TTC after loss part 5

[Ella31]

Just continuing our old thread. I've added anyone who has asked to stay on here. As always, anyone who is trying after a loss is welcome to join and those who have been lucky since are welcome to encourage those who are still waiting for their rainbow (if you want to stay of course )

Also for the next thread, I'm going to let someone else take over creating the new one if people don't mind. I've a lot on at the moment with tests and I'm back to work in the next few weeks after my bereavement leave with my boys. So if anyone would like to take the mantle, feel free.

Im 2dpo today and have another ultrasound on Wednesday to see if follicle has burst followed by pdg blood test.

@Onthedouble123
@DonnaWhat
@moosey89
@Bellebg
@Lovedatforme
@Ncl31
@PearlCat
@LucyCL
@CadoAvo
@ThelastRolo20
@Figtree11

She said she is doing tests at day 1-5 for my other hormones and then another at day 21 for Progesterone. Fingers crossed it highlights the issues we’re having xx

Can I join please? I had a MMC at the start of July (at 11 weeks, one week after a scan where the baby was the right size with a heartbeat so it was a huge shock). Got my first period post-surgery on Sunday, and despite still being a bit teary about the loss I’m hoping to try again this cycle.

@MaudePie sorry for your loss, welcome to the thread. I had an mmc back in march. How are you?

Hello, could I join as well?

I lost my son at 22 weeks last September. DP and I have been actively trying this past month. I had symptoms but tested negative, think this might be indication of a period. Expecting AF any day now.

Welcome @MaudePie and @ApplesNest, I’m sorry you both find yourself here. however, this group is very supportive and there has been some BFPs which fills my heart with hope.
@Figtree11 I’m sorry to hear you’re still struggling. AF well and truly arrived for me yesterday at cd29. So clearly I didn’t ovulate last cycle. Onwards we go. I’ve stripped back the prenatal i take and now I’m only taking folic acid and I’m going to try and give the OPKs a miss this month too.

Hi @MaudePie and @ApplesNest I am so sorry for your losses. Welcome to the thread. Everyone is lovely here.

@Ncl31 I’m really sorry AF has arrived 😔 I stopped with the opks a while ago. I do find it better not doing them personally, especially when my cycle is haywire

@Ncl31 @Figtree11 thank you for the lovely welcome. I’m very sorry you’re both still continuing this journey to conceive too. I’m still very early days in actively TTC so I’m not bearing the frustration of repeated BFNs. Do treat yourselves kindly where you can. I’m hopeful there will be wonderful news for us all, especially when we least expect it. I’ll be here cheering you on!

Distraction and reducing stress are my main tactics. I’ve opted out of two friends gatherings, a birthday party for a one year old and a meet up with a group of friends (one pregnant and one whose baby was born near my son’s due date). Somehow, I feel so proud that I’m protecting my wellbeing.

I’m also training for a run for a charity that supported DP and I after our loss, in no way am I slim but exercise and losing a bit of weight will be a bonus. Plus, I find running clears the mind. I hope everyone has something to keep their minds on the present moment. Sending lots of hugs and comforting thoughts.

@ApplesNest i can only just imagine how horrific it was to lose your son at 22 weeks, im very sorry.
Good for you for protecting your wellbeing by avoiding certain situations, i think it’s the best way to be. I worked from home one day last week when a colleague came in with her baby who was due the same week my first loss was.

I too find distraction is the best way for me. The charity run sounds amazing, and a really good way to focus on something. How much more training have you got to do before the run? I wish I was into running, I can imagine it’s a great way to zone out. I have a young nephew, so i have been cross stitching patterns to frame to go in his bedroom. I’m too busy counting the stitches to think of anything else so I find that helpful on an evening

There's a bit more information here if you are interested @HerbaceousPerennial and @Figtree11 https://www.thepsychcollective.com/the-threat-drive-soothe-systems

For me there is so much hurt and trauma going on. At some point it does need dealing with but it would make me more raw and vulnerable and that's not a priority right now whilst I'm functioning. I did a compassion focused therapy course with the perinatal team after having my daughter and the mindfulness and soothing rhythm breathing made me feel so exposed. It was like I had a gapping wound and someone had poured alcohol in it. I did some work with the psychologist separately and worked out that I need a layer of protection in order to access the soothing system in a way that is helpful. For me this means my body can relax but my mind is occupied a bit. Crafty stuff works for me, colouring and cross stitch that sort of thing but also puzzles and games. I like reading too. If I don't have the headspace I go back to children's books. When I was in hospital I re read harry potter and Jacqueline Wilson!

