TTC after loss part 5

[Ella31]

Just continuing our old thread. I've added anyone who has asked to stay on here. As always, anyone who is trying after a loss is welcome to join and those who have been lucky since are welcome to encourage those who are still waiting for their rainbow (if you want to stay of course )

Also for the next thread, I'm going to let someone else take over creating the new one if people don't mind. I've a lot on at the moment with tests and I'm back to work in the next few weeks after my bereavement leave with my boys. So if anyone would like to take the mantle, feel free.

Im 2dpo today and have another ultrasound on Wednesday to see if follicle has burst followed by pdg blood test.

@Onthedouble123
@DonnaWhat
@moosey89
@Bellebg
@Lovedatforme
@Ncl31
@PearlCat
@LucyCL
@CadoAvo
@ThelastRolo20
@Figtree11

I hope you get a relaxing break @Joleyjojo

I was still on antiemetics for 2-3 days after my miscarriage, nausea for another few days. It was probably 2 weeks before I got my appetite back. I got my negative test yesterday after 3 weeks.

We have had sex a couple of times based on how we felt and are waiting for my period to return to be more regular. I've never done any tracking of my cycle though

I'd stay quiet and do what feels right for you. I don't have the sort of relationship with my mum that I would share this sort of thing. The advantage is few opinions on life choices!

@Joleyjojo glad you're recovering.

It took me between 2.5-3 weeks each time to get a negative test. I started ovulation testing that same morning. Xx

@CadoAvo sorry. Keep holding strong.

Happy Weekend everyone! How is everyone? How are you all getting on?

@DonnaWhat happy weekend! I'm at my best friend in Wales helping her with her 11 month old as she fractured her neck in a hit and run a couple of weeks ago. He just started walking a few days ago so it's mainly consisting of following him around the house 😂

Aside from that I'm 4 days into a new cycle and have realised that if timing is as it should be, most of the 2ww (the bit where I'd be tempted to test early in particular) would be spent on holiday in Cornwall so I'm keeping everything crossed that's the case as it's the perfect distraction!

How are you doing?

Thank you. I will leave it 2 weeks and see what the test says. Just not sure how I will feel seeing either result.
I am feeling ok, I haven’t had any bowel movements since Monday surgery Wednesday and I’m feeling so uncomfortable. Apart from that I am trying to just look forward to our holiday on Wednesday.

@DonnaWhat struggling a bit 4days post D&C. I have a last minute holiday to look forward to flying Wednesday so hoping that is going to help a bit.

how are you ? X

@moosey89 oh, baby will be into everything now they are walking 😆😆😆 it's good that the tww falls when you're away, a good distraction from sending you doolally like it did with me. I have everything crossed for a good fertile month for you. I'm doing OK, everything is going as it should 🥰

@Joleyjojo I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you're able to get some rest when you can. A holiday will do you good. Try and drink some fresh orange or pineapple to see if that will help you go to the loo. I'm doing OK so far. Are you going to try again in the future? Xxxx

3 months post loss and I am really fed up. 2nd cycle of TTC and currently on cd18 and no sign of ovulation still. I had a rough cycle last cycle with is lasting 38 days and getting a week long LH surge from cd21. I have had blood test done whilst I was in the surge and everything looked ok but something must be going on early month to affect ovulation. Pre loss I got a peak on cd15.
I know things can take awhile to settle down but it's so hard when each cycle is longer than usual.
I need to message on here more often instead of just sulking in the corner feeling upset. It doesn't help that my sister in law has just told me she is 12 weeks pregnant after her loss in march so she managed to get pregnant 3 months after loss and here I am 3 months after loss struggling to get my body to work

@Mummysparrow pregnancy announcements are so so tough when you're in the trenches of TTC after loss. It's no surprise you're feeling down - we've all been there and it massively sucks. Sometimes life is just utter shit and it's impossible not to compare to other journeys ❤️ all you can do is keep testing - my peak would come and go in a day so I hope it's not too long before you see them darken.

It varies by person of course but would it help to not do OPKs for a bit and just have regular sex? I found the idea of thinking "I could be in the TWW" more hopeful and positive, which helped me. But of course keep testing if that's helping you! Xx

The problem is my husband uses the excuse he is tired a lot when it comes to sex so knowing I have had my peaks and about to ovulate will give him the push. Preloss we knew when my fertile period was and that reduced the pressure.
The annoying things is that I have pressure at work too so that may not be helping things. I am trying to do stuff to reduce the stress and anxiety though. I wish I knew if some of my vitamins were pushing back ovulation or whether there is a vitamin that I am missing that would help bring things forward

@Mummysparrow its so difficult. It’s 7 weeks since my last period. Might have ovulated a week ago, but I’m not sure.
I have been DTD every 2-3 days for 6 weeks now 🫤 We are fed up of it now!
Feeling very fed up now. Should be here with a 2 month old. Or I should be 30 weeks pregnant. Instead I am here worried about it all, and just desperate to be pregnant.

