TTC after loss part 5

[Ella31]

Just continuing our old thread. I've added anyone who has asked to stay on here. As always, anyone who is trying after a loss is welcome to join and those who have been lucky since are welcome to encourage those who are still waiting for their rainbow (if you want to stay of course )

Also for the next thread, I'm going to let someone else take over creating the new one if people don't mind. I've a lot on at the moment with tests and I'm back to work in the next few weeks after my bereavement leave with my boys. So if anyone would like to take the mantle, feel free.

Im 2dpo today and have another ultrasound on Wednesday to see if follicle has burst followed by pdg blood test.

@Onthedouble123
@DonnaWhat
@moosey89
@Bellebg
@Lovedatforme
@Ncl31
@PearlCat
@LucyCL
@CadoAvo
@ThelastRolo20
@Figtree11

I actually did the same last month. I've every finger and toe crossed @Ncl31

10dpo....have taken 2 tests this morning and pretty sure they are bfn. But on the frer, I think I can see the faintest second line but can't pick it up on camera and think my eyes could just be playing tricks on me.

Af arrived a day early for me today. On to the next cycle. I have an x-ray this afternoon so it's wierdy nice that it's a day early so I know there's no risk.

This cycle my partner has his semen analysis for our fertility clinic referral, that's the last test so hopefully we won't have to wait too long to know when our appointment will be with the fertility nurse. We should also get the results of the genetic blood test we both had done. So at least things are happening this cycle. It's also my dad's wedding in 10 days, and we go to Cornwall with my partner's family as well for a week's break, first holiday for a long while x

Opinions please? My eyes are going square and pretty sure it's negative but can't help thinking my eyes are making me see things, maybe because I want to see it so bad.

I initially thought I could see something but again it could be my eyes causing me to see things.
test again in a few days

I’m not sure I see anything @CadoAvo, sorry. It could still be too early though

@Figtree11 thank you

@ncl31 thannks, interesting you thought you could see something at first. I'm the same, I think I see something then it disappears.

Will see how the next few days go.

It's so much harder to see on the picture but I'm sure I can see something in the first one!! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

Thank you, oh I hope so.
Earlier on today I also had quite a bit of faint yellow tinged cm. I haven't had that since my first pregnancy so really hoping it's a good sign.

@CadoAvo Best of luck 🤞

@HerbaceousPerennial Congratulations !!!

@Joleyjojo I’m very sorry to hear this, it is a horrible experience to go through. I’m 38 and had two MMCs this year one after the other - first 6.5 then 8.5 weeks. It is so cruel that your symptoms keep going. I couldn’t believe it the second time - but was already sobbing by the time they started the scan. It is very traumatic.

in terms of trying again I did read a lot of advice and the consensus was to wait until you get a negative test. There is some evidence that conceiving in the three months after miscarriage reduces the chance of a second miscarriage. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case for me but I think many people will successfully conceive straight after. The emotional toll takes time, though.

We decided to stop TTC after the second miscarriage. I had a wobble recently and wanted to try again but DH was quite firm that he couldn’t see me go through another miscarriage after two EPRCs in a few months. It was a bit of a relief to have a hard no, because it stopped me wondering and means I can start to move on. We have recently passed the due date for the first miscarriage and the second one is November. It took months for the emotional toll to hit me - perhaps I’m still waiting for the full throttle of it. Advancing age pressures make it harder, because you feel that each month is more urgent. I wish you the very best and hope your recovery goes well xx

Thank you so much and I am so very sorry for your losses. I am home and recovering but definitely in more pain than I was expecting.
I also had a very traumatic time when waking from the general .I had convinced myself I had just had a C section and wanted them to hand me the baby. This lasted around 10 minutes and scared me.
Although I have mentioned about TTC I’m actually not too sure. I really don’t think I could put ourselves through it. A bit of rest and relaxation and get back to feeling normal before making any decisions.

xxxxx

@Joleyjojo That is awful about waking from the general like that, you are often very disorientated - what a horrible feeling for you. The pain can be unsettling - hope you can get dosed up on paracetamol? I had some weird pains in my bum for weeks after both times but it passed. Take care and rest up xx

@CurlyWurly1991 the due dates are so hard, and the emotional recovery takes a lot longer than we first anticipate, I think.

There is as much strength in deciding to stop as there is in deciding to carry on. Neither journey is an easy one to pursue and I have no doubt you'll navigate your chosen way forward with the support of your partner and family ❤️ I'm glad it's brought a level of closure for you x

@moosey89 i’m sorry AF arrived. I hope you have a nice time in Cornwall. Let us know how you get on with your genetic blood test results.