Ladies I think I'll be miscarrying soon. My tests aren't really progressing since Tuesday. They haven't gotten lighter. But I'm 14dpo so four weeks, 3 days and I'm still getting 1-2 on weeks indicator and my test hasn't changed much from this since Wednesday. I'm devastated. I can see the pattern. I really thought after losing my twins this was my lucky break.

@Ncl31 I paired back to folic acid and vit D. Took a natural brand called Viridian.

Hi @MaudePie and @ApplesNest I'm sorry for your losses.

I'm new to here too. I had a miscarriage last week at 10 weeks. We are edging back into the world again and getting ready for starting again

Oh @Ella31. Try not to overthink things. Is there anyone you can talk through this to get some reassurance - midwife of EPU? Sending positive vibes xxx

@Ella31 I'm so sorry you're feeling anxious. I think that test looks fine though. I've never used the digi weeks one but have read lots on here of people worrying but then it jumps a day or two later.
Id definitely give someone a call for reassurance if it will make you feel better but try not to panic. Do you feel okay in yourself physically? Sending you big hugs. 💕 Xx

Thanks on the double. It's just I've always had dye stealer by now with my twins. I actually sm getting my second blood draw today but because it didn't go up to 2-3 this morning, it must not have risen much as 2-3 is about 153 min hcg needed

I'm seeing a nurse for my second blood draw this evening but I find they are all the same. They don't give any reassurance and the doc I went to on Wednesday had to look up what the minimum amount of hcg to confirm pregnancy was. The EPU won't touch you until you can get a scan.

@Ella31 your hormones would probably been higher due to twins. There's also a 10 fold range for normal HCG at 14dpo. I think I would try to stay occupied today and wait for the results of the blood tests. Thinking of you x

@Ella31 don't forget you had two in there with the twins though!
Have you got something to keep your mind busy til your appt this evening? Xx

Thanks @Superscientist and @Onthedouble123 I don't know why I'm so obsessed.

I just feel they should be darker

@Ella31 1-2 weeks is right for 14 dpo. 2 weeks since conception. Please don't beat yourself up. Let's see what happens with your bloods. I'm very hopeful foe you. It looks ok to me. With twins you had extra hcg so that will be why they aren't as prominent. Thinking of you xxx

This was it just now.

@Ella31 your tests look great and 1-2 weeks is right for 14doo. Please don't panic.

Do you think so @jellyfish2? God I didn't think I was this much of a worrier

Yeah they're absolutely fine. I completely understand your anxiety but if you want to keep testing I'd take one a couple of days apart. I don't think the clear blue ones are particularly good for seeing line progression. I used the easy at home ones which were faint to start with, they did take a while to get dark though.

@Ella31 I’d echo everything PPs have said, that’s all looking very good for 14dpo to me. Pregnancy after loss is really tough, especially after what you have been through, and it’s really hard not to worry - but the likelihood is that everything will go well with this pregnancy. I found Tommy’s very good to chat things through with.

@Superscientist thanks for that link. After my last loss I made a plan to try and cope a bit better (I did not cope at all well after my first loss) and it’s interesting looking back over it in this context - the plan has I think quite a good mix of (productive) drive and soothe. Are you quite a research focused person? Just wondering because of your username! Hope you are doing ok today

@Figtree11 yeah my only obvious PCOS symptom was a lack of periods - when I was diagnosed I hadn’t had one in over a year. But blood tests and scans in combination with that confirmed it. I’ve no other symptoms, I’m healthy weight, not hairy etc. Because I’m not insulin resistant and I can fall pregnant naturally it’s made no difference at all to my treatment for miscarriage or conception. I just do a pregnancy test once a week (or well I try to limit myself to once a week) - I’ve done two this week and both negative so looking forward to a couple of drinks at the weekend.

@ApplesNest @MaudePie I’m so sorry for your losses. I’m new here too - here’s hoping this thread brings us all luck