Sorry I’m no help, but you’re not alone in how you’re feeling

Big hugs for everyone in this draining process. I'm something like 33 cycles post MC in March 2022, just entering my TWW but without any chance this cycle as I think we only DTD 3 days before my positive OPK so it would be a bloody miracle. In this time I've seen 2 colleagues in my team announce pregnancies and go off on mat leave, various mums at the school gates, it'll be the two year anniversary of the due date this November and all I've had in the interim is one definite CP (and a couple of maybes). Yes I'm 42 but know so many people (friends and relatives) who have managed it in their early 40s, why not me.....😩

@Figtree11 i totally get where you’re coming from. My cycles have been messed up post the second MMC too. Just starting AF now and so must have ovulated CD 57. I’m tracking ovulation to avoid rather than try to conceive (for now, but most likely permanently). I have a GP appointment booked to discuss contraception in 2 weeks but don’t want anything hormonal so will probably stick to tracking and condoms for now in case we change our minds back.
Also annoyingly I have realised my weight gain over the past few months is probably hormonal and associated with the pregnancies. I signed up to a 12 week programme at my gym with a personal trainer that involves measuring, weighing etc. The PT is a young male and he didn’t ask/I didn’t say I had recently had miscarriages. Despite exercising more than ever I’ve realised I’m a dress size up (now an 12) and about 5kg heavier than before the MMCs. I gained a lot of weight when pregnant with my daughter, I’m sure it’s a hormonal thing. I have the final weighing coming up with the PT soon and am dreading it, think I’ll just cancel. I probably haven’t cut myself enough slack given what we have been through.
It’s so frustrating having the weight gain though with nothing to show for it!
On a positive note though I am really enjoying all the exercise.

My brother and his wife are pregnant with their second. They only started trying a few months ago. Just had 12 week scan. I'm utterly broken.

I'm sorry - it's so unfair ❤️

@curliegirlie that’s so so tough, I’m really sorry it’s been a difficult journey for you. It is so difficult watching peoples lives play out how you want them to for yourself

@CurlyWurly1991 I’m sorry you are having messed up cycles too. But hearing that you are makes me realise how normal it can actually be after loss. I just want to snap my fingers & everything be ok.
How are you feeling now about your decision on not TTC?
That’s great that you’re enjoying exercise, I feel like I need a hobby. I too gained weight in pregnancy but only a couple of pounds to lose now. Just struggling with motivation to do anything

@moosey89 that’s such difficult news to hear, I’m sorry. Life just is so unfair

It's my dad's wedding this weekend so I have to see them there as well. Horrible timing. And my dad's partner's daughter was due late August so I imagine there will be chat about her baby too. I think I might just go for the ceremony and leave right after the dinner. I don't want to face anyone 😞

@moosey89 do they know what you’ve been through? Could you say to your brother you’re struggling & to not chat about it much in front of you

Jumping in to say I am so sorry @moosey89, these announcements are so hard. As someone who got called out for not having the ‘right’ reaction to a close family member’s pregnancy announcement, I just wanted to say that you don’t owe them any particular reaction, and the most important thing you can do is protect yourself as best you can. Sending love xx

Thank you @Wise0wl

@Figtree11 yeah they know my history and are generally thoughtful (at least they were the first time) - I just don't think anyone who hasn't been through this sort of situation can really understand if that makes sense? They will keep the conversation away from me, but I can't imagine no one asking or saying anything. I'm also dreading old family friends asking me about if I have kids etc and that will be much harder to avoid.

Yeah I totally get that @moosey89 people can make all the right noises to make out they understand. But you really don’t know unless you go through it yourself. I do really feel for you, these situations are so hard. Just do what’s right for you, and if you need to leave early, or remove yourself from situations then don’t feel bad about it

@moosey89 I'm sorry, it's so shit..Nothing helps I get it, but you will have your day xxx

@Mummysparrow I obviously had 2 early mc and my neonatal twin deaths. My ovulation was fecked with all three. My ovulation after my twins went up to day 20 as opposed to day 16. The only thing I can say is my doc said the luteal phase is more important than the ovulation date. Also last month when i conceived I had gone off all pregnancy bits except folic acid and vit d. My ovulation went back to day 16. It's a natural brand called viridian. I found it great.

How is everyone else doing?

@Ella31 thanks, I'm not sure I will though. I've not got much left to give. I think it's nearly time to stop trying and just move on with life.

I am so sorry we are all going through this. It all seems really unfair. When I walked out of the hospital following my D&C I saw several heavily pregnant women smoking, one shouting at a midwife/nurse saying that her social worker was “shit”. We did everything by the book and seems so wrong .
I appreciate that I sound judgey and awful thinking that way I just felt like it was so unfair.
praying that we all have our time and when we do it is going to be the most magical happiest time. (Trying to have a positive outlook) I have really struggled today xxx

@CurlyWurly1991 Having a pt (and they will tell you) even if you don't lose weight, fat can turn to muscle and in turn it may look like you haven't lost weight but you've toned up and got fitter. I did a 6 week intense fitness course 2 years ago. I didn't lose much weight but my shape certainly changed for the better and I was slimmer. Don't give up hope when you've worked so hard.