@Joleyjojo i hope you are doing a bit better today and not in as much pain

It's hugely personal when enough is enough or when you want to take a step back on actively TTC.

I have a colleague who had secondary infertility and went through IVF and loss and hurt. Soon after her 40th birthday she decided to have a hysterectomy because she wanted to reclaim control and stop the monthly disappointment. There aren't many things in life that hit you with a reminder of what isn't compared to conception. The constant toing and throwing between what could be and what isn't is quite unique. You can wake up feeling like you have won the lottery and go to bed feeling destitute. There is no one right answer. One woman might have lines in her head X miscarriage or Y months without conceiving and I'm done. For another it could be more or less. What feels right one month might not feel right a few months later. We are complicated beings and that's ok.

I got my negative test today. I never thought I would be so pleased to see a negative but it means we can start again. I'm hoping my period comes along soon but I feel ready to start again. I picked up a book from the library the other day. I put it on hold a few weeks ago before the miscarriage. It's a fiction book about a midwife. I probably should have cancelled the hold but I didn't. The opening storyline has been about infertility and I cried through the first chapters in the bath but the characters have just formed a support group. I know it's fiction and not real life but the being there for others when going through turmoil has been uplifting. It can feel so lonely and like you are in a bubble but it's reminding me that together we are strong and by talking we get stronger and you never know what the person sat next to you has experienced.

Any update lovely? X

@Superscientist i’m pleased you got your negative today. I’ve also felt relief once that happens so you can start to move forward. I hope that it doesn’t take long for your cycles to return.

It feels very quiet on this thread recently, as I guess so many people have had their BFPs now.

6 weeks since my last period now, and feeling a bit low about it all. Think I may have ovulated this week but not sure. Very worried that if I don’t get pregnant & my period comes, then I’ll be waiting another age to ovulate again and I’ll be in October/november before I get the chance to try again

@Figtree11 I hope your cycles start to regulate better for you. How many dpo do you think you are? Did you manage to get some bany dancing in? Xx

@Figtree11 i know only too well how it feels to have long cycles. I have PCOS and often have cycles which are 70-80 days long.
I’ve just had funding approved for ovulation induction for 6 months.
do you know why you have long cycles?

@DonnaWhat thank you. I think perhaps around 2dpo. But I’m really not sure if I have ovulated so will be a waiting game. Yeah we’ve been dtd every 2 days, sometimes 3. We are very sick of it now!

@Ncl31 sorry you are experiencing similar, it sucks. That’s really good news about ovulation induction - is it medication?
I think mine are due to the miscarriages. Most recent one was the partial molar, which happened start of May, and then my HCG didn’t get to 0 until end of July, so all the hormones I think have affected it

Still bfn 😢

Was at a funeral all day yesterday. I was there in support of my best friend. Her other friend was there too and I didn't know she was pregnant until i arrived and sat down next to her, she's due 5 days after my would be due date in November. I was very happy for her but later on when we were sitting together someone was asking her all about her pregnancy, and how exciting it will be to have a baby by Christmas etc etc and I just had to keep my brave face on until the conversation passed.

I'm so sorry, that's so tough and you did amazingly to get through it ❤️ it's like a punch to the gut isn't it xx

@CadoAvo i’m sorry, that’s so difficult. I’m not sure I could have sat there & listened as I also have a November due date. You were very brave to sit through it

Hi everyone I hope your all doing ok.
The physical pain from the D&C is fading and the bleeding is just brown thick discharge (tmi sorry). I feel sad but also relieved it’s over. I still have slight nausea still but hoping that will go over the next few days.
we booked a last minute holiday to corfu leaving on Wednesday no kids just me and my BF for a week. We have had a good chat and want to use this holiday as a reset and to grieve but also be happy together, when we come back we want to try and draw a line under the sadness. I know it’s not as easy as that but I feel we are dwelling in it at moment. I have also decided that I do want to try straight away.
I obviously don’t know when my cycle will regulate and it maybe that we just have sex every few days without tracking, then track after my first period if it comes.
If I change my mind and start using my CB fertility monitor when do you suggest we start? I obviously need to get a negative PG test I assume.
we are under Tommys now but the advice is to carry on TTC.
Because of the 2 in the row my mom has asked me to let my body rest for a short time. I won’t be telling anyone we are TTC which is why this group is so helpful.

sending lots of love
xx

@Joleyjojo glad you are physically doing better. A holiday to Corfu sounds lovely, it’s always good to get away & be in different surroundings. The nice sunshine will help too!