get that right, but even if we do it perfectly it's still not guaranteed because it's not something we're in control of.

kd - glad you've made a decision you're happy with, and 1 in 100 still seems really low to me anyway. What's the nutmeg for???

Hi nomore. Hope you're feeling better this week. Are you going to have a few natural cycles now before the next IVF, or are you planning to start again as soon as possible?

gilly - hope you're feeling ok too.

I'm feeling kind of strange today because I went to visit a friend who is dying over the weekend and I've not ever had to do that before. She's in her 70's, so not someone my age and she was fine really - she seemed happy and peaceful about it and she said she really felt God's presence. Not sure why I'm sharing this here - it just affected me a lot!

Hi to Rah, viksam, Bonnie, evergrounded and herbaceous! Is that everyone?

The phrase 'IUI' reminds me of that Kajagoogoo song 'too shy shy, hush hush, eye-oo-eye...' Anyone else remember that??

Well, CD1 again for me. Took me somewhat by surprise. A return to 28-day cycles again, which had been knocked off course by taking agnus castus and EPO, so none of that...

Have an appointment at a fertility clinic, but also have a form from the adoption people, which ask if I'm seeing a consultant for anything! And you can't do fertility treatment at the same time as adoption... So, do I lie, do I cancel the appointment, or what.

As all I think I need is an HSG, I might just go to a private hospital, get it done, and get out, so I get it over with, and can then fill in the form without lying!

Herbaceous Sorry to hear your on CD1, hope you're ok. Don't know what to say is for the best re the adoption process except that I hope it goes well, I think it would depend on my age as to whether I fibbed or not. Finally, thanks for getting that not to great tune on repeat in my head

Gilly Congratulations on the new job, please don't worry about the IUI cycle co-inciding. I changed jobs, took a lower salary, received little job satisfaction so I could be prepared to dedicate myself to parenthood. Eventually gave that up and got myself the dream job and wow what do you know!!!!!!!

Each A friend told me that a nutmeg under your pillow during the day and under the bed at night was supposed to bring luck in the baby front. I told friend that I wanted a nutmeg from her and she gave it to me in Feb / March this year. I conceived in March / April and this is the first pg to have lasted.

Ready thanks for your message. Whilst not wanting to sound ungrateful, I absolulely hate being sick and then peeing yourself at the same time is not an attractive, sexy look I aspire too. DP bought me a bowl so I can throw up and pee all the same time (bless him) who needs flowers and chocs eh? Hopefully things will settle soon and I can start blooming instead of feeling like wilting.

Hi to everyone else not mentioned, I hope everyone is "tickety boo"

Gilly - congratulations! Is the new job still in London or are you moving again?

Herbaceous - I would really worry about lying over something this important in case they found out and didn't approve you for adoption. I know that's the worse case scenario but it seems to me like it's not worth the risk. Can you do what Gilly said and see the consultant before you fill the form in?

I don't know that song unfortunately!

kd that's funny about the nutmeg

GGGNNNNNNN. Farking adoption people are driving me round the bend. It took from December to March to organise an initial meeting with a social worker, at which DP and I went through our four miscarriages in the past three years, how it's made us stronger, time for a new phase etc.

Just been on a three-day 'adoption preparation' course, and a feedback meeting, at which DP referred to our tough few years, in response to a question about our relationship. One of the social workers was taking notes. Today, I got a phonecall from head SW saying he wanted to meet us and talk about what we meant by 'our relationship having been rocky for the past year'. WHAT? I tried to explain over the phone, but no. We have to take time off to go over something that was written down wrongly, and which we'd been over before anyway. People say it's an uphill struggle, but FFS.

And, the dilemma about the consultant. The thing is, as I've conceived four times in the past three years, I suspect there isn't actually anything wrong, except old age. The only things I gather that can be checked out are blocked tube, via an HSG, and ovulation (cured with clomid). But I'm pretty sure I'm ovulating - temp spikes, day 21 prog level of 70, etc. So... do I go and see a fertility specialist, who charges £200 for consultation, and £3000 for an HSG, or just pay £1000 for an HSG at a private hospital, and assume I'm ovulating? And get it all out the way before I have to fill in the adoption form, always assuming they don't turn us down anyway?

GIBBER GIBBER GIBBER.

Hi ladies, hope you are all doing ok.

Have just popped back to make sure you all saw an article in the Times yday? I saw it and thought of this thread.

www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article4201163.ece

It is basically saying that couples that need IVF are not getting the right amount of attempts. It tells you which hospitals have better records, and that kind of thing. Hope some of you might find it interesting. Id advise NOT reading the comments below the article, one in particular almost made my head explode in anger....

Been on holiday for the last two weeks which has taken my mind of my anxiety about my scan which is tomorrow! Im very excited, but very nervous. I guess that is probably normal after TTC for quite a while.

Anyways, hugs to all, sorry not to reply to each of your threads but Im at the airport and scrolling takes an abso age!