TTC after loss part 5

[Ella31]

Just continuing our old thread. I've added anyone who has asked to stay on here. As always, anyone who is trying after a loss is welcome to join and those who have been lucky since are welcome to encourage those who are still waiting for their rainbow (if you want to stay of course )

Also for the next thread, I'm going to let someone else take over creating the new one if people don't mind. I've a lot on at the moment with tests and I'm back to work in the next few weeks after my bereavement leave with my boys. So if anyone would like to take the mantle, feel free.

Im 2dpo today and have another ultrasound on Wednesday to see if follicle has burst followed by pdg blood test.

@Onthedouble123
@DonnaWhat
@moosey89
@Bellebg
@Lovedatforme
@Ncl31
@PearlCat
@LucyCL
@CadoAvo
@ThelastRolo20
@Figtree11

I’ve started with quite a bit of cramping tonight, so expect AF will arrive during the night.
explains why I had a total emotional breakdown and feeling of impending doom last night and didn’t sleep :(
im so fed up. I was hoping I would be pregnant again by my due date next week

@Ncl31 i’m sorry, it’s so difficult. Upcoming due dates are horrible. My due date was in June. And I have another due date coming up in November and I really want to be pregnant by then, and far enough alone that I feel more confident it will work out ok.
I’m also feeling quite low, you aren’t alone xxx

I’m so sorry, it’s really difficult isn’t it.
Im currently on a secondment as department manager and on Friday I heard that some of the team were unhappy with some of my choices, when I got him I completely lost the plot and just cried for almost the full weekend.
Ive since had a chat with them and it turns out they’re unhappy but didn’t realise that the decisions had been made by higher management and I was simply passing the information on. I did tell them this at the time but people don’t listen when they’re being told something they don’t like. I feel much better this week but then this potential AF impending has knocked me again today.

i hope you get your BFP very soon

@Ncl31 work stress is so hard, when you already have a lot going on in your personal life. I’m lucky in that work for me has been my saviour really. Which is mad to think as it’s just work, but I am mostly able to put all this to one side & escape it while I’m busy at work.
Thank you, I hope you get your BFP soon too

Hi everyone, mind if I join? I’m TTC number 2, two MMC, both diagnosed around the 11 week mark. My last loss was April.

@Ncl31 re you an nhs ward manager by any chance at all? If you are welcome to the club… it can be an utter nightmare.

You’re more than welcome @HerbaceousPerennial we have been getting a bit thin on the ground in this group after a run of BFPs recently

How is everyone? I am losing my mind here as I am cycle day 35 and quite frankly not sure when my period is coming after a week long LH surge. Done a FRER today and I am pretty sure I have an indent line and not the beginning of a positive 😭 I really think I need to get the mums net app as I rely at the moment on email notifications to say there are messages and by that point I am already behind and then I forget to respond

@Mummysparrow i feel similar, cd32 for me and not had any signs of ovulation yet.
I don’t have the app, I just stay logged in on my phone on safari & just refresh on here to see notifications

Thanks @Figtree11 a couple of us are the last women standing on another thread which has filled up so thought I’d hop over! I’m not sure exactly what cycle day I even am any more, I have PCOS and had settled into a fairly regular 6 week cycle but this one has gone bananas, I’m at about week 8 if I count from my last true period but I had about 3 weeks of spotting in the middle. I think I might have ovulated this weekend but really hard to tell. I am feeling surprisingly ok about it though. We’ve been trying over a year now so hoping this thread brings some much needed luck!

@HerbaceousPerennial the more the merrier 😊 Sorry to hear what you’ve been through. But I’m glad you are feeling ok at the moment.

i’ve been trying for about 13 months now, with 2 MMC in that time. Last one was start of May, which ended up being a partial molar pregnancy. I only got cleared to try again coming up to a month ago, with my first period a month ago too.

I do wonder about PCOS myself sometimes, as since coming off the pill last year I’ve never had what would be considered a normal cycle. But the miscarriages maybe haven’t given my body time to become regular, I don’t know

It does just fit together. This was the first month I had kind of given up because I was so drained from it

@Figtree11 remember that although it's 13 months, remember you can reset the months back because you did get pregnant albeit you unfortunately had two losses so it's a sign that your body is perfectly capable, so I would see this as something. I've fingers and toes crossed

Thank you @Ella31 ❤️ Nice to hear from you. How are you doing?

Just said I'd check in with everyone here that those waiting for their bfp's are comfortable with others who have theirs comenting on the thread. It's really important that you feel comfortable and are not hurting but I hope that in particular posters who have bfp's can offer some advice if you need it. There's obviously a distinction between that and it turning into a pregnancy after loss thread which it isnt. Said I'd just post this as I'm aware there's been a flurry of bfp's this past few weeks and I know it's so bloody hard when it comes up.

Good @Figtree11 distracting myself. I know you are stressing about ovulation. I was thinking about that the last day or so when you mentioned it and I remember my obestrician telling me when I went back for my checkup a few weeks ago that sometimes after a loss or major stress, you can experience a month of anovulation where you don't ovulate just the once. Very normal and just the body responding to stress ect. I really believe you are on recovery from your molar and your body is just saying I'm still getting ready.

I had therapy after having my daughter and we had a session on the threat soothing drive system. I almost exclusively live in drive mode to avoid the threat zone. The soothing zone for me needs to be a distraction form like crafts and colouring keeping my hands busy because it moves me into threat zone where I feel a whole lot more vulnerable and have a lot of baggage there still needs dealing with but no right now.

I find it quite a useful thought exercise to recognise when I'm using work to escape and how I sometimes need to proactively access the soothing system in a manageable way to avoid burn out

I love the line in the orange is the new black theme tune taking steps is easy standing still is hard. It's definitely something I relate to. Sitting and being can be a challenge my mind has to be occupied to stay in safe spaces.

Thanks @Ella31 for the sensitivity. I am so happy for everyone who've had a BFP and I personally don't mind them commenting if they wish, as it's does give a glimmer of hope. I've reached out to the GP this morning to see if there's anything they can offer to help. We've pretty much given up at this point now. Spotting last night. AF due today

No problem, I'm just conscious that it's easy for people once our tests turn positive to forget how hard we found it.

Have you gone through the fertility side? It's called the fertility hub here in Ireland but it worked magic for me. Gave me reassurance and the hsg procedure this month might have helped me.

Thinking of you @Figtree11 . I was in the same boat a couple of weeks ago, had a giant rant to some friends about LH tracking, then in the end it started to increase later that day. It's so frustrating, but it will happen, it took 37 and 30 days for me after the D&C, I think losses can very much upset your normal rhythm.

Were all here still rallying for you ladies and those bfps will come. I have everything crossed for you all 🥰 This thread has got me through some really bad times and some good times too. I love how supportive everyone is and nothing is censored. We talk about it all. I couldn't have dealt with everything I had without this thread on ladies because other than my partner I don't really have anyone to talk to what we go though with. Please try not to be so downtrodden. I wish you all the very best, I'm still hanging around because even though I have a bfp, nothing is out of woods yet. I'll stay quiet in the background though, rooting for you all 🥰🥰🥰🥰

@Ella31 no I live in wales so things slightly different here. Called GP and she suggested doing blood tests first and check if I am ovulating. I would like a hsg and will consider doing this private if NHS can’t help xx

@Figtree11 thanks so much. We have had a very similar year it sounds like, although my last loss wasn’t molar. That’s interesting you’ve wondered about PCOS - I’ve never had normal cycles so it was pretty obvious for me something was up, I was diagnosed years ago. But like @Ella31 says, my miscarriages sent everything bananas cycle wise anyway, even more so than usual. What I would say is that with PCOS, it’s still very possible to have a baby, it just tends to take longer to get there. I did have testing for insulin resistance after my last loss to see if that was a factor but it wasn’t.

@Superscientist your post resonated a lot. I spent a lot of time distracting myself so I didn’t have to think about what had happened. I think I’ve finally got into a much better place but that may just be temporary!

@Ella31 thank you for sharing what your obstetrician said, that would make a lot of sense that stress can do that to ovulation. I keep having to remind myself that yes my loss was coming up to 4 months ago, but actually I only got to negative hcg last month.
You are always so welcome on this thread - you give such brilliant advise, and we all can empathise with how hard pregnancy after loss is. I’m glad you are doing as well as can be.

@Superscientist thank you for sharing that. Distraction is definitely what works most for me. Sitting in my thoughts just takes me to such a low place

@ExTriTrying thank you, I definitely need to keep reminding myself that losses just throw our bodies so out of kilter

@DonnaWhat hope you are doing ok x

@HerbaceousPerennial It’s frustrating as I don’t seem to know my cycles at all. The last time I had periods was when I was 18! I’m now 33, so I’ve been on hormonal contraception so long I don’t know what my body would usually be like. I don’t really have any other symptoms of PCOS except the long cycles, but that could just be because of the losses. But who knows. I think if it carries on like this for a few more months I will make a gp appointment to investigate

Definitely, one thing I will say to you is the only blood test they can do for ovulation is pdg which is progesterone, mine came back low despite scans showing I did ovulate and I got pregnant this month based on that. So don't be disheartened