TTC after loss part 5

[Ella31]

Just continuing our old thread. I've added anyone who has asked to stay on here. As always, anyone who is trying after a loss is welcome to join and those who have been lucky since are welcome to encourage those who are still waiting for their rainbow (if you want to stay of course )

Also for the next thread, I'm going to let someone else take over creating the new one if people don't mind. I've a lot on at the moment with tests and I'm back to work in the next few weeks after my bereavement leave with my boys. So if anyone would like to take the mantle, feel free.

Im 2dpo today and have another ultrasound on Wednesday to see if follicle has burst followed by pdg blood test.

@Onthedouble123
@DonnaWhat
@moosey89
@Bellebg
@Lovedatforme
@Ncl31
@PearlCat
@LucyCL
@CadoAvo
@ThelastRolo20
@Figtree11

That's so hard and so brave of you to do that. I've avoided people like the plague when they are pregnant. Does she know what happened to you?

@Ladyinpink1 @Superscientist @Ella31 thank you for the lovely support. She knows what I’ve been through, so we didn’t talk much about pregnancy. But hearing about it just brought it all home of what I’ve not got. Had a little cry when I got home. Been for a walk & ice cream with DP this afternoon. It’s just so unfair that it’s so difficult for a lot of us, yet for others it’s this long hard road. And any future pregnancies are just tarred with worry & anxiety

@Ladyinpink1 no signs of ovulation yet. I’m really sorry you got a bfn today. It’s so disheartening

You are an amazing, strong person to be there for your friend and stay so strong. I know you will get your bfp. I know it's so cliche but it will happen. I know now doesnt feel like it, but I feel your body is just gearing up for this gorgeous baby you are going to have soon. Xxx

Thanks @Ella31 i am feeling so rubbish this afternoon. I feel upset but also angry. I hope you are doing ok x

Thank you, can't wait for AF to arrive and to get to the next cycle for a fresh start @Figtree11 I think seeing pregnant ladies is much harder than friends with babies (also hard) but I think maybe because pregnancy is the next step we all want to be at then seeing others at that stage is really tough, sending a hug x

You have every right to be angry. I can't understand why some people have it easier than others, but I fully believe this journey will end with happiness

@Figtree11 You are completely allowed to feel the way you feel. It's ok to go from anger to sadness to envy etc. I've been through all these and I still do, even after the bfp. What you've been through is really difficult and it's ok to feel that it's unfair when it seems so much easier for others. I truly hope you get your bfp really soon. Sending you hugs!

@Ella31 how are you feeling? Are you still checking your line progression?

I also had moments like yours and after reading so many TTC threads on mumsnet, I started to understand why TTC was hard, even for me. Occasionally I felt unfair because I had MCs before people then they got pregnant before me. I can totally understand your feelings. I do believe eventually it will happen to you as long as you believe in yourself and be positive! I will still come back to see how the rest of us are doing because I remember the pain of TTC and MCs. Sending positive vibes to you!! ❤

I hope everyone is doing fine and I still think of all of us most of the days although I might not post a lot like I used to on mumsnet. Feeling positive for all of us here!

I still remember seeing two pregnant ladies on the day when I had CP. I had the urge to cry so much but I was in public and had to push the urge down. I can get you completely also with the thought of starting a new cycle for a fresh start. Having 2 MCs messed up my body and I kept waiting and waiting. I told myself to be patient and I even cried at the end of each cycle when AF arrived. I felt desperate and lost. However after a good cry, I returned to be hopeful again and kept trying the next cycle. Sometimes it is good to cry then you will feel better for a fresh start.

@Ella31 thank you so much, this is such a rough road. Hope you're feeling a bit better and managing a 'today I am pregnant' type mantra. @Figtree11 whatever shitstorm of feelings you have, it's completely ok. Give yourself some space. One of my best friends, whose older kids are similar ages to me, is due two weeks before I would have been. It was so lovely to be pregnant together and share the toughness of the first trimester together. But, she's also had multiple losses herself and when I had mine, she messaged me just saying she'd follow my lead and understood I couldn't see her for a while and when I did see her we had a big cry together. It still stung so much seeing her the first time. I think there's something a bit more generic about a pregnant tummy? Like I know someone else's baby won't look like mine.

What I actually came to say was... Those who use premom, what would you take this to mean? I have spotting as well, which I know could be ovulation but I've literally never had ovulation bleeding. Though I guess pregnancy changes cycles a bit?

Thank you all so so much, you always manage to pull me up when I’m feeling low. No one else fully understands how I’m feeling except all of you.
It does seem to hit me harder being around someone pregnant than it does babies, but usually I can just remove myself from a situation, whereas obviously this was different today. But I am feeling much better this evening. Thank you all ❤️

I understand this so much. When I miscarried at 12 weeks my friend was 6 weeks pregnant. When I miscarried the next time my friend told me two weeks after that she was 12 weeks. Honestly, I avoided them both for a solid couple of months, I just couldn't do it - it physically hurt me to see them ❤️

I'm glad you're feeling better, never feel alone xx

@Figtree11 there was a pregnant lady at my gym class this morning. First time I've ever seen someone pregnant there, really got to me as it's my safe space usually. Big hugs xx

Thanks @ThelastRolo20 its so hard watching someone’s life play out the way it was supposed to for ourselves x

@moosey89 i’m really sorry you had a tough time today too. It is so so hard x

I had spotting for 1 day and I thought it was ovulation bleeding but it was not. I don't think you have ovulated yet. My LH fluctuated a lot and the highest was 0.54. Your spotting could be caused by a sudden drop in estrogen. Keep testing until you get the peak. x

Also I use CBT to confirm ovulation. If there is a sharp rise after the CBT/BBT dip, that means ovulation has happened. I find the combination of LH strips and CBT extremely useful.

@LucyCL what's CBT?

It stands for core basal temperature. I use OvuCore sensor to measure it every night.

@Figtree11 sorry you had a tough time and glad you’re feeling better. I think it’s a powerful thing to know what we find hard and be able to manage that accordingly. The sliding doors moments are the pits. We were out yesterday and whilst I’m generally fine with babies, DH was playing with a friend’s baby and the level of joy they had in each other was really really painful to me. It was so lovely and I just felt so crap about it.

@Superscientist that sounds a really interesting job! I used to work in pharmaceutical research and as a result I love a research paper. Although I think I’m probably a bit obsessed, it’s like I think there must be a definitive answer on my miscarriages somewhere if I just keep looking. I’m working on it…

@Ladyinpink1 hello! I’m so sorry about your BFN, how are you doing today? I got one yesterday but as I have absolutely no clue where I am in my cycle I’ll test again next week. I had a fair bit to drink yesterday in the end and as a result obsessing this morning that I’ve nuked this cycle’s egg/prevented implantation/created some sort of problem. OPKs still high but they have been for a week, standard PCOS, so who knows.

Hi everyone. A wee update - 13dpo today & missed period. Will test again later with a different brand just to be sure it's not a false positive x

That's definitely a line! Congratulations xxxxx

Hi Ladies, hope you're all having a lovely weekend.

@Figtree11 Sorry to see you're going through the mill at the moment. You know you can always come here for support💗 How have you been getting on? Xxx

Just so worried incase it's a false positive or it doesn't stick. It's only been 7 weeks since I had a loss x