2ww and the bit in between. BFP's we're waiting!

[Bucky2008]

Maybe a nice shiny new thread will get us all enthusiastic again. I am on my rubbish diet so I only have nuts and beans to put out on the table. Oh and gin of course ;o) Anyone got any cakes to tempt me with?

Ding ding....let's...go

Do you think I have gone a bit mad

I'm here as well

GG I am sorry that AF showed her nasty face again, but it is good to see you being upbeat about it. I'll be thinking about you and Mr Griffin on Monday. I'm not surprised you are scared, but once you know your options you can take a step back and think about which one is the best and one or two of them might not be too bad. I'm also not surprised you are cross with Mr Griffin for drinking. Stopping really is a pretty small price to pay to get a baby (and I am not preaching here, I get cross with my DH for exactly the same thing, but he'll be out on the lash tonight regardless).

Picknmix I had heard that progesterone levels should be highest 7 days after ovulation, hence "21 day test" (more "28 day cycle is normal" stupidity) so if I were you I would wait until I saw tons of EWCM to book it. I don't know whether one month of tests is enough to tell anyone anything - I mean, what if you are having an anovulatory cycle?

Bucky I think three times can defitely be enough- certainly it did the trick for me and DH the last time I got pregnant. All your walks sound lovely, and I am especially as I need to stay in in the evenings to look after Mini-SH. There's honeysuckle and poppies in my back garden, but then I find they are even more enoyable with a G&T in hand? No seriously, after a couple of days of indulging in liquid dinners it is now time to dry out and hopefully produce a non-pickled egg! Re your op, that's great that they have scheduled it so fast, and I think the holes will be tiny. Won't they go in through your belly-button? If so they will hardly be noticeable at all.

Caitni well done on finishing your exams. It's pretty impressive to have done a conversion and LPC while working, clearly you are excellent at multi-tasking! I'm not surprised you fancy a break now though!

MOB Good for you talking to the nurse. I guess it is a good step in the right direction.

News from me? Not much? I was getting stressed out by the acupuncturist being less than organised and so am seeing a new one tomorrow which is always scary because I never know if they will be gentle or not! I'm on CD 6, maybe, so quite a long time to go until ov, and am listening to a hypnotherapy CD so we'll see if that helps (doubtful). I'd do better equipping DH's swimmers with little power tools so they can get through whatever crud is blocking my tube...

Yay!

Glad to hear you're feelig a bit more positive today GG. Not sure if you've seen this about smoothies for helping sperm. Could you build them into your DH's diet without telling him why?? Counter-balance the alcohol intake..... I know its only a small thing and that it wont solve anything but every little bit helps, eh? I've printed out a copy ready for my DH, luckily he's up for doing anything that may help at the mo (but I'm sure the novelty will wear off eventually!). Will be keeping you in my thoughts on Monday - must be a really trying time for you at the mo.

Wow Caitni, you must be a very motivated person to do all that!! I did a degree whilst working a few years ago - twas tiring and ridiculously took up all my spare time. Sadly I haven't even used the degree for anything spectacular!!!

Sounds like you'll be doing a mercy mission to the hospital with dh's little swimmers then MOB!! as GG says, think you should be supplied with the blues 'n' twos to get you there in the alloted time ! Well done on coming [semi ] clean to the nurse (fully understand why you didn't divulge all of your ttc 'habits'!). It feels wierd doesn't it, actually saying it outloud. I actually had to work out what I was gonna say before I went in cos I'm such a prude and didn't know how to put it! Ended up saying, in a rather formal fashion, 'I need to discuss my fertility with you, I am having problems trying to conceive a baby' - made me lol when I got out when I realised how dickish that sounded outloud

Ooooo, deffo think candy floss may help with excm production GG - as does a hot bag of chips sat on the pier with a can of cold coke (always find the two go together, no idea why as all they do is make me burp )

Ooops walked away from the computer without pressing post and have consequently crossed posts with loads of you!!

BUcky [shock about your quick hospital appt, am pleased they have been so efficient but what a bugger that its just before your holiday.....

Talking of your fnar fnar'ing MOB and Caitni - I'm sooooo pleased no-one picked up on my "good to hear you felt so excited about ttc at the park" in one of my posts (directed at Caitni) further down.... only noticed the double entendre when I re-read after I'd posted!!

Which hypno cd are you listening to SH? Am always a bit sceptical about my ability to actually listen to anything like that so will interested to hear how you get on with it.

PnM damn - can't believe we missed that great sniggering opportunity

Am coming over all gooey and sentimental at many of us all appearing together for once. Aaah.

I'll look up the name when I get back, but at one point it tells me to feel myself melting "like butter in the sun" which made me crack up (which is probably not the point)

You see, I think thats the problem I'd have with it - I'd end up laughing (which I guess, in a way, is stress relieving....!). My mum used to do meditative classes for people suffering with MS and I used to go along, was nearly always told to leave as would end up laughing at my mothers hypnotic voice (I was young BTW - don't want you to think this was last week and I'm totally disrespectful towards my mum )

Ladies ! Just a quick hello I feel so inadequate, you ladies are all doing mammoth posts !
Just wanted to say all the best for Monday GG - it must be so nerve-wracking but then think of it as a step closer to your much longed-for bambino . At least when you know the suggested route you can start researching and preparing yourselves and grr at TEW showing up {{{big hugs}}}
LOL at the Brighton weekend away and EWCM help from candy-floss !
Bucky at speedy appt, hopefully your next one is quite soon too - get ot over with then get that wee beany growing in your belly
Ei hurray for referral. Am so glad so many ladies have been for medical advice and been taken seriously - remember there was a spell when loads of ladies on here were treated appallingly by GPs . Seems we have a more positive spell and let's hope they get you sorted too MOB and PnM
AM 16 weeks now and dreading feeling movement as have always found it really freaky maybe when it is in my belly I will like it but I have been jumping out of my skin at every rumble of wind this week !
Next time I pop in here I expect to see at least 1 BFP byeeee

Caitni - you did the conversion and LPC on top of working full time?! . You are superwoman

Bucky - wow, they were quick with the appointment. That's great news that you didn't have to wait long, but not great timing, if you are going on holiday the next day . I am sure the incisions will be teeny tiny, but you will still want time to recover and don't want to have to worry about feeling well/unwell. If you have to re-arrange, I am sure you'll be able to get a rescheduled appointment really quickly, if an appointment came up so soon. Are you going anywhere exciting on holiday?

picknmix - Hey, we were just playing hard to get . We're all still here. And thanks loads for the smoothie sperm stimulating tip. My DH loves his smoothies (although he doesn't love cleaning the blender after making them ) so I will send the link to him.

scary - at a garden with honeysuckle and flowers to drink your G&T's in. I want a proper grown up house too . i do feel a bit of a hypocrite drinking, but I have had one wee G&T in a week (in AF arriving stressful circumstances) and, stricly, I'm not the one with any issue we are aware of. He has a diagnosed medical problem of low sperm count and been told to cut out alcohol by the doctors, but he doesn't

Good luck with the dash across town tonight MOB. Drive carefully and watch out running those red lights and skidding round corners to make the 30 min time limit. Don't spill any

SH like butter melting in the sun...v funny! I'd also be interested though (and in the accupuncture - saw your other thread about that and glad you found one) as I reckon the old art of relaxation is pretty important. And I've seen some positive "it worked for me" type stuff on MN about hypnotherapy CDs...

PnM so it seems that double entendres are lost on me! Though am all for a little fnar fnar-ing as agree that laughing is the best stress buster. And I salute you as a fellow survivor of the work/study madness! Though perhaps you could seranade us with some more singing (I ask hopefully, as that honestly made me splutter with laughter at my desk - perfect for the open plan office )

MOB it is great to have so many on at once - made my afternoon so so much more fun! Praise the lord for the interweb!

GG more X posting - the smoothies look great, and again I've seen lots of anecdotal "smoothies worked for my DH" on MN, but hadn't realised what they were on about...and the conversion/LPC back to back is more like "super-I-don't-want-a-social-life-thanks-cos-I-have-to-do-stupid-homework-like-a-teenager-and-not-a- paid-up-member-of-the-grown-up-club" but that could be just because it's finally behind me now

I think the CD might be this one. It tries to deal with any fears that you might have that could be preventing pregnancy. For first timers, one suggestion it makes is that you may have spent so long saying "no" to getting pregnant that you actually have to now tell your body "yes". On the basis that it is only 25 minutes of lying about I figure it is worth a shot.

GG come move up here then (and be neighbours with me and DG)! Seriously this place is rammed with refugees from central London who needed a third bedroom

My DH has lots of smoothies (it's the only way he eats fruit) so I guess I can forgive him the bender he is currently on...Right, have in-laws and a house full of other people's children this weekend, so must go pretend to clean.

OK,I am a crazy lady...even the advert for the Hypnotherapy CD made me snigger...Obvioulsy this is only funny to me, because i am insane and I hope that it works for you SH. If it does I will buy it and play it while I am asleep .

MOB did you make it to the hospital with the package in tact . Its strange how there are so many of us on here doing tests at the moment. I hope that we all get sorted at the same time so that we can share baby stories too. .

GG A personal question which you totally do not have to answer, but you know me, nosy cow that I am, has your DP ever talked frankly to you about how he feels about his results? No need to go into details of course, I just wondered if he has ever actually expressed any upset about his diagnosis? Obviously we only get snippets, but it seems like he is kind of resigned to what he sees as his fate, or am I reading too much into it. He has gone for all the tests etc afterall so he obviously is trying a bit. . Men just suck with the no drinking thing anyway. I could barely carry our recycling out this week there were so many beer bottles.... Um I am rambling on a bit and not being at all constructive so I will move on. I just wondered if he is actually really upset about the problem being his and sticking his head in the sand is his way of coping.

Round of applause for Caitni and her sacrifice. I did my masters whilst working and it was the most exhausting experience of my life. I swore I would never take any kind of course again, not even flower arranging. Just awful. You deserve a big G&T to celebrate. On a brighter subject, Cork was the best year of my life. We used to spend all our time in Clancys and a bar called I think it was 'the oak' where there were live bands. I met my DP there, he is Northern Irish and was working there. Cork rocks!

pmsl at PnM saying she thought she sounded 'dickish' hahahahahahahahaha . The fact that you didn't actually sound 'dickish' made me smile even more. I think i used about 10,000 words where about 20 would have done. What else can you say? Um 'I've been shagging for ages and my baby hasn't turned up? Anyway you can put a missing persons out for him doc?'

Hey Mibbesy

Well I am already smelling the sea air and tasting the chips. I have also put my fortune teller money to one side. Name the date girlies.

Bucky - We have talked frankly about how he feels about the low sperm count, but we haven't talked emotionally, if that makes sense? Or maybe i have, but he doesn;t get it.

He doesn't and won't fret about not having children like I do, so consequently, he gets on with our current life while i feel stiuck in limbo. He said - partly in as a defensive, knee jerk reaction and partly because I think he does feel like this - "I don't mind if I don't have children. I am happy and I love you".

On balance, the diagnosis of my DH's dire sperm test results have hit him. It was a shock to him for sure - he certainly didn't suspect a low sperm count even when he went for the test, and it does impact on his view of his own manliness. But in all honesty... I don't believe he has taken it to heart. He doesn't feel the possible lack of Dcs the way i do

It's difficult for me to get him to understand that this is crucifying me. I tell him - we do talk about things - but he really doesn't feel the pain or empathise particularly with my tears, but all the time he is kind and sympthetic.

i really think he would be a wonderful and involved father to any DCs we had, but equally, i know he would be happy ploughing on with his career, spending time just him and me and seeing his friends. My DH is endlessly practical and very happy go lucky and that governs the way he thinks and feels. He thinks in a highly logical and positive way "I have no children therefore I cannot miss them, so no point in crying into my tea every morning that I have crap sperm, because i have all these positives...". I suppose that sums up his view while I want to tear my hair out and scream every time my AF turns up .

erm...sorry for the outpouring Bucky and everyone

Woohoooo - I've just finished putting together a CV so I can start applying for fabulous jobs and stop putting my life on hold 'just in case'. God its difficult remembering what I've done in my life.... Seems to be not very much when written down .

Anyway, feeling a little more optimistic, just have to find some jobs to apply for now!!

Bucky I can't decide if you are laughing about my use of the word 'dickish' or the context in which it was written - either way, it has made me as well! I think I also did the 'I'm not going to look you in the eye whilst discussing my sex life with you' look. Although I have to admit I almost referred to my husband as my 'DH', so used am I to discussing all things ttc on here....

SH if it gives me an excuse to lie still for 25 mins then I might just have to give the hypno cd a try . Hope the cleaning's going ok!?

Caitni, believe me, you prob don't want me to serenade you..... 'warbling trout' tendencies overcome me and I just have to reach for the nearest hairbrush/deodorant bottle when I hear the opening strains of some of Celine Dions/Dolly Partons [delete as applicable on account of mood] finest...

Christ, don't apologise GG - I'm sorry for crossing posts with you!

I think that may be your DH just has a very masculine view. I've heard quite a few of my friends (who have children) say that their DH wasn't particularly involved in the pregnancy, that they couldn't really connect with the bump that it would eventually turn into a baby. It was only when they held that baby that they really felt 'connected'.

Whilst it is tearing you apart, I'm guessing it may well be worse for you if your DH fell apart as well - he may sense that you need his stability to keep you on track. My DH is very good at hiding his feelings if he thinks I need his support. He never really grieved properly when we had the miscarriage until I had finshed at the hospital and had finally (2 months later ) stopped bleeding.

Its such a minefield though and I REALLY can empathise with how difficult you are finding this.

Bucky you're right the CD is ridiculous (I could even say "dickish" ) but I am easily sucked in and will give anything a try as long as there is noone watching!

GG men are infuriating. My DH didn't really bat an eyelid about the ectopic. I think his view was just that he wanted me to be ok and that was sufficient. He wants another child too, but not in the same way. Certainly he seems to believe we're just going to have a baby whereas I spend foolish amounts of time analysing my body or (like just now) lying down letting a total stranger stick needles into me in an attempt to make it happen. The obsessive part doesn't exist for him. It is really hard I think to talk about problems with fertility, especially when it looks like all of the problems lie with one partner. It's not easy to talk without laying blame, and we have a monthly reminder of how things are not going our way which just makes it worse. I think because they don't have periods, men just trundle on quite happily without needing to think about what is missing.

PnM the cleaning, sadly, did not get done, as I discovered it was more fun to float about in the bath reading 'Atonement'. For what it's worth, I think your explanation to the Dr sounded pretty sensible. Whenever I go to see a new acupuncturist or doctor or whoever I feel like a total moron with my "my husband and I have been trying for a baby and it hasn't happened yet". And I always say it with a stupid smile on my face because otherwise I might cry. It is probably the only time I ever feel really vulnerable at the moment, when I need to tell people about problems with ttc.

Anyway, happy Friday to you all. The new acupuncture guy was great and I felt things moving (probably not very clear if you've never had it, but it's like feeling it work). Honestly I am starting to think my last one only knew a couple of points. And this one is much better at putting the needles in without pain (except for one in my ear which still stings an hour later!)

Thats great that the new accupuncturist seems to be far more competent than the last Scary. Its still something I need to look into, found a great lady locally (who has my mums seal of approval - my mum is a practicing accupuncturist) but it's yet another one of those 'the first step is the hardest' things.

I was going to write something else but its gone clean out of my head......

FF gave me ov lines today - reckoned I ov'ed on the 17th so we're out for the month cos nothing happened around that time that could possibly make a baby. Ah well.. I've booked my blood test for the 24th June as that will be 7 days after ov, I really hope thats right as I don't want to have to wait for another month. Actually - does anyone know whether its ok to test the day 21 of this cycle and then the day 2 of my next cycle? Or do they have to be done in the same cycle in order to compare?? The Dr didn't seem to think so but I'm not sure I believe her!!

scary - is your acupuncturist good and is he in the City? I'd like DH to try acupuncture as he has read that it does help sperm counts and, surprisingly, didn't dismiss out of hand going himself. Do you have the details?

I am PMSL at the hypno-CD, but I also know I would try it too . i suggest we conduct a 2WW experiemtn. We all listen to the CD for one month and see who gets at BFP at the end . The lucky winner wins a pack of butter to melt at their leisure

picknmix - I am excited for you about your CV and possible new job. It's a great feeling when you make a decision to go for somehting . I am also going to use my new word "dickish" in concersation today because I like the sound of it. I can add it to the 2WW list of new words along with "shanging".

have a lovely weekend everyone. I have just realised I have completely fcked up my flights back to Scotland this weekend for my mum's 60th birthday party . All my fault and a slip of the mouse when I booked them ages ago, but it is going to cost a LOT of money to get new tickets for DH and me because it is a business route. I can't miss the bl*dy party though!! I think i am going to have to take a very deep breath and pay in the region of £800 for two return plane tickets . Oh, and I can't even get hold of DH this morning to tell him . This is not going to be pretty....if I don't log on you will know I have been murdered for being a complete idiot and my body chucked in the Serpentine by my disgusted DH . Do they do a relaxation CD for vexed husbands?

Bucky - has your DP ever talked about how he feels about having/not having a baby? Does he take a similarly masculaine view?

hello to everyone else

Well I re-read my last post and am not sure what I was rambling on about PnM . It was the word 'dickish' that tickled me, but also your description of feeling all prudish. When clearly there are only a limited number of ways of describing the situation. The million words I referred to were the million words I used to describe the situation to my doctor.... Sometimes I worry after i read my posts, they are very random at best.

GG hugs. I rang the hospital thinking my holiday would give me a reprieve from the dreaded knife until at least....um 18 weeks, but NO, she has changed it to the 17th July . I am glad in a way as I can find out once and for all if there is any reason for baby bucky not shanging out with us.

scary glad the acupunture was better. I have had a few needles once and it was quite uncomfortable, but then it was in my neck at the chiropractor after an adjustment....

What is everyone up to this weekend....oh and GG it's ME going to Annecy on hols!

GG £800? For 2 tickets to scotland?! Crikey!! But you're right, you can't miss your mums 60th. Went to a friends wedding in Italy last year - another friend booked his and his GFs tickets to Nice.....instead of Pisa. Another slip of the mouse and two expensive connecting tickets later from Nice to Pisa and they finally arrived with minutes to spare before the wedding got under way

This weekend will see the PnM household kicking back and enjoying the [non] sunshine. Think DH has grand ideas about running round and doing various house things but I shall not. If the weather gets better we may hold a bbq - in fact, we may put the marquee up in the garden and have one anyway

17th July Bucky? That is a quick re-booking! But great to get it out of the way, so much better than having to wait around for an age.

It's this chap. He's up at Exmouth Market.

I have also heard that acupuncture is good for improving sperm and it has got to be worth a shot.

(and he's not that expensive, which should go some way to saving for those gold-plated plane tickets)

Excellent - lots of lovely posts to read through.

Bucky woo hoo clancys and the oak! I've had fun times there myself whenever I head back for visits and wow, yet more fast app booking at the hospital - though this is very much a Good Thing, as it's the next step on getting lil baby bucky away from whereever he/she's shanging out now so he/she can shang with you and Monsieur Bucky instead (I shall be weakly Frenchifying my post in honour of Annecy)

SH ooh I had looked at that clinic on Monday while googling it at work as Exmouth Market is about two mins from my office (in fact I shall shortly be heading up there to buy my lunch). Glad to hear that he's good. I'm tres interested in accupuncture, but have a touch of the first step is the hardest like PnM about it...i think feeling things move must be an excellent sign!

PnM am so glad to hear that you're working on your CV and will be applying for jobs. So exciting, and so good to remember all the excellent things you've done and achieved. Sounds like a lovely weekend planned chez PnM...on the serenading front, I love the Dolly - she is so the best to sing along with!

GG I had to pick my jaw up at the cost of your flights - but totally understand as you have to make the party. The Dublin flights set us back even more than that, as, er, ending up first booking the wrong dates (in fairness, my sis told me the wrong dates) so had to get another Ryanair set, and then lost our passports (long story!) so had to book Aer Lingus ones for the same dates so I could use my work pass as ID, and then promptly missed our return flight Sunday avo (damn you dublin traffic) so had to fork out for yet another set of flights so feel free to use me as an example of "this is bad, but it could have been much worse" But you know, it was still totally worth it as despite all that we both had a super good and relaxing weekend, which more than made up for my rending of garments and tearing of hair at the arrival of AF the previous weekend...Am glad you can vent about DH on here. Much as I love mine, I am tempted to add two custom boxes to FF that say "Irritated DH" (for when he looks at my ttc obsession and wonders where his wife went) and "Irritating DH" for when I just want to scream at him...actually, he's in IT and I bet he'd actually probably like that, rational soul that he is lol

And totally think an experiment with the CD could be a winner - we could don lab coats while we listened, to add to that proper experiment vibe and surely the prospect of winning butter would spur all the eggs and lil swimmers on into a BFP bonanza! Formidable!

MOB hope your DH got on grand at his app. I had my temp rise this morning so reckon I did ov yesterday (I am always paranoid that my temp won't rise, yet more of the anxiety that makes accupuncture and hypno CDs sound so appealing).

Pretty chilled out weekend planned with me, though work is rather getting in the way of my Friday web "research" on MN Off to Brighton tomorrow, to measure up the new flat we're renting to see how much of our furniture it'll fit. It's on the seafront, so am looking to soaking up some of the atmosphere (and chips and even candy floss!). And then to my sister's (and my two very cute little nieces) in the afternoon. And hairdressers on Sunday for a (v badly needed) cut and highlights session.

In other annoying news, I am in the midst of such a bad skin break out that I feel like an adolescent - bring back my train tracks and terrible scrunch dried hair and it could be 1990 with the state of my cheek and chin. I'm going to be a bridesmaid at my best friend's big fancy wedding in Edinburgh next week so am hoping this all clears up soon so I don't wreck her pix lol

And hello to Ei and Mibbes and all the other lovely ladies - happy friday to all!

i booked new flights and they set me back a staggering £650, plus what I paid for the original cheapo ones . I feel ill. No alternative really, 'cause I had to be there. We are so restructed on times have (we have to be back in London for our consultant appointment on Monday afternoon), so they screw you because of all the business people competing on the Mon/Fri flights on expenses. Last train leaves Euston at around 5-ish today, so that was out. I am a total idiot . Does this mean I can award myself a medicinal G&T to combat the stress?

scary - thanks loads for the acupuncturist details . I have sent them on to DH, with a small lie that it's you AND your Dh who goes there . He works at Holborn, so this place would be perfect....if I can get him there ! I'll let you know what he says.

caitni and picknmix - thanks for your stories. i am glad I am not the only total idiot when it comes to booking flights

Bucky - have a lovely time in Annecy - must read the posts more carefully . i think it is a good thing your appointment is on the 17th, even if it does mean you have less time to get your head round it. You'll be back all rested and relaxed after your holiday and you will have answers more quickly and, then, soon, a Baby Bucky .

hello to MOB abby mibbes *

GG oh medicinal g&t is definitely in order. Bloody rip-off airlines grrr. Well, am hoping the party is stonking good fun and you're all ready for the app on Monday. Will be thinking of